A gasp sounded in Phoebe’s ear; clearly she’d surprised her friend with her declaration.
“But you’re engaged! Why on earth haven’t you said ‘I love you’ to each other?” “When did Alex finally tell you he loved you, Soph? When he thought he was going to lose you. Just like you’d never said it to him even though you’d told me that Alex was the love of your life.”
“You’re right. I can see your point.”
“Thank you.” Phoebe hoped that would be the end of the conversation about love Somehow she didn’t think it would be though.
“Do you know what this sounds like? It sounds like you and Marco need to sit down and talk about your feelings. A simple discussion and everything will be sorted.”
“If only it were that simple. But it’s not.” “Why isn’t it?”
Phoebe could hear the frustration in her friend’s voice. For the first time in her life, she didn’t know who she was. Over the last year she’d had so many changes and had lost her identity. She’d seen two of her good friends find love and marry. She’d been so caught up in the heady excitement of weddings and babies that she’d grasped at it, even though she hadn’t really been ready for it. The breakup with John had been quickly followed by the death of Mrs. White, the woman who had been her mentor and surrogate mother. For a while there, Marco had been able to make her forget those things. She now needed to deal with all that had happened in her life. Once she had, then she could decide what her future held and if Marco was going to be part of that future or not.
“Because I’ve lost myself, Soph. You said yesterday at your place that when I’m with Marco, I’m different. Which means I’m not being me. I don’t know who I am anymore. I’m not the carefree, good-time girl I used to be. I need to find me, before I can let anyone into my life and be an us.”
Phoebe wasn’t surprised by her friend’s silence. She’d just laid quite a bit of information and inner feelings out there.
Finally Sophie responded. “What do you want to do?”
“I’m going to go away. Somewhere I can be alone with myself and work out what I really want out of life.”
“Do you want to borrow my dad’s house on the coast? I know no one’s there right now, and he’d be more than happy to let you use it.”
The idea of staying at Sophie’s father’s house was appealing. She’d been there a couple of times and knew it backed onto the beach. Walks along the shore would be the perfect way to get her thoughts in order.
“If I say yes, will you promise not to tell Marco where I am if he asks?”
Once again, silence met her request. She could almost hear the inner struggle in Sophie’s mind. “I promise.”
“Fine.” She nodded her head even though her friend couldn’t see her. “I’d like that.
Do you think I can come by in a couple of hours and get the key from you?” “Sure, I’ll call Dad and let him know.”
“Thanks, Soph, I appreciate it.”
“Not a problem—just promise me one thing. You won’t give up on the possibility of getting back together with Marco. I know you don’t see it, but there is something between the two of you. Something so much stronger than what you and John had. I know in my heart he’s the man for you.”
“I’m not going to promise something I’m not sure I can keep. But trust me when I say that I will be doing a lot of soul searching.”
“That’s all I can ask for. I’ll see you soon, Phoebs. Bye.” “Bye.”
Phoebe disconnected the call and put her phone down by her now cold cup of coffee. She had a lot to do if she was going to go away. Fortunately she’d had so much annual leave accrued at the hospital that she had the next two months off. Of course they had been for last minute wedding preparations and a honeymoon, but it didn’t matter what she used the time for now.
She grabbed the cup and threw the contents down the sink. She had a bag to pack and a relaxing time by the beach to look forward to. But before she could do anything she had to send a couple of texts, and it wasn’t going to be a pleasant experience. She quickly typed out a short message to the wedding planner, advising her to cancel the arrangements. When Marco had insisted on her using a planner, she’d initially balked at the idea. Now she was glad. She didn’t fancy ringing all the vendors to cancel orders or bookings. The next text she sent was one of the hardest one she’d ever sent in her life:
Hi Marco,
I wanted to let you know that I’ve contacted the wedding planner and instructed her to cancel all the wedding arrangements. I’m going away for a few days to sort things out.
I’m sorry. Phoebe
* * *
Marco looked at the text message for about the tenth time in the space of an hour. He was tempted to throw the phone at the wall, but that wouldn’t achieve anything. It wouldn’t allay the anger that was his constant companion now. Instead he placed it on the table and walked towards the double glass doors leading out to his balcony. He opened the doors and gazed at the ocean view.
He felt slightly better than he had when he’d knocked on Alex and Sophie’s door a few hours ago. He’d worked out his frustration on the tennis court, beating Alex quite convincingly. His friend had tried to engage him in conversation, but he’d just glared and Alex had known not to push the subject. Sophie had taken one look at him and had given him a hug. No words needed; he knew that he had both their support. And if he needed anything they would be there for him.
He looked back inside, at the phone on the table, and wondered where Phoebe was headed. He could try and call Sophie to see if she knew but he didn’t want to jeopardize their friendship. He walked back into the house and picked up his phone. His fingers moved across the screen and he pulled up the app that would show him where Phoebe was. He was hoping she’d forgotten about the app they’d both downloaded on their phones so they could see where the other person was. It worked well when she had been doing a late shift; he had always felt relieved when he knew she was safely ensconced inside her home. He waited while the program pulled up the map. He could see the little dot on the screen. It showed that she was travelling down the highway. She hadn’t reached her destination yet.
He would give her a couple more hours before checking again. Once he knew where she was, he would give her two days and then he would go after her. As he played his tennis game with Alex he’d come to the conclusion he didn’t want to lose Phoebe. He would do whatever it took to convince her they were meant for each other. Even if it meant opening up and sharing the one secret he’d hidden so far down in him in an effort to pretend that it didn’t exist. But it did exist, and it had to be shared with Phoebe if he wanted any hope of a future with her. If he wanted her to be totally open and honest with him, he had to be open and honest with her. It was hypocritical of him to expect it to be one-sided.
When the time was right he would tell her all about Veronika’s betrayal.
3
Phoebe picked up the towel and rubbed it briskly down her arms before wrapping it around her body. The water had been refreshing, but now that she was out of it, her skin was bubbling with gooseflesh. She sat down on the blanket and gazed out over the ocean. It had been a relaxing two days since she’d arrived. She hadn’t come to any real decisions—she’d just spent the time sleeping and sunbathing and taking the odd swim,
re-energizing her soul and body. Still, a part of her ached, and when she was watching a television show or a movie she found herself rubbing her finger where Marco’s ring had been.
While it had been good to chill out, she knew she couldn’t do it forever. The time had come for her to sit down and think about what she was going to do next.
As the waves rolled in and rushed just as quickly back out, she wished her problems could be so easily solved. How good would it be to throw them into the ocean, and have them swept away by the receding tide, swallowed up and forgotten? She wouldn’t have to think about them again. Unfortunately nothing was that simple.
A shiver c
oursed through her and the thought of a warm shower, followed by curling up on the back patio with her book, had her standing and heading towards the house.
Perhaps a solution to her problems might present itself in her book—and pigs might fly.
She ran the short distance to the house thinking of nothing but her shower. As she shook out the towel and blanket a voice interrupted her peaceful thoughts.
“I was wondering if I was going to have to come and join you on the beach.”
Dumbstruck at seeing Marco standing not three feet away from her, Phoebe opened and closed her mouth a couple of times, trying to form words, but not being able to get anything out.
It has to be a dream, she thought. He can’t possibly be standing in front of me.
She closed her eyes and shook her head, hoping that when she opened them Marco wouldn’t be standing a few feet from her. But his heat was radiating out towards her, luring her into its warm embrace. She counted to five and then opened her eyes again. Marco still stood there. He was real. He looked so gorgeous in his tight fitting white tee and cargo shorts. There was something intrinsically male about him that called out to her. It had always called out to her, from the moment they’d stood side by side at Sophie and Alex’s wedding, but she’d pushed it aside because she was involved with John.
“What are you doing here?” Her words came out softer than she wanted them to be.
To her ears, it almost sounded like she was glad to see him. That she had been waiting for him to show up. Which was so far from the truth it was ridiculous. She wanted to be alone.
Didn’t she?
“I’ve come to spend some time with you.”
It was so simply said, as if it was a given that he was always going to join her. But how did he know where she was? Only one person knew she was here, and she was going to call her and give her a piece of her mind.
How could Sophie do that to her? Sophie was her best friend, not Marco’s. Another thought hit her—maybe it wasn’t Sophie who told Marco where she was, maybe it had been Alex. If it had been Alex then she was sure Sophie would have a few choice words to stay to him.
“I know what you’re thinking,” he drawled. “But don’t blame Sophie or Alex, they didn’t tell me you where here.”
“How did you know I was thinking that?” Phoebe asked, surprised that he had been able to read her so easily. Had he always been able to do that? Perhaps she’d been closed off to how Marco had looked at her. Perhaps he knew her better than she’d thought he did.
He gave a negligent shrug of his shoulders and reached out to touch her cheek softly. “It’s good to see you.”
Her skin tingled beneath his touch. Her body softened and it took everything in her not put her arms around him. That would be the worst possible thing she could do.
She was surprised at his comment though. There were times when they hadn’t seen each other for more than two days, usually when she had had a night shift rotation, though admittedly they had shared texts or phone calls. For him to say those words to her now melted her heart just a little bit. There was no way she was going to let him know she was glad to see him, though.
Phoebe went into defensive mode. She hadn’t come to any decisions about her future.
She didn’t need him trying to influence her.
“I’m not sure I can say the same.” She took a step back. She couldn’t think with him standing so close to her. “But you’ve seen me now, and I’m not curled up in a corner rocking back and forth, so I guess that means you can leave.”
“No, I don’t think so. Now that I’m here I think I’ll stay for a while.”
The early thrill she’d received when he’d said he was glad to see her, left in a hurry with the autocratic way he informed her he was going to stay. It took everything in her power not to scream in frustration. She’d come to this little piece of paradise by the beach to think. To work out what she wanted. The man standing in front of her was the biggest thing she had to think about. The fact that she had been avoiding thinking about things the last couple of days was beside the point. Having him here was going to play havoc with her emotions. Emotions she couldn’t trust. She was acting out of character, going from one emotional extreme to the other. She needed to get her head on straight. For so long she’d led with her heart, and now she needed to lead with her head. It was the only way to protect herself and get what she wanted.
“Well I don’t want you here, Marco. Why can’t you accept that?”
“I believe I told you the night we last saw each other that this wasn’t over.” He waved a hand between the two of them indicating he meant them as a couple. He didn’t have to do that. She knew exactly what he was talking about.
Phoebe clenched her fists in frustration. “So, what did you do, Marco? Did you have me followed? Have you been watching me the whole time I’ve been here?”
She didn’t like to think that he could’ve had her followed. It didn’t seem to fit the person she knew him to be.
“Why don’t you take a shower, and then we can talk about things.”
She was about to object. She didn’t feel comfortable showering knowing he was loitering around the house. Not after the worrying thoughts of him possibly having her watched or followed still fresh in her mind. It was stupid to think those thoughts. In all the time they’d been together he’d shown no signs of having stalker tendencies. Once again she was letting her emotions careen out of control, like a car on slick roads.
Marco held up his hand. “No, don’t argue. You’re freezing and your lips are turning a fetching shade of purple. Plus I don’t want you to get sick. Please go get warm.”
He once again moved closer to her and Phoebe held her breath, waiting to see if he would take her in his arms. A secret part of her craved for him to hold her again. As if sensing her inner war, he touched her cheek once again.
He then moved his hand and smoothed a thumb across her forehead, attempting to erase the worry lines away she was sure were showing. “I know what you’re thinking, and I’m not sure where it’s coming from. But let me allay your fears—I didn’t have you followed. I’m not that sort of man.” He dropped his arm and took a step back, giving her space to move. “I’ll tell you how I found you after you’ve got warm again.”
Trying to form words was impossible, as her teeth had started chattering. The temperature had dropped. The wind had picked up and the sun had gone behind a cloud; it was as if nature knew the situation between her and Marco was serious.
“Fine, but I’m only agreeing because I’m cold, not because I want you here.” She brushed past him, knowing that he would follow her into the house. Once she got inside she raced up the stairs. All she wanted to do was to get showered and changed and then back to Marco so that she could get him to leave. Only then would she be able to get her peaceful retreat back. And finally get to a place of happiness in her life.
* * *
The smell of bacon and toast wafted up to Phoebe as she made her way down the stairs. It seemed that Marco had made himself at home, and he was preparing one of her favorite sandwiches—a BLT. Her stomach grumbled in appreciation of the aromas. She didn’t think a way to a woman’s heart was through her stomach, she thought the saying was only appropriate to men. But at that moment, him remembering her favorite food was not making her goal of remaining impartial to him easy.
She walked into the kitchen and appreciated Marco’s fluid movements as he dealt with the bacon just as the toast popped up. It brought back memories of the other times he’d cooked for her. She had to admit that they’d had a good relationship. She just felt she didn’t have what he needed; that she would let him down somehow. As he hadn’t shared much with her about his past, she didn’t think her assumptions were far off. She pushed those thoughts aside—going over it all wasn’t going to get her anywhere. She was who she was, and even though he said things weren’t over between them, if he couldn’t share things with her, then there was no point moving forwar
d.
“I see you’ve made yourself at home,” she said drily as she sat down at one of the stools at the breakfast bar. “Just don’t get comfortable, because you’ll be leaving in a couple of hours.”
Marco didn’t answer; he just placed a plate with two bacon, lettuce, and tomato sandwiches in front of her. “Eat, we’ll talk soon.”
She wanted to push the plate away and demand they talk right then, but she was starving. The apple she’d had before she’d gone to the beach was so long ago. A quick look at the time glowing on the microwave showed it was close to midday. She had been at the beach a long time.
“I know what you’re trying to do,” Phoebe said around a mouthful of food. “But it won’t work.”
“What am I trying do?” Marco asked as he sat beside her with his own plate. Suddenly the spacious breakfast bar shrunk in size.
“You’re dragging out having our little chat, hoping I’ll change my mind and let you stay. But it won’t work.” She put her sandwich back on her plate. “I need to be by myself, Marco.”
* * *
Marco looked at the woman beside him. Her damp hair was drying in soft curls around her shoulders. His hands itched to reach out and touch the silky blonde strands. It had taken all his willpower not to sweep her up in his arms and kiss her when she’d walked onto the back patio. Her bikini had showcased the body he adored. If he closed his eyes the image of her as she wandered up from the beach would play like a movie. A movie he was happy to sit and watch over and over and over again.
He knew he wasn’t going to leave, no matter what she said or wanted. He was determined to fight for her.
“Why do you need to be by yourself?”
She hesitated as if she was trying to work out what to say. Was she only giving lip service to him? Was she expecting John to come and see her? Had he already visited Phoebe? He clenched his fist at the thought of another man touching her. Phoebe was his and he didn’t share.
Seducing Phoebe: Lovers Unmasked: Book 3 Page 4