by Cara Malone
But Mira had also convinced her to give this a shot – just because every other time she reached out to someone, she was struck down, and all of the empirical evidence was not in her favor, didn’t mean that Ruby wasn’t her one in a million.
So Max had gone home after dinner on Sunday night and shuffled through all of the assorted notes she’d taken since the beginning of grad school, mixed in with all of her class notes. She’d decided on one possible way to win Ruby over – one way that seemed to work when everything else failed – the grand gesture.
This wasn’t something she’d ever observed in real life because it was always an intimate moment in TV and books, but Max felt like she had derived enough samples from fiction to pull one off. If this didn’t work, then the heroines just weren’t meant to end up together. So she sent Ruby an email and made it look as if she sent it to the entire group. She lured her to the study room – the only premise she could think of that might stand a chance at working. She was planning to apologize profusely for that slammed door and proceed to the grand gesture.
Max was just opening her mouth to begin, having gathered her nerves, when Ruby said, “Max, I’m so sorry.”
These words, despite their content, completely deflated Max, taking away all of her edge.
“For what?” She asked, feeling dumbstruck.
“I never should have said what I did,” Ruby said, and it surprised Max to hear that she was on the verge of tears. “And I never meant for you to see me like that with, umm, that girl on Saturday.”
“Megan,” Max supplied, and Ruby gave her a confused look. She would have no clue how Max knew about her. Max took a deep breath –it was now or never, and they had to start with a clean slate, as risky as it was to come clean. “I read a few of her texts when you came over after your yoga class. She’s your girlfriend, right?”
“Ex,” Ruby said, emphasizing the word strongly. Max took that as a good sign, relaxing slightly. “She came to visit this weekend and I thought we could patch things up, but the moment she arrived I realized that was the opposite of what I wanted.”
“Oh?” Max was trying not to sound too invested in this response.
“Max, I hate that you think I’m the type of person who would sleep with you just to get something I want,” Ruby said. “That’s not me at all. I would gladly hand the GLiSS presidency over to you if that would prove to you-”
“No,” Max said, cutting her off. “I was being stupid when I accused you, and I was angry when I had no right to be. I saw those texts and it broke my heart to think you belonged to someone else, so I lashed out. I told you to take the presidency because I wanted you to have it and I wanted you to be happy. I still do.”
This was the hardest part – the part that required her to speak from the heart and actually share all of the insecurities inside of her that she’d been keeping below the surface for years.
“I should have been honest with you from the start. Ruby, I should have told you that the first moment I saw you, my heart skipped a beat. I should have told you that every time we talked, my feelings for you grew deeper. I’ve never met anyone so incredible as you – you’re beautiful, but I’m most attracted to your intelligence, your quick wit, your kindness, and your ability to find a way to connect with anyone in a room – even me,” Max said with a self-deprecating laugh. She took a gulping breath and went on. “I’m sure you’ve figured out by now that those qualities are basically the complete opposite of who I am – I’m awkward and blunt and a lot of people say I’m hard to get along with. I’ll probably never change because lord knows I’ve been trying for the past twenty-three years, and all I’ve learned is that no one wants to put forth the effort to love someone who requires as much work as I do.”
“Max-”
“So I told you that I didn’t want that,” she pressed on. “I told you that I just wanted something casual because I was sure you wouldn’t want me any other way. Then when I read those texts from Megan, I let them prove that I was right all along. I got angry and I lashed out, and I’m so sorry. I assure you, all of that was really directed at myself for not being good enough for you.”
“You are good enough-” Ruby tried to interject, her voice choked with emotion, but Max held up her hand to stop her.
“Please, let me get through this,” she said. She wasn’t used to talking this much, and if she didn’t get it all out at once, she’d never finish. “Ruby, we don’t know each other yet - not really. We know each other’s bodies, and I think we know each other’s hearts after everything that has happened in the past few weeks, but I would love a chance to really get to know you, and I hope you want to know me better, too.”
Max turned toward the windows lining the study room and waved her hand. Mira came out of the stacks where she was hiding, along with Lydia and Maureen. They were the only people Max could rally on such short notice, but they liked Ruby – everyone liked Ruby – and they’d been happy to take twenty minutes out of their Monday night to help Max.
As the three of them came into the room, each of them holding a dozen red roses and a few identical, paper-wrapped packages, Max glanced over at Ruby and saw that her expression was somewhere between awe and mortification. The grand gesture was well underway now, though, so all she could do was hope that it swung toward awe in the end.
Max picked Ruby’s hand up from the table and said, “I would be honored if you’d grant me a do-over. If I could rewind time, I’d press play at the moment you walked up to Mira and I after the first GLiSS meeting. I would have stopped arguing about that stupid desert island icebreaker and introduced myself to you properly. I would have told you how much of a goddess you are, on the slim chance that you didn’t already know, and I would have asked you out right then and there.
“Considering the fact that time travel has yet to be perfected, I asked these three to help me make a better second impression,” Max said.
Mira shot Max an approving look, then she set down her bouquet in front of Ruby, along with three rectangular packages, all identical in size and shape. Lydia came next, adding her flowers and two more packages to the table, and then Maureen, setting down another dozen roses and four more packages. Then the three of them filed back out of the room on Max’s instruction, but she noticed out of the corner of her eye that they didn’t stray far – they were watching the outcome from the edge of the bookshelves.
“Ruby Satterwhite,” Max said solemnly, “would you go on a date with me?”
And then she held her breath. It felt like an eternity, during which time her mind raced and her heart thudded in her chest and she prepared herself for the worst.
Then a broad smile spread over Ruby’s face and she said, “Of course I will. But what is all of this, Max?”
She was looking self-consciously down at the packages stacked in front of her, and at the roses practically spilling off the table.
Max shrugged and said as color rose into her cheeks, “A grand gesture.”
Ruby laughed. “I can see that. The flowers are beautiful, but what’s in all the boxes?”
“Open them,” Max said, picking up the first one and handing it to Ruby.
She tore the butcher paper off to reveal a DVD copy of Imagine Me and You. She looked back to Max with a puzzled look.
“I used the list we made while we were at the public library and bought you a copy of every one of the DVDs on the ‘Greatest Hits in Cinema According to Ruby Satterwhite’ list,” Max said. “I thought if our date goes well and you decide to keep me, we can work our way through them. And if you want to cut me loose, then at least you get copies of your favorite movies out of the whole ordeal.”
“Oh stop,” Ruby said, looking pleased and embarrassed and flushed all at once.
She was definitely leaning toward awe and away from mortification, and Max breathed a silent sigh of relief. Ruby pulled Max across the table into a kiss, and in the background Max could hear their audience cheering.
When they pul
led out of the kiss, Ruby was looking at her with those stunning galaxy eyes, and she said, “This is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me. And for the record, I think you’re the one giving me a second chance.”
“Let’s just wipe the slate for simplicity’s sake,” Max said, and Ruby laughed and kissed her again.
Max felt more nervous than was probably called for as she walked up to the second floor of Founders Hall. She was wearing a pair of navy slacks that she’d meticulously ironed, plus a pair of brown leather oxfords with a matching belt, and a light blue collared shirt with a bow tie that she sincerely hoped wasn’t overreaching. In her hands she held a single red rose, a nod to the three bouquets that were still in bloom on Ruby’s coffee table, and her hair was blown back into the most perfect pompadour that a half-hour of styling – and a consultation from Mira – could create.
“I look okay, right?” She’d asked anxiously as she looked at herself in the small mirror above the bathroom sink.
Mira had straightened her tie and said with a grin, “Don’t worry, you look fucking hot.”
“You don’t think the bow tie is a bit much?” Max asked, still not convinced. She turned back to the mirror.
“If it is, then let her take it off of you,” Mira said, then added with a wink, “And if you get lucky maybe she’ll use it to drag you over to the bed.”
“Stop,” Max said, blushing. Then she picked up the rose and with one final deep breath, went to pick Ruby up for their very first date.
She answered the door in a pair of four-inch black ankle boots that accentuated the curves of her legs in black stockings. She was wearing a short black dress with a tight skirt trimmed in gold, and a cream blazer on top. Ruby looked absolutely stunning, with her hair straightened into long, dark ringlets and her plump lips painted red to match the rose that Max held in her hand.
“Wow,” she said, temporarily losing the filter between her brain and her mouth. “Bombshell.”
Ruby chuckled and looked down at her feet, then looked up at Max through her long eyelashes in a way that made her feel like something deep in her core was melting in the most delightful way. “You clean up pretty nice yourself.”
“Nah,” Max said, trying to keep from reddening her cheeks again. “Oh, this is for you.”
She extended the rose to Ruby, and suddenly it felt so insufficient. Why in the hell had she decided that a single bud was better than a full bouquet?
“It’s just kind of a token,” she hurried to add. “You know, because of the bouquets the other day-”
“Oh, I get it,” Ruby said, bringing the flower to her nose. “It’s perfect. Let me just go put it in the vase with the others.”
“Okay,” Max said, standing in the doorway while Ruby disappeared into her apartment. Max rubbed her palms over her thighs anxiously, hoping that they weren’t getting clammy. Even though she’d already been with Ruby multiple times, the prospect of going on a date with her felt somehow more intimate than anything they’d done so far, and she couldn’t shake the fear that Ruby might not actually like her.
Before she could go too far down the rabbit hole of anxiety, though, Ruby reappeared with a small purse slung over her shoulder and asked, “Where are we going?”
“There’s a great Mexican restaurant that Mira and I love,” Max said. “I figured you probably haven’t been there yet since it’s on the other side of town, and I wanted to take you somewhere new.”
“That sounds great,” Ruby said as she shut her door, and as they headed down the hall, she threaded her arm through Max’s in a move that was so effortless, Max was sure she could never have pulled it off in a million years. She was thankful that Ruby had, though, and she was feeling even better when Ruby glanced sideways at her and said, “I like the bow tie. It’s a good look for you.”
Max had borrowed Mira’s car for the evening, a large Buick that drove more like a pair of La-Z-Boys on wheels than a car, and they floated through the streets of Granville toward the restaurant. Max navigated expertly through the city traffic, and Ruby felt lost almost the entire way there. She’d been able to pick out the street where the public library was, but otherwise she hadn’t had much chance to explore Granville beyond the shops on the perimeter of the university.
“You’ve lived here your whole life?” She asked.
“Yeah,” Max said. “I grew up in a suburb about ten minutes outside of the city.”
“Your parents still live around here?”
“Mm hmm, in the same house I lived in all my life,” Max answered. They were weaving through the densest part of the city now, where the roads felt narrow because tall buildings scraped the sky on either side of the car.
“How come you live on campus instead of commuting?” Ruby asked, and Max laughed at this question. Ruby realized that for all of the drama they’d had in the past few weeks, she really didn’t know all that much about Max, but she was excited to find out more.
“That was actually my parents’ decision,” she said. “They thought if I lived on campus I’d be more immersed in the college culture and it would be easier to make friends and socialize. It only took four years to prove them right.”
Ruby laughed, putting her hand on Max’s thigh across the center console. She watched the color creep into Max’s face, and inched her hand just a little bit higher.
The restaurant was dark, and the booth where they were seated felt secluded and romantic. A tea light candle burned on the table between them and Ruby slipped the toe of her boot up over Max’s calf beneath the table as she picked up her menu.
“What’s good here?” she asked casually as she observed Max trying not to squirm beneath her touch. She shouldn’t tease her so much, or move so fast, but it was hard to fight the carnal urges that bubbled up in her whenever she was close to Max since she’d already given in to them so many times before.
“Umm,” Max said, slipping one finger beneath the collar of her shirt to loosen her bow tie, “I always get the chile rellenos, but I’m not a terribly adventurous eater. I know Mira prefers the fajitas.”
“They both sound good,” Ruby said, taking her foot away from Max as the waiter approached and promising herself that she would behave, at least until the dessert course.
Max had no first-hand anecdotal evidence to base her conclusion on, but by the time dinner was over, she decided that the date was going well. She’d been able to keep up the pace of conversation the entire time, thanks to some small talk coaching from Mira, and Ruby had gushed over the flavor of her food.
She’d chosen something that Max never tasted before, an enchilada dish loaded with cheese and sour cream, and then allowed Max to take a few bites from her plate. It was pretty good, but not better than Max’s chile rellenos.
They talked about the classes they were taking, discounting Information Theory of course because they were both enrolled in that one. (“Professor McDermott is such a monotonous speaker,” Ruby had remarked, to which Max could neither agree nor disagree – she’d spent the majority of her time in that class thinking about Ruby.) Max told Ruby about her sociology degree, and how making a formal study of human behavior helped her make sense of the world around her. Then Ruby told Max about her experience of being the only openly lesbian kid in her stuffy private school, and how the books she read with gay characters helped her figure out what was going on in her heart.
“That’s why I think I want to work with kids when I graduate,” Ruby said. “I’d love to do some kind of outreach between the school system and the public library to help kids get access to a more diverse range of books.”
“That’s really noble of you,” Max said, then added with a laugh, “I would love a job in an office somewhere in the bowels of the library where I don’t have to collaborate with anyone. It gets exhausting trying to figure people out all the time.”
“I guess it’s true what they say,” Ruby said with a laugh. “Opposites attract.”
“Yes, that is something tha
t they say,” Max said. “But who is they, anyway?”
Ruby laughed again, and then she asked seriously, “Am I exhausting?”
“Honestly?” Max asked.
“Yeah.”
“You were at the beginning,” Max said. “And sometimes you still are. But the more I get to know someone, the better I am at reading them - figuring out their facial expressions and their figures of speech. I can read Mira about ninety percent of the time, and my parents about eighty-five. You’re probably sitting at sixty percent right now.”
“So I won’t always be exhausting?” Ruby asked, hopeful.
“Most of the time, I find you quite invigorating,” Max said, and she nudged Ruby’s foot beneath the table in a mirror of the gesture Ruby had extended to Max when they sat down. “And in any case, you’re well worth the trouble.”
Ruby smiled at Max, and in the warm light from the tea candle flickering between them, she was absolutely stunning. She asked, “Do you want to get out of here?”
“You want me to take you home?” Max asked.
“You could say that,” Ruby said. “But you’d better be coming back with me. We have a lot of movies to work through.”
“Okay,” Max said, getting out of the booth and holding out her hand to Ruby. She took it, standing up, and Max pulled her into an embrace. They shared their first kiss as a couple, and it was like nothing Max had ever felt before.
Epilogue
Max swam up out of a deep sleep to the jarring sound of her alarm clock going off on the bedside table. She leaned across Ruby, who let out a plaintive moan at the sound, and slapped the alarm into silence.
“What time is it?” She asked as Max wrapped her arms around her and pressed her body against Ruby’s. Ruby put her hands up to rub the sleep from her eyes, and then as she registered Max’s hips brushing against hers, she let out another moan, this one taking on the purring quality of a cat. She pressed her ass against Max’s hips and whined, “It’s still dark. Do you really have a class so early this semester?”