Henry hadn’t interrupted her, but now he felt he’d better explain himself completely. “I have no intention of breaking her heart. I want to court her.”
Miss Abbot was searching his gaze, trying to determine if he meant what he said. So he added, “Julia captured my attention from the first moment I saw her. I’ve felt … different since I met her. Happier, I think.”
“I haven’t noticed any difference. You always seem happy enough, Henry, but it’s just putting on a good show.”
Henry realized he would have to explain himself further. “I think it’s been more than that for a while now. I’ve been living my life and acting happy and at some point—probably when I met Julia—I stopped acting. Julia’s had my attention since she arrived, but each time we meet she captures more of my … interest.”
“Are you certain, Henry? Have you really turned that corner?” Miss Abbot asked with hopeful concern.
“I’ve been telling myself I was miserable for so long, but I’m just not anymore. I hope you don’t think I’m terribly inconsistent.”
Miss Abbot wasn’t looking annoyed anymore; more than anything she just seemed surprised. Henry was relieved when she said, “Not at all, Henry, I’m so pleased you realized it before this opportunity passed you by.”
Henry did want Miss Abbot’s approval, but he also wanted his feelings validated if possible. It was a risk to ask, but he wanted her true opinion. “But your situation was the same as mine and you’ve never entertained the thought of moving on. Do you think I’m being unfaithful to Miss Corey’s memory?”
“Our situations weren’t precisely the same, Henry. My Charles claimed me as his when we were quite young. When I lost him, I lost more than my heart; it was practically my whole identity. I wasn’t able to figure out who I was without him until it was much too late for me to think of courting again. I know you truly loved Miss Corey, but you only knew her for two months. I’ve never even heard you use her Christian name. Except for her brother’s visit now, you haven’t seen her family. I don’t mean to say you weren’t as devastated as I at the death of your fiancée, just that the shorter duration of your love perhaps means a shorter time for your heart to heal.”
It had been some time since he and Miss Abbot had had a discussion this serious. Henry wondered if she was just trying to make him feel better about loving again, or if she truly believed what she said. It made sense to him and he felt the truth of his situation, not just in comparison to hers but in how his heart felt now. Henry let out a breath and felt some tension slip away. “So you think it would be suitable then? My courting Julia?”
“It’s not my permission you need, but I’ll give it just the same. I’m so pleased that it is my sweet cousin you’ve set your heart on. I can see her good qualities that put her above all the other girls, I just didn’t think you could or would.”
It was more encouragement than he had expected from Miss Abbot, who was usually so stoic. But it didn’t necessarily make his path any easier. “As I said, her feelings are hurt at the moment and I think she’s avoiding me, so it might take a little time.”
Miss Abbot narrowed her eyes now and looked at him curiously, “How did you hurt her feelings?”
“I’d rather not say …” Henry hesitated a moment debating what he should admit to Miss Abbot. “Well, I’ve had some trouble making my mind up about what I really want.” He knew now what he really wanted though, and he continued, “But now I know for certain I want to court Julia and hopefully convince her to marry me.” As soon as he said the words he felt his heart pick up speed. He had thought about courting her, hopefully being engaged to her, and of course he had thought about kissing her, but the thought of Julia as his wife made him catch his breath.
Miss Abbot looked very much like she was holding back a smile. It was enough for Henry to know she was pleased by his interest in Julia, but all she said was, “Why are you telling me all this? Shouldn’t you be telling Julia?”
“I should, but I can’t find an opportunity,” Henry said, with a return of his earlier frustration. “Every time we are in each other’s company, there are too many people around. I need to speak to her privately, which, I suppose, is my reason for telling you my intentions. Would you help me? I’m sure as soon as I can explain all this to Julia, I can convince her to stop avoiding me.”
Miss Abbot gave Henry a thoughtful look. “Very well, let me see … Perhaps something out of the ordinary would be best.” It was silent for a few moments as they both tried to think of any unusual activity they could do in Barrington. Finally Miss Abbot’s face lightened as she said, “A picnic to Blackdown Hills might be the very thing. It’s a bit of a distance, but if we have a fine day, that won’t matter. I believe my London guests have lacked amusements during their stay here and I should have thought of this before. I’m not sure they’ve been content with our small village life.”
“Has Julia seemed unhappy here?” Henry hadn’t thought to pay close attention. She had mentioned to him before that she didn’t miss London, but that seemed to do more with her mother than the actual place. Perhaps she had been bored here as well. He hadn’t thought to ask.
“I didn’t think so before her family arrived; she always occupies herself so well that we get along famously.” Henry smiled a little at that. He knew Miss Abbot enjoyed a fair amount of solitude. “But she has seemed less content lately. I had just assumed that she wasn’t pleased with her mother and sister here, but perhaps she’s been moping over you.”
Henry certainly hoped so. He didn’t like the idea that she had been sad because of him, but he’d love to be the one to cheer her up. “Blackdown Hills sounds perfect. In fact,” he said as he remembered picnics in the past, “if I remember correctly, there are quite a few easy paths that could lead away to privacy.”
Miss Abbot gave him a knowing look, but he didn’t mind that she knew what he was up to; it had been her idea in the first place.
They finished planning out the excursion, agreeing that Miss Abbot should be the one to sponsor it. Henry’s only dissatisfaction with the plan was that they would wait a week to go. He understood that it would take some planning and Miss Abbot intended to invite another neighbor or two, but Henry wanted Julia to forgive him already. It would be another long week.
A
Chapter 19
Days before the planned picnic, Henry found himself in Julia’s company again at the home of his neighbors, the Trevons. In his hopes of spending time alone with her, he found himself in gatherings like this more often. Over the last few weeks he had shown up wherever he thought she might be, accepting every invitation. Of course, as was usual, she was barely civil, just speaking to him enough to avoid any awkward scenes or questions, which made Henry more impatient for Tuesday’s excursion to Blackdown Hills.
Perhaps he could find an opportunity to speak to her this evening. He let himself imagine briefly how he would behave tonight if Julia had already forgiven him. Instead of casting tentative glances her way and being ignored, he would catch her eye and share a secret smile. The thought of his mother intercepting such a look still made him wince, but even if she did discover his feelings for Julia, he would be better off than in his current state.
When the gentlemen joined the ladies again in the drawing room after dinner, Henry watched to see how his evening would go. Henry knew that Mr. Trevon strongly preferred an evening of cards to anything else, but his wife detested cards and almost never lost an argument. He hoped that the decision could be made without a disagreement. He felt enough tension in the air from Julia without having to witness an argument. Mr. and Mrs. Trevon surprised him, however. Mrs. Trevon called for the attention of the group and said, “Mr. Trevon and I couldn’t decide what our evening entertainment should be. So we have decided to let you, our guests, help us decide. We are going to put it to a vote.” There was a ripple of murmurs through their small group at the announcement.
Mr. Trevon cleared his throat. “Your choices a
re: dancing,” he said the word with utter disdain, leaving no doubt about his opinion of that activity; then his expression lightened and his tone became persuasive as he said, “or a wonderful evening filled with the intrigue of exciting card play.” The guests were all amused at his tactic, but paid him no more attention as they talked among themselves about which they would choose. Mrs. Trevon, who had rolled her eyes at her husband’s attempt at wit, called for the vote. When she said, “Those in favor of dancing raise your hand,” Henry’s hand went up with several others. He would love the opportunity to dance with Julia and was already anticipating the unexpected closeness. He wasn’t sure he would get the chance, as he noticed that Julia did not raise her hand for dancing. But when Mrs. Trevon asked who was in favor of cards, her hand still stayed down, and he wondered what she was thinking. Henry was pleased when dancing instead of cards won the vote.
Henry helped push aside furniture as a maid went to fetch the Trevons’ daughter from the nursery to come and play for them. Mr. Trevon refused to let his fifteen-year-old daughter come out for another year at least, but she would be allowed to join the adults in the useful capacity of providing the music.
Henry was startled when a voice at his shoulder said, “Hello, Mr. Chamberlain.”
He turned and saw Miss Trevon, who had come into the room behind him. She was getting quite tall and Henry thought that Mr. Trevon’s efforts to keep her a little girl weren’t working. “Hello, Miss Trevon,” he replied with a smile. “It seems we are dependent on you for our entertainment this evening.”
“Yes, you need me.” She seemed to love the idea and her smile got bigger as she said, “And for my payment, I only expect your undying devotion.”
Henry hesitated with a reply. Was young Miss Trevon trying to flirt with him? His discomfort increased as he looked down at her wide eyes staring up at him. Yes, her father’s efforts to keep her from growing up were decidedly not working. He took a step back in reflex and muttered, “I’m sure we all appreciate your playing very much.”
Her face fell a little, but she continued to smile up at him until her mother called her to come take her seat at the pianoforte. Henry could only feel relieved.
Mr. and Mrs. Trevon had the perfect group gathered for dancing. Once his mother and Miss Abbot said their intentions were not to dance, they had equal numbers of men and women. It couldn’t have been more ideal, except that while Henry had been distracted with Miss Trevon’s arrival, he had missed his opportunity to ask Julia to dance. In fact, Miss Clifton was the only woman still free. He approached her and offered his hand, and they joined the other pairs in the center of the room.
They began to move up the dance with the other couples and Henry saw that Julia was dancing with Jonathan. It reminded him of the flirting he had witnessed between the two of them and he resolved to dance with Julia next. He wondered why Julia gave Jonathan as much attention as she did. When he listened to their conversations, everything she said sounded so uninspired, as if she were responding to him from a script. It was obvious that she was pretending to enjoy flirting with him. He wondered if it was obvious to everyone else. Jonathan seemed to think their flirting might mean something. His mother had even remarked in the carriage today that Jonathan might be forming an attachment. He sincerely hoped his mother was wrong about that, just like she was with so many other things.
His preoccupation made him miss what Miss Clifton was saying, so he asked, “I beg your pardon. What did you say?”
She should have been annoyed that he ignored her, but she just smiled brightly. “I said, this dance is so fast, I’m already feeling warm. I’ll probably want to step outside to cool off after this.”
Henry knew she wanted him to offer to accompany her, and normally he would, but he planned to dance with Julia next. “Perhaps you have a fan … ,” he began to say, but something about dancing with Miss Clifton reminded him that he had never danced with Julia, because she had promised not to. In fact, it might have even been Miss Clifton she had made her promise to. He looked up at Julia again, his hope of dancing with her this evening fading.
“No, I didn’t bring a fan this evening. I think it will have to be fresh air to revive me.”
Even though he knew his mother would take note of it, Henry didn’t see a way around it, and so, suppressing a sigh, he offered, “I would be happy to escort you to the garden, Miss Clifton.”
“Oh, thank you for thinking of that, Mr. Chamberlain. You are too kind.”
Henry wasn’t feeling “too kind.” This evening wasn’t any different than so many other evening parties he had attended, but the attention he received from young ladies had never bothered him before. Tonight though, the attention from Miss Trevon and Miss Clifton had been frustrating. He felt ready to be done with this ridiculous game of careful avoidance he had been playing. Being with Julia would be just the thing to protect him. With her by his side, ambitious young women would leave him alone. Henry was more determined than ever to speak to her this evening. Maybe after he convinced her to forgive him, she would break that promise she had made so many weeks ago and they could have their first dance. The anticipation of it brought a smile back to his face.
A
Julia watched Henry leave with Miss Clifton and berated herself for ever falling for his charms, but in the next moment she congratulated herself for not tagging foolishly after him once again.
It was so ridiculous to watch Miss Trevon, a mere girl from the nursery, as taken with him as anyone. And he responded to her just the same as to every devoted female—a smile, kind words, a touch of humor—just enough to let her spin a fantasy that she was different somehow and had captured his heart. Then Miss Clifton had showed how truly pathetic she was by refusing to dance with Mr. Hibbert and Mr. Trevon, keeping her gaze fastened on Henry across the room. Because of Miss Clifton’s scheming, Henry didn’t have any choice whether or not he danced with her. So it was Miss Clifton’s turn now to receive Henry’s momentary affection and Julia was glad she wasn’t in line for a turn anymore.
Julia had danced with Mr. Corey for the first set and she was asked to dance now by Mr. Hibbert. They stood at the end of the line of couples and Miss Trevon began to play. Julia couldn’t stop her gaze from darting to the door where Henry and Miss Pathetic had disappeared, but they didn’t return.
His disappearance with Miss Pathetic reminded her of the conversation earlier this evening. When the gentlemen had withdrawn after dinner, Martha and Lady Chamberlain had led the conversation in the drawing room. The discussion had begun with Shakespeare. Mrs. Trevon had brought it up saying, “My favorite of Shakespeare’s plays is Much Ado About Nothing. I do enjoy the comedies so much more than the tragedies.”
Martha agreed wholeheartedly with her and said, “Especially all the misunderstandings in love. Those divert me the most.” She chuckled and, turning to Lady Chamberlain, said, “Do you remember when Henry was young and fell in love with his friend’s governess?”
“It was his cousin’s governess,” Lady Chamberlain corrected. She went on to recount the story with enthusiasm for the subject. “Henry was only ten when he fell in love with Miss Simpson, and she, in turn, was in love with the cook’s son, who probably had never thought of her before. Henry decided to declare his love in a letter. After writing it out once, he recopied it in his nicest writing and left it under her door.” She paused a moment with a fond look of remembrance on her face. “The note wasn’t signed, so Miss Simpson came to her own conclusion that it was the cook’s son who had sent it. Poor Henry was the one who spotted them in the garden sharing a kiss and his little heart was broken.”
“It probably improved his character,” Martha had replied. “It must have been the first time in his life things didn’t go his way and he had to decide whether to accept defeat or try harder to pursue what he wanted.” Julia had looked up to see Martha’s eyes on her.
Lady Chamberlain had looked a bit confused by this. “He didn’t pursue her; he was dej
ected for a few days, but then he became interested in archery.”
“It must not have been true love then, if he decided not to pursue her,” Martha had replied.
Thinking about that conversation, Julia was more convinced than ever that Henry had only ever fallen in love once, and that was with Miss Corey. Every other passing infatuation was just a distraction for him.
Julia realized that she had spent almost her entire dance with Mr. Hibbert in silence. She looked at him now and realized his attention was not on her, but on the young Miss Trevon at the pianoforte. Perhaps their group was more like Shakespeare’s comedy than she had realized.
Henry returned by the time the dance ended and Julia’s eyes followed him as he bowed to Miss Clifton in farewell, then turned around and made his way directly to her.
When he was standing in front of her he asked, “Miss North, will you not dance with me?”
Julia noticed his emphasis and was confused by the question. Was he asking her to dance? “You want to dance this set with me?” she clarified.
Henry looked out at the couples arranging themselves for the next dance. “I remember from the last time I asked you to dance, you refused because of a promise. I assume you still want to keep your promise, so I am asking that if you will not dance with me, perhaps we could again observe the dance together?”
“I suppose.” Julia knew her reply was less than enthusiastic, but she actually was relieved that she wouldn’t have to dance with Henry. It had been many weeks since that dance at Martock Priory when she had refused to dance with him because of the ridiculous promise she had made to Miss Clifton and her friends. She couldn’t remember if she had promised to never dance with Henry or if it had just been for that night. Either way, she was glad Henry assumed she would refuse to dance with him.
To Suit a Suitor Page 16