Julia was trying her best to figure out what Lady Chamberlain meant. Feeling bewildered, but trying to hide it, she glanced at Martha. She was smiling too, a smile of clear understanding. What had she missed? She turned her gaze to Henry and found his expression serious. No, not serious, it was intent. He was watching her closely, searching her gaze. Julia only felt confusion and was sure that must be written clearly across her face.
Julia knew that somehow the other three knew something she did not, and she couldn’t pretend that she understood. Turning back to Lady Chamberlain, she asked, “I’m sorry, Lady Chamberlain, but I’m confused. You seem to be discussing some wonderful event that I haven’t heard about yet. I’d love to congratulate you on your happy news, only I don’t know what it is.” She gave an apologetic smile for her ignorance.
Lady Chamberlain’s face fell a little. “Oh, it’s your news I’m so happy about, but perhaps—” she broke off and looked at Henry. “Have I said too much?”
Julia noticed that Henry hadn’t spoken since she entered the room. Even now there was a long pause before he said, “No, Mother, you haven’t said too much.” He looked back at Julia and she felt her heart leap when his green eyes met hers. Was there a chance that her stubborn refusal to trust him hadn’t completely driven him away?
Julia’s thoughts were interrupted by Martha saying, “Lady Chamberlain, won’t you show me your rose garden?”
“Yes!” she exclaimed, far too enthusiastically. “Let’s go look at the roses.” Then to Henry she said, “Will you keep Julia company while we are in the garden? We’ll return shortly—” she began, but then correcting herself, said, “or rather, as long as it takes to see all the roses.”
Before Lady Chamberlain left the room she turned back in the doorway and said, “Julia, I must say again how glad I am you’ve come. It was so generous of you to leave London and stay with your cousin during these months she needed you. Such a selfless, kind young woman was exactly what I had been hoping for. I couldn’t be happier that you’ve noticed the same qualities in my Henry.”
Julia couldn’t possibly reply to that. She was suddenly overcome by embarrassment and couldn’t look anywhere but at her feet. She had been trying so hard for the last two months to make sure that Martha and Lady Chamberlain didn’t know how she felt about Henry. Their behavior this morning, especially Lady Chamberlain’s, indicated that they already knew. Had her feelings for Henry been so obvious that Lady Chamberlain had jumped to a wrong conclusion? If that was the case, Henry would be more annoyed with her than ever. He had worn a serious expression on his face since she had entered the room. Julia looked up from the corner of her eye and glanced at Henry to try to gauge his mood. From their previous experience, she was sure that the reprimand for giving his mother the wrong impression would be kind and he would try to hide his annoyance. Henry stood and looked down at her. Julia was surprised to see that his expression wasn’t annoyed at all; instead, he looked rather nervous.
But he couldn’t be feeling that way any more than she was. The longer he waited to speak, the more certain she became that a reprimand for misleading his mother again was imminent. “I’m sorry,” she said, jumping up. “I don’t know why your mother thinks there is something between us. If I gave her that impression, it was a mistake. I … I didn’t mean to. I’ll explain when she comes back and … and hopefully she’ll understand. I promise I didn’t say anything.”
Julia still stared at the carpet as she paced, embarrassed of her stammering. But at the sound of Henry’s voice, she looked up. “I know you didn’t say anything to my mother.” He paused and Julia saw him nervously swallow. “I did.”
Julia couldn’t comprehend for a moment. It seemed the last thing Henry would ever do and she felt betrayed that he would have so little regard for her feelings. “Why would you do that? Why would you ever tell your mother that I have feelings for you?”
“I didn’t. I told her I have feelings for you.” He paused and Julia noticed again his nervousness as he rubbed his hand along his jaw, then once through his hair, and finally folded his arms as if to keep his hands still. “I’m afraid she just assumed that you would feel the same way. She’s my mother, after all, and she thinks everyone loves me as much as she does.”
Julia just watched him warily for a few moments. His mother wasn’t wrong. If Henry declared his feelings for any young lady, it was inevitable that she would be in love with him too. But did Henry truly feel that way toward her? Julia felt hope within her, which caused her stomach to drop and then swoop up into her chest so that she couldn’t speak. Henry had told his mother! Did that mean what she thought it meant? She just wished she could open her mouth to ask him.
Henry was the one pacing now and Julia followed him with her eyes as he explained, “I wanted my mother to know. I want everyone to know. My mother said she would be discreet, but she’ll announce it to everyone, of course. I would be surprised if the entire household hasn’t already been told.”
Julia was trying to swallow back the lump in her throat, worried that if Henry really had feelings for her, she wouldn’t be able to hold back the tears of joy. She had to clear her throat twice before she could ask, “Why would you want everyone to know?”
Henry stopped pacing and met her gaze as he said, “Because I want you to finally believe me when I say I want to court you, and I will never change my mind. No more secrets.” With his arms crossed in front of him, Henry looked at her and Julia almost thought his expression was fearful. When he spoke again, his words sounded less rehearsed. “Give me one more chance, Julia. I know I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve you, but I want you to trust me. I’ve explained what happened to me when Jonathan arrived. I panicked and hurt you. But I swear it will never happen again. Please believe me.”
And finally Julia did believe him. Completely, and with her whole heart, she believed that she could trust Henry. Julia again couldn’t respond without crying. She sat down again and turned her face away from Henry. She just needed a moment to compose herself before she could answer just as eloquently, without her voice cracking.
Before she realized it, Henry was kneeling in front of her. Even though she was sitting and he on his knees, she still had to look up slightly to meet his gaze. He picked up her hand and implored, “You cannot doubt my true intentions now. You know my mother; she’ll begin planning our wedding today,” he warned her. He was looking at her like he expected her to refuse. He began speaking again, more quickly. “I want her to plan the wedding. In fact, I won’t rest until you’ve agreed. I love you and I want to marry you. I’ll follow you to London and court you there if I have to. You are my match in every way and I—”
Julia finally stopped him by putting her fingertips over his mouth. She cleared her throat to find her voice and said, “And you are mine.” Her voice did crack, but only a little.
Henry gently took her hand away and held it in his own. She could see he was breathing faster and he lowered his head a little to look directly into her eyes, searching them. He looked so nervous and unsure of her answer, as if he was expecting her to say no. “Julia,” he whispered her name. “Are you saying yes? We can be together?”
Julia nodded and although she had felt like tears of joy were imminent just moments before, when she finally gave up on holding her emotions back she found herself smiling broadly instead with all the relief she felt that Henry truly wanted her. She tentatively lifted her free hand to his chest and tried not to let herself be overwhelmed that his heart was hers. After a deep breath she was able to say, “I was so scared you hated me now.”
“Hate you? Impossible,” he declared.
“But you hardly spoke to me yesterday at all. Even when the fly flew in the carriage, you didn’t even tease me!”
Henry smiled at her strange logic and said, “Yesterday I was too afraid that if I started talking, I would say too much and you would refuse me again. And as for the teasing … If I promise to tease you every day, will that co
nvince you that I don’t hate you?”
“There must be a better way than that to convince me,” Julia challenged him.
Henry placed his hand over hers and leaned in even closer to her. Julia felt certain that he was going to kiss her, which indeed would help convince her. Just before Henry’s lips touched hers he stopped and said, “I love you with my whole heart, Julia.”
She had relived their only kiss so many times in her mind, but this was the feeling she could never recreate. The anticipation of his lips on hers had her heart racing and rational thought was no longer possible. Julia quickly licked her lips between shallow breaths and her eyes began to drift shut. And then he finally pressed his lips to hers, and if possible, it was better than the first kiss they had shared. His lips moved over hers with purpose and desire, but more with tenderness than anything else. At some point, Henry had joined her on the sofa and she found herself pushed against the corner. She didn’t feel trapped in the least, but took the opportunity to push back, and as their kiss deepened, Julia realized she was quickly gaining a new skill.
It was several moments or minutes later that words were possible between them again. With hands clasped together Henry said, “I can’t quite describe how devastated I would have been if you had turned me down again.” But there was no nervousness in his words now, just relief.
Julia smiled, “Not as devastated as I would have been if you had never asked again.” Her voice was a bit more serious as she admitted, “I didn’t think you would. I thought I had lost my chance after I told you we couldn’t court at the Trevons’ dance.”
His look was mockingly stern as he replied, “Good point. After what you’ve put me through, it’s amazing I still want to marry you.”
Julia just smiled and said, “I want to marry you too.”
“Are you certain?” he asked. And Julia thought there was a slight hint of nervousness on his part once more. “Because I do have a whole plan in place to convince you if you’re not.”
“What plan?”
Henry tucked a stray hair back behind her ear in a gesture that would have felt too familiar just ten minutes ago, but was now effortlessly natural. “It came to me yesterday that I was never going to win you over without a brilliant strategy, so I came up with one.” He raised a finger as he said, “Telling my mother was just the first part. Next, I was going to follow you to London and court you there, as my mother implied earlier. Then, I was going to ask you to ride through Hyde Park with me every day.” Henry lifted her hand in his and brought his other hand up to hold hers between both of his. He gazed into her eyes and Julia felt entranced by him and loved the new feeling of not fighting it. “I was going to give you Pegasus—well, I still am. He’s yours. And, of course, Pegasus is too lazy of a horse for London, so I would have tried to convince you to bring him back to Barrington. And as a very last resort, I was also going to ask your mother to pick me as your intended husband so you would be forced to marry me because of your promise to her. And finally, I would just hope that sometime in our years of marriage you would forgive me.”
Julia laughed at that, fairly sure that most of his “plan” was not real, but certainly not the last part about her mother. Henry smiled with her but didn’t laugh, and Julia looked at him in askance. “You wouldn’t really have plotted with my mother, would you?”
Henry paused a moment, and before he could come up with an answer Lady Chamberlain and Martha came back into the room. Their close proximity on the sofa seemed to be all the confirmation Lady Chamberlain needed and she said, “The two of you have been so sly, I never suspected a thing. But that has always been Henry’s way. When he told me last night what has been going on, right under my nose, I was so happy I didn’t even mind being the last to know.”
“You weren’t quite the last to know … ,” Julia said. Despite the fact that Henry had tried to tell her, she hadn’t believed he really cared for her. Now she finally knew, and with the absence of doubt had come overwhelming happiness that was making her restless.
“Can I assume that you are going to be my guest for a few more days after all, Julia?” asked Martha.
Julia had pretty much forgotten that she was supposed to be departing for London soon. She nodded her head in response to her cousin, whose reassuring smile let her know that she wasn’t upset about a match between her and Henry. “Yes, I’d like to stay if you don’t mind.”
“And then she can come stay here with me until the wedding,” pronounced Lady Chamberlain. Then, turning to Martha, she said, “How soon do you think we can hold the wedding? Lord Chamberlain will be back in three weeks when Parliament ends. Do you think the wedding could be four weeks from now?”
Julia hoped it could, but didn’t listen to Lady Chamberlain and Martha’s plans; they continued talking while she turned her attention back to Henry. The reminder that she must go tell her mother had her saying in a quieter voice, “I don’t want to hear what my mother has to say when she hears about this.” Julia could predict that her mother would be happy to have Julia engaged, but mystified that Henry would want her. It wouldn’t be flattering. “If she wasn’t trying to take me back to London today to marry someone else, I’m not sure I’d bother telling her.”
Henry lifted the back of his finger to gently caress her cheek as he said, “Not a chance. I’ve learned my lesson. Secret courtships cause all kinds of problems.” Suddenly the stroke of his finger stopped and Julia realized the room had gone quiet. They both turned to see Lady Chamberlain smiling down at them in rapture, and Martha looking on with fondness. Henry dropped his hand away from her face, stood up, and pulled her up too as he said, “I’ll come with you. Let’s go tell your mother.”
Before they could leave the room, Lady Chamberlain asked, “Do I have your leave then, to spread the news that you are to be married?”
Henry glanced down at Julia with a question in his eyes once more. She quickly nodded in the affirmative and Henry turned back to his mother and said, “You have our leave to announce it. In fact, tell anyone who will listen that Julia and I are getting married.”
A
Epilogue
Three days before her wedding, Julia finally received the letter she had been anxiously waiting for. Logically, she knew that she was lucky to receive the letter so soon, but after not hearing any word from her sister for almost a month, it was a relief to finally hold Harriet’s letter in her hands.
She had written to Harriet the day after agreeing to Henry’s proposal, hoping that at least her sister would be happy for her. Her mother had been almost indifferent at the news of her engagement, saying, “Yes, I suppose it’s good news that you’re getting married, Julia, but I wish I would have known that you would finally be able to catch a husband on your own. I didn’t exactly promise Mr. Jenks your hand in marriage, but nearly. I don’t think you have considered my position at all. Now it will be extremely embarrassing for me to go back and tell him he can’t marry you.” Her mother had still left that same day for London, with no daughters holding her back any longer.
Julia had sent her letter to Harriet to an address Henry had given her in Shepton Mallet, where Jonathan’s father, Mr. Corey, lived. They didn’t know where the couple had gone after their wedding in Taunton. Of course they hadn’t gone on to Scotland since they were already married, but Henry and Julia couldn’t guess where they would have gone instead. In the end Julia had addressed her letter to Jonathan’s father’s home in Shepton Mallet and hoped it would find Harriet there.
Henry walked into the room as Julia finished the letter. Since she had come to stay at Barrington Court, she usually saw him at breakfast every morning. But now that his father, Lord Chamberlain, had come home, he was busy showing his father all he had accomplished in his absence. Julia had been intimidated at first, but was coming to quite like her future father-in-law, so she didn’t mind too much that Henry was busier now. Today, he and his father had gone to visit some of his new tenants and it was the first time today sh
e had seen Henry even though it was late afternoon. Julia left her letter on the sofa and hurried over to wrap her arms around him in greeting. She gave him a quick kiss, which was barely a connection of their lips, then tried to pull away. “I’ve received a letter from Harri—” but she was interrupted as Henry brought his mouth down on hers once more for a much longer and more thorough greeting. Julia tried for a second to pull away, then quickly changed her mind, embracing the pleasure of the kiss and leaning into him. When Henry finally pulled away, it was a few moments before her eyes fluttered open. She cleared her throat and stepped away from him, but grabbed his hand and laced their fingers together to pull him over to the sofa.
When they sat down, she showed him Harriet’s letter. “As I was saying,” she began, with decorum that she didn’t quite feel, “I’ve received a letter from Harriet finally, and actually she shared some surprising news. The best part of it is that she and Jonathan are coming to our wedding. They’ll arrive tomorrow or the day after,” Julia announced happily, remembering why she had wanted to tell Henry her news right away.
“Oh … well, that’s good,” Henry replied.
Julia narrowed her eyes suspiciously at her fiancé and stated, “You don’t sound all that happy about it.”
“Er, no, I am happy your sister will be here. It’s just that I owe Jonathan an apology that I’m not looking forward to giving. But best to get it over with.” He sighed and finished by saying, “And then it will be wonderful to have them here.”
“You mean apologize for asking him to leave?” Henry nodded and Julia said, “Actually, you might not have to worry about that. Harriet’s prone to exaggeration, but she mentioned in her letter that Jonathan laughed endlessly when he found out we were engaged and that if he had known you were interested in me, he would never have flirted with me.” Julia smiled at him with as innocent a look as she could and said, “Surely you know that never meant anything. You weren’t ever really jealous, were you?”
To Suit a Suitor Page 21