“Yeah, I’m not sure I’m going.” Now that Jake knew Fiona was trying to reconnect with him, he wasn’t exactly excited about hanging around in Trusty. That boat had sailed long ago. No need to try to hash it all out now. If she needed some type of cathartic closure, she could damn well find it on her own. He didn’t need to relive the pain of losing the only woman he’d ever loved.
“What?” Pierce released Rebecca and pulled Jake away from the others. “Dude, what the hell are you talking about? You don’t back out of a family outing, not when they come so few and far between lately. You’ll crush Mom.”
Jake arched a brow. “You’re pulling the Mom card? Really?”
Pierce laughed under his breath. “You’re going to miss Kaylie sing? She’s as famous as you are now.”
Kaylie had received a big recording contract a few years back, and it was a big deal for someone so famous to return to the tiny town and sing at the fair. Not to mention that all of their cousins from Weston, Colorado, would be there, too.
“Okay, now your cards are getting lame.” Jake looked over his shoulder at his brothers. He would like another evening with them, but the idea of running into Fiona again made his stomach burn.
“Fine. I’m pulling the big-brother card.” Pierce’s voice grew serious. “You’re going.”
“Pierce.” Jake shifted his eyes away. “Man, I don’t want to see her. Don’t you get that?”
Pierce stepped into his line of vision with a sobering look in his eyes. “We all know that, Jake. We hear you loud and clear on that front, okay? I know you don’t want to talk about this, but have you ever thought that maybe the reason you’re such a player is because Fiona hurt you so badly?”
Jake gritted his teeth.
“Face it, dude. She hurt you bad. There’s no shame in that. It happens.”
Jake grabbed Pierce’s arm and dragged him toward the driveway, buying himself a few seconds to soothe his seething anger. “And why would I want to see a woman who kicked me to the curb?”
Pierce stared at Jake so long Jake fought the urge to grab him by the collar and shake him.
When Pierce finally spoke, his voice was dead calm. “Because you’re not over her.”
“Pfft. Bullshit.”
“You can’t even say her name, Jake.”
“That’s called hatred.” Jake narrowed his eyes, every muscle in his body rigid and hot.
“That’s called denial.”
Chapter Four
“HE WASN’T EXACTLY receptive to you, sis. It’s been two days and he hasn’t reached out even once. Do you really think it’s smart to put yourself on the line again? Maybe you should rethink this whole thing.” Shea was lying on her side on the bed in Fiona’s childhood bedroom. She was as graceful and sleek as Fiona was strong and lean, and she was as honest as the sky was blue.
After what Shea said, Fiona wondered if she was too confident for her own good where Jake was concerned. It had been a lifetime since they were together. Maybe he really had changed too much for them to ever reconnect. The way his face had gone from the intense face of determination to an angry mask of something too dark for her to acknowledge when he’d seen her on Old Hill Road had her second-guessing her whole idea. But her stubborn heart refused to listen to those concerns.
“Shea, I know him. I know the man he was.” She smoothed her black silky tank in the mirror and assessed her snug-fitting cutoffs.
“He was barely a man back then.” Shea went to the closet and tossed Fiona her favorite pair of cowgirl boots. “I hate to remind you again, but you broke him, and guys don’t bounce back from that stuff. They’re like little girls inside, all weepy and uncomfortable when they’ve been dissed. If anything, he probably hates you for making him feel vulnerable.”
Fiona glared at her sister as she shoved her feet into her boots. God, they felt good. Being a grown-up was totally overrated. She could live in cutoffs and boots.
“You’re supposed to be on my side, Shea. Why are you trying to talk me out of this? You know how much I love him.”
She pulled Shea up to her feet from where she was crouched by the closet.
“I just don’t want you to get hurt.”
“Well, I’m not giving up. Other than the nervous energy ripping through my body like a frigging tsunami, I feel like this is the right thing to do. I trust my instincts.”
A supportive smile reached Shea’s eyes. “I know you do, which is why I’m one hundred percent behind you. But…you taught me to be straight up, so that’s what I’m doing. If he’s a major douche bag to you again, I can’t guarantee that I won’t go off on him.”
Fiona folded her into her arms. “I love you for that, but even when you’re mad, you’re cute as a button.”
“Fierce. I look fierce, like you.” Shea pushed from her arms and gave Fiona a quick once-over. “You look so hot, Fi. If he turns you away this time, he’s a fool.”
“I have news for you, sis. We’re all fools. Maybe it isn’t smart to put myself on the line again. After he turned me down twice and threw Sarah Chelsum in my face?” She bit back the bile that came with that thought and draped her arm over Shea’s shoulder. “Come on. Let’s go make Mr. Tall, Dark, and Angry face his demons.”
“Demon Slayer. That’s what I’m going to call you from now on.”
I hope I can live up to it.
FIONA STEPPED FROM the car and inhaled the smell of popcorn, fried foods, and the unmistakable smell of farm animals. Friday nights marked the end of a hard week of farm and ranch work for many, and the annual County Fair was a much-needed reprieve. It looked like the whole town had turned out for it. Acres of grass served as the fair parking lot and overflowed with farm trucks, cars, and motorcycles. The din of the fair brought a smile as she looped her arm through Shea’s.
“I forget when I’m at work how nice it is to come back home.” She patted the lump of cash in her pocket. Life in Trusty was simple compared to her typical busy life, where she was in an office, chained to her geographic information system (GIS), analyzing data such as relationships of geochemistry of rocks to their magnetic response or where mineralization occurs relative to faults and folds. Or she was camping on a work site, up at first light and working until nightfall. While she loved her work, she always forgot how a simpler life could be just as enjoyable.
“You used to say Trusty was too simple for you. Remember when you left for college? You told me that you might never come back.”
Had she said that? She couldn’t remember, but if she had, she had probably been so upset over their parents’ separation and breaking up with Jake that she thought she’d never want to come back. But she could never really stay away from Trusty. All of her memories of Jake were there, and Jake was never far from her mind. She felt closer to him just being back home—despite his gruffness. She still believed that beneath that unsettled facade, the warm and sensual man she loved was still there. She just needed to cut through the fortress he’d built around his heart and sneak inside.
They weaved through the busy lot toward the lights of the fair.
“You scared the heck out of me,” Shea admitted.
“Aw, Shea, I’m sorry. I think when you’re that age you think the grass is always greener somewhere else.”
“Is that why you really broke up with Jake?” Shea kept her eyes trained on the grass as they fell into step behind a crowd of people entering the fair.
Fiona sighed. “No, not really. I was scared. That was the summer Dad left, remember? And Mom got all…I don’t know. I guess now I understand that she was just overwhelmed and probably feeling lost after Dad left. And bitter, of course.”
“Run over by a tractor would probably be a more accurate description.”
“Yeah, I guess. She was pushing for me to sow my wild oats. God, I hate that phrase, but it’s exactly what she said to me.” Fiona made her voice an octave higher. “Fiona Faith, you think you know what love is, but trust me, you need to go out and sow your w
ild oats. I know you think you have none, but there’s a whole world out there that’s going to tempt you. Better to get the temptation over with now, so you’re sure when you settle down.”
“She said that to you?” Shea’s eyes widened as they paid for their tickets at the old-fashioned ticket booth and passed through the roped-off entrance into the fair.
“Yeah.” Fiona couldn’t help but scan the crowd, hoping to see Jake, as they followed the hordes of people walking along the trampled grass. “Didn’t I ever tell you that?”
“No, but then again, you never talk about that summer. I just can’t believe you took her advice. But I guess it makes sense. You were so upset when Dad left.”
Fiona had been heartbroken when their father had chosen to leave. She’d felt stuck between her parents, wanting to be loyal to her mother, who hadn’t cheated on their family, and wanting to keep her close relationship with her father. In the end, it was too difficult to do both, and she’d gone two years without much contact with her father. In the years since, they’d maintained a distant relationship, but she’d never confronted her father about his leaving.
“Mom really rattled me. I mean, if Mom said not to trust my feelings, who was I to think otherwise? She was Mom, you know?”
“Yeah, I know. Do you know what she said to me when I left for college?” Shea tugged her toward a roller coaster.
“Sow your wild oats?” Shea hadn’t dated many guys in high school. She’d been popular but had chosen to hang out with groups of friends rather than getting tied down with a relationship. Lord knew, with her long blond hair and gorgeous figure, she was asked out all the time, but as far as Fiona knew, she still hadn’t had a long-term boyfriend.
“No. Just the opposite. She told me that I should open myself up to someone and that she hoped I found the right guy to make me happy.”
“What is with our family members doling out strange advice? Finn told me to practice abstinence and it would heal my heart.” Fiona laughed.
“He’s always been…earthy.”
They both laughed at that while they waited for their turn on the ride.
The line for the roller coaster moved quickly, and while Fiona processed the difference in their mother’s advice to each of them, they moved to the front of the line. Ten minutes later they were buckled into their seats, waiting for the ride to start.
“You know what I think? Maybe Mom realized she made a mistake telling you to sow your oats.” Shea laced her fingers with Fiona’s as the roller coaster rolled up the tracks, giving them a birds’-eye view of the fair below.
At the top of the hill, Shea leaned across Fiona and pointed to the makeshift stage. “You can’t miss those Bradens. Check that out.”
The roller coaster crested the hill and zoomed down just as Fiona noticed the broad-shouldered, tall, dark Bradens gathered together like a sports team. She left her stomach somewhere near the top of the hill, but her heart was wrapped around one of the broadest of the men below. She’d recognize Jake anywhere. At six three he was hard to miss, with linebacker shoulders and the nicest ass she’d ever seen. Not that she could see it from the roller coaster, but the image of Jake’s body was seared into her mind. She wanted to join Team Jake in the worst way, but she’d benched him once, and he clearly wasn’t eager to hear her offer.
As the roller coaster climbed the next hill, she drew upon every inspirational saying her lacrosse and soccer coaches had ever said to her: It’s not whether you get knocked down; it’s whether you get up. Only he who can see the invisible can do the impossible. Crap. She needed more courage! Every rejection from Jake sliced a little deeper, and she wanted her skin to be too thick for the thickest of verbal slashings. The roller coaster rolled over the peak and plowed toward the ground at breakneck speed.
Make sure your worst enemy doesn’t live between your own two ears.
Thank you, Laird Hamilton.
With her sister’s hand in hers, she threw her arms up in the air and screamed a loud, indiscernible scream, releasing any lingering doubt.
I can do this.
As the roller coaster eased to a stop, Shea bumped shoulders with Fiona and laughed.
“Let’s go, Demon Slayer.”
“I know this is the right thing to do, Shea. I know it is, and I’m not giving up until he looks me in the eye and says he doesn’t still love me. When he says those words…” She swallowed the lump that came with the thought. “I’ll put my frigging tail between my legs and slink away. Until that stubborn and beautiful man tells me that, I’m still in the game.”
JAKE WAS WOUND so tight he wanted to take off for a five-mile sprint, jump from a burning building, or bang some nameless, faceless chick until he was too tired to move. Since he was with his brothers and a few of his cousins and there was no burning building in sight, the first and second of those options were off the table. And since the thought of banging any woman other than Fiona had made him ill ever since he’d run into her in the bar, even his go-to stress reliever was nothing more than a fallen fantasy.
He was screwed.
One hundred percent screwed.
He had no choice but to put on a friendly face, pretend he didn’t get a funny feeling in his gut every time his brothers or cousins snuggled up to the women they loved, and act congenial. His eyes slid over the crowd, lingering on every chestnut-haired, slender woman around five foot five. His pulse ratcheted up, and conflicting emotions coursed through him with every sweep of their faces. He hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Fiona.
Goddamn Fiona.
She’d sliced right through the concrete walls he’d erected. It was all he could do to remain impassive when confronted with her feminine curves and her sweet voice, which slid right through his chest.
Why the hell was he even pondering her at all? She had crushed him and walked away without ever looking back. Even as he thought it, he knew he was powerless to remain impassive. Fiona owned a piece of him that he knew no one else could ever touch.
I’m totally screwed.
He tried to focus on Kaylie’s voice as she sang a country song, but it was no use. Even the beat of the music made him think of Fiona and the way she loved to dance.
“Come on, Jake.” Rex Braden, Jake’s cousin from Weston, Colorado, was six four with shoulders like a Mack truck and massive arms and legs born from years of working on the Braden ranch. He tipped his ever-present Stetson and pulled his fiancée, Jade, against his side. They both had jet-black hair, Jade’s to her waist, Rex’s over his collar. With her piercing blue eyes, Jade was as strikingly beautiful as Rex was handsome. “We’re heading over to the dance.”
Jake ran his eyes over Rex’s brother Treat, carrying his new baby boy, Dylan, in one arm and holding his four-year-old daughter Adriana’s hand. Adriana was named for their mother, who had passed away when they were very young. Treat’s wife, Max, reached for Jake’s arm.
“Come on, Jake. Treat’s going to be busy dancing with Adriana. I’ll need a dance partner.”
“Dance?” He arched a brow toward his brothers, hoping they’d pick up on his sarcasm and save him from dancing.
Pierce gave him a shove toward the grassy area that had been cleared and lined with hay bales to be used as a dance floor. “Go on.”
“A’righty, then,” Jake relented. He supposed he might as well try to have a good time. He was a damn good dancer, but he’d have to watch his moves. Jake was used to dirty dancing with the ladies back in LA, not dancing with his cousin’s wife.
Max was an easy dance partner. She was confident and kept up small talk, which to Jake’s surprise, eased his tension. He’d been so damn focused on avoiding Fiona that he had lost track of how nice it was to catch up with everyone.
“What’s it like coming back home?” Max asked as Kaylie belted out another song.
Jake thought about the question. He was surrounded by his brothers and their fiancées dancing and laughing. He’d missed his cousins. His uncle Hal had six chi
ldren. Treat was the oldest, and then came Rex, Dane, Savannah, Josh, and Hugh. All but Dane, Rex, and Josh were happily married now, and those three were engaged. When they were younger, they’d spent a lot of time together, but over the last few years Jake had been wrapped up in his career, and they’d seen each other only a handful of times.
“It feels good to be home.” The small town had its downfalls. One of them being that Fiona could show up at any time; the other being gossip that ran thicker than sludge, and of course Trusty was…Trusty. It was small and safe, not at all the way Jake liked to live his life. Although there had been a time when he’d been so comfortable there that he’d imagined him and Fiona getting married after college and living outside of LA, in a cabin in the woods, enjoying the same quiet life they’d grown up with in Trusty. He’d buried that pipe dream ages ago, and he had no room for anything quiet in his life now.
“I know Treat misses seeing you.” The music slowed and Max pulled her dark hair back and secured it with an elastic band. She was a beautiful woman, slim and bright eyed. A natural beauty. “Can you spare a slow dance?”
Jake shrugged. “Sure, but would you rather I took care of Adriana and Dylan so you can dance with Treat?”
“Obviously you’ve never tried to get Adriana away from her daddy.” She nodded at Adriana, who was wrapped in Treat’s arms, her lithe arms around his neck, her cheek pressed to his. Treat was a formidable man at six foot six, the same height as his father, Hal. Adriana looked even smaller in his big arms.
“Where’s Dylan?” Jake asked.
Crashing Into Love Page 4