by Jordan Ford
“Gotta get back to the house. Just realized some homework I forgot about.”
This confuses him—I’m not really a homework kind of guy—but all I can hope is that he’ll buy it as I jog up the beach and head for Denee’s place. It takes a while to walk home, and I decide not to run the way my feet want to. I need time to think about exactly what I’m going to write to Snap. How do I mention the whole ‘meeting her’ thing without freaking her out?
By the time I finally get there, and I see Denee’s car in the driveway, I figure I’ll have to do just a little homework to make myself look legit, but not until I’ve emailed Snap Dragon.
I keep my hello and surf report brief, using the homework excuse to get me to my room with minimal conversation. Denee looks happily surprised by the fact that I want to work on a Sunday afternoon and leaves me to it.
Thank God.
As soon as I shut the door, I sit down at my desk and open up a fresh email.
Sender: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: I need a dose of Snap Dragon
____________________
Hey,
Sorry I didn’t email you yesterday. I’ve kind of been slack all week, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t been thinking about you. A lot.
Life here is busy.
Crap, everyone says that, right? Everyone’s always busy. It’s a lame excuse.
I should never be too busy for you.
I’m making some new friends here. They’re cooler than I expected.
….
Thoughts of Lettie plow through my brain. I wouldn’t exactly describe her as cool. Not in the typical way. But she’s got her own kind of cool. A sweet, nerdy kind of cool that’s damn adorable. I bet Snap is just the same.
I focus back on the email, rereading what I’ve written before continuing with a grin.
….
But not as cool as you.
I can’t talk to any of them the way I talk to you.
….
I think of Lettie again and wonder if I could ever open up to her. But I don’t want to. I’ve got Snap. She’s all I need.
Which is why I have to meet her.
I poise my fingers over the keyboard, ready to change my life for good, but I get interrupted by a phone call.
Glancing at the screen, I see Mom’s name and tense. If I ignore it, she’ll only call me back later, so with a short sigh, I swipe right and answer the call.
“Hey, Mom.”
“Hey, Jace. How are you?” She sounds excited, but all I can give her is a standard reply.
“I’m good.”
She laughs. “That’s it? Just good? Denee tells me you’ve been doing great. I’m really proud of you.”
I squirm in my chair, tugging at my dried-off board shorts. I should really change. The sand inside of them is starting to itch.
“So, tell me everything. What are you doing right now?”
I glance at my laptop and hedge. “Homework. Just about to knock that off so I’m all good for school tomorrow.”
“Yay. Music to my ears.” Mom laughs again and then starts asking me about my teachers. I tell her everything I can think of, and for a second it feels like old times again, until she starts talking about the baby. “I’m getting a real bump now. It brings back so many memories of when I was pregnant with you. Tony really loves it. He calls it my little soccer ball.” Her laughter tinkles like a bell and I jerk out of my chair, pacing in my tiny room. “We’re wondering if he’ll play soccer like you did, or if we’ll get a girly girl who dances around in pink tutus.”
“That’s great, Mom.” I hope my words don’t sound as tense as I feel.
“Yeah, baby and I are totally healthy. We’re setting up a little nursery in Tony’s office. We’re choosing yellow, because that’s neutral. Don’t worry, your room remains untouched.”
I punch out a chuckle because I know that’s what she wants to hear. The awkward sound is followed by a silence I can’t decipher.
“So, um, if things keep going well for you, you might make it back for the birth.”
I make a face. Thankfully she can’t see it. The idea of heading home suddenly feels weird. I’m just starting to find my groove here, and another shift so soon makes me feel like I’m about to topple over. The angst inside of me brews and stirs, making me restless.
“Do you think you can behave yourself until December? We really miss you here. It’d be nice to have you back. With conditions, of course.”
Her sweet words are marred by her final statement.
“Conditions?”
“You know, about who you spend time with. Although, according to Denee, you’ve made some great choices this week, so after a couple more months, I’m hoping you’ll make wise decisions without even thinking about it.” Her laughter is forced and then drops away completely. “I spoke to Steph yesterday.”
My stomach hitches. “How’s Hayes?”
“He’s hanging in there. It’s pretty tough, but he has another surgery this week, and Steph is feeling really hopeful. Poor woman. She looked exhausted when I spoke to her. She’s really lost her sparkle, you know? It must be so stressful. I can’t even imagine what I’d be going through if it was you flat on your back.”
I close my eyes, my throat swelling so much it hurts to swallow.
“Anyway, I thought I should update you. I know how much Hayes means to you.”
“Yeah,” I croak.
“It’s really the other two that I have the biggest issue with. Vic and Isaac.” She spits out their names like they’re dirty or something. “It’s just such a shame that they dragged you and Hayes down with them.”
I clench my jaw, anger roiling through me. She has no right to talk about Vic and Isaac that way. She doesn’t even know them.
But I can’t tell her that.
It’ll only make her cry, and after all the tears I caused before I came here, I feel like I owe her to shut my mouth and just take it.
I need to wrap up this call before I say something stupid.
“Hey, Mom, I gotta go.” I grit out the words. “Homework’s calling, you know?”
“Yeah, of course. You go do that. I’ll check in again tomorrow, okay?”
“Yep.”
“Love you.”
I bob my head a couple of times before managing to squeak out a tight “You too.”
She hangs up and I drop my phone onto my bed.
It makes me so angry the way she blames Vic and Isaac for everything. Sure, they may be reckless, but they’re good guys. They actually care about me.
I plunk down on my chair and try to remember the last time I heard from them. I don’t want to touch my phone right now. I’m still too annoyed from the call, but as I track back, I can’t think of one text I’ve gotten from either of them. If I texted them, they’d reply in an instant, I know they would. But I guess I’m outta sight, outta mind right now.
My shoulders sag forward.
If Hayes was healthy, he’d keep in touch. I know he would.
But he’s stuck on his back in the hospital, and knowing how much Steph hates me right now, he’s probably not allowed to contact me.
“Sucks,” I mutter, leaning back and staring at my screen. “At least I’ve got you.” I brush the tips of my fingers over the screen and then start typing again.
….
I know you’re probably going to say no, but I want to meet you so bad. I want to look into your eyes. I want to talk to you and hear the sound of your voice.
Would you ever consider it?
If you say no, that’s okay. I won’t stop what we’ve got going. I guess I just want to enhance it.
Maybe you’re scared that it won’t enhance anything, that it might destroy what we have.
I don’t know. Maybe you’re right.
But I’m willing to take that chance.
You are the only constant, un-confusing thing in my life.
&n
bsp; At least tell me you’ll think about it.
xx
Bass
26
The Trifecta Vortex
LETTIE
We stop for ice cream on our way home. Reed gets a strawberry sundae, which is my usual MO, but when Drew orders vanilla with a peanut butter and chocolate swirl, I decide to mix it up and order the same. It’s pretty satisfying, but it doesn’t kill the storm inside of me. It’s not a raging torrent, more like a cascade of rain that I don’t know whether to dance in or run through.
I can’t stop peeking at the tattoo Jace drew on me. It’s so perfect, and I don’t know how I’m ever going to wash my arm again…ever.
I really need to get him to draw the design on a piece of paper that I can treasure until my eighteenth birthday when I show up at a tattoo parlor. Who knows, maybe Jace will pursue that line of work and he can do it for me.
“So, what did you think of the ending?” Reed asks as he licks a blob of strawberry sauce off his spoon.
“Huh?” I glance at him, forcing my brain away from Jace and the touch of his fingers on my skin.
Reed chuckles, his eyes growing warm with affection before he glances down at his sundae. “You look just like her sometimes,” he murmurs softly.
“I’m sorry, what?” I lean in to hear him better.
He glances at Drew, but the two boys are totally distracted at the pinball machine. They wolfed down their ice creams and asked for coins while sliding their empty bowls into the middle of the table.
“I, uh…” Reed shakes his head.
“You said I look like someone?” I dunk my spoon into the melting ice cream and tip my head at him.
“Just a friend from home. You remind me of her sometimes. Some of your expressions and…she has brown eyes like yours.”
I raise my eyebrows, curiosity pulling me away from thoughts of Jace. “Was she your girlfriend?”
The edges of his lips curl into the beginnings of a smile. “Kind of, but… I mean, we dated for a little while, then decided we were better off as friends.” His voice is soft and wistful.
I lean my arms on the table, giving him a sympathetic smile. “I bet you miss your friends.”
He clenches his jaw, then forces a closed-mouth smile while clearing his throat. “So, the ending of The Triumphant. What did you think of it?”
“Oh, um…” I scratch my head, thrown by the quick subject change. He obviously doesn’t want to talk about it. That’s cool. My mind scrambles to catch up.
The Triumphant. The Triumphant.
Oh yeah, that’s right.
I cringe. “I haven’t read it yet.”
“I thought you said you were starting it this weekend. I figured you would have finished it in like a day. It’s a pretty intense read. Kind of impossible to put down.” He grins.
I smile back at him. “I got distracted by another novel and then just haven’t gotten to it yet. But I will, and I’ll let you know what I think.”
“Sounds good.” His tight expression tells me that he knows I’ve been completely distracted this afternoon.
I shouldn’t be.
I’m sitting with a guy who reads the books I recommend to him, takes me out for ice cream, sneaks me delicious home baking at school. He’s been my savior at Walton this year. I should be totally into him, but…
“Can we go now?” Drew jumps up to the table. “Dennis is going to come over to watch a movie.”
“Okay.” Reed bobs his head, then points at me. “Are you done?”
“Yeah.” I push my sundae away and rise from the table, giving Reed my address when he asks for it.
About ten minutes later, he pulls his uncle’s car into my driveway and cuts the engine. Slowly sliding off his shades, he gives me a kind smile. “I really liked hanging out with you today, Lettie, in spite of the fact that you like peanut butter in your ice cream.”
“Hey!” I gently slap his arm and giggle while Drew scoffs in the back seat.
“It’s awesome! And strawberry is boring.”
“Strawberry is not boring,” I retort and then wink at him. “But I did love the vanilla and peanut butter today. Super delicious.”
His grin is kind of triumphant as he slaps Reed on the shoulder. “You don’t know what you’re missing out on, cuz.”
“I’m pretty sure I do. I’m a strawberry man all the way.”
We smile at each other, and I can’t help noticing how straight his teeth are. He’s a pretty good-looking guy. I should be stoked that he likes hanging out with me.
A warm fuzziness tickles my insides, but it lacks the strength and luster of what I felt on the beach before. I clear my throat, wanting to ignore that thought.
“Well, I’ll catch you at school tomorrow?” I reach for the door handle.
“Sure thing. I could pick you up if you want.”
Pick me up? So, like arrive at school with him like I’m his girlfriend?
Um.
Am I ready for that?
“That’s okay.” I shake my head. “I like driving in with Sav and Louis. It’s like our morning tradition.” I am making up complete BS right now.
Why?
Why don’t I want to drive to school with Reed?
He’s sweet. Lovely. He’d probably make a great boyfriend.
But he’s not Jace.
He’s not Bass. At least I don’t think he is.
“Hey, can you ask Louis about the playing together thing?” Drew leans in between the front seats.
“Most definitely.” I smile at him.
“Maybe I can drop Drew off sometime and we can hang out too,” Reed says.
“Sounds good.” I nod and open the door, jumping out before any more plans can be made.
I stand in the driveway and wave goodbye after he’s reversed onto the road. Once he’s gone, I scratch my forehead and enter the house with a frown.
What am I feeling right now?
There’s like this epic battle of emotions raging inside of me, and I can’t figure out where to place anything or which emotion belongs in which corner. Or which emotion belongs to which guy in my life.
How crazy is this?
The delicious scent of garlic, bacon and chicken distracts me, and my stomach grumbles in response. Savannah’s making her chicken dish, and it smells so freaking good. Not even a late-afternoon ice cream can kill my appetite for her signature dish.
I walk into the kitchen. Sav is standing over the frying pan while Griffin washes some dishes at the sink.
“Hey,” I greet them both.
Griffin glances over his shoulder with a grin while Savvy offers me a tight, fake smile.
I nibble my lip, suddenly remembering how I spoke to her before I left. Is she mad at me?
I can’t tell, and I don’t want to open up that can right now. I just want to hide in my room.
“What time’s dinner?”
“Dad’ll be home in about half an hour. I figure we should wait for him,” Savvy answers.
“Good idea.” I smile at her, but she just goes back to frying.
Griffin’s closed-mouth grin tells me he’s up to speed on whatever the hell is going on between me and Savannah. I wish I knew how to fix it. I wish she knew how to be my sister without parenting me. And I wish I could tell her how I really feel without getting all snappy over it.
Rubbing my chest, I head past the living room and spot Louis on his iPad.
“Hey, lil man.”
“Sista.” He glances up for a microsecond, then quickly returns to his game.
I watch him for a minute before ruffling his hair.
“Who dropped you home?” he asks when I turn to walk out of the room.
“Reed, from school. His cousin Drew wants to invite you over for a hangout sesh sometime.”
“Awesome.” He grins, still not taking his eyes off the screen. “I met Reed after school the other day. He’s cool. I like him. Drew says he transferred here because he got into big trouble where he w
as living. I don’t know how. He seems too good to be bad, you know what I mean?”
I cross my arms and stare at the back of Louis’s head. “What did he do?”
Louis shrugs. “Drew doesn’t know. He’s not allowed to bring it up, but Reed has to be on his best behavior, and I think he’s making a real effort.” Louis grunts, tipping his screen to the side as he fights whatever beast he’s battling in his game.
My eyebrows wrinkle with a frown as I head to my room, my brain working overtime.
Reed is here because he did something bad? Possibly reckless?
Man, he sounds so like Bass sometimes it freaks me out.
But I can’t be right.
Jace got sent away from his home too. I still don’t know why, but that doesn’t make him Bass.
I snort and shake my head. What is wrong with me?
Bass. Reed. Jace.
I need to escape this vortex.
Shutting my bedroom door behind me, I plunk down in front of my computer and double-tap the space bar. My inbox was the last thing open, so it fills the screen, and I see a new email from Bass has just popped up. Like literally one minute ago.
My heart trills the way it always does and I quickly open it, soaking in every syllable until I reach his final paragraph and jerk back with a gasp.
He wants to meet me.
Because I’m un-confusing.
My pulse thrums wildly as I reread each line again.
I want to look into your eyes. I want to talk to you and hear the sound of your voice.
I want that too. Oh man, that’d be amazing. And maybe it would kill some of my confusion.
But meet him?