by C. A. Harms
“You need a break, man.” I looked up to find Mike standing in the doorway of the conference room holding two coffees. “I’m just saying that you’ve been at it for days, Josh. I don’t mean to piss you off.”
“I can’t let go of the idea that there is something right in front of our faces and we’re not seeing it,” I replied as I looked back down at the mess before me. “I feel like if I stop looking through all this shit, that somehow I’m failing her.”
The confession felt like I swallowed acid. My throat and stomach burned from the words.
There was a silence that set over the room before I heard the screeching sound of the chair across from me scraping against the floor.
I looked up just in time to see Mike take a seat and place the coffee he held on the conference table before me.
“I know I screwed up,” he began, and I tried to stop him, but he held out his hand. “Let me say this, Josh, please.”
I nodded, and he continued.
“I got careless, and I can never express how sorry I am for putting Gabby in danger.” His throat bobbed as he swallowed hard. “The reality of the situation, of what could have happened, it’s fucked with my head every day since. And sorry will never be enough, but I can assure you I will never underestimate Leo again.”
I never spoke, because I could tell he hadn’t finished yet. His gaze was focused on his hands as he pulled at the label on his coffee.
“You’re like a brother to me, and Gabby—hell, we all love that girl. I failed her, Josh,” he stated, “not you.”
He now looked up and locked eyes with me.
“Take a break, spend some time with your fiancée, and let us focus on all this for a day.” He shrugged. “The both of you could use a night away from everything. Some time together without all this crazy shit hanging over your heads.”
“I can’t,” I said and motioned to all the notes and files laid out before me. “I need to settle this nightmare so we can move on.”
“And I understand that, but one night to clear your head is what you both deserve,” Mike insisted. “You can come back and start fresh with a clear head.”
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper, laying it next to my coffee.
Tower Corner Suite, at The Towers at Lotte New York Palace.
I looked up at him in confusion after reading the handwritten message. “What’s this?” I asked.
Mike smiled. “The room is registered in my name. Fully paid for and stocked. You won’t have to leave for anything, and there are two agents assigned outside the room at all times.”
He had done this.
I don’t know if it was some attempt to ease his mind for not being there with Gabby the night I was in Jersey, but the gesture was appreciated.
“This is dragging you down, Josh, and it’s dragging Gabby down too. Audrey is worried about her. It’s just one night.”
I could no longer deny the idea of pretending for twenty-four hours like we didn’t have some sick fuck out there waiting for another chance to instill fear in all of us.
Mike was right; we both needed this badly.
“Thanks, man.” I was grateful.
“No problem,” he said in response just before rising from the table and coming around to my side. “Now get out of here and let me work already. You’re in my fucking way.”
I chuckled as I stood up and pushed my chair back. Stepping around him, I placed my hand on his shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze.
Without any further words, forgiveness was exchanged. It was a guy thing. We didn’t have to say it, we just knew.
Chapter 16
Gabby
“Oh my god, that feels amazing,” I moaned out as I let my head fall back against the headboard. “So damn good,” I was practically panting.
“Right there?” Josh asked, and I nodded.
“You have the most magical hands,” I whispered as his fingers dug in to the arch of my foot a little deeper.
“I’ve heard you say that more than a time or two.” I lifted my head to find him grinning widely, cocky, and completely full of himself.
I had missed his smile.
But it wasn’t just that, I had missed us.
Over the last couple weeks I had felt so detached from Josh, like we were worlds apart. I was beginning to grow unsure about the possibility of us ever getting back to the way we were.
Our relationship had been rocky, even from the beginning.
Some may think I was a fool for choosing to forget what happened between him and Audrey. Or even the way he took care of that young girl who was trapped and held captive in Leo’s fucked up world. But the way I looked at it, none of those people knew what I felt.
They didn’t know the love Josh and I shared, or even the things that led up to those situations.
People could judge my choices all they wanted, and to them I would just say “I feel sorry for you.” Sorry they had never experienced the intense connection I felt after one look from Josh, just one touch, or that handsome, heart-stopping smile of his after one long day of feeling as if the world was out to get us.
Our love was deep, deeper than any love I had ever felt before.
“I love you,” I said in a whisper. With those words, I watched the stress I knew was weighing heavy on him begin to fade.
He slowly rose and began climbing up the hotel bed, getting closer to me.
He paused long enough to kiss my stomach before continuing the path he was originally on. When his face was within inches of mine he gave me a gentle sweet kiss, before pulling back once again.
“Baby, I love you so much that I find it almost impossible to function without you by my side. I feel like you are a part of me.” He paused, closing his eyes for just a moment, as if deep in thought. “A part vital for me to survive.”
He now held such an intense look in his eyes it literally made my chest ache.
“If anything ever happened to you…” he whispered, his voice now sounding so raw.
I placed my finger to his lips to stop him from continuing. “Nothing is going to happen to me.”
I understood there was no way to guarantee that, not with Leo still out there somewhere, but I had to believe. And in turn I had to make him believe, at least for the moment. We needed tonight. I felt almost desperate for the connection I knew we had missed for far too long.
Josh kissed me once more, only this time it was needy and only left me wanting more.
Each touch was gentle as Josh began to explore me.
“If keeping you safe means I have to take you far away from here, someplace secluded where no one knows where we are, I’ll do it,” he whispered against my ear as he slid my gown upward, exposing my lower half. “I’ll live in a fucking steel box if I have to in order to make sure he never hurts you or our child.”
I knew he meant it. But something told me no matter where we went or how well we hid, Leo would always terrorize us.
“You’re my world, Gabby,” he whispered against my lips, parting my legs with his knee. “My life.”
When I felt his hardness press against me I closed my eyes, waiting for the exquisite sensation of him entering me for the first time. There was nothing like it, nothing more tantalizing.
And if the deep guttural moan that escaped him the moment he pushed inside me was any indication, I knew he felt that too.
Sometimes a woman just needs that deep connection, one felt when sharing the most amazing, heavenly love with a man who holds her heart in his hands.
Josh gave me that.
He made love to me like it was a form of art.
One he’d perfected to a T.
***
I woke feeling revived and more relaxed than I felt in months.
Josh and I spent the evening talking and laughing. I got a glimpse of the man I met that first night in the bar, or even the second night in the liquor store, the man who made it impossible for me to say no.
I roll
ed to my side and smiled when Josh came into view.
He lay spread out on his stomach with his hands tucked under his pillow. He head was turned to the side, pressed against the overstuffed hotel pillow.
He was gloriously naked, and the rock-hard contours of his back showed every defined muscle that led down to an even more glorious ass.
Sometimes I found it hard to accept that he was in fact mine.
It seemed as if it was unreal.
“You’re looking at me like I’m one of those pickle, chip, and peanut butter sandwiches you crave,” he said against his pillow.
Laughter bubbled in my chest when I realized I had been caught in the mental devouring act I was performing.
“I love those sandwiches,” I admitted.
He pulled his hand out from beneath the pillow and found mine, pulling it close and kissing my palm.
“I know you do, baby, but I need to tell you those have to be the nastiest things I have ever witnessed anyone consume.” I scowled at him playfully. “But I would never deny you.”
I was just about to make a playful comment about craving a little meat instead, but his ringing phone broke the mood.
“I better grab that,” he said as he scrambled toward the nightstand.
Our time together was now over, I guessed.
It was time to get back to real life.
The alarmed tone of Josh caught my attention, and I wobbled from side to side, attempting to sit up.
“Where is he?” he asked.
“Motherfucker,” Josh said in a tone that made me jump in surprise. “How bad is it?”
I knew that whatever news he had just been given had to be bad. I could hear the panic in his voice. “We’ll be right there,” he assured whoever was on the other line just before hanging up.
Josh hung his head and ran his hands through his hair.
“What is it?” I asked.
He lifted his head, but never turned to face me.
For a moment I thought maybe he hadn’t heard me, but then he spoke and his words made my stomach lurch in agony.
“Mike was shot early this morning.” He paused as he looked over his shoulder. “He and Trevor stayed late working on shit I should have been doing myself. When they were leaving, Trevor heard a gunshot and turned around to find Mike crumbled to the ground three feet from his fucking car.”
“Is he gonna be okay?” I asked.
My heart was racing in fear.
“He’s in surgery now. Gray didn’t know much.” Josh stood up and began searching the room for clothes. “We need to get to the hospital.”
I didn’t hesitate to slide from bed and begin gathering our things.
Josh was beside himself as we exited the hotel room and passed the two agents who had been outside our room all night.
Josh mumbled something to them and they both followed closely behind as we made our way to the elevator.
I was afraid to speak. I couldn’t even begin to imagine what Josh was feeling right now. Mike and he were at odds until yesterday when he had set this entire hotel stay up for us. It was such an amazing gesture, only confirming what we already knew.
Mike wasn’t the hard ass he appeared to be on the outside, but in fact a genuinely sweet guy. He was a great partner and a loyal to the depth of his soul friend.
I found myself silently praying he was okay as we rode the elevator in silence. Josh stared ahead with an unreadable expression on his face while holding my hand firmly in his.
My heart broke for him.
He was living a nightmare, terrorized by Leo who held the lives of everyone Josh loved and cared for over his head, taunting and teasing him with the fact that in the blink of an eye, he could strike.
We were all living in Leo’s hell.
The clock was ticking, and there was absolutely nothing any of us could do to stop him.
Chapter 17
Josh
I swear I was on the verge of losing my mind.
I was hanging by a fucking rope and I had no way out.
I felt like everything was caving in around me and my air supply was restricted.
The waiting room was filled with agents and friends. Gabby sat at my side, consoling Audrey who looked lost in her own little world.
We hadn’t heard anything yet. Even Mike’s parents were pacing the hall, desperate for one sliver of hope. Trevor still wore the same shirt he wore when he held his brother in his arms, awaiting the ambulance’s arrival. He stared ahead at the entrance to the operating room, as if he was willing the door to open and someone to exit.
When the doctor entered the room he seemed surprised when he had five different agents and two very concerned parents lunging forward. I was sure we were all a sight—towering agents, demanding and intimidating.
“Are you all here for Mr. Larson?” he asked.
It was Mike’s father who spoke first. “Yes, doctor, we are. These people are Mike’s family. Now please tell us my son is going to be okay.”
By this time every person within the room had moved forward as we crowded the doctor, waiting for him to speak.
“Mr. Larson lost a lot of blood prior to arriving here at the emergency room,” the doctor began. “But we were able to stabilize him and assess the damage. We found the bullet did significant harm to his small intestines.”
As the doctor talked, my stomach tightened with the possibility of Mike and his life forever being changed by this event.
“Mike really was lucky. I know it may not seem so right now, but the damage could have been much worse.” It was a warning from Leo. We all knew he could have ended Mike’s life, yet he chose this instead.
It only enhanced my need for revenge.
“Can we see him?” It was Audrey who spoke first.
Fuck, she looked destroyed. Her hair was a mess, her eyes were swollen and red, and she appeared so frail. Audrey was a tough girl, as were all the Shannon sisters. But right then, she looked lost.
“He’s in recovery now,” the doctor told her in a kind voice. “Once he’s placed in a room, we’ll allow short visits. But he’ll need his rest.”
Audrey nodded, as did Mike’s parents.
I think we all just wanted the same thing, to know he was okay, and we needed to see him to be sure.
***
I wasn’t sure how much time had passed. I just knew that we were all still hanging on to get the chance to see Mike.
All the shit that had gone on between us over the last week or so seemed so fucked up.
To think we could have lost him made my anger with him over the events fade. I knew by looking around that we were all reevaluating some things. Shit like this makes you do that.
I instinctively reached out for Gabby and placed my hand on her thigh as I looked over at her. She looked exhausted, and suddenly I felt guilty for keeping my pregnant fiancée sitting here in a hospital waiting room without once thinking of her needs.
I turned in my chair and leaned in to touch her jaw with my palm. “Hey,” I whispered.
Her eyes sagged as she leaned in to my touch.
“You hungry?” I asked, and she only shook her head. “I should call your parents, have them come get you.”
“No.” She opened her eyes and reached up to place her hand over mine, which still rested against her cheek. “I’m fine, really. I just want to be here for you and Audrey. If I go back to my parents’ I’ll just worry.”
I was torn. All this stress and these unpredictable events weren’t good for any of us, especially Gabby.
I looked down toward her stomach and smiled, as if I had no control over the happiness it brought me. “You sure I can’t get you something to eat?”
“I’m good,” she assured me. Lifting her hand she placed it over our son and I looked up to find her staring at me. “We’re good.”
Without hesitation I arched my neck and placed my lips to hers. “Thank you,” I whispered as I pulled back and found her staring at me in confusion.
>
“For what?” she asked.
“For loving me,” I said in response. “For sticking through all this with me and forgiving me when I was at my lowest. For everything.”
Tears pooled in her eyes and she offered a gentle nod.
No more words were necessary, just the reassurance that we were there for each other, through whatever the hell life threw at us.
Chapter 18
Gabby
I was losing him again.
Josh had before been so consumed with Leo and everything that surrounded him, but since Mike was shot, it was magnified.
We rarely spoke, hardly ever saw one another, and I felt so alone.
I tried not to let it get to me, but I missed him so much.
I knew he was doing what he had to in order to assure the safety of everyone he loved and cared about, but I was selfish. I wanted him.
I wanted my life back.
The time when we should be preparing for the birth of our child was spent in fear. I was hidden away at my parents’ feeling as if my life would never be back to normal.
My parents were great. Overbearing, extremely overprotective, and at times suffocating, but great.
Audrey and Brook probably had a completely different outlook on the matter, but I loved the hovering. It made it easier to forget that outside of this little island we were living on, everything was like a ticking time bomb.
A light tapping on the door startled me and I rolled over, not so gracefully, to look toward the bedroom door.
It creeped open and my mother stepped inside. She held out my phone and smiled. “There is a very eager person named Margo who keeps attempting to reach you. She’s called half a dozen times in less than two minutes.”
“My boss,” I explained with an eye roll. “And I can almost guarantee she is calling to complain about the office suck-up, Sierra. It’s actually kind of funny after she stuck me with Conrad on more than one occasion that she now has to deal with her.” I shrugged and smiled brightly. “Payback of sorts, I guess.”