by Livia Grant
“I won’t ever again. I’ll tell you so much about what we get up to that you’ll be wishing I’d shut up.”
“I’m sure. I never ever want to hear that you’ve pretended to be someone else’s girl.”
“Never! That wasn’t serious. I don’t feel anything for Jen but friendship I promise. I love Jen as a friend, we support each other when you and Brock are on shift but that’s all it will ever be. You’re the girl I love! Jen has boy cooties remember?”
Crystal giggled. “You’re funny, sometimes.”
“So is my punishment over?”
“Yes. Come here.” Crystal held her arms open and they both nearly lost their balance when Carol flew into her lover’s arms.
“How long do I have to keep this thing in?”
“If you’re a good girl, I’ll take it out before bed.”
Chapter 8
“Good morning.”
“Is it? I think I’ve died and this is not heaven.”
“Sore?”
“A little. I have a headache.”
“It’s just the stress. Stay there and I’ll get you something.”
Crystal was back in a few minutes with some Advil and a glass of water. “Take these.” She held out the glass.
Carol groaned. “I hate water. I’ll just get up and take them with some coke or something.”
“That is so bad for you. You’re going to have to eat healthier if you’re planning to grow a baby inside that body.”
Butterflies immediately fluttered around the spot where Crystal had just touched her tummy. “Are you serious?”
“Yes. I still think we should wait a month as planned but it won’t hurt to make a few plans in the meantime.”
“Ahh!” Carol jumped up onto her knees, her sore bottom and her headache forgotten in her excitement. “I love you so much.”
“If you’re well enough, I have a little surprise for you out on the counter. Close your eyes.”
“It’s not the same surprise that was on there yesterday is it?”
Crystal laughed. “No silly, that’s over. I’m hoping you like this surprise.”
Curiosity had Carol out of bed in a second. She took hold of the hand that Crystal held out for her and followed her from the room. “Is it breakfast? I am kind of hungry.”
“No, it isn’t breakfast.”
“I hate surprises. No, I love them, well it depends what they are.”
“Have a seat and open your eyes.”
Carol hissed slightly when her bottom made contact with the hard wooden chair. “What’s all this paperwork?”
“I know you had your heart set on finding a donor and picking out the traits you wanted for the baby.”
“It was something that made me feel like I might get there one day.”
“Yes, well I want you to know that this is only a suggestion. If you want to start from scratch, we can do that. This is your show and we can do it any way you want.”
“Yes but what’s this paperwork?”
“I’m getting to that. Patience.” Crystal tapped Carol’s leg. “When Bri was conceived, it only took me a couple of turns to get pregnant.”
“Yes I remember.”
“Well there was still frozen sperm left. My mom paid to keep that sperm stored in case I, we, wanted to use it again.”
“What’s that mean?”
“Like I said, it’s just a suggestion. The sperm is still there in the lab if you wanted to use it to conceive with this baby.”
“The sperm from the donor that we used with Brianna?”
“Yes.”
“Brianna’s biological-” Carol’s eyes were wide.
“Yes.”
“That would mean that if I used that sperm, that Brianna would have a sibling that was at least partly a real sibling.” Carol’s eyes filled with tears. It seemed that she, the person that didn’t really cry much at all had done nothing but cry this weekend. “That would be amazing.”
“It would. I don’t want to make this all about me but this is probably the closest we’ll get to being a real family. What do you think?”
“Yes of course.”
Carol opened the envelope and spread the sheets of paper out on the counter. “There’s photos in here,” she said.
“Photos of the donor when he was a child. You weren’t interested at the time, you said it was gross to look at a seed donor.”
“I was kid, what can I say. Wow, she has his hair coloring and your eyes.”
“He’s tall,” Carol said. “Good, he or she might skip out on inheriting my height.”
“I love you just the way you are.”
“Thanks but this baby could be a boy you know. You don’t want him to be five-foot tall.”
“A boy huh?” Crystal said with a grin. “You know we could probably do with a little balance in this house. I could imagine having a son.”
“I want to do it now.”
“Nope. We’re going to get you in good shape first.”
“But people have gotten pregnant for centuries without having to watch what they eat or exercise first.”
“I’m not going to argue with you on this, baby.”
“Well I did learn something with all my research.”
“What’s that?” Crystal smiled.
“I don’t want to conceive in a doctor’s office. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I know that’s how you chose to do it; how lots of people choose to do it, but I like the thought of the other way better.”
“With a turkey baster? You can’t be serious.”
“Not exactly a turkey baster. I want to try at home, with candles and music and I want you to do it.”
“Me.”
“Well who else?” The sarcastic section of her brain was just dying to suggest her friends would do it for her but luckily the common-sense part overpowered it. “I don’t want anyone else but you to do it, certainly not some doctor that I barely know.”
“So you do remember how the baby comes out? People are going to be looking down there.”
“Well sure I know that. It isn’t the looking, it’s the you being involved. I want you there from the beginning.”
“That’s sweet.”
“And I want a home birth.”
“Oh crap,” Crystal said, opening her eyes wider than Carol had ever seen them.
* * * * *
“Oh my God! I thought we might never see you again.” Jen rushed up to Carol and encased her in a big bear hug. “I’m so sorry. Brock made me tell him.”
“It’s fine. Going to the city like that and signing papers, using bank accounts and giving fax numbers-what the hell were we thinking?”
“Not a lot it seems.”
“Sorry if we pressured you,” Erin said. “I think we all just got wrapped up in some of the excitement.”
“Was it bad?” Sienna asked. “Your punishment I mean.”
“It wasn’t great but I’ve had worse.” She didn’t want to go into it this time. It would mean bringing Crystal’s jealousy of Jen out into the open and that wouldn’t help anything at all. They were all in a good place now, so some things were better just left alone.
“So what was decided?” Jen asked. “About the baby?”
“Well, I have so much to tell you about that.”
“So you’re gonna go ahead with it then?” Erin asked. “With the donor we found?”
“Yes and no. Yes we’re going to go ahead but not with the donor we found.” Carol went on to explain about Bri’s donor and what they’d decided. “So Crystal brought home a leaflet for a women’s center in Boulder that has classes for people planning to get pregnant.”
“What do they teach you; the facts of life?”
“That wouldn’t apply to us anyway, dork.” Carol gave Sienna a friendly shove. “No, it’s all about being at your healthiest before you get pregnant.”
“I see green vegetables in your future, hon,” Jen said with a smile.
“Don’
t forget exercise.”
“Yoga,” Sienna added.
“That won’t be a problem at least,” Carol said. “I coach little kids soccer remember?”
“My daughter is on your team. I’m not sure that standing there with a whistle counts as exercise though, I’m thinking yoga.”
“I run.”
“I’d love to be a fly on the wall,” Sienna said. “Can we come?”
“Not this time. This is just for Crystal and me,” Carol said. “We need to do this together.”
“Fair enough,” Jen said. “Take pictures though, okay?”
Carol giggled. “Selfies. Oh and I didn’t tell you the best part! I want to have a home birth.”
* * * * *
“This place could be part of my hippy fantasy,” Carol said as they walked into the older style house. It wasn’t a hippy that answered the door though but a woman that looked to be in her early sixties.
“I think your hippy fantasy should be kept at home.”
“It may just be the only thing that helps me get through this,” Carol said dramatically. “I still don’t see why all this is necessary. I bet your mother and mine didn’t go to classes before they were even pregnant.”
“You’re probably right. They didn’t have dvd players, iPods or flat screen TVs either. Maybe we should get rid of all the modern conveniences and live in the past. Two lesbian women would have done really well in those times trying to get pregnant.”
“No, I’ll take my chances in the modern world I guess.”
“If we have the chance to learn more, to give our baby a better chance. Isn’t that worth it?”
Carol winced. “It’ll be full of straight people that look at us funny and ask us how we’re going to make this happen.”
“We’ll just smile and say with a little luck and a whole lot of love, like everyone else. We don’t have to elaborate, this is no one else’s business. We’re here for the knowledge.”
“You know I think you missed your calling. You should have been a sales person.”
“Hmmm. I could sell Avon door to door.” Crystal slapped Carol’s bottom.
“Hey! We’re not in Corbin’s Bend now. Someone might see.”
“Then behave and you won’t have anything to worry about.”
“The door to the large older style house was open. “I guess we go right in?” Carol said, peering through the doorway.
“Yeah, I suppose so.” Crystal took Carol’s hand and marched through the doorway.
“Hello.” A woman that looked about sixty came out from one of the rooms. “I’m assuming you’re here for the pre conception class?”
“Yes,” Crystal said, shaking the woman’s outstretched hand. “I’m Crystal and this is my partner Carol.”
“Pleased to meet you, Carol. I’m Grace. Come in. There’s another couple inside and the rest should be here in a minute. If you don’t mind me asking, which of you is planning to fall pregnant?”
“That would be me,” Carol said, smiling besides her reservations. “Nice to meet you too.”
“This is Jake and Amanda.”
“Hi guys,” Jake said.
“Hi,” Crystal said. “Crystal and Carol.”
“So, been through this before?” Amanda asked. “It’s our first time.”
“This is our second baby but the first time we’ve done this course.”
“Cos we look like we don’t know how to take care of ourselves,” Amanda said.
“Exactly.”
“Was this your idea or Crystal’s?”
“Crystal’s.”
“Yeah this was Jake’s idea. It seemed like a good idea to him, if I, got healthier. Well he’s going to do all this with me. I’m not going to be the only parent here. If we’re sharing this child, we’re sharing whatever they have in mind for us here.”
“Yeah, although I think Crystal will love it. She’s pretty much healthy all the time.”
“So I’m guessing you’re the one who’s going to have the baby?”
“Yeah. How’d you guess?”
“Because you’re the one that got dragged here to the healthy classes.”
“It’s not just about health,” Jake said. “It’s about being prepared.”
“Of course it is,” Amanda said with a smile.
“It’ll be fun,” Crystal said. “All you have to do is listen and keep an open mind.”
The class wasn’t as bad as Carol imagined. She did try and listen and keep her mind open. There was something about people when they stand in front of you and talk.
“Should I be asking you questions like I do with Bri after she reads?”
“Nope.”
“I think some of this stuff might be fun.”
“Maybe. The people seemed nice.”
“Yeah, they did and we weren’t the only lesbian couple.”
“So I was thinking with the diet thing.”
“What were you thinking?”
“That we should ease into this. Like mix some of the healthy raw foods with the foods we like.”
“Like?”
“Well, like taco salad. It has salad, and cheese, there’s your dairy right there.”
“And fried tortilla shells, and goodness knows what’s inside that seasoning.”
Carol poked out her tongue. “That’s what makes the raw stuff taste good.”
“I tell you what, we’ll work on adjusting some recipes to make them healthy?”
“That should be easy peasy, just take out anything that tastes good.”
“Good food doesn’t have to taste bad.”
“So how about cake and coffee and stuff?”
“Were you listening at all? Decaf.”
“Well be prepared for me to be a bear if I can’t have caffeine in the morning.”
“Noted. Be prepared to be spanked.”
“No fair!”
“Yes it is, all of this is about self-control. Look at the bigger picture.”
* * * * *
“So, how was your class?” Jen asked.
“It was fine,” Carol said, rolling her eyes. “This week we talked about nutrition.”
“Oh goody. Does that mean you can’t have any of Ange’s sweets?”
“Um, maybe,” Carol said, the resolve she brought with her already crumbling. “Her stuff is all natural.”
“Yeah and there’s fruit in this one,” Erin said, offering her an apple tart.
“I don’t know,” Carol said. “I’ll just make myself some instant decaf coffee and I’ll decide.”
“Decaf,” Sienna said. “You are being a good girl.”
“Yes I am.”
“So what’s on the agenda next week?”
“At the class?” Carol asked. “Not too sure. I think exercise or something. But I do know that I have to see Dr Marcus.”
“To co-ordinate the donor I suppose.”
“No, to help co-ordinate me,” Carol said. “Apparently I need blood work and vaccinations. Nobody said anything about shots.”
“Rubella?” Jen asked.
“You knew about this and you didn’t say anything?”
“I didn’t think it was a big deal.” Jen giggled. “Don’t be a baby. It’s just a little shot.”
“And the whole dragging blood out of my arm. They talk about you needing to take iron so you don’t get anemic and then they suck out the blood you have. How does that work?”
“Oh you’re going to be a wonderful patient when you’re giving birth.”
“I just don’t like doctors, surgeries, and hospitals.”
“Really,” Erin said.
“So how are you going to go about getting the baby in there and then getting it out again?” Sienna asked.
“The natural way. Well as natural as possible. Crys and I will do the baby making at home and that’s where we’ll bring our baby into the world.”
“But, hon, you know sometimes it’s not that easy. A doctor might need to intervene.”
“I’m not going to put our baby at risk. If that has to happen, then it does and I will go to the hospital with nary a complaint but while my world is perfect, I’m planning a home birth.”
“Exciting!”
“Yes it is isn’t it? Except for the needles. I’m still trying to convince Crystal that none of that is necessary.”
“Yeah, well good luck with that.”
“I might need it.”
* * * * *
“I don’t feel well,” Carol said, pulling the comforter over her head.
“You’re being a baby.”
“No, I’m not. I’m sick. I think I’m coming down with something.”
“Uh huh. I think they call that an attack of chicken stubbonitis.” Crystal smacked the hump in the bed. “I’m going to take Brianna to school and you better be up, showered, dressed and waiting for me by the time I get back.”
“What if I can’t.”
“Then I’ll be making you take some medicine and I have to warn you it’ll come with my biggest wooden spoon.”
Carol whipped the bedding off her face. “You can’t spank a person for being sick,” she said indignantly.
“You can spank a person for faking being sick.”
“Has anyone ever told you that you’re mean?”
“Yes. Don’t forget that mean person insisted you eat your vegetables and that person that went for a walk with you, even though they’d done a twelve hour shift. I think that person also went to a yoga class even though she’d spent half the day in the gym at work.”
“I guess you mean well.”
“Yes I do. I could be wrong but if there’s even a chance that it helps you to fall pregnant quicker and to give our baby a better chance at being healthy, isn’t it worth it?”
“Yes, you know I think it is but I have to tell you, that sounds very much like emotional blackmail.”
“If it does, I don’t mean it that way but the bottom line is, pun intended, that I’m the one in charge here, so that makes me the automatic winner of this argument. We have an appointment, now get ready.” She punctuated the end of her sentence with a sharp smack.