by Livia Grant
“What, it could have been worse than being belted?”
“Unfortunately. Listen, I’m not proud of this and under normal circumstances, I would tell you it’s none of your business, but you and I got off to a rather strange start. I feel bad that you seem to think that my brother is the devil incarnate for spanking me. Can I trust you to keep what I am about to tell you confidential? It would be very embarrassing for me should it get out and more than that, I’m afraid it could damage the confidence the people in Corbin’s Bend have in me.”
“Wow, that sounds pretty serious. You don’t have to tell me, Traci, but if you do, I would never tell anyone. It’s none of their damn business.”
“Friday was my thirtieth birthday. A few of my friends had taken me out for a very nice lunch to celebrate, but everyone had plans that night and I confess, I was feeling sorry for myself that I was turning thirty and haven’t found my Mr. Right yet. I decided to go out to celebrate on my own. I went to a bar and flirted and ended up picking up a stranger. Worse, I was stupid enough to drive home after drinking several drinks, but had Troy not been here waiting, who knows what that guy would have done to me once he got me alone here in my house.”
“Holy shit. When you cut one loose, you do it good.”
“I’ve never done anything like that before, and I’d like to think that I would have never done it ever again regardless, but Troy being here just made sure I’ll never forget the lesson.”
Hallie feels weird even asking. “So… Troy and you. I mean, wasn’t it weird? He’s your brother, right?”
“I know what you are thinking so let me stop you right there. Troy had never given me a spanking before and I pray he never has to ever again. It was a one-time deal for us. You just have to know that we grew up in a DD family. Our parents were the best example of a loving marriage based on respect and love. It carried over to our whole family. We all knew that Dad was the head of our house. Like Troy said, if Dad had been here waiting for me to get home that night, I wouldn’t have sat down for a week, and the scary thing is, he’s probably right. Troy was easy on me compared to Dad.”
She may not understand why, but the flutter in Hallie’s tummy has migrated lower as the discussion has continued. “So you really aren’t mad at him?”
“Mad? No. I love him for being brave enough to do what he knew I needed that night. I’m embarrassed that he caught me making one of the biggest mistakes I’ve ever made. I’m worried that it might make things a little weird between us for a while, although he stayed the weekend and everything seemed back to normal by the time he left.”
“So, my Aunt Gina really does let Uncle Adam spank her too?”
Traci looks more uncomfortable. “I think you need to talk to her about that, Hallie. Even if she and I had discussed it in the past, I wouldn’t feel comfortable talking about that with you. I’m sure you understand. I do encourage you to talk to her about it though. More importantly, I’d like you to watch the couples and families as you interact with them here in town. Then compare what you see to many of the other people you’ve met in the past, and then we can talk about the differences you notice, okay?”
Hallie’s heart has spiked. “What the hell? You mean everyone spanks each other out in public for everyone to watch?”
Traci is laughing at her again. “No silly. Well, I guess you might see a swat here or there, but that’s not what I’m talking about. I mean to look at how happy everyone is. How peaceful things are. Outsiders think Corbin’s Bend is more violent because we believe in corporal punishment but the irony is, the discipline we follow actually keeps angst to a minimum. That’s what I’d like you to see if you can pick up on and maybe we can talk about that on Wednesday when we get back together.”
The women talk for another thirty minutes before Aunt Gina joins them for a final coffee. Hallie’s head is swimming with new information by the time she heads to her new home with Aunt Gina. She has so much to think about.
* * * * *
One week later, the weather is nice enough for Hallie to walk for the first time to Traci’s house. In some ways, it feels like she’s been living in Corbin’s Bend for much longer than she has. She’s sure it’s because the people in town have all welcomed her with open arms.
At first she thought everyone was stopping by Aunt Gina’s just to meet her and get the gossip on the young woman who had burst into Traci Jackson’s house in the middle of the night. But as the week progressed and Aunt Gina would take her on visits to her friend’s houses, Hallie had started to realize this was the norm for the quiet town nestled in the mountains of Colorado.
Hallie has never felt safer than here in Corbin’s Bend, yet she’s begun to recognize an uneasiness within herself that she’s been reluctant to examine too closely. Traci has danced around it with her during the two other sessions they’ve had together and now, on her way to Traci’s on this new Monday morning, she wonders if she might figure it out today.
The piles of snow lining the streets are melting in the vibrant December sunlight, making Hallie choose her steps carefully to avoid the slushy puddles encountered on her way to Traci’s. She needs to zigzag across several tree-lined streets to reach Spanking Loop.
She’s about two blocks away when she hears the unmistakable sounds of a woman crying out. Several long seconds of silence have her wondering if she’d imagined the whole thing before the sound of a loud crack followed by an even louder wail of pain breaks the silence of Corbin’s Bend. Over and over in a steady rhythm, paddle… cry… paddle… cry…
Hallie stands rooted, unsure what to do. As the sounds of a harsh punishment filter down through an open window, she has to fight down unwanted and conflicting emotions. Her brain is furious for the poor woman being abused. She has to resist her natural urge to take action, although what action that might be escapes her as she stands on the sidewalk in Corbin’s Bend, Colorado, a community founded for people who believe in corporal punishment of submissive partners.
Her brain sees this issue as cut and dry. Spankings are violent and therefore they are abuse. Period. She tries valiantly to hold onto her anger as she remembers what the abuse had felt like at the hands of her step-father and more recently her ex-boyfriend, but having lived through true abuse, she begrudgingly acknowledges that what’s happening behind closed doors on this sunny morning feels different. Her last trace of anger fizzles away when the thrashing finishes and the clear sound of passionate sex replaces the pounding punishment.
Hallie resents the flutter she gets in her nether region every time she is confronted with anything having to do with corporal punishment. The flutter turns to pulsing sexual need as she eavesdrops on the couple crying out in joint passion. She is acutely aware of an imaginary ache centered surprisingly not in her sex, but at the tender place where her ass meets her thighs. With shame, she feels the tingling in her pussy as she imagines being bent over on the receiving end of a correction like is in progress in the house she’s standing in front of. As unsettling as it is to feel the cream gathering between her legs, her pulse heats up when she realizes it’s always Troy Jackson she imagines standing behind her, delivering the spanking. She reasons with herself that it’s only because she has a clear picture of what he looks like in action, but if she’s honest with herself, she knows that’s only part of the story.
She’s spent hours talking with Traci and Aunt Gina trying to understand why women would ever want to live in a place like Corbin’s Bend. She’d started with the intention of convincing them they were both crazy, but in one short week, their gentle reassurances about the values of the DD way of life already have her doubting her own conviction. Both women have assured her there is nothing wrong or even unusual with how she feels. While she still doesn’t understand how she can feel both dread and excitement at the thought of a punishment, she’s coming to terms that she can no longer deny at least to herself that the thoughts of a punishment excites her on some level. With the history of real violence in her pas
t, these feelings are more than confusing.
Hallie resumes her walk to Traci’s, anxious to escape her inner turmoil. The second Traci opens the door, the emotions she had been holding in bubble up and Hallie finds herself with unwanted tears streaming down her face.
“Come on in and tell me what’s wrong.” Traci ushers her in.
“I’m just being silly. It’s nothing.”
She has her coat off and they are headed to the kitchen. Hallie swipes at her tears, trying to downplay the effect of the walk over. As always, Traci has a coffee waiting.
“So, what happened?”
“It’s warm out there.” She takes a sip of her coffee to calm her nerves.
Traci is confused. “And that’s reason to cry?”
Hallie hedges. “Some people have their windows open.”
Instant recognition. “Oh boy. You walked over past Danelle and Carrie Ann’s.”
“Who are Danelle and Carrie Ann?”
“They are a couple here in town. Danelle is the HoH and let’s just say that Carrie Ann is disciplined… often… loudly. It’s kind of their thing.”
“What do you mean, their thing?”
“Exhibitionism. Everyone here is pretty open about the lifestyle, but most keep the details behind closed doors. Danelle and Carrie Ann are a little less private. Parents of young children who may not understand the dynamics of Corbin’s Bend yet have learned to steer their kids clear of their block when the weather is nice enough to have the windows open. You never know what you might hear.”
“So everyone knows about this and it’s okay?”
“Theirs is a consensual relationship, Hallie. Just like the outside world, no two relationships are exactly the same, but we are accepting of all types here in Corbin’s Bend. We have several couples who live a BDSM lifestyle and other couples who live a domestic discipline lifestyle, but don’t incorporate spanking, choosing to use other less severe punishments instead, and every flavor of DD in between. Each couple has to figure out what it means for them on their own through communication.”
The women sit in silence for a while as Hallie thinks things over. She finally breaks the silence. “I’m pretty sure Aunt Gina got spanked last night.” Hallie is embarrassed, choosing to look at her coffee mug instead of her new friend and therapist.
“What makes you say that? Did you hear the punishment?”
“Not really. I could just tell at dinner Uncle Adam was not happy about something when he got home and they excused themselves right after dinner to go up to their bedroom, which was out of the ordinary. They were gone over an hour and when they came back down, I could tell Aunt Gina had been crying and she seemed to wiggle a lot while she was sitting watching TV with us.”
“Did you talk to her about it yet?”
“No. It just seems like it’s none of my business, you know?”
“Maybe, but she knows how much you’re struggling with the whole idea of DD and trying to decide if you want to stay here in Corbin’s Bend after the first of the new year. She’s told me how worried she is that you’re going to want to leave. She really hopes you’ll stay in town with them. I keep trying to tell her to give you time. You are making progress.”
“Am I? Sometimes I wonder.”
“It’s only been a week, Hallie. How would you have acted a week ago if you’d heard Carrie Ann being paddled through that window?”
Hallie smiles. “I’d probably have rushed through the front door and tackled Danelle like I did Troy.”
Traci lets loose a hearty laugh. “Oh boy. What a memory that is. I’ll never forget the look on Troy’s face when you were on his back trying to strangle him.”
The girls spend a minute laughing about what, at the time, had been a very traumatic event for Hallie. That’s when she knows Traci is right. She has made a lot of progress in the last week.
Traci brings things back down with an unwelcome question. “So, are you ready to tell me about Gene yet?”
Hallie takes a deep cleansing breath. “You know, I think I am. I want him gone, and I’ve been carrying the baggage of him around with me for way too long.”
“So, your mom married him. How old were you at the time?”
“Sixteen. At first, I thought he was just a blow hard, but I soon figured out he was so much worse. He made us use all of Mom’s income to take care of the house and our living expenses because he said he wasn’t gonna pay to raise some other bastard’s kid. He then spent all of the money he made on himself.”
“Sounds like a real peach.”
“You don’t know the half of it. He was pretty big into gambling. He went out almost every night, often coming home late drunk and in a bad mood if he’d lost that night. At first, he would just take it out on Mom. Do you have any idea how I felt as a sixteen year old virgin having to sit in my room and listen to my mother being roughed up by that asshole before he would… well… he got off on really rough sex. I broke in there once when she was crying out for him to stop and fought him off of her, but he backhanded me hard enough that I saw stars. Then the asshole forced me to sit in a chair in the corner and watch him finish her off that night, telling me if I didn’t behave, he would do the same thing to me. That was my introduction to sex, watching my mother be basically raped by a man she was stupid enough to marry.”
“Oh, Hallie, I am so sorry, for you and your poor mother. What a terrible trauma for her to live through.”
“Thanks, but that was just the beginning. Things changed pretty quick after that night. He didn’t even try to hide what he was doing to Mom after that. In fact, I think he loved the humiliation we both felt being controlled and afraid of him. I begged her to leave him. I don’t think I’ll ever understand what happened to my mom those last few years of her life. It’s like she was brainwashed by him or something. She stopped even trying to fight back.”
“Oh, Hallie. It breaks my heart that you had to go through seeing your mother as a battered wife. I have treated several women that have been able to recover, but I saw first hand how hard it was for them to fight through their fear. Still, I’d have hoped she could have kicked him out if not for herself, then for you.”
Hallie feels the tears pooling as she remembers her mom. “She tried. Once. After a really bad night, she called a locksmith and had all of the locks changed while he was at work. We boxed up his shit and put it outside. I was so proud of her that day.”
“So what happened?” Traci’s quiet prodding helps Hallie keep going.
“He came back, all apologetic with flowers, promising he would change and that he would get help for his gambling addiction. She bought his line of bullshit. Things were better for a few weeks, but then went back to the way they’d been before, if not worse. By then it was my senior year and I had hoped to just make it until I could move away to go to college. Looking back, Aunt Gina offered to let me come live with them after graduation. I wish I’d taken her up on the offer, but I ended up staying home. I felt guilty leaving Mom there alone with him, you know?”
“She made her choices, Hallie. I’m sure she would have been happy for you to get away from him. What happened to your mom?”
“About a year after I graduated from high school, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She hadn’t been feeling good for a while. I had begged her to go to the doctor, but she was so afraid to go because she knew she would have to explain the bruises all over her body. By the time they found it, she was already stage four. She only lasted a few months. I don’t think she was afraid of dying, but I know she was terrified of leaving me alone with Gene. She made me promise to leave and go live with Aunt Gina, but the very night of Mom’s funeral, Gene tried to rape me. The bastard actually thought I was going to take Mom’s place, can you believe that shit? I fought him off and went over to Eddie’s. We really weren’t all that serious, but I had spent a lot of time with him and the band to avoid going home. They were just about to leave on their first tour, basically playing beer gardens across the so
uth. We traveled in two cargo vans. Slept in tents in camp grounds more often than real beds.”
“Sounds like an adventure.”
“Honestly, it was fun. At least more fun than the last couple of years before had been.”
“What happened with Eddie? How did you find yourself driving across country in the middle of the night in a snow storm to get help?”
Her heart contracts. She understands how it’s said that people can have a broken heart. That is what Eddie did to her’s, but not the way most would think. Eddie had been her friend first, and the loss of his friendship is what cuts her to her core. “I started feeling less and less like his girlfriend and more and more like his mother about a year ago. He was so fun before he started having some success. I’ve heard that fame can change people. He hasn’t even become that famous yet, but he’s already out of control. It started with him fucking around with groupies that would follow the band from gig to gig. At first I tried to pretend it wasn’t happening, but eventually, I’d had enough. We pretty much broke up, but I stayed on as the band manager. It was like trying to herd a bunch of grown children around the country, trying to keep them sober and showing up to shows on time. Still, I helped get them a recording deal and then landed them the opening gig for Matchbox 20. They really are talented and they have what it takes to make it big, but they are hell bent on throwing it all away.”
“That must really make you angry to see them messing up something that you’ve put so much time into.”
“I’m fucking furious, at all of them, but especially Eddie. They’d all started drinking and doing drugs so much that it was starting to remind me of being surrounded by a whole group of Genes every night. I had told them if they were going to keep doing drugs, I was going to be out of there. The night I left, they’d taken Gopher, the car, out to try to find a score. They actually missed the whole fucking opening show. Blew it off. Left me there to get reamed out by the tour manager. When they dragged themselves back to the bus hours later, I already had my one bag packed. I had planned on bluffing, trying to scare them all into cleaning up their act or I was going to leave. I told them the record company was done putting up with their shit and they would be replacing me with someone who could control them. Well, my threat didn’t turn out the way I thought it would.”