She put a spoonful of tea leaves into the pot while she waited for the water to boil. As she reached for a mug, she almost called out to ask Madeline if she wanted tea, then remembered Madeline was gone.
The wave of agony was sharp and fresh. It cut through her, slicing away her strength until she could only collapse and slide toward the ground.
But instead of falling, she was caught in strong arms. She turned and saw Reid standing there.
Gratitude replaced a little of the pain. She threw herself at him.
“You came back.”
“I had to,” he said, his eyes dark with emotion. “To tell you I’m sorry. I know this is all my fault. I know I’m the reason she’s gone.”
The kettle began to whistle. Lori released him and turned off the burner.
His fault? How could he think that? “You don’t have anything to do with Madeline dying.”
“I found the donor. I pushed for the surgery. I made it happen. She wasn’t ready. She made that clear. If I hadn’t pushed, she could have survived another year.”
Lori supposed a soft, gentle caring response was in order, but she was too stressed. She folded her arms over her chest and shook her head.
“I’ve always suspected you had delusions of grandeur, but I never expected this. Madeline died because her heart stopped beating. That’s it. Unless you have a direct line to God and put in a request to end my sister’s life, you had nothing to do with it.”
“But I—”
“Stop,” she told him. “Just stop. Madeline was going to die from her disease. One way or the other, she was lost to us. Do you know what it’s like to live day after day, knowing the end is coming? Sure, we’re all going to die eventually, but most of us get to pretend that moment is a long way off. We get to live normal lives. But that wasn’t going to happen for her. She was going to get more and more sick. The liver cleans the body from the inside. So she would get more toxic as time went on. Massive bruises would cover her torso. She would be poisoned to death by her own body.”
She dropped her arms to her side, but she didn’t touch him. She wanted him to listen, to not be distracted by anything else.
“You gave her what no one else could, Reid. You gave her hope. In fact you gave it to all of us. Don’t ever make that less than it is. Hope is everything. Hope is a miracle.”
“So if you don’t blame me, why did you send me away?”
“What? I didn’t,” she said. “I thought you wanted to be gone. I know I’ve been caught up mourning Madeline. It just seemed like you would want to be somewhere else.”
He glared at her. “Dammit, Lori, why do you always do that? Why do you assume I’m here because it’s convenient or easy? Why do you think I’m going to disappear at the first sign of trouble?”
His temper surprised her, as did her reaction to it. She was more than ready to fight. “Because you have a long history of taking the easy way out. We’ve talked about it. You don’t hang around when things get difficult.”
“In my past,” he said. “When, with you, have I ever flaked out?”
Good question. “You haven’t had the chance.”
“Oh, great. So you’re just waiting around for me to screw up? Because that’s what I do, right?”
“No. I don’t mean that.” She didn’t. Not exactly.
“So what did you mean? You dumped me before I could dump you?”
“No,” she told him. “I’m in mourning here.”
“A convenient excuse.”
“You should know—you’re the king of them.”
He shook his head. “You talk about me. Sure I’ve spent my life taking the easy way out. Well, you’ve spent your life not even trying. At least I show up.”
The unfairness and the truthfulness of the statement cut her. “You don’t know anything about me,” she said, her voice getting loud. “You don’t know what it’s like to live in someone’s shadow.”
“Bullshit,” he said in a low voice. “You called me on using my sad past with Jenny as an excuse to hide. Allow me to return the favor. You stopped hanging out in Madeline’s shadow a long time ago. Sure the story worked while you were still a kid, but you’ve been on your own for a long time now. You have a career, a house, you’re more than capable of taking on the world. So why are you so damned afraid to step up and take a chance?”
How could he be hounding her like this? Didn’t he know what she was going through?
“Why were you always so convinced that I could never really want you?” he asked when she didn’t say anything.
“Because you couldn’t,” she yelled.
“So this has all just been a game? I’m playing you?”
“Maybe,” she muttered.
“Maybe?”
“Yes,” she told him. “Yes, this is easy and convenient and fun and when it gets hard, you won’t be here.”
Then she started to cry because as she said the words aloud, she knew that the last couple of weeks had been hard and he’d been with her every step of the way. He’d never flinched from any of the emotional messiness. She’d been the one hiding, the one afraid to believe she was worth loving.
“If that’s what you really think,” he said quietly, “then I don’t belong here.”
He turned to leave.
It was like drowning. In that second, Lori saw her entire life flash before her. But it wasn’t the years she’d already lived—it was the years to come. The old, empty years of regret. Years where she would search the local papers for some word of Reid. Where she would waste her life wondering how things could have been different.
She could see herself hiding in a crowd, hoping to catch a glimpse of him, wishing he would look up and see her and give her another chance. She could see years of playing it safe.
“Don’t go!”
She ran into the living room and grabbed his arm before he could reach the front door. “Don’t go. Please. Don’t.”
She brushed at the tears in her eyes so she could see him. “Reid, don’t go. I love you. I love you so much. I’m terrified you’ll leave and I’ll never survive that. So I thought it was better to get over you now. To hold back, to push you away. I’m afraid. But that’s not fair to either of us. I’ve always hidden because it was easy and safe. But it’s lonely and not how I want to live my life anymore.”
“What if I don’t love you back?” he asked.
She felt cold all over. “Then you’re really stupid,” she said, trying for bravado and failing. “It’ll hurt, but I’ll recover. It’s easier to get over a heartbreak than it is to try to heal from regrets. And I would regret pushing you away. I’d regret it for the rest of my life.”
She decided to be more honest with him than she’d ever been with anyone…including herself. “I’ve spent too long not trying. Giving up instead of risking. That stops now. I love you, no matter what. You are a part of who I am.”
“I love you, too.”
She blinked at him. “You do?”
“I do. I love you in a way I’ve never loved anyone. You bring out the best in me, Lori. You don’t let me get away with anything. You’re not easy, but you’re the greatest time I’ve ever had.” He grabbed her hands, raised them and kissed her knuckles.
“I love you,” he repeated. “Seriously, deeply, forever. I only want to be with you. I want to marry you. I want to have babies with you.”
“I love you so much,” she said as she threw her arms around him and pressed close. “How could I not? You’re everything to me.”
He grabbed her upper arms and held her far enough away so that he could see her face. “Yeah?”
She smiled. “Yeah.”
“And you’ll marry me?”
“Yes.”
Something light and warm brushed against her arm. It wasn’t Reid and the air wasn’t blowing. Still she felt the touch and knew she’d made the right choice. For the first time since her sister died, her heart was at peace.
Thank you, she said silent
ly.
The soft brush came again and with it, a faint whisper: “Be happy.”
If she hadn’t been saving money to stay home with Madeline, she wouldn’t have taken the job with Gloria. If she hadn’t taken the job, she would never have met Reid, wouldn’t have known what it was like to be loved by this man. She might never have found him, or herself.
For the first time in her life she knew what she wanted and where she belonged. With Reid. She’d finally reached the place where she could not only believe in him…she could believe in both of them.
Turn the page for a look at Susan Mallery’s next enticing Buchanan family novel…TEMPTING
Chapter One
“LET ME MAKE THIS easy for you,” the man in the expensive tailored suit told Dani Buchanan. “You don’t get to speak to the senator until you tell me why you’re here.”
“Amazingly enough, that information doesn’t make things easier,” Dani murmured. She’d already talked her way through a receptionist and two assistants. She could actually see Mark Canfield’s door just down the hall. But standing between her and it was a big, determined-looking guy.
She thought about pushing past him, but he was pretty tall and she wasn’t. Not to mention the fact that she’d actually worn a dress and high heels—neither of which were normal for her. The dress was no big deal, but the heels were killing her. She could handle the pain in the balls of her feet and the slight pulling in her arches, but how did anyone stay balanced on these things? If she moved at anything faster than a stroll, she was in danger of snapping an ankle.
“You can trust me,” the man said. “I’m a lawyer.”
Dani smiled. “A profession designed to inspire trust? I don’t think so.”
His lips twitched as if he were holding in a smile. A good sign, she thought. Maybe she could charm her way past this guy after all. Not that she’d ever been especially good at charming men, but if she could fake it, that would be enough.
She drew in a breath and tossed her head. Of course, her hair was cut short, which meant there was no flip over her shoulder. Which left Dani completely out of charming-men-type tricks. Good thing she’d sworn off dating for the rest of her life.
“Think of me as the dragon at the gate,” the man said. “You’re not getting past me until I know your business.”
“Didn’t anyone ever tell you that dragons are extinct?”
Now he did smile. “I’m living proof they’re alive and well.”
Fine, she thought absently. Which was better than well. He had a nice face—handsome enough that you wouldn’t turn to stone looking at him, but not so pretty that he wouldn’t need to develop a personality. Killer blue eyes. A strong jaw, which meant stubborn.
“I’m here for personal reasons,” she said, knowing that wasn’t going to be enough, but feeling the need to try.
Dragon-man’s face tightened as he crossed his arms over his chest. Dani had the instant sensation of being shut out and judged, all at the same time.
“I don’t think so,” the man said sharply. “The senator doesn’t play those kind of games. You’re wasting your time. Get the hell out of here.”
Dani stared at him. “Huh?” What was he…Oh. “You think I’m implying the senator and I—” She grimaced. “Yuck. No! Never. Ew.” She took a step back, a dangerous act considering the shoes, but she had no choice. Distance was required. “That is too disgusting for words.”
“Why?”
She sighed. “Because there’s a chance I’m his daughter.” Better than a chance.
Suit-guy didn’t even blink. “You’d do better to imply you were sleeping with him. I’d be more inclined to believe you.”
“Who are you to pass judgment on what Mark Canfield may or may not have been doing twenty-nine years ago?”
“I’m his son.”
That got her attention. “Alex, I presume?”
Dragon-guy nodded.
Interesting. Not that she and the senator’s oldest son were related. Mark Canfield and his wife had adopted all their children, including Alex. But it was possible they were family.
Dani wasn’t sure how she felt about that. Dealing with her known family was complicated enough. Did she want to take on another one?
The sense of needing to belong by blood burned hot enough to give her the answer. If Mark Canfield really was her father, she wanted to get to know him, and no one was going to get in her way. Not even his oldest and unrelated-to-her son.
“I’ve been patient through one secretary and two assistants,” she said firmly. “I’ve been polite and understanding. If nothing else, I’m a registered voter in this state and I have every right to see my senator. Now if you’ll just step aside, before I’m forced to escalate the situation.”
“Are you threatening me?” Alex asked, sounding almost amused.
“Would it work?” she asked.
He slowly looked her up and down. In the past six months she’d learned that male attention was not a positive thing in her life. It inevitably ended in disaster. But even though she’d sworn off men, she still felt a little quiver as his steady gaze drifted across her body.
“No, but it might be fun,” he said.
“You are such a guy.”
“Is that a bad thing?”
“You have no idea. Now step aside, dragon-boy. I’m going to see Mr. Canfield.”
“Dragon-boy?”
The amused voice hadn’t come from the person in front of her. Dani turned toward the sound and saw a familiar man standing in front of an open door.
She recognized Senator Mark Canfield because she’d seen him on television. She’d even voted for him. But those acts had been from a distance. She’d never thought of him as more than a political figure. Now he was here and there was a very good chance he was her father.
She opened her mouth, then closed it. Words faded from her brain as if she’d just lost the power of speech.
The senator walked toward them. “Are you Dragon-boy, Alex?” he asked the younger man.
Alex shrugged, looking faintly uncomfortable. “I told her I was the dragon at the gate.”
The senator patted his much taller son on the back. “You do a good job, too. So is this young lady a particular threat?” He turned to Dani and smiled. “You don’t look especially threatening.”
“I’m not,” she managed.
“Don’t be so sure,” Alex told him.
Dani glared. “You’re being a little judgmental here.”
“You’re going to make trouble with your ridiculous claims.”
“Why are they ridiculous? You don’t know for sure, yet.”
“Do you?” Alex asked.
The senator looked at both of them. “Should I come back at a better time?”
Dani ignored Alex. “I’m sorry to barge in like this. I’ve been trying to make an appointment to see you but every time they ask me why, I can’t give them the real reason. I…”
The enormity of what she was about to do crashed in on her. How could she just blurt out what she’d been told? That twenty-nine years ago he’d had an affair with her mother and she was the result? He would never believe her. Why would he?
Mark Canfield frowned at her. “You look familiar. Have we met before?”
“Don’t even think about it,” Alex told her. “You don’t want to mess with me.”
She ignored him and turned to the senator. “We haven’t, but I believe you knew my mother. Marsha Buchanan. I look a little like her. I’m her daughter. And, I think, maybe yours.”
Secrets. Lies. Time to come clean…
Dani Buchanan is horrified when her father turns out to be a presidential candidate. And then the tabloids find out…
Katherine Canfield is unable to bear children. Dani’s a reminder of what Senator Canfield could have had – and Katherine’s jealous.
Adopted Canfield son Alex is tempted by Dani. With the scandal of the century brewing, can he pursue a relationship that could tear his family
apart?
The Balfour Legacy
EIGHT SISTERS, EIGHT SCANDALS
VOLUME 1 – JUNE 2010
Mia’s Scandal
by Michelle Reid
VOLUME 2 – JULY 2010
Kat’s Pride
by Sharon Kendrick
VOLUME 3 – AUGUST 2010
Emily’s Innocence
by India Grey
VOLUME 4 – SEPTEMBER 2010
Sophie’s Seduction
by Kim Lawrence
8 VOLUMES IN ALL TO COLLECT!
Introduced By Bestselling Author Katie Fforde
Four fabulous new writers
Lynn Raye Harris
Kept for the Sheikh’s Pleasure
Nikki Logan
Seven-Day Love Story
Molly Evans
Her No.1 Doctor
Ann Lethbridge
The Governess and the Earl
We know you’re going to love them!
New Voices
Do you dream of being a romance writer?
Mills & Boon are looking for fresh writing talent in our biggest ever search!
And this time…our readers have a say in who wins!
For information on how to enter or get involved go to
www.romanceisnotdead.com
“As far as I know, no one’s tried to kill me before.”
Famous artist Phillip Fairchild forges and sells famous works and is planning to sell the stolen Rembrandt which Adam Haines is investigating.
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