by Lex Martin
* * *
A lump in my throat forms every time I read those words.
A lump that forms into a boulder when I unfold the letter Logan sent me yesterday.
The one that describes how his father warned him away from me in high school because he thought we weren’t a good match. Because Mr. Carter thought I was too young and Logan too much of a player to ever settle down.
But the more I think about it, the more I wonder if that warning had more to do with Mr. Carter’s inability to curtail his wandering eye than Logan.
And to learn that conversation happened on the day Mr. Carter died? It explains so many things. Like why Logan stopped hanging out with me and started partying again. I mull over those words, and oddly, it helps me make sense of our past. Of the way Logan distanced himself from me after his father passed.
* * *
That’s one of my greatest regrets. I should’ve waited for you.
* * *
I’d always thought I’d imagined him liking me. That, like a lovesick teenager, I had deluded myself into seeing something that wasn’t there.
Knowing he had feelings for me back then stitches back something I didn’t know was broken.
My lips tug up when I open the notes Bev dropped off this morning.
* * *
I almost asked you to my senior prom. I’m still sorry I didn’t.
* * *
The first time I kissed you, I finally understood why people write love songs.
* * *
Excitement bolts through me when I think about seeing Logan today. I missed last night’s rehearsal dinner because I’d had a headache that concerned everyone. Even though it subsided by the time Kat and Brady left, we decided not to take any chances. That it was better if I was rested today.
Honestly, I’m prepared to drag myself down the aisle this evening if it’s the last thing I do.
Leaning closer to the mirror, I finger the angry scar across my hairline. The stitches just came out. I figure it doesn’t look that bad considering it’s been just a little over two weeks since that wackadoodle took a bat to my noggin.
Kat knocks on the door and pokes her head in. “Do you need any help loading up the truck?”
“No. I packed what I needed last night except the dress so I wouldn’t forget anything.” Because I’m not exactly a hundred percent. Sometimes my mind feels fuzzy, but I’ve sworn to Kat and Tori I’m well enough to do their hair for the ceremony. I’m sure as heck not going to let Samantha take this away from me.
When I’m alone again, I open the last new envelope.
* * *
I hope you’ll marry me someday and that our kids look like you. They’ll be hellraisers like me, no doubt. Sorry in advance if they are, but just think how much fun we’ll have wrangling our brood. I love you, Jo. I think I have for a while. I’m sorry I didn’t get my shit together sooner and figure it out. But I know what I want now. It’s you. It’ll always be you.
* * *
I wipe away the surprising tears that spring from my eyes. For the first time since I came face to face with Samantha at Logan’s, the words I haven’t been able to say to Logan rise in my heart.
49
Joey
Tori grins up at me. “My hair looks amazing. Thank you so much!” She leaps out of the chair and squishes me in a hug.
“Thank you for waiting for me,” I whisper in her ear, and she squeezes me tighter. “I’m sorry you had to go through so much trouble to reschedule everything. I hate that you lost the hotel—”
“Hush now. Of course we were gonna wait for you! You’re familia, girl.” She frantically waves her hand across her face. “Don’t make me cry!”
I grab a tissue to dot at the corners of her eyes and then mine. We agree not to chat about any more mushy stuff for the sake of our makeup.
In the next hour, I do Kat’s hair and one of the other girls’. There’s something so special about styling a bridal party. Being part of someone’s big day they’ll remember forever and having a small role in creating that magic is why I wanted to get into this business in the first place.
But doing their hair only distracts me from my thoughts of Logan for so long.
By the time I slip on my dress, I’m ramped up with anticipation. His notes have helped me see him in a new light and understand what he was going through.
And never, not once, did he mention the fact that I was gone for six months out of those two years he dealt with Samantha. Now that I’ve had time to reflect on what happened, I don’t blame him for not leveling me with this as soon as we started dating.
Ultimately, the letters were the perfect way to show he cared. That he missed me. That I’m someone he wants in his life.
That he won’t hold back from me anymore.
Those notes, those words, they’ve helped me find my footing again.
I touch my lips to tone down the smile that wants to break out.
Heather, the wedding coordinator, ushers us into the hallway, and butterflies take flight in my stomach.
Tori sniffs the air. “Someone is eating a hotdog. Dear God, hotdogs sound so good right now.”
I chuckle. “I swear you’re part bloodhound. I don’t smell hot dogs.”
“That hot dog is nearby, and when this shindig is over, I’m totally gonna hunt one down.”
“When this shindig is over, your husband is gonna toss you over his shoulder and run off with you to his lair,” I joke.
“Yeah. He is.” A dreamy look comes over her. “Fine. After the hot marital boning, Ethan and I are totally finding us some hot dogs.”
All of the girls laugh.
Mr. Duran joins us and wraps his daughter in a hug. “Mija, you’re stunning.” Tori’s hair is swept into an updo with a few soft tendrils framing her lovely face. She’s glowing in a strapless princess ball gown.
He lets her go, and Tori hooks an arm through his. “Thanks, old man. You don’t look too shabby either.”
Her dad quirks an eyebrow. “You know, Ethan can’t give you back after this. There are no returns.”
“Dad!” She playfully punches his shoulder, and he laughs.
The giant doors swing open, and my gaze darts around.
“This is way cooler than that dumb hotel,” Tori notes, taking in the beautiful reception hall.
When our friend Liberty heard that Ethan needed a wedding venue, she offered her grandparents’ bed-and-breakfast, which has an enormous barn that just got renovated to host events.
White billowing fabric and twinkle lights crisscross the vaulted ceiling and meet at the front, where a huge chandelier hangs over the dance floor area. Along the tables that circle the perimeter, candles shimmer in open mason jars next to giant arrangements of pale pink roses, freesia, and peonies, casting a warm backdrop for the magical evening.
The coordinator leads us across the shiny hardwood floors to the other end while we ooh and ahhh at the decorations, like the photos of Ethan and Tori set up on a short wooden ladder by the bridal table. At the top is a pic of him down on his knee last Christmas. The look on Tori’s face is priceless.
In the low light, I feel like I’m standing in someone’s fairytale.
Heather lines us up out of sight of the guests as the back doors creak open, slowly brightening the barn.
Beverly and Tori’s mom join us, and outside the music starts.
My heart kicks in excitement.
Bev is escorted down the aisle by one of her nephews, and I peek outside to see them make their way down a pebbled walkway, through the rows of guests, to a trellised archway where Ethan and the groomsmen wait.
“Holy shit,” whispers Shelby, one of the bridesmaids who flew in from out of town late last night. “This is so stinking pretty.”
Behind me, Tori pouts. “I wanna see.”
One of the girls tuts and makes Tori wait behind the partition.
Then Shelby bumps me with her elbow and lowers her voice. “Who are the sexy beas
ts standing next to the groom?”
Without looking, I know she must be talking about Logan and Brady.
Across the aisles, my eyes connect with Logan’s, and my heart beats triple time. He smiles, and it zaps me right in the chest. Suddenly, everything I’ve been wrestling with for the past two weeks, every moment of doubt and fear, every hesitation, dissolves. I smile. “That’s the groom’s brother Logan. He’s mine. The other one is Kat’s husband.”
When it’s my turn, I barely notice anything but Logan as I walk down the path. Sexy beast is right. Dang, he fills out that tux nicely.
When I reach the archway, Ethan gives me a big grin, and I whisper, “Good luck.”
Then my eyes go back to Logan, who puts his hand over his heart and mouths, “You are so beautiful.”
There are a million things I want to say, but the kids are about to walk down the aisle, so we turn to watch Cody and Zach, the ring bearers, make their way to the front.
Seeing how the Carters have welcomed Zach warms me in a way I wasn’t expecting. But of course they’d welcome him with open arms. That’s just the kind of people they are.
Ethan leans down to give both of the boys hugs and motions for them to stand in front of Logan.
Mila and Kat’s daughter Izzy toss flower petals, pausing to twirl their poofy dresses when they get to the front. Everyone laughs. Ethan hugs the girls before they come to stand with us.
And then it’s time.
A hush falls as Christina Perri’s A Thousand Years begins to play, and the guests stand.
Mr. Duran and Tori pause at the top of the path, and her full skirt billows in the gentle breeze as the sunset backlights them.
“Damn, I’m a lucky man.” Ethan looks like he’s been struck by lightning. Or a powerful case of love.
Logan pats him on the back as everyone marvels at the beautiful bride.
By the time her father hands her off to Ethan, everyone’s choked up.
After Tori gives Kat her bouquet to hold, she holds out her hand, and I place a few tissues in it so she can dab her eyes. We knew she’d never make it through the ceremony without crying.
Ethan has to clear his throat a few times during his vows. “Tori, you came to me at one of the darkest times in my life. You showed me what it means to really and truly love. You’re my best friend, my favorite person, my lover, my everything. I promise to always cherish you, to always put you first and love you with my whole heart. And it would make me the luckiest man and father to have you as my wife. The three of us”—he pauses and Cody and Mila move closer to stand with him—“would be so honored if you’d join our little family. We promise to lift your spirits when you’re sad. Cheer you on when you’re happy. Support your dreams. To always love you, and to always stand by your side.”
Tori wipes her eyes, and I sniffle. Some of the bridesmaids are full-out crying. Pretty sure half of the audience is too.
As I look at the emotion on Logan’s face, I wonder if this will be us in a few years. And when he looks at me and mouths that he loves me, the anticipation that’s been brimming in my chest overflows.
After taking a deep breath, Tori leans up to kiss Ethan. “I know we haven’t gotten to the kissing part, but as my parents will tell you, I’ve never been that good about following rules.” She pauses while everyone chuckles. “But every day that we’ve been together, I’ve counted my blessings. You and Cody and Mila have become such a big part of me, I can’t tell where you guys end and I begin. And something about that tells me we’ve always meant to be. Ethan, you’re the crunch to my peanut butter and the peas to my carrots. I consider myself the luckiest girl alive to have you as my husband. I promise to always be there for you in good times and in bad, no matter what challenges we face. To be your person. To love you and our children wholeheartedly. To encourage you every step of the way.”
She smiles and wipes her eyes, adding, “Except I hope it’s okay to let you know we won’t be a family of four for long.”
Taking his hand in hers, she places it on her belly.
We’re quiet for a long breath until Ethan lets out a loud whoop, scooping her up to spin her around a kiss. “We’re having a baby, y’all!”
Everyone stands to clap and cheer. The moms are crying, and the kids are jumping up and down. It’s barely contained wedding anarchy.
The minister somehow gets in his final blessing, and I swoon when Ethan takes Tori in his arms and dips her for their kiss.
When he lifts her up, one of the groomsmen shouts, “It’s official! Let’s party!”
We pair off for the trek back down the aisle, and when Logan gives me his arm, he leans down to whisper, “This is gonna be us some day.”
I give him a little side eye. “You want the babies too?”
“Hell yes, woman. I wanna have babies with you.”
My smile grows.
Maybe my someday might come true after all.
50
Logan
Watching my woman walk down the aisle is giving me ideas.
And based on the shy smiles Joey gives me throughout the ceremony and the baby comment a minute ago, we’re getting back on solid ground.
After ten million photos of the wedding party, everyone heads back to the reception hall, but I grab Joey’s hand and motion to the photographer. “She needs to take some of us.”
Bitsy’s nose wrinkles in confusion. “But she didn’t take any of the other couples.”
“I asked her to take a few special ones for us.” Because, some day, when we tie the knot, I want special pics like my brother has of his time dating Tori.
When the photographer asks us to smile, I turn Jojo’s face toward me and cradle it in my palm while the flash goes off.
“Joey, I love you, baby.”
I gently swipe my lips against hers. It’s the first time she’s let me touch her since her injury. And it lights me up like the fucking Fourth of July.
Especially when I see that smile again.
I keep going. “Never wanna be away from you.” I steal another kiss. This time, she kisses me back. Fuck yes. “If that means I have to follow you to Florida, then that’s what I’ll do.”
The realization that we’re okay makes me wanna bang on my chest like a damn gorilla and drag her away to my lair.
Her eyes get glassy. “You’d really do that for me?”
“Jo, I’d do anything for you. You’re it for me.” I keep telling her this, but I know it’s taking time for everything to sink in. If the situation with Samantha has taught me anything, it’s that I never want something to come between me and Joey again—time, space, other people, business, bills. This woman is my number one priority.
“Doesn’t Ethan need you? What about your other job?”
“E and I have had a few talks this week. We’re working it out.”
Jojo smooths the lapel of my jacket. “My cousin said she’s found other investors for the salon.” I can see the hesitancy in her eyes, but I nod to encourage her, and she says, “She’d need me to help out for a month or two and it might take up to a year to repay me, but she says she understands and wants me to be happy.”
I press my lips to her forehead. “I’ve always liked Florida. If you can wait until my brother gets back from his honeymoon, I can go with you.”
Her voice wobbles. “But what about Zach? You probably can’t leave when you’re working out his custody.”
Damn it. She’s right.
But then she pushes up on her tiptoes to kiss me. “But what’s a month or two? Nothing in the big scheme of things.”
I hate the idea of being apart, but I’ll be damned if I let a snag in the road deter us. “Can I write you more letters?”
Her eyes shine. “You’d better.”
Heather calls out to us. “Come on, guys. The wedding party is about to be introduced.”
I thread my fingers through Joey’s. “We’ll figure out the specifics. I promise.”
She smiles, and it near
ly knocks me on my ass. After feeling like I’ve been stumbling in the dark for so long, loving Joey is like living in the sunlight. I know where I’m headed. I know what I want. And I know who I want it with.
After Ethan and Tori dance, each couple joins them, and I pull Joey into my arms as Ed Sheeran’s Perfect plays from the speakers.
We stare into each other’s eyes, and I commit the vision of this beautiful woman to memory. “This is so much fucking better than prom.” Though I’m still kicking myself for that.
A tender smile tilts her lips as she runs her hands up my lapels to the back of my neck. “I love you, Logan. I’ve loved you as long as I can remember, and that’s probably why this scared me so badly. Thank you for your notes, for sharing your heart with me.”
I pull her against me, forgetting to dance or sway or that we’re in the middle of the dance floor. “You mean the whole fucking world to me, Jo. I’m never gonna give you another reason to doubt me again.”
After several slow dances where I push the boundaries of decency with my gorgeous girlfriend in her sexy dress, I throw up a prayer of thanks for the dim lights, dark shadows, and packed dance floor.
A few hours later, as the festivities are wrapping up, Ethan smacks me on the back. “Thanks for watching my kids, brother.”
“Starting tomorrow, right?”
He smirks, knowing full well what I have planned tonight. “They’ll be home at six tomorrow. That enough time for… things?”
Mentally, I tally how much sex Joey and I can squeeze in before I get bombarded with children. Thank God the grandparents are pitching in to watch the kids until then.
“Things. Yes. Lots and lots of things.” A guy can hope, right? I give him a bro hug. “Have fun on your honeymoon. I’d say don’t get into trouble, but ya already got a bun in the oven, slugger, so…”