She rolls her eyes and grabs the plates to take to the table. “Well, I don’t know her, but I’ve seen her several times at the pizza shop, and she seems like a sweetheart.”
My dad reaches into the fridge, and he gets drinks for Mom and himself. “Yeah, she’s the little brunette Donnie mentioned, right?”
I nod. “Yeah, Donnie introduced us, and I’m taking her out tonight.”
Dad wraps his arms around Mom’s shoulders and smiles. “Good, son. You like her?”
“Yeah, I really like her, I guess. I don’t really know much about her, but what I do know, I like.”
“Great. I want you to be happy,” Mom says.
She lets go of Dad, leans in and wraps her arms around my waist, and I hug her back.
She says, “You should get going, so you’re not late for your date.” She reaches up and kisses me on the cheek before pulling away.
“Good luck,” my dad says as he walks me to the doorway of the kitchen.
“Thanks, guys. Love you,” I call out as I make my way to the front door.
“Love you, too,” they call back in unison.
Walking to my truck, I take a deep breath. I’m fired up for this date, thinking that tonight might be big. Good or bad, I’m going to find out if my gut is right about her.
My feet pound the treadmill, and sweat is dripping down my face and my back while I try to clear my head for my upcoming date with Jed. Doubt still tickles my mind and tries to take root. I want my happily ever after, and I want to try to have a normal relationship with Jed, but I’m terrified that I’ll overlook bad behavior. I’m also scared that if I open up to him, he’ll see my darkness. With ZZ Top’s “La Grange” blasting in my ears, I gather my doubts and shove them out of my head.
“Christ,” I mutter to myself, “it’s just one damn date.”
But it feels like a leap into the unknown. I’m determined to have a normal relationship, but I need to keep my heart guarded, and my eyes open. I don’t really think Jed is like Sam or like…him, but I need to be careful, so I don’t get hurt. It might open my Pandora’s Box of pain and self-loathing and send my world spinning out of control—again.
As I make my way to the restaurant, I call Shannon.
“Hey, girlie. What’s shakin’?” she answers the phone.
“I have a date with Jed tonight,” I blurt out.
Pause.
“Really?” she squeals.
She’s so loud that I have to pull the phone away from my ear.
“Shit, Shan! I think I’ll need my eardrums for tonight.”
“Sorry, sorry! But come on, you have a date with the drool-worthy walking orgasm, who’s not a total fucking ass-blaster. So, sue me if I’m a little excited,” she says flippantly.
I can almost see her rolling her eyes.
I laugh. “Ass-blaster? What the fuck is that?”
“What the hell does it matter? When did this all happen? And why the shizzle am I just hearing about this now?”
I laugh at her overexcitement. “Relax. It all just happened over the last day or so.”
“Okay, okay, relaxin’ over here. Fill me in. How did this all go down?”
After I update her, she says, “Oh, Anna, I’m doing a happy dance over here for you!”
I roll my eyes.
“Don’t roll your eyes at me, woman. Now, tell me what you’re wearing.”
“You know me too well.” I smile and tell her how my younger sisters helped dress me. “Ash and Jackie helped me figure out what to wear, and we settled on my favorite jeans. You know the dark blue ones that hug my butt?”
“Yep.”
I continue, “We also chose my long-sleeved royal-blue blouse, the one that shows a little cleavage and clings to my boobs, but it’s looser in the tummy area to hide my bit of chub.”
“Anna, I’m going to punch you if you say you have chub one more time. Your stomach is flat,” she says, annoyed.
“Then, what do you call the roll hanging over my jeans when I sit down?” I don’t know why I’m arguing with her about this. I should just agree to disagree.
“It’s called skin, Anna.”
After my eye roll, I change the subject. “Anyway, I also have my three-inch suede ankle boots and silver teardrop earrings with matching necklace. Oh, and my tan leather coat.”
“I can totally picture you right now. I bet you look hot.”
She is right. I look pretty hot—for me anyway.
“Yeah, I don’t clean up too bad.”
“What kind of underwear?”
“Granny panties and a giant slingshot bra,” I lie. I’m not telling her that I’m wearing a lacy black push-up and matching boy short panties. I won’t need them, but I wanted to do everything I could to feel confident.
“Yeah right. Dish it.”
“I gotta go. I’m going to be pulling in soon.”
“Okay, fine. I’ll let it slide for now, but I want all the juicy details tomorrow!”
I smile. “Yes, gossip queen,” I tease. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“All right, lady, sounds good. Later.”
“Later,” I say before ending the call and tossing my phone into my purse.
I pull into the parking lot of The Phoenix and park near the back, so I’ll have a minute to calm my nerves before I see Jed. I pull down my visor to check my appearance in the mirror one last time. Flat-ironed, mid-back length hair frizz free? Check. Makeup subtle yet enhancing? Check. Teeth lipstick free and breath minty fresh? Check and check. With a deep here-goes-nothing breath, I turn off the engine and step out of the car.
As I’m walking toward the entrance, I notice Jed’s blue F-150 just as his engine cuts off, and he jumps out. Startled, I stop in my tracks to ogle…I mean, wait for him. He’s wearing straight-leg blue jeans that hug his butt. This is the first chance I’ve really had to admire it, and shit, it’s nice. He has a black button-down dress shirt that’s just tight enough to hint at the definition underneath. He’s topped off his look with his black leather jacket and black work boots. Damn, he looks even better than I remember. Was it only yesterday when I last saw him?
My breathing picks up just from looking at him and the way his body moves. The stretch and pull of his muscles make me think of what he’d look like without clothes. He closes the truck door and looks up to notice me standing there. He jumps a little, and I flush, thinking he just caught me imagining him naked. I’m fucking ridiculous. I can’t ever remember acting like a teenager on Viagra the way I do with him, but I can’t seem to help myself.
“Anna, hi. Sorry I didn’t see you there,” he says as he walks over to where I’m standing. “You look beautiful.”
I tuck my hair behind my ear. “Thank you. You look really nice, too.”
He smiles. “Want to head in?”
“Sure,” I reply as we begin walking toward the restaurant.
“So, I know your first name, but I never got your last,” he says.
“Matuszak.”
“Savannah Matuszak. That’s a very pretty—”
“It’s Anna, just Anna.” Hearing my full first name, especially right now, makes my stomach roll.
He looks a little taken aback, and I feel bad, but I can’t help it. I hate that name and everything it reminds me of, but he recovers quickly.
“Right. Anna…Anna Matuszak. That’s a pretty name.”
I shrug. “Thanks.”
“Pretty name for a pretty girl.”
He smiles, and I can’t help but laugh at him.
“What?” he asks as his lips curl.
“That has got to be the most used line in the history of lines.” I smile up at him. “What’s next? Did heaven call? Because they’re missing an angel.”
He throws his head back and laughs. “That wasn’t a line, baby. I was only telling the truth, but I suppose it kinda sounded like one.”
He grins at me, and I can’t help but grin back.
“I could have said something
like, did your dad work in a juice factory? Because you’re so Very Fine.”
My cheeks twinge pink just slightly, but I laugh at his ridiculous line. “Are you wearing space pants? Because your ass is outta this world.”
“If I told you that you have a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?” He laughs again, his eyes sparkling.
Hell yes! My face flushes, and I duck my head. I’m too flustered to form a comeback while thinking about pressing my body against his.
“I’m just teasing you,” he says, still laughing. “Well, mostly.”
“What?”
“Well, you do have a beautiful body, but I wouldn’t be a jackass about it,” he says, scratching the back of his head.
“Thanks,” I mumble as I shift uncomfortably. I can’t tell if he’s serious. I can’t imagine that he’d really believe I have a beautiful body when he looks like he does. My heart sinks as that thought drifts through my head.
God, I hate my depressing insecurity.
He notices my discomfort, and he must take it the wrong way because he asks, “Did I say something wrong?”
His question brings me back to reality. “Oh no, you didn’t say anything wrong,” I rush out.
His eyes narrow slightly, and my shoulders tense because I feel like he’s trying to read me again.
“You sure?”
I give him my best genuine smile, but inside, my stomach is twisting. Quit acting like an idiot.
The look on his face tells me he’s not convinced, but he doesn’t push for an answer as he nods. I inwardly breathe a sigh of relief. He holds the door open for me, something I’ll never get used to, and my mood shifts again. I brightly smile up at him in thanks, and he smiles back, causing my heart to skip a beat. As I step past him through the door, he puts his hand on my lower back, and tingles spread through my body with his hand being the epicenter.
He guides me toward the restaurant part of the establishment. The Phoenix is a large log cabin that is split down the middle. One side is a family-run American-style restaurant, and the décor is rustic with older American relics like rifles, bayonets, dishes, and pictures from the twenties or thirties. There’s even a deer head mounted at the entrance, which is a touch creepy, but it suits the rural town and the log-cabin feel. The other half of the establishment is similarly decorated with a large bar, four pool tables, a jukebox, and three flat screens that play a game or ESPN, depending on the day and season.
“Table for two?” The hostess—a tall, skinny, young blonde—is smiling a little too warmly at my man.
Mentally rolling my eyes, I remind myself that he’s not exactly my man, but still…
Back off, bitch!
“Yes, please,” Jed responds, smiling politely.
Her eyes slide to me, and she gives me a quick once-over with a tight smile. I try to appear confident against her catty look, but my insides sink as doubt creeps in again.
Why is he here with me when he could have someone like her?
Fuck, maybe this was a mistake.
The date hasn’t even started, and I’m all over the place.
“Follow me,” she says, smiling brightly at Jed before she turns around and leads us to our booth.
I shake my head a little to clear the depressing thoughts. Happy thoughts, Anna, I remind myself.
Jed removes his hand from my back, leaving me a little bereft, and then he slides into the booth. I follow suit and sit on the opposite side.
The hostess hands me my menu, and then she turns to Jed and smiles widely before handing him his menu. She bends over, leaning closer to him, as she exposes some of her ample cleavage. “If you need anything, anything at all, please don’t hesitate to ask,” she coos. Then, she straightens while she runs her hand down his chiseled bicep.
I don’t see Jed’s reaction because I open my menu and stick my nose in it. I swallow back tears. While I know that looks aren’t everything, it makes more sense for him to be with someone more attractive…someone like her.
The top of my menu bends down, and I lift my thankfully dry eyes to his.
He gives me his dazzling smile. “Can you believe that chick? Who does that?” He raises his voice quietly to sound like a girl as he says, “If I can help you with anything…” He laughs.
I smile brightly and breathe a sigh of relief. He not only didn’t respond to her advances, but he also obviously didn’t appreciate them either. Part of me wants to slap myself for caring so much.
That’s not healthy…right? I actually have no idea. I didn’t take into account that I have no clue how to follow through with my decision to try to have a normal relationship.
“Is it hot in here? Or is it just you?” he asks finally.
My smile must have fallen a bit because I feel it return full force. “Oh, come on, that one is lame,” I say although I secretly love this game. I really love it.
“Yeah, I suppose you’re right. I’ll think of one you’ll love. You better be ready for it.”
“I’m sure it’ll blow my mind,” I retort sarcastically and return my eyes to the menu.
“I’m sure it will,” he says, lowering his voice seductively.
My eyes shoot back to his and narrow before I realize what I just said had an unintended double meaning. I just told him he’s gonna blow my mind. Oh, sweet baby Jesus. I blush and look down at my menu. Where the hell is my brain to filter my mouth? “That’s not what I meant.”
His grin reappears. “I know, but it was too easy,” he teases.
“So,” I start, trying to change the subject, “Jed is short for Jedidiah, I take it?”
“Yeah, Jedidiah Moretti.”
“I thought you looked Italian.”
“Observant, are we?” He grins.
I roll my eyes, but I can’t stop the smile that creeps across my lips.
“I’m actually three-quarters Italian and a quarter Irish,” he explains. “Matuszak is Polish, right?”
“Oh, that’s neat, and yeah, I’m half Polish, half German,” I say and glance down at the menu. I could go for a burger maybe.
My thoughts are broken up when I realize he’s laughing.
“What?” I ask.
“Neat? Who says neat?”
I giggle. “Shut up.”
He laughs again. “I’m glad you don’t mind my teasing.”
I smile and shrug. “Teasing never bothered me. Self-deprecating humor has always been pretty natural to me.”
With my past, self-deprecation and teasing would seem like it should bother me, but it doesn’t. It might be that in comparison, teasing feels more like glitter being thrown at me since I’ve been smacked with meteors.
“Good.” He smiles. “Did you take last week off of work?”
My eyebrows pull together. “No. Why?”
“Um…I just popped in a few times, and I didn’t see you,” he says as he scratches the back of his head.
I’m starting to wonder if it’s his nervous tell, like me tucking my hair behind my ear.
“I was probably in the back, prepping or doing dishes or something. I missed you.”
“Missed me, did ya?” He laughs.
I glance up, puzzled for a brief second before realizing my slip-up, and then I duck my head.
“Don’t worry. I missed you, too.”
I peek up to see him grinning, and it dawns on me that he’s thoroughly amused. He reaches over and sets his hand on top of mine, and I shiver from the warmth that pulses through my body.
“Hello. My name is Debbie, and I’ll be your server this evening,” the waitress says.
I quickly pull my hand away, trying to gather a little composure.
When I see that the waitress is about forty, short with curly blonde hair, and a pleasant smile, I’m silently thankful that she’s not younger and that I won’t have to battle my insecurities throughout dinner.
“Can I get you two something to drink?”
Jed gestures for me to go first.
“
Um, you have Wachusett on tap, right?” I ask.
The local brewery makes awesome beer, and I thought I saw it on tap one of the few times I came to play pool here with Sam.
“Yep, we have the original, light, Winter Ale, and Blueberry Ale.”
“I’ll have the Blueberry Ale and a glass of water, too, please.”
“Great. And you?” she asks, turning to Jed.
“I’ll have the Wachusett original on tap, please,” he replies. He gives me a puzzled look that spreads into a smile.
“Great. Are you ready to order?” she asks after scribbling down our drink orders.
“Actually, we haven’t looked at the menu yet. Would you mind giving us a few minutes to decide?” Jed says.
“No problem. I’ll just get these drink orders in for you, and I’ll be back in a bit.” She turns to leave.
“You like Wachusett?” Jed asks.
I’m guessing this is the reason behind his questioning look. “Yeah, the Blueberry Ale is my favorite. I like the Summer Ale and the Octoberfest a lot, too. Really, they’re all varying shades of awesomeness, except for the dark ale. That one is a little too strong for me,” I explain, scrunching up my nose as I remember the taste.
His smile widens before he says, “I don’t think I’ve ever dated a chick who drinks beer.”
Insecurity nudges its way back in. “Is that bad?” I ask tentatively.
“Oh God, no.” He shrugs. “Makes you seem laid-back.”
My lips tip up.
“So, how long have you worked at Village Pizza?” He points in the direction of my work—which is across the street—with his thumb.
“Oh, only about ten months or so.”
“Really? You look like you’ve worked there for years.”
“Well, I worked at another pizza place since high school until I got a job at Village Pizza.”
“Why did you quit the other place?” he asks, genuinely interested.
I frown because I don’t want to discuss this sort of crap on a first date. “It’s a long story.”
“I’ve got time,” he says dryly.
I sigh. “Well, I missed an early morning shift because I had an, um…emergency,” I stumble. The emergency was Sam partying a little too close with another girl in front of me, and I stayed up too late to make sure he wouldn’t slip into another room with her. “And I got fired.”
Worth It Page 10