When Dawn Breaks

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When Dawn Breaks Page 11

by Melissa Toppen


  “Bree,” he repeats when I don’t answer him.

  I want to say I’m fine. I want to tell him to go back to sleep. I want to say anything, but nothing will come.

  “I’m coming in,” he finally says, pushing the bathroom door open without a second of hesitation.

  His eyes find me instantly, and panic flashes across his face. He’s on his knees in front of me before I even register his movement, pulling me into his arms.

  I don’t want him to see me this way. I don’t ever want anyone to see me this way. But I also don’t have it in me to push him away. Because the truth is I need him, and that might be the scariest revelation of all.

  “What happened? Are you okay?” he asks, rocking me gently while I try to gain some semblance of composure.

  “I’m fine,” I finally manage to say, my voice hoarse.

  “What happened? One minute you’re next to me, the next you’re running through the apartment.”

  “It was just a bad dream,” I say, finding it hard to meet his gaze when he pulls back to look at me.

  “That must have been one hell of a dream,” he says, wiping my tears away with the pads of his thumbs.

  “Trust me, it was.” I force a smile, but it falls flat on my lips.

  “Wanna talk about it?” he offers, standing as he pulls me to my feet.

  “No, I just want to go back to sleep,” I say, snuggling into his side as he leads me through the hallway to my bedroom.

  “Come on, I’ll tuck you in,” he says, pulling back the covers as soon as he reaches the bed. He waits until I’m positioned underneath before tucking them around me.

  He kisses my forehead and then moves to leave, but I reach out and grab his hand, stopping him.

  “Don’t go,” I say, pulling the covers back again. “Stay with me.”

  “You sure?” He eyes me curiously.

  “I just need you to hold me.” I pat the bed next to me, more relieved than I should be when he nods and climbs into bed with me.

  “I can do that,” he says, positioning the covers over both of us before pulling me into his arms, the one and only place that seems to make any sense to me anymore.

  The sun is bright on my face, the heat warming me from the depths of sleep. I blink once, then twice, my mind groggy and unable to focus on any one thing.

  But then I feel it—the shift of a body next to me followed by the arm that wraps around my middle and pulls me tight.

  Anthony.

  He’s tucked in behind me, my back to his front. I can feel his warm breath on the back of my neck, and for a long moment, I wonder if maybe I’m still asleep.

  “Good morning.” His voice is thick with sleep, and damn it if it isn’t the best sound to wake up to.

  “How did you know I was awake?” I smile even though he can’t see it.

  “I guess I’m just that good,” he jokes, dropping a kiss to my shoulder before quickly rolling out of bed.

  “Where are you going?” I ask, turning onto my back and propping myself up on my elbows to watch him cross the room.

  “I don’t want Jack to walk in and find me in here. Probably wouldn’t send the right message.”

  “Good point,” I agree, surprised that I didn’t think about this fact when I asked him to stay last night.

  Just the thought of last night has two things rushing to my mind. One—the intimate kiss Ant and I shared after he opened up to me about his past. And two—the dream. My stomach instantly turns at the thought, and I quickly work to push it away. I can’t go there right now.

  “What time is it?” I sit all the way up and look over at my bedside table just as Ant reaches the door. “It’s only seven?” I question before he has a chance to answer.

  “You didn’t sleep well last night. Why don’t you go back to sleep for a little while? I can feed Jackson breakfast when he gets up.”

  “You don’t have to do that.” I shake my head, rubbing my eyes with the back of my hands.

  “I know I don’t have to, I want to.”

  “It’s okay. I’m getting up,” I say, tossing back the covers before swinging my legs over the side of the bed.

  “You really never let anyone do anything for you, do you?” He grins, pulling the door open the second my feet hit the floor.

  “It’s not that.” I shake my head as I cross the room toward him. “I’m just awake is all.” I slide past him into the hallway, knowing he’s directly behind me as I make my way into the kitchen.

  “Here, let me do that.” He takes the coffee pot from my hand the second I pick it up.

  “Think I’m that helpless, do you?” I cock a brow at him, faking annoyance.

  “I mean, you are letting me crash here after all. Making you coffee is the least I can do. Besides, maybe I just like doing nice things for you.”

  “Is that so?”

  “It is.” He smiles, his focus on the coffee pot as he fills the reservoir with water.

  “You know, you really are full of surprises,” I can’t stop myself from saying as I lean against the counter and watch him scoop grounds into the filter.

  “How so?” He flashes me his pearly whites, and I swear my heart does a little pitter patter in my chest.

  “I’ve known you for years, and yet I never would’ve taken you for someone who cares so much about other people.”

  “I’m not quite sure if I should be offended by that statement or not.” He presses the brew button on the coffee pot and then turns toward me, his hip leaning into the counter as he crosses his arms over his bare chest.

  God, I wish he would put a shirt on already. I can’t think straight when his perfectly toned body is begging to be stared at.

  “Why would you be offended?” I refocus.

  “Because you’re basically saying I was a crap friend to you in high school.”

  “That’s not what I was saying at all,” I argue. “You’ve always been good to me; it’s just… I don’t know, in high school, you were kind of a cocky player. I don’t remember you being this super sweet guy. I mean, you had your moments, but they were small snippets and never lasted very long before that conceited football star reappeared.”

  “Well, I couldn’t let everyone know that I’m a big softy now, could I?” he quips, a playful grin still etched across his handsome face. “I had a reputation to uphold.” He reaches up and scratches the scruff on his jaw.

  “Is that it?” I chuckle, loving how adorable he looks right now.

  “It is.” He nods, pushing away from the counter and turning toward the fridge.

  We spend the remainder of the morning in easy conversation. Ant doesn’t mention the dream or the state he found me in, in the middle of the night, and for that, I am extremely grateful. It’s honestly something I don’t think I could explain even if I wanted to. In return, I make it a point not to bring up his father or anything else that I learned yesterday.

  Jack finally woke up just after eight, and Ant made us all breakfast while my son and I watched cartoons on the couch. It’s honestly been one of the best mornings I can ever remember. There’s no pressure, no worries, no need to pretend. It’s just Jack, Ant, and me lounging around on a lazy Saturday morning like we’ve done it a million times before.

  We’re all three still snuggled up on the couch watching Cars, Jackson’s favorite movie, when Tess calls just after two in the afternoon. As much as I want to ignore it and stay in this little bubble for just a little longer, I know that if I don’t answer she will just call back in ten minutes anyway.

  “Hello.” I slide off the couch just as I answer the phone, holding a finger up to Ant to let him know I’ll be right back.

  He nods before turning his attention back to the movie. I swear he seems more interested in it then Jack does; then again, he’s never seen it, which I feel like is unheard of. That movie has been out for years.

  “Hey.” Tess’s voice sounds in my ear seconds later. “What are you doing?”

  “Watching a m
ovie with Jack,” I say, leaving Ant out of it for reasons I’m not sure I understand.

  “Oh, fun. Is Ant there too or is he out apartment searching?” I don’t miss the way she asks the question or the way it grates on me.

  “No, he’s here. He’s got an application in on one apartment and doesn’t want to move forward until he knows if he got it or not. Apparently, he really liked the place,” I say, hating the feeling of dread that forms in my stomach at the thought of him leaving soon.

  Truth be told, I’m secretly hoping this place falls through and he has to go back to square one, as bad as that is to say.

  “That’s awesome. I’m sure you’re ready to have your space back.”

  “Yeah,” I agree, even though I don’t actually mean it.

  “How’s the new job going? I haven’t talked to you much since you started. Do you like it so far?”

  “I’ve mainly just been sitting behind a desk for two weeks,” I say, entering my bedroom and crossing the room to take a seat on the edge of the bed. “They’ve got me doing online training pretty much every day. I never realized how much went into working for children’s services.”

  “I bet,” she agrees. “I can’t imagine the rules and regulations.”

  “It’s overwhelming.”

  “So when do you get to start in the field?”

  “Hopefully next week. Trish, the lady who’s training me, has a home inspection scheduled for Tuesday, and I guess we’re gonna start there. I’ll be taking over some of her workload because they’ve been pretty understaffed, given how many open cases they have. She’s gonna work me in a little at a time, and then eventually I’ll be assigned some of her cases permanently.”

  “Are you nervous? I mean, do you think you’ll be okay with this? There’s no telling what type of situation you may find a child in. I’m just worried if something hits close to home how that will affect you.”

  “I’ll be fine.” I brush it off, not wanting to let the conversation go there given how fresh certain things are in my mind after the dream I had last night. “I think it will be good for me, knowing I have the power to save a child from the same fate.”

  “I’m proud of you, ya know.”

  “Thank you.”

  I don’t say it, but it means a lot to me that she can see how far I’ve come and what I’ve been able to accomplish even with the odds stacked against me.

  “So anyway, the reason that I called.” She quickly changes gears. “Sebastian and I wanted to see if you and Ant would like to join us for dinner tonight. Figured since we were all in the same place, maybe we could start getting together more often. Besides, what’s the benefit of living an hour from my best friend if I still never see her.”

  “I’d like that. Jack is supposed to stay at my grandparents tonight, so it would just be me. They want to take him to church in the morning.”

  “Well boo. I was hoping to see my little buddy.” She pouts, and I can actually see the bottom lip she probably has sticking out.

  “I know, I’m sorry. He hasn’t been in a few weeks, and my grandma’s been kinda hounding me about it,” I say.

  “I understand. We will have to schedule something he can come to soon. I miss my little guy.”

  “Definitely,” I agree.

  “So dinner? Is that a yes then?”

  “I’ll need to make sure Ant doesn’t have anything going on, but I’m a yes,” I say, pushing off the bed. “Hang on,” I say, quickly making my way down the hallway before poking my head around the corner to see Ant and Jack still sitting in the same place I left them, eyes glued to the television.

  Ant looks up when he senses me standing there, and I take the phone away from my ear before speaking.

  “Tess and Sebastian want to know if we want to have dinner with them tonight,” I say quietly, not wanting to disturb Jackson.

  “Sure,” he mouths. “As long as you want to.”

  I nod before putting the phone back to my ear and making my way back down the hallway.

  “He’s in. Just tell me when and where.”

  “How about Trego’s at seven? It’s a casual burger and beer joint in Lewisville that Sebastian took me to last week. They have the best fried pickles known to man.”

  “I’ve never heard of it. I’ll look it up and GPS the address.”

  “It’s about thirty minutes for both of us, that way we can meet in the middle.”

  “Sounds perfect.” I smile, both excited and nervous about the idea of the four of us being out together.

  It feels almost too double date like, and I’m not sure I’m comfortable with that. Then again, this is Tess and Sebastian we’re talking about. They know how close Ant and I were in high school, not to mention the fact that he’s currently living with me… And here I’m worried about having dinner with them.

  I shake my head, realizing I’m just giving myself worry for no reason at all.

  “Yay. I’m so excited,” she practically squeals into the phone. “And I have something to tell you,” she quickly adds, immediately piquing my interest.

  “Okay, tell me.”

  “Nope, I’ll tell you tonight.”

  “You can’t do that,” I object. “You can’t just leave me hanging.”

  “I can and I will,” she laughs. “I’ll see you tonight at seven.”

  “Fine,” I grumble.

  “Love you, Bree.”

  “Love you more,” I say, ending the call without another word.

  As much as I don’t want to go anywhere today, I also can’t deny that a night out with adults sounds way too good to pass up. Dropping my phone on the coffee table when I reenter the living room, I reclaim my seat between Ant and Jackson, my mind still swirling around what it is Tess has to tell me. I could tell by the sound of her voice that it’s big.

  Relaxing back into the couch, I look at Jack on my right and then Ant on my left, smiling when I find his gaze locked on me.

  Grinning, he snags my hand from my lap and wraps his fingers around it, tucking it between us so Jackson can’t see. I look at him for a long moment, trying to figure out why my chest suddenly feels too tight.

  Giving me a wink, he turns his attention back to the movie, seeming perfectly at ease. Meanwhile, I feel like all the feelings I’ve been trying to fight for weeks have just cascaded around me and the sky has just opened up, revealing big bright flashing letters in front of my face that say—you’re in love him.

  “Bree!” I hear Tess just seconds after Ant and I step into the pub-style restaurant just five minutes till seven.

  “Hey.” I spot her making her way toward us, Sebastian lounging on a long booth at the far end of the lobby.

  “It’s gonna be a few more minutes,” she says, tucking her arm through mine before following Ant who heads toward Sebastian.

  “What’s up, man?” Sebastian stands the moment Ant reaches him, and the two embrace in some weird handshake, back pat, man hug.

  “Not much,” Ant replies casually before turning toward Tess and me. “Good to see you two out of the bedroom,” he jokes, winking at Tess.

  “Ha. Ha. You’re so funny.” She sticks her tongue out at him, her cheeks blushing crimson.

  Tess is so easy to embarrass when it comes to sex. It’s always been something she’s kept very private. When we were younger, Courtney and I would recount our experiences to each other in great detail, but we were lucky if Tess would even admit she had an orgasm. She’s not a kiss and tell kind of girl.

  “We haven’t been in our bedroom in days,” Sebastian quickly chimes in.

  “Trouble in paradise?” Ant teasingly questions.

  “Not at all. We’ve been experimenting in other rooms of the house now that we don’t have your ass hanging around. Your bed squeaks less than mine, in case you were wondering,” he jabs at Ant, earning himself an evil glare from Tess.

  “Dude, gross. You guys had sex in my bed!”

  “Well, technically it’s my bed,” Sebastian laugh
s.

  “Remind me to never crash at your place again.”

  “Would you two please stop?” Tess swats at Ant, turning her attention to the hostess when she calls for our party. “Come on. If you two are going to insist on talking like you’re fourteen, at least let me get a drink in me first.” She huffs, taking off toward the hostess.

  “After you.” Ant gestures for me to go first, he and Sebastian following directly behind me.

  The hostess seats us in a booth along the far wall, Tess sliding in next to Sebastian which leaves me sitting next to Ant. Not that I mind, quite the opposite actually, though I keep that piece of information to myself.

  Within ten minutes we have our drinks in hand, our orders placed, and the conversation is flowing freely around the table.

  Tess tells us all about the company she interviewed for this week and how hopeful she is that she’ll land something soon. Ant and Sebastian talk briefly about Sebastian’s job as an athletic trainer for USC, while Tess and I listen in. Football conditioning has started so he’s swamped right now, but it’s clear to see he loves every second of it.

  It’s the strangest feeling, sitting here with the three of them. In some weird way, I almost feel like we’re still just the same high school teenagers and no time has passed. I still see glimpses of those kids in each and every one of us, but I also see the changes—the maturity, the growth, the things that you can only gain with age.

  “So you said you had something to tell us,” I remind Tess when there is a lull in the conversation.

  She looks over at Sebastian, who smiles at her so adoringly it makes my chest ache, and then back to me.

  “Well,” she pauses for a long moment. “We’re getting married,” she spits out so fast it takes me a moment to grasp her words.

  “Well, that sure as shit didn’t take very long.” Ant is the first to speak as Tess holds out her left hand where a perfectly sized princess cut diamond sits on her ring finger.

  I know for sure she wasn’t wearing it when we arrived—there’s no way I would have missed it—so she must have slipped it on sometime after we sat down.

 

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