“They are, but I need to be there also.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow. Please, Sandra, just try and understand.” Sure, I thought. I always understood when it came to him putting other people before me.
After Bryan left I just sat there thinking about his mother. She must be incredibly upset right now. How does a man carry on an affair for twenty five years and you never know? She loved the lifestyle of a pastor’s wife. She had looked the other way. Now I knew why she was so bitter, living in a house of pretend.
The next day I called Paxton’s to tell Craig I wouldn’t be there. I was putting my life on hold again.
~~~
Bryan wasn’t himself the entire week after he buried his father. This thing with the other woman had really shaken him. He was always at the church doing something, but that Sunday he didn’t attend. I went to at least make his excuses for whatever reason. I was going to have a talk with him today. He couldn’t avoid this forever.
After Sunday dinner, Bryan was still in a somber mood. “Bryan, we need to talk.”
“Not now, Sandra. I’m not in the mood.”
“Well get in the mood, because you can’t let this thing with your father destroy you.”
“Sandra, please, just let this alone. I’ve got to sort things out with myself.”
“You say you got to sort things out? Your father is gone and if this keeps on I’ll be gone too. I’m tired of being alone to deal with things. Your father had an affair, deal with it and move on.”
“You don’t understand. I can’t move on. Sandra, I feel like the wind has been knocked out of me. My father was everything to me. I am who I am because of him.”
“Maybe you need to seek counseling from the brothers of the church.”
“I can’t even show my face there because of my father’s lies.”
“You’re your own man, Bryan. Your father was his own man.”
“Sandra, his other family are members of my church and I didn’t even know.”
“How could you know? It was your father’s secrets. Bryan, did your mother know about this affair?”
“Yes and she never told me or my brothers. That is the one thing I don’t understand.”
“Maybe it’s not for you to understand, Bryan. Your mother must have had her reasons. Just accept them and move on.”
“I’m trying to, Sandra.”
“Just speak to the brothers. It can’t hurt. I’m sure they know all about it.”
“Were you serious? When you said you were leaving?”
“No. I just wanted you to pay attention. Your real family is right here.” I kissed him. “Don’t let this destroy what you have left.”
“Sandra, you and the kids are the most valuable things in my life. I will do whatever it takes to make sure I don’t lose that.”
Candice
Chapter 19
It was all too surreal, hearing from my sister. For the first time ever, I’d heard her apologize. I wished I could fly down to be with them at Sabrina’s, but there wasn’t enough time for a flight and I still wasn’t feeling that well. It seemed I’d had either the flu or this stomach bug for some time. I needed to go to the doctor instead of taking this over the counter medicine.
Lance and I had talked but I wasn’t really sure where we stood. He’d gotten the contract with the company, so I was sure our paths would soon cross again. I’d explained my relationship with Ashton and hoped that maybe now Lance would move on.
If I could ever get over whatever this was I could start making wedding plans. I knew only two things; my daddy would walk me down the aisle and my sisters would be my bride’s maids. I lay here wondering how it would all play out. Ashton had flown to London for a meeting and would be gone for a week. It had only been two days and I already missed him. I needed a life.
I called Brenda to see if she wanted to see a show. She was all for it. We agreed to see the Color Purple. I showered and put on my jeans and a Chanel top. One thing about Brenda, she was always prompt.
We took a cab and arrived a half hour early for the 9:00 show. By the time the show was over, I was so sick to my stomach it was all I could do to stand. “What’s going on with you, Candice? You have had this bug for some time.”
“I’m not sure, but if this keeps going on I’m going to my doctor.”
“You need to. It might be more than just the flu.”
“I’m sorry to ruin the night for you.”
“That’s ok. We saw it all, so that’s all that matters.”
“I’m going to skip dinner if you don’t mind.”
“I don’t mind. I’ll call Calvin to see if he wants to grab something. I’ll talk to you later. Just get some rest.” I grabbed a cab and headed home.
I was sick the rest of the night. I threw up until I was dry heaving. This was more than just the stomach flu. The next day I called the doctor and scheduled an appointment. I got to her office early, just in case she had a cancelation. “Candice, you look as if you have been up all night,” the receptionist greeted me.
“I have. I’ve been hanging over my toilet for what seems like hours.”
“Sue here is going to get your temp and take your vitals.”
I sat on the bed and waited for Doctor Henson to see me. She’d been my doctor since I had come to New York. “Candice, the lab will be here to take some blood. What seems to be the problem?”
“I’ve had this bug for about two weeks and it will not go away.”
“Your vitals seem to be fine, have you had anything to eat in the last few hours?”
“Everything I’ve eaten is in the toilet.”
“Once the lab gets your blood work back we can go from there.” I waited in her office for about an hour. “Well, Candice, sorry about the wait, I’ve got your blood work. This might be good news or bad news, depending. You’re pregnant. About a month.” It felt like someone had kicked me in the stomach. “Are you alright, Candice? I’m sure this must come as a shock. There are alternatives, if you choose.”
“What?” I asked, trying to focus.
“You might want to terminate.”
“I would never think of doing such a thing.”
“Ok, then here’s a prescription for your vitamins and some medicine to help your nausea. I will see you next month.” She left the room.
I was in a daze the rest of the day. The wedding would have to be pushed up. I needed to talk to Ashton, but I didn’t want to tell him until he returned from London. I lay in bed the rest of the day, just thinking.
What if this baby is a product of Victor, not Ashton? It just had to Ashton’s. I got out my calendar and started counting the days. It was too close to the time I’d spent in the Hampton’s. This just couldn’t be happening to me. I couldn’t terminate. What if it was Ashton’s? This was the man I loved. I couldn’t just destroy the life we might have made. I wouldn’t think about what ifs, I just hoped Ashton would be happy.
I returned to work the next day, feeling better than the day before. “Candice, are you feeling better?” Brenda asked.
“I think I’m going to be ok, the nausea is better.”
“Can I ask you a personal question, Candice? Do you think you’re pregnant? This flu thing has gone on for a while.” I guess by the look on my face she had her answer. “What are you going to do? Have you told Ashton?”
“I’m going to tell him when he comes back from London.”
“I hate to ask, but what if it’s Victor’s? Have you thought about that?”
“Yes I have, but I’m sure it’s Ashton’s.”
“That’s your business, Candice, and if that’s true, I wish you well.”
“Brenda, it has to be Ashton’s. I wouldn’t be able take it if it wasn’t.” Tears started flowing. I wasn’t as sure as I thought.
“It’s ok, Candice, I’m here if you need me. Your secret is safe with me.”
~~~
Ashton arrived home on Sunday. We had dinner and saw a movie. “You’re l
ooking a little under the weather, have you been sleeping?”
“I’ve been sleeping ok. I have something to tell you.”
“I’m listening, what’s the problem? Come and sit here on the sofa, let’s talk.”
“Ashton,” I stammered, taking a deep breath, “I’m pregnant.”
“You’re pregnant? When? How?”
“I just found out a few days ago. I hope you’re not upset.”
“Upset? Why would you think I would be upset? This is the best news a man can get. I’ve always wanted a child. Are you kidding?” He kissed me all over my face. “Baby, you’ve made me the happiest man in the world.” That night Ashton and I made love like never before.
My whole world seemed to be sunny. Ashton waited on me hand and foot, telling me how much he loved me. “Ashton, I think we need to move our wedding date up. I really don’t want to walk down the aisle when I’m eight months or more. Maybe I’ll have a Christmas wedding and put on a girdle so no one can tell.”
Ashton just laughed. “I could care less about when we get married, as long as we do.”
I called Sandra to let her know that the wedding was going to be on Christmas Eve. “I haven't called Sabrina, so don’t tell her.”
“Ok, what happened to getting married in June?”
“I guess I should tell you because you’re going find out sooner or later. I’m pregnant and the baby’s due in March or April. So you see my dilemma.”
Sandra just started to laugh, “Candice, you will never change. You try to keep everything under wraps, literally.”
“What’s wrong with not wanting everyone in your business?”
“Candice, it’s 2010. Who’s going to care if you have a baby before you get married? You’re silly, Candice, always thinking about what people will say.”
“I’ve got my reputation to uphold. Ashton comes from a good family.”
Sandra laughed even harder. “I guess he’s white?”
“Why do you say that?”
“Covering up babies… Coming from some uppity family… You have to be kidding. I guess he would be, being you half…”
“Wait, what did you just say?”
“Nothing.”
“What are you talking about? You were getting ready to say I was half white, Sandra. You had better be telling me what you know.”
“I’m sorry. You must have misunderstood.”
“I don’t think so. You know you can’t hold water so spit it out.”
“Candice, it’s not my place to tell you. I promised Aunt Sally.”
“You promised her what, Sandra?”
“I wouldn’t tell you who your real father is.”
“First I’m having a baby and now this? If you don’t tell me, I’m going to call Aunt Sally myself.”
“You can’t do that! She would never trust me again. Let me tell you something else first, Daddy has liver cancer. So you see? You can’t tell anyone what we discussed.”
“Are you kidding me right now, Sandra? You better tell.”
“Your father is the Mayor of Brownsville. Is that what you need to be happy?”
I had to get my footing, “Are you sure about this?”
“Yes, Aunt Sally told me and Sabrina at the barbecue.”
“So Daddy knows about this?”
“Yes, but he never mentioned it to us. Candice, this has to be a shock, I’m so sorry I let it slip. You’re my sister and regardless of who your father is, I still love you.”
“I love you too, but I always had this feeling.”
“Don’t let this come between us, Candice. We’ve just started working on our sisterhood. All the secrets and lies are what have pulled us apart.”
“I want us to be close as much as you do, Sandra.” I had a lot to think about. “What about Daddy, is he still working at the plant?”
“Yes, for the time being. He’s going to move in with me and Bryan.”
“It must be serious if he’s moving to Memphis.”
“He wants to get closer to the kids, the family in general. I hate that you live in New York. We could all be closer. It’s not too late, you could still come home.”
“I like it here, Sandra. I’ve never lived in Memphis, it’s not for me. I’m going to come home sometime before the wedding. I think it’s time to put a lot of things to rest.”
“I must say I agree with you on that, but it should be a family affair.”
“It will be. I’m also bringing my fiancée. By the way, he is white. So there. The secret is out.”
“As long as you love him, who cares?”
“I will call and tell you when I’ll be there. Is there anything you have left out?”
“Only that Uncle Tee and Aunt Sally are finally tying the knot.”
“It’s about time,” I laughed. “They have been together forever.”
“You know what? That’s the same thing Sabrina said,” we laughed. “I had better let you go. We’ve been on here for a while. Talk to you later.”
This was a lot to take in. My father was the Mayor? Thinking back, he had been at Momma’s funeral and he would always bring money at Christmas. Daddy must have known all these years, the pain he must have felt. We had lived in the same town with Daddy working at his plant. The Mayor and his family owned most of Brownsville. That’s more than likely why he kept Daddy on even when he should have fired him. Daddy was a hard worker, but he also had a drinking problem. How was I ever going to tell him I knew?
Chapter 20
Ashton brought home the cutest baby clothes from Macy’s. “There’s something in there for you, too.” I opened the Chanel box and brochures fell to the floor. “Look closer.”
“Ashton, these are real estate brochures. Are we house hunting?”
“Did you think I was going to let my son grow up anywhere but in the suburbs? What’s a little commute when it’s family?”
I kissed him hard, “I love you, Ashton Williams.”
“Why don’t you show me how much?” He picked me up and laid me on the bed, his lips never leaving mine. I loved this man that was making mad passionate love to me. He moved to my breast, taking one nipple at a time. Our bodies seemed to be in sync. I craved him.
He entered me with gentleness. I arched my back to meet his thrusts. He moved himself in and out. It was so intense. I wanted more. I was emotionally charged. My tears started to flow. “Am I hurting you, Sweetness? I don’t mean to be.”
“No, Ashton, it’s just that I feel so loved.”
“Don’t cry.” He kissed the tears from my face. “I want you to feel nothing but happiness.” He wrapped his fingers in my hair, going deeper with every thrust. My body shook as we climaxed together. If only it could always be this way. Ashton held me in his arms, kissing me until I fell asleep.
~~~
Monday morning, Ashton went to work early. I got up and tried to find something to wear that wasn’t too tight. Seemed all my clothes were getting a little snug. I didn’t want to buy maternity clothes this soon. How could I have gained any weight? I’d been throwing up every morning. I decided to just ask Lucy to have her seamstress take out the waist of my suits. I hated Mondays sometimes.
Just smile and the world smiles with you, I thought. I walked into my office and there sat one dozen pink roses. How special.
Meet me at Giorgio’s for lunch.
~ Ashton
Giorgio’s was where we’d had our first dinner. Ashton could be so romantic when it came to things of the heart.
It was work as usual. Brenda walked in, coffee in hand, all smiles. “Can we talk? There is something I must tell you.”
“Sure, Brenda. Sit down while I close the door.” Brenda seemed preoccupied. “Is everything ok?”
“Yes, things are perfect as a matter of fact. I’m not sure how to say this or how you might feel. You knew Calvin and me were still having problems. We broke up.”
“Oh, Brenda, I’m sorry to hear that. Is there any chance of reconciliation?�
��
“I don’t think so. I’ve met someone else.”
“That was fast, anyone I know?”
“Yes. It’s Lance, your friend.” This took me by surprise.
“I didn’t know you two had even talked.”
“While he was here, I showed him the city, and we’ve being talking ever since. He’s such a terrific guy, Candice.”
“I know, but he lives in Atlanta. How is that going to work? He is contracted by Maxwell’s.”
“Candice, is there a problem with me dating Lance?”
“No, of course not, you’re my friend and so is he.”
“I just wanted to talk to you first. Lance said he had a thing for you when you were kids. Candice, we had the most magnificent time and he was such a gentleman.”
I really didn’t know how I felt about this, but I wanted my friends to be happy. Lance and Brenda would make a lovely couple. “Brenda, you couldn’t have made a better choice, I wish you and Lance the best.”
“He has business here this weekend, so we’re getting together afterwards. Maybe we will see the Color Purple.”
“I’m sorry about that night, Brenda.”
“It’s ok, that’s a reason to see it again. What are you doing for lunch?”
“Ashton asked me to meet him at Giorgio’s. It’s where we had our first date of sorts.”
“That sounds romantic.”
“I’ll see you when I get back.”
As I headed to Giorgio’s, I thought about my conversation with Brenda. I still had some left over feelings for Lance. When the driver pulled up in front of Giorgio’s, I continued to sit there for a minute. It’s funny how life comes full circle.
I walked into Giorgio’s. To my surprise, there stood Ashton, surrounded by everyone from the office along with Sofia and Marbella. What was going on? Ashton walked over to me and got down on one knee, “Candice, I love you. Will you marry me?”
I was so happy in that moment, “You know I will.” He opened this little black box with the most stunning five carat pink diamond ring. It was the most beautiful ring I had ever seen. I just stood there and cried, Ashton kissed me, “I can’t wait for you to be my wife.”
“Congratulations!” yelled everyone. Ashton had set this whole thing up. It was as perfect as he was.
Black Lies White Lies Page 17