“You know how Sabrina is, always wanting the best.”
Sabrina joined us and we walked into City Hall and asked to see the Mayor. My nerves were getting the best of me. The receptionist showed us to his office, “There is someone here to see you, Mayor.”
You would have thought he’d seen a ghost when we walked in. “Come in, Ladies, and shut the door. Phyllis, would you hold all my calls? This is a surprise, would you girls like something to drink.”
“No, Sir.”
“I’ll have one, if it’s all the same to you girls.”
“You know why we’re here,” Sabrina said matter of fact.
“Yes, I know. I have been waiting for this for some time.” He drank the scotch in one gulp, “It’s about my daughter.”
“So you’re admitting I’m your daughter?”
“I’ve never said you weren’t, Candice. I’ve just been waiting for you to come to me. Mattie told me you were my daughter the day you were born. I could only take care of you from a distance, because of James. You must understand, I did all I possibly could for you. Mattie never wanted you to go through any heartache.”
That was mighty white of her, I thought. All these years were nothing but lies. I hated it for me, but mostly for Daddy. “There was nothing more I wanted than for you to know, Candice. I was a married man with children at home, but I still loved your mother.”
We all stood there in shock to hear him say that. “I asked her to leave Brownsville and run away with me, but she always refused. She always thought of you girls first, saying she couldn’t take you from your father.” He seemed to be hurt by her staying for us. “Candice, I’m so sorry for your loss and I’m glad to have finally met you. There is one thing I have for you. I know you want nothing to do with me. I won’t even begin to hope that you would want me in your life. I’m glad that I can put all the lies and secrets behind me.”
“You might be my biological father, but my real father will always be James Robinson.”
“Believe me, I do understand, and I hope one day you will come around. But until then, this is for you,” he reached into his drawer and pulled out an envelope. “I hope this will help with your life or maybe even your wedding.” I must have looked shocked that he knew. “This is a small town Candice, not like New York.”
I took the envelope and placed it in my purse. “One more thing, can I give you a hug?” I hugged my father for the first time in my life.
We left his office not knowing what to think or say. Sandra and I drove to Aunt Sally’s in silence. We walked into the house not knowing what to say to each other. I just sat there feeling empty and scattered.
Sabrina walked in, “I must say that was an experience.”
“That’s an understatement. Candice, you have a lot to deal with right now.”
“You’re right, Sandra, this is just too much for me.” The tears started rolling down my face. I had so many emotions that I wasn’t ready to deal with.
“Candice, it’s ok to cry, just let it out.” And I did as Sandra held me. “You have the right to cry, it’s ok.”
“Sandra, it hurts so much. Why didn’t Momma tell me?”
“She had her reasons, I guess. You just have to let it go.”
“She’s right, Candice,” Sabrina said. “It’s done and over. You know now. We have each other to lean on. Let’s promise each other never to let this or anything come between us.” We all cried together. I was here with my sisters and I wouldn’t change anything about this day.
Later that night, after everyone went to bed, I took the envelope from my purse. There was a check and a letter.
Candice,
You are my daughter, and for so long, I had to deny that fact. I wished we could have been close or just father and daughter. This is a loss for us both, but I hope the loss is now over. Forgive your mother for all of this, because deep down, she truly loved you. I could only love you from a distance, but I still loved you. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me too.
I love you,
Your Father
The letter made me cry again. I guess he genuinely did love me in his own way. “What’s wrong, Baby? Is everything, ok?” Ashton asked, walking in.
“No, Ashton, it’s not. I met my real father today.”
“You did what? How? I thought…”
“I know what you thought. I thought the same thing for many years.”
“Why didn’t you say you were going to see him? I could have gone for moral support, if nothing else.”
“I had my sisters for that. They were actually there for me, Ashton.”
“I’m so glad you all are getting along. Your family is all you have.”
“I know that now, but for a long time I shut them out. I thought I was better than them. I can never tell them I used to feel this way. How would they ever forgive me, Ashton? How can I ever forgive myself?”
“Candice, I don’t think your family cares about the things of the past. You and your sisters are here today, and that’s all that matters. To see you and your family together makes me want to know more about mine. To know who my real mother and father truly are.”
“Ashton, do you think I should get to know my father?”
“That’s your choice, the choice only you can make. But, I’m here for you whatever that choice is.”
“That’s why I love you so much. You never cease to amaze me, Ashton Williams.”
~~~
The next day we headed back to Memphis. Ashton and I hung out at Sandra’s until our flight was scheduled to leave. I wanted to spend some quality time with Daddy, so we took him to brunch. We decided to go down on Beal Street to the Hard Rock Café. Ashton had never been to Memphis, so he was excited to see it at its best.
After we ate we walked in and out of all the novelty shops. Ashton was really thrilled with all the Elvis impersonators. I hadn’t been to see the new stadium, so we drove by it. It was monumental. Daddy and Ashton were thrilled. They were acting like children in a candy store. “Do you like baseball, Mr. Robinson?”
“Yeah, Ashton, the Saint Louis Cardinals are my favorite team.”
“They are good, but I love me some Yankees.”
“Well, you guys, that’s enough about sports.”
“Mr. Robinson, this has been an exciting day. Let me just say one thing…”
“Ashton, you can call me Buck, everybody does, Son. You’re making me feel old.”
“Ok, Buck, what do you think about visiting New York?”
“I’m excited about the new grandbaby. I can’t wait to see my daughter married. I think she has done well.”
“Thanks, Daddy,” I said happily. “I think I’ll keep him. We had better be getting you back to Sandra’s. Our flight leaves in a couple of hours.”
“I had a good time hanging out with you two, can’t wait to see the Big Apple.”
Sandra and Bryan were waiting for us when we got back. Sandra had made me a scrap book from when we were kids. “Sandra, this is as fantastic as the time we’ve spent together. Look at us in these pictures. We were so cute. Look at Daddy.”
“I made one for Sabrina too, but she thought I should put it on disk. This seemed so much more personal.”
“Forget Sabrina. She’s just mad because she didn’t think of it,” I gave her a big hug. “We better be getting to the airport, we only have about an hour.”
“Candice, I’m going to miss you, give me another hug.”
“I’m going to miss you too. This has been the best time.”
“I know, right? Sabrina is still a nut. And that’s the truth, always scheming. And here comes the drama Queen now. “
“I take it you two were speaking about me?”
“That’s right, you and all your glory.”
“Sandra, sometimes I think you’re jealous. It takes guts to be me.”
“Jealous? Are you kidding me? You are just over the top.” We were all laughing.
“Sabrina, Girl, don
’t you ever change.”
“Don’t worry, Candice, I won’t. What’s the point?” We all said our goodbyes. I was going to miss these two nuts. Aunt Sally’s wedding had truly brought us closer together.
Chapter 23
We arrived at JFK about 9:00. I was so tired. We took a limo to my apartment. I was starving. I had a craving for double chocolate ice cream and chicken wings. We finally walked in the door, “Ashton, would you call Wong’s and order wings?”
“Wings? Are you sure you want that this time of night?”
“Yes I do, I’ve got this craving.”
“If you eat those spicy wings this late it’s going to make you sick.”
“That’s the chance I’m willing to take,” I wanted them in the worst way.
“Ok, but I warned you about eating this late.” I think I ate wings, until they were coming out of my nose. I hated to admit it, but Ashton was right, as fast as I ate them, they came up even faster. My head hung over the toilet for an hour.
“Do you want me to call the doctor?” he asked, laughing. “I tried to warn your hard head, you just wouldn’t listen.” He wiped my head with a cool towel.
“There is no need to call the doctor. I’ll be ok in a minute.”
“I know you were just being greedy, eating all those wings.”
“Lesson learned, but I still want the ice cream.” I couldn’t help but laugh. Unfortunately, that was the beginning of getting sick three or four times a day.
A few days later I had an appointment with Dr. Henson for an ultra sound. Being sick this way had started to worry me. I arrived at the office and sat down to keep from falling down. Ashton was meeting me here. He walked in the door, “Honey is everything ok in there? Have you been getting sick again?”
“Yes, it seems like it never stops.”
“The doctor will be able to tell you more.”
“Let’s see what’s going on here, Ms. Robinson,” she rolled the machine over my belly. “What’s this? You guys are in for a surprise.”
“What’s going on with her, is the baby ok, doctor?” asked Ashton anxiously.
“Yes, everything seems to be good. Looks like you two are going to be the proud parents of twins.”
“Twins? Are you kidding me?” I was not prepared for this at all.
“No. I’m not kidding. Would you like to know the sex?”
“Ashton, would you like to know the sex? It’s up to you. I don’t care as long as they are healthy.”
“Yes, Dr. Henson, I do want to know.”
“Here goes,” she rolled the ball. “The first one looks like a boy… It is a boy. Look right here.” We could see his little wanker. Ashton smiled with pride. “We have one more and this one is… another boy.” The tears rolled down my face, the happiness I felt at that moment.
“You have made me the happiest man in the world. I love you so much, Candice.”
“I’ll leave you two alone to take this all in.” We held each other and cried happy tears. Dr. Henson gave me something for the morning sickness and we left.
“Candice, let’s celebrate. Would you like some ice cream?”
“You know I do, let’s hit the one with a thousand and one flavors.”
Ashton laughed, “Here we go again.”
The medicine Dr. Henson gave me seemed to work. I woke up with no morning sickness.
After I arrived at the office, I called Lucy about my dress. “It’s ready for you to try on. When can you come in? We might need to do some alterations.”
“That’s why I called. We might need to do a lot of alterations.”
“What do you mean by a lot?”
“I mean I went to the doctor and she said I was going to have twins.”
“Congratulations! But what are we going to do about this dress? Wait. I think I have a plan. Maybe we can find an alternate dress.”
“That sounds fantastic, Lucy, but I want to come try on the one you have.”
“Don’t worry, Candice, it will work it out.”
I called Caroline, my wedding planner to see if things were on schedule. “Candice, I’m glad you called, have you picked a venue?”
“That’s why I was calling. I was thinking about having my wedding in Hawaii.”
“Hawaii? This is a real change of plans, but you know I can make it work. You know it’s going to cost you. Hawaii in December. Do we know the number of guests yet?”
“It will be small, but spare no cost.”
“I hear you loud and clear. Maybe we can book one of the private islands.”
“That sounds wonderful.”
“Talk to you soon, Candice, I’ll have all the reservations in a few weeks.”
“Thanks, I’ll get back to you on the guest list.” Brenda walked in while I was talking to Caroline. I signaled her to have a seat.
“What’s going on, making wedding plans?”
I nodded in response as I hung up the phone. “Yes, I’m having the wedding in Hawaii.”
“Hawaii? That’s fancy and expensive.”
“I have a little extra money to spend so I’m going to do it right. And I have some fantastic news, I’m having twins.”
“Twins?! Congratulations! Does Ashton know?”
“Yes, he was so proud.”
“I bet he was. Twins. That’s something to be proud of. Candice, I have some terrific news too. Things are getting serious with Lance. I think he’s going to propose. I know it’s fast but I’m in love with him. We made love for the first time. Girl, he is something.”
I felt a little uncomfortable having this conversation with Brenda. Lance and I had never gone that far, but he’d always had a way with the ladies. “I’m so happy for you and Lance. He’s going to make you happy.”
“Every time I’m with him, I never want to leave. It’s like a dream come true, he’s such a kind man.”
“It seems we are both getting what we want.”
“How was your trip home, did everything go as planned?”
“Yes, things went well. My sisters and I got even closer. Planning a wedding is hard work, but I think it going to be fabulous. Brenda, you know you’re going to Hawaii, right? I want you to be my Maid of Honor.”
“Really? That’s such a privilege. I thought you would choose one of your sisters.”
“You have been my friend since I moved to New York. My sisters are going to be my bride’s maids, they will be ok with that. That way I don’t have to choose.”
“Yes, of course I’ll be your Maid of Honor.”
“I’ve got to tell Ashton I’ve chosen Hawaii for the wedding. Caroline thought it should be on a private island. This way I won’t have to worry about this dress situation. I can wear something cute and airy. You know what, Brenda? I’m going to give you the dress I had made.”
“Candice, are you serious? That’s so sweet of you.”
“That way you’ll have something new and then all you need is something borrowed, blue and old.” We hugged. “Can you believe we’re both getting married?”
“Even though Lance hasn’t asked me yet, I think he will soon.”
“Don’t worry, if I know anything about him, he will.”
“I’m going to Atlanta this weekend and then we’re going to Brownsville to meet his parents.”
“You’re going to love them. I’ve known them all my life.”
Brenda
Chapter 24
I wasn’t sure how Candice would feel when I told her I might be moving to Atlanta. The girl from Spanish Harlem was finally getting what she wanted. I was from a big family. My mother was Puerta Rican and my father was black. With eight brothers and sisters, times where always tight. My father worked two jobs to take care of us. My mother was a store front psychic. Her mother had handed down her voodoo of sorts. I believed my mother had a gift and people paid decent money for whatever it was she had. We grew up over the store, sharing three bedrooms.
It was hard for my father, working and keeping my brothers
out of trouble. Mother taught us to sew, so we made most of our clothes. We would frequent the garment district and pick up any fabrics they’d discarded. I had always thought I would be a designer, but my family was cash poor.
I knew I would go to college, even if I had to work my fingers to the bone. I signed up at City College and took some business classes. At night, I worked at a broker’s office, filing papers. I had done this for about a year, catching one subway train after another, until I met Candice.
She worked for Maxwell, Inc. I would see her at the coffee shop I frequented. She was always dressed with such class. She was the woman I aspired to be. She had this hair, which looked as if it was on fire. I couldn’t tell if she was black or white, I just knew she seemed different.
That day the coffee shop was full and she was sitting alone. I asked if I could sit with her and the rest was history. We talked when we would see each other at the coffee shop. She always seemed to have a sadness about her. She didn’t talk much about her family, and I didn’t ask.
I didn’t have school or work since it was Thanksgiving week. I thought about Candice, being in the city with no family. I decided to call her and invite her to Thanksgiving dinner with my family. She agreed to come. I knew she lived uptown and had never been to Harlem. I went to get her, so she wouldn’t have to come alone. I took the subway to her apartment. This was nice I thought. It came with a doorman. This was living. The doorman directed me to the elevators. Her apartment was on the tenth floor.
This was nicer than anything I had ever seen. I knocked on her door, “Come in,” she said, opening the door. “I’m almost ready. I just have to get my coat. Would you like something to drink?” “No, I’m good.” Her apartment was unbelievable. White furniture? You have to be kidding. The walls were soft pink with white trim. What would she think when she saw my place? I stood in Candice’s living room and took in the view. “Brenda, I’m ready if you are. Are we taking the subway?”
“I’m ready, and yes we’re taking the subway. Your apartment is spectacular, Candice.”
“Thank you. It’s my home away from home.”
We were having dinner at my parents place. I had made sure there would be enough food. My sisters and I had cleaned and made sure things were pleasant. Thanksgiving at our house was always festive. My mother would cook dishes that she’d had as a girl. My favorites were her chicken and dressing casserole and double chocolate cake. My father always said he married my mother for her cooking and no one could outdo her. My parents really loved each other. They were always love on each other. I wanted the kind of marriage they had. They had married young and were still in love.
Black Lies White Lies Page 20