I slapped a hand lightly on David’s back. “You alright? You wanna step outside for a minute?”
He shook his head. “I wanna stay and dance with my wife.”
I waved away the concerned staff and turned back to him. “I think that’s a good plan, but first, take a walk with me outside. Let’s clear your head before you Hulk out on us. Then, we’ll grab another round and you can get that dance.”
In another life, where things weren’t completely fucked up, I probably would’ve made a kick-ass parent. Pulling David out of a rage couldn’t have been much different than calming a toddler after a tantrum.
Shit, it was probably easier to deal with the toddler.
Lauren
May 2014
I waited until the guys separated before following Elizabeth back out to the patio. She was in the exact same spot I’d been only an hour before, staring vacantly over the railing toward the pond.
I reached for her hand. “He’s gone. Nobody had to throw any punches. Mike’s calming David down now—that was Landon, wasn’t it?”
She reached into her purse and grabbed a pill bottle. She popped one in her mouth before taking my drink and swallowing it down. “Anxiety medication—Look, Lauren, I really don’t want to talk about it right now, but yeah, that was him.”
“What was he doing here? Did he know you were going to be here?” My pulse started to race with panic.
I wanted to tell myself that I’d simply been watching too much Investigation Discovery, but it didn’t look good. First, he’d waited for her after work and then her house had been broken into. The police had no leads, but she and I both suspected it had been Landon. Him showing up tonight didn’t seem like much of a coincidence.
Elizabeth rubbed her temples and sighed, “I don’t know why he was here. I didn’t start things up again if that’s what you’re wondering.” She lowered her voice as she said the last part, as if David might pop up out of the pond at any moment. I pictured him spitting out a snorkel, before screaming, “I knew it!” The thought made me purse my lips together in order to remain serious.
Elizabeth looked sincere and based on the way her hands were trembling, she really hadn’t planned on seeing him tonight. I squeezed her hand again. “I believe you. I just don’t understand why he turns up here tonight and what—busts a move on you?”
She was given a reprieve from my questioning when David and Mike walked back up.
Mike.
I still couldn’t believe it. When I saw him standing in David and Elizabeth’s living room, I was almost certain that I’d been hallucinating. The man that no other man could compete against was right in front of me.
He’d apparently been spending all of his time in the gym since I last saw him—the man was rock solid muscle. His biceps were straining to break free from his dress shirt and it took everything in me not to jump on him. While his hair was shorter, I’d been more than a little pleased to see that he still had the beard.
He’d seemed just as speechless to see me as I was him. It dredged up all those lustful feelings I’d been trying to keep buried for the last four years and changed my entire game plan.
I’d convinced myself that I could have casual sex while on my quest to find Mr. Right, but Jack—Mike—had always been the one. Now, I didn’t know what the hell I was supposed to do.
I knew I was tempting fate when I’d felt his eyes on me back at the house. I’d taken my time getting the champagne out of my car, knowing he was watching my every move.
Unfortunately, my confidence had faltered a bit by the time we got to Nick’s. Elizabeth once shared, after several glasses of champagne, that she hadn’t slept with David until she had a ring on her finger. Sandra swore that soulmates didn’t exist and said, “You just have to get it, get it, get it until you can’t get it anymore.”
Those were her exact words.
Sandra had also convinced me in Galveston that Mike was a man who only wanted one thing. Unfortunately, I hadn’t been able to get Elizabeth alone long enough to pick her brain.
I’d grown up not knowing my father. From what I’d been able to piece together from Monica over the years, I’d come to the assumption that he’d been a one-night stand.
Did I want to end up like Monica?
Wasn’t I worth more than that?
When Mike joined me out on the patio, I was right back where I started in Galveston, weighing the pros and cons of sleeping with him. It was futile—the minute he fixed those piercing blue eyes on me, all the cons went right out the window.
David wrapped his arms around Elizabeth. “You okay, Beth? God, you just looked so scared. It’s amazing that some guys have absolutely no respect.”
I turned away, afraid my face would give away all my secrets.
“You got something you wanna share with the class?” Mike whispered in my ear.
I looked over at him and smiled sweetly. “I have no idea what you mean. Weren’t you about to tell me something back in there…before all the drama?”
He’d been going in for a kiss; I knew it.
With a playful grin on his face, he responded, “I have no idea what you mean. Are you trying to pick me up, Lauren? I’m not that kind of guy. I’m actually already seeing someone.”
Maybe I’d misread the situation. I stared down at the patio deck and fidgeted with my earring. I could feel my cheeks growing warm; I was probably as red as a tomato right now.
He reached out and lightly grabbed my upper arm. “Hey, Red, I’m fucking with you. I’d screw you in the bathroom right now if you’d let me.”
I expected him to laugh, but when I looked in his eyes, I realized that he was serious.
And that was the moment I knew that I would never be anything more than a notch in Mike’s bedpost. It was also the moment that I decided, I was worth so much more than that.
My four year-long fantasy came to an abrupt end right there on the patio at Nick’s.
“Thanks for inviting me. I had a blast.” I almost tripped over my heels in my haste to get out of the limo and into my car.
I’d sat and picked apart a napkin, while David and Elizabeth danced as if they didn’t have a care in the world. Mike had pulled out his cell phone not long after our conversation and spent the remainder of the evening pretending I wasn’t sitting just across the table from him.
I snatched my purse off the seat and walked briskly to my car.
“Red! C’mon, Red. Wait up.” Mike jogged after me.
I was fumbling through my purse, trying to find my keys, when he caught up to me. “Hey, talk to me.”
My eyes began to sting and I mentally kicked myself for being weak. I bit down on the inside of my cheek and looked up from my purse. “It’s Lauren and I just want to get home. It’s late.”
He ran both hands through his hair in exasperation. “At least let me walk you to your car.”
I pointed at the window. “We’re at my car.”
He dropped his hands. “Right. I could go back to your place and we could talk.”
I snorted and shook my head. “Yeah, I’m gonna pass on that. Thanks for the offer though, and good luck with the whole cop thing.”
I located my keys and managed to get the door unlocked and open when he slammed it shut again. “Just hear me out, Lauren. I don’t know what you’re expecting, but—”
“You’re not it,” I finished helpfully, before reopening the door and climbing in. It wasn’t the truth. The truth was that I wanted him just as badly, if not more, than he wanted me. Being transparent about that would only cause me more hurt in the end.
I made it to the end of the block before the sob broke free from my chest. Then I pounded my fist against the steering wheel and screamed.
Why couldn’t he have seen me as more than just his next conquest?
Didn’t what we shared mean anything to him?
He probably did that sort of thing with all the girls he met.
That thought caused me to dissolve
into full-blown weeping. I just wanted someone that wanted to fall in love with me—was that too much to ask?
I pulled into my apartment complex, knowing that the only resolute decision I’d come to tonight was the realization that I was most certainly never going to be a one-night stand girl. I’d also decided, about three blocks ago, that I had been born in the wrong time period.
I changed my mind.
I didn’t want a love like David and Elizabeth’s—theirs was flawed by modern day problems like infidelity and job locations.
I wanted a love like Darcy and Elizabeth in Pride & Prejudice. Mr. Darcy would never have asked Elizabeth to ‘screw in the bathroom.’ Granted, their relationship got off to a rocky start, but it grew into something amazing. Maybe that’s what I’d really been holding out for the last few years. A great love that wasn’t attainable in this day and age.
I parked my car and rubbed the remaining tears from my eyes. If that was the case, then I’d have to make my peace with dying a lonely, cat-collecting spinster.
First, I was going to have to go buy some cats.
What I wasn’t going to do was waste one more tear on a man who wouldn’t know great love even if it jumped up and slapped him in the face.
“Hey, Lauren.”
My chin dropped onto my chest and I contemplated climbing back inside my car and speeding off again.
Instead, I stood my ground. “Wow, Monica. I’m starting to think you have a radar that goes off just when things in my life are starting to look up. Ding! Time to fuck up Lauren’s world. Am I close?”
She cautiously took a couple of steps toward me and I realized it was the healthiest I’d ever seen her. She’d put on some weight, but it looked good on her. Her hair had been washed and straightened and while her makeup had gone out of style when the eighties ended, she was at least wearing some. She was also wearing a leather vest for some inexplicable reason.
“I didn’t mean to startle you. I just wanted to see you,” Monica ventured, as she took another step closer, “Have you been crying?”
I gave a half-hearted shrug. “What does it matter? I’m guessing you’re here for the car or what? My wallet? My apartment? What possession of mine are you entitled to have this time around?”
Thanks to Mike, I’d officially run out of fucks to give.
She shook her head. “I’m not here for anything like that. I’ve actually got my own thing going on now.”
I laughed bitterly, “Doing what? Running a motorcycle gang?”
She bit her lip and nodded. “Something like that. I’m an ol’ lady. It’s real classy. See?” She twirled around and there it was on the back of the leather vest: Property of Torch.
I bobbed my head up and down slowly. “I see. So, what does an ‘old lady’ do?”
I didn’t care and I didn’t know why I was humoring her. I wanted to get upstairs to my apartment, kick off my heels, and throw myself face down on the bed.
“I just do whatever needs to be done for my man—I started out as a club whore, which just meant that anyone could use me for sex or—”
I held a hand up. “Okay, I’ve heard enough. I’m just going to head upstairs and get some sleep. If you’re planning on stealing anything, just let me know and I’ll make sure I just leave it out for you.”
She reached out and grabbed my arm and I wrenched it back, knocking her to the ground in the process. “Do not touch me! Don’t you ever touch me!”
“Lauren, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m not here for anything, I swear. I’ve been sober for sixty-three days and I wanted you to know.” She reached into her pocket and pulled out a wad of cash. “I also brought you some money to pay you back for the car and for other stuff I took from you.”
There she was, sitting in the parking lot offering me money that she’d probably gotten by performing sexual favors for a biker gang. It was a pathetic sight.
I tightened my hold on my purse strap. “I don’t want your money. I just want to be left alone.”
She moved onto all fours and got herself upright again. “I understand you might need some time to think it over, but you can accept this—free and clear.”
My jaw ached from clenching my teeth and I barked out, “I don’t need some time, Monica. I don’t want anything you’re offering. Not now…not ever. I just want you to leave me the hell alone. Can you do that? Can you just disappear?”
She wiped at her eyes and I realized she was crying. “I’m sorry, Lauren. I’m so sorry for not being the mom you deserved—”
I turned and jogged up the stairs to my apartment in heels. I couldn’t do it—I couldn’t stand there a moment longer, listening to her regrets over parenting.
The entire evening had been filled with wishes that were never going to come true and dreams that had morphed into nightmares.
I deserved so much better than the shitty hand I’d been dealt.
Chapter Nine
June 2014
“Like this?” Ginger looked up at me with hopeful eyes.
I shook my head and pushed her mouth down on me. “Like that. Use your hand and your mouth. See? Better already.”
It wasn’t better already.
I just wanted her to shut the fuck up.
Ginger wasn’t even her real name. I’d forgotten that within minutes of meeting her at the bar during happy hour. She had red hair and in my beer fog, she reminded me a little bit of Lauren.
Lauren.
She’d waltzed in the room in her green dress and promptly fucked up my world. That bitch.
Suffice it to say that my date with her hadn’t gone quite like I’d hoped. Since then, my entire sex life had gone to shit. It didn’t matter how many women I fucked—all I could think about was the one who’d shot me down.
I just wanted what I couldn’t have.
That was what it boiled down to. If I’d had my one night with her, she’d have been out of my system and I would have been ready for the next one to come along.
Instead, I’d faced rejection and ended up back where I’d been in Galveston—drunk and disorderly. I felt myself growing sloppy again and I knew that Grey was gonna nail my ass any minute over it. I had a plan though. I was gonna tell him to go after Lauren—the whole thing was her fault anyway.
It was also David’s fault because who in their right mind invites their buddy out for a platonic date? That asshole. Yeah, I was gonna have to add his name to my list too.
I’d confronted him the day after our failed date, certain that he’d pulled her aside sometime after our encounter with the drunk.
“I swear to you, man, I didn’t say a word. Maybe she just saw through your act. Someday, Mike, there’s going to be a woman who comes along and makes you crazy. It’s like I told you at my wedding. And, when you fall, you’re going to fall hard—but Lauren isn’t that woman.”
Motherfucker.
I might’ve started drinking early today.
I looked over at the out-of-focus nightstand and tried to find the bottle of Cuervo. I shook it and heard the tequila as it splashed up the sides of the bottle.
See, totally sober.
My phone began ringing. David. I’d dodged his calls long enough. Maybe he was calling to admit that he’d made a mistake with the whole Lauren thing.
Ginger bobbed off and stared at me. “Are you gonna turn your phone off?”
I pushed her mouth back down onto my dick. “Shhhh…” Then I answered. “David, you cocksucker. What the fuck do you want?”
The other end of the line was eerily silent and then I heard a choking sound. “Mike, there was a car accident. Beth won’t wake up—she won’t wake up!”
I sat up so quickly that Ginger lost her balance and toppled off the bed. “Go. Now,” I directed her.
“I’m on my way. Tell me which hospital they took her to.”
I didn’t remember getting into my truck or driving to the hospital. I came to somewhere outside of the automatic sliding doors of the emerg
ency room.
I pushed my way past the early weekend crowd in search of David.
Instead, I found Lauren.
She was sitting on one of the gray plastic chairs in the corner, her face a mask of grief.
“Lauren?” My voice cracked, but I pushed through it. “Is she?” I didn’t know how to finish the sentence.
Suddenly, I was sober and everything had changed.
What had been important to me an hour ago, no longer mattered.
She looked up at me and her eyes filled with tears. “I—I don’t know. They told me to wait here.”
I nodded and sat down in the empty chair next to hers. “I’ll wait with you.”
She shook her head. “That’s really not necessary. You see—”
I held my hand up. “Stop. Neither one of us needs to be alone right now.”
“She’s not alone, actually.”
I rolled my eyes and glanced up to see a man in a suit holding two cups of coffee. “And you are?”
He gestured with the cups. “I’m her date. Brant. And you are?”
What was I?
The tool who’d tried to get in her pants?
“He’s David’s best friend, Brant.” Lauren answered wearily, before choking up again.
And there it was.
I was nothing to her.
I’d blamed her for our failed date, but it had been me. She wanted monogamy, I wanted a ménage. Now that another guy was in the picture, I was reconsidering.
David walked out into the waiting room before I could formulate a solid response. “Hey,” he managed, before his jaw tightened. “Thanks for uh—thanks for coming.”
I pulled him into a hug. “I’m here for you. Whatever you need. Is she gonna be okay?”
He held a fist up to his mouth and exhaled slowly. “Beth was on the side that got t-boned. She hit her head and lost consciousness. They’re running tests and scans—I don’t know.”
Lauren sniffled and then pressed her hands to her eyes as her shoulders shook with sobs. Before I could even take a step toward her, Brant slid over and pulled her to his chest.
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