“Diplomacy is for pussies.” Ussier clapped a hand on my shoulder. “Get out of here, Corvin, and take that nuisance daughter of Kristair’s and her ugly friend too. I’m going to have someone escort you all home and keep an eye on you until things die down. Don’t argue with me,” he interrupted, his gaze suddenly flinty when I started to do just that. “They’ve already proven they can get to you through your friends and I’m not about to let them. I’ll see you tomorrow night. Until then, stay out of trouble.”
I recognized a dismissal when I saw one and reluctantly headed out, uneasy with so many conflicting emotions and thoughts running through my head.
“Mr. Corvin, you said he’d never intentionally betray you.” I paused, tensing myself for what was coming, but it still didn’t soften the blow. “You think that’s still true?”
“I wish I knew.”
Chapter 5
KAYLA WAS subdued the entire way back to campus. She’d wrapped her jacket tight around herself and stared out the window as Steve sped through the light traffic. She hadn’t even commented on the guards Ussier had following us, and that was unlike her.
It was enough to distract Steve from asking all the questions that had to be burning in his mind. He didn’t say a word, just kept casting Kayla little glances before reaching over to take her hand. Her fingers curled around his darker ones and I frowned at the little stab of jealousy that pricked me.
So what if they had something going on? I stuffed my fists into my jacket and ignored them, or at least tried to. Kayla was upset about the envelope and Steve was trying to comfort her. No biggie. Only it emphasized the empty space on the seat next to me, where Kristair should be sitting, and reminded me that I wasn’t doing a very good job taking care of his daughter like I’d promised.
Steve pulled up in front of the dorms and shut off the engine. “Do you want me to come up with you?”
Kayla shook her head and withdrew her hand. “No, I want to be alone tonight.” She gave him a smile, no less enchanting for the touch of sadness about it, and I noticed how it worked its magic on my friend. Oh boy.
He nodded. “Call me if you need to.” Steve met my eyes in the rearview mirror. “Jake, I expect to see you tomorrow night.”
I clasped the hand he held up with a surge of affection for my friend. Steve and his quiet strength were always there, whenever I needed it, whether I deserved it or not. “I’ll be there.”
He pointed a finger at me. “See that you do.”
I stepped out of his SUV and nodded at the men Ussier had sent in the car following us. Several got out to escort Kayla and me to our rooms and the remaining two stayed to see Steve home. It occurred to me to wonder if Ussier had thought of the possibility the Syndicate might hire someone to attack me during the day. Knowing him, though, he probably had. Ussier was thorough, I’d give him that.
I walked a couple steps away to give Kayla and Steve some privacy. What would Kristair think of those two? He and Steve had been at odds from their very first meeting when Kristair had strolled right into our apartment, and it had gone to hell from there. He’d probably appreciate the irony of it. At least he’d recognized that Steve was a good guy; Kristair had just enjoyed antagonizing him.
The sound of the door opening alerted me and I turned to face Kayla. I loved the little minx, as Kristair had sometimes called her in his thoughts. She was a sister to me, a confidante unlike any other girl I’d ever met, and that compelled me to offer my company despite my reluctance. “You sure you don’t want me to come up?”
She smiled and came over to kiss my cheek. “You’re a sweet one, Jake, despite your insufferable stubbornness. I’ll be fine. Thanks for offering.”
Relief swept through me and I felt like a frickin coward for it, but it was there just the same. “Come on, trouble,” I said, slinging an arm around her shoulders. “Let me walk you upstairs anyway and make sure you’re tucked in.”
“Walking upstairs I’ll allow. As for the other, forget it.”
I chuckled and shrugged a shoulder. “A man can try.” I walked her up to her room and hesitated, strangely reluctant to be by myself, again. “You sure you don’t want me to stay? I don’t mind.”
“Yes, you do.” She smiled, trying to take away the sting of guilt. “Yeah, hotshot, I’m sure. There is something you can do for me though.”
“Anything.”
“I wish it were that easy. Sometimes you look at me and I see him and it’s so hard.” Kayla studied me for a moment, her eyes grave, and then her hand came up to cup my cheek. It would be so easy to give in to her comfort. If I were to kiss her, she’d let me. If I were to push her further, she’d probably let me as well, all because I sometimes reminded her of a man she’d loved for years. A man we both loved. And fuck, if it didn’t feel like I was committing some kind of emotional incest, I’d fall into that desire, let her ease me. Who was I kidding? I couldn’t use her that way.
She made a soft, sad little sound and leaned closer to me, her hand slipping into my hair, her forehead resting against my own. “Oh Jake, sometimes looking at you just breaks my heart.”
Gee, thanks lady, I thought, but before I could respond, she pulled back again with a shake of her head. “You’ve got to stop holding it in. You’re killing yourself. All that anger and grief… you’ve got to let it out.”
Whatever I had expected her to say, that was not it, and the surprise cut through my spurt of rage. I raked a hand through my hair. Girls, I swear. They thought a good cry and a box of chocolates solved every problem.
“It’s not going to bring him back. It’s not going to solve anything.”
“Jake, I swear that’s something Kris would say, not you. The Jake I knew felt things, passionately and to the fullest. If he was pissed, you knew. If he was happy, or hurt, he expressed it and then let the storm blow over. You’ve been hanging onto it for months, letting it build, and that’s so much like my father. In this one thing, at least, don’t let him influence you.”
“Kayla, I can’t.” Fuck, I hated seeing her face fall like that. “I don’t know where to start.” The very thought of letting it loose was terrifying and I closed right up inside at the notion. “I’m sorry.”
I took a step away, turning my back. The sound of her door shutting was a lonely echo in the long hallway. Good job, asswipe, I snarled to myself. Way to go helping her to feel better.
My own room was just across the quad and ten minutes later I locked the door behind me after I’d checked to make sure no one was lurking inside. Ussier’s men were somewhere outside watching and it was too reminiscent of those months Kristair had sat outside my window, watching and waiting for me to give in. So much for letting go tonight and making a clean break of it.
Sitting down in the window, I pulled out the number Tony had given me and hesitated. God, I hoped I knew what I was doing. Once again, I was running on pure instinct. Only this time, I hoped it wouldn’t come back to bite me in the ass.
As the phone rang, I stared out over the city. Was Tony out there somewhere or was he lying low in one of the suburbs? I studied the shadows as well, seeking some sign of Ussier’s men, but wherever they were, they were well hidden.
“Jake?” Tony’s voice had changed, almost as much as the man had. He sounded… more sure of himself, I guess. He’d always kinda looked to me and Steve for guidance. Now, he was standing on his own with no hesitance. Perversely, I felt a little pride at that, not because I’d abandoned him and forced him to this point, but because Steve and I had always known he had it in him. The only one who hadn’t known was Tony.
“Yeah, it’s me. I talked with Ussier.”
“And?”
I drew in a breath; it was too late to second-guess now. “He’ll meet with ya, tomorrow night at Pooh Corner. It’s a bar and pool hall in Oakland. He said to be there at eleven.”
Tony was quiet for several moments. I wished I could see his face. Maybe it would tell me what he was thinking. “He promised me he’
d hear you out. You’re not to be touched coming or going,” I tried to reassure him.
He laughed, sarcastic and sharp. “Excuse me if I have trouble having faith in either of your promises.”
“Look, I did what ya asked.” I drew my knees up to my chest and leaned my head against the wall, closing my eyes. “You wanted me to arrange a meeting and I did. Punk out if you want to, but Ussier is not a patient man. He might not agree to meet again if you pull a no-show. So if you want to say whatever you came here to say, now’s your chance. You’ve got his curiosity up, but if you renege, he will come looking for you. Why don’t you think on that?” It was something I wanted to avoid at all costs.
“Thanks for the warning. I say we’re even now.”
“Tony, wait….” But it was too late; he’d already hung up. I cussed under my breath and tried calling him back, but it went straight to voice mail. Dammit. I stared blindly out the window and tried to figure out what do next. I wanted to call Steve. Hell, what did Tony want? It was far from over. One little favor wasn’t going to absolve my debt to him. Setting up a meeting didn’t equate to Tony saving my life or the hell I’d put him through.
“He wants something else,” Kristair reasoned.
It didn’t take a genius to figure that one out. I sighed and scrubbed a hand through my hair. I’d see how tomorrow night played out. Whether or not Tony showed, I was talking to Steve afterward. I wasn’t gonna let him continue stewing when Tony was kicking around town.
I puttered about my room to distract myself. I even pulled out my homework and tried to put a dent in it, but that only stirred up Kristair more. Even if it did succeed in driving back my guilt some, it wasn’t worth the heartache. I was too tired to block him out. Even though we’d shared our thoughts for months, I never realized how much my lover enjoyed books, learning. He loved the scent of them, their weight in his hands. He loved arguing points for the sake of arguing, of challenging the mind.
I quickly gave up and shut off the light to stare up at my ceiling for what seemed like hours. Sleep crept in and I fought that too. I didn’t want to dream tonight. I didn’t want to dream of him and everything I’d lost, even if it was nice to pretend for a bit that nothing had changed. “Kristair… god please, love, come home.”
There was an answering whisper in my mind, and this time, without fighting the call, I slipped into a dream.
KRISTAIR AND I sat entwined on his overstuffed chair in the room behind his office. I remembered this night all too well. It was the night I’d first told Kristair I loved him. It was also the night those Syndicate bastards started their war. Some part of me knew I was dreaming and I shifted restlessly on the bed before sinking deeper, still struggling to return to consciousness.
I straddled Kristair, my mouth hungry on his. As we made out in his chair, in the back of my mind was the knowledge that the Syndicate was on their way to ruin our evening. Kristair would walk away from me to confront them and before the night was over two people would have died and my lover would have a bounty set on him.
It lent desperation to my kisses and my hands fisted into his shirt as if by doing so I could keep him with me. I wanted him to stay, to sink his teeth into me and make me feel alive again.
Kristair broke the kiss, his eyes more unreadable than ever. Then he smiled, a tender, loving one that made me ache inside. It lit me up, filled me with warmth. “Just ask me, mo chroí.”
“Stay.” I cupped his face in my hands and pressed my forehead to his. “Please stay.”
“Always.” He kissed me again before pulling back to strip my sweater off, revealing my tattoos, which were a perfect match to his, a mirror image my right to his left. Tattoos that he’d somehow painted on me permanently our first night together. There were several of various design, on my chest and back and one covering my side. Some I could make out as creatures; others I didn’t understand. But what I did like about them was when we were pressed against each other, it was almost like fitting a puzzle piece together that fit as one.
He brushed his lips on the bare spot of skin between the two griffin heads on the torc. That didn’t fit with my memory of the night either, because on that night in my dream I hadn’t found it yet. If in fact my dream self turned around on the chair it would be lying somewhere on the bookshelf behind me. But I didn’t move. I didn’t want to think about how I’d last seen this room, gutted from the fire, all of Kristair’s treasures lost but one. I didn’t want to think about what was going to happen.
I kept waiting for Kristair to tense, to look at the door and announce the Syndicate’s approach, but he remained warm and supple in my arms. If he sensed their arrival, he didn’t mention it, and I pushed them from my mind. It was easy to do with him under me when I was touching him. I pushed away my internal war and surrendered to the dream.
“So, where were we, Kristair?” I slid his shirt down his shoulders, fisting the fabric in my hands so that it tightened around his arms and tugged him closer. I reveled in the power I held over him. He loved me enough to open himself up to me, to leave himself vulnerable. He’d showed me that time and again, and in my insecurities I hadn’t noticed right away. Only, those were regrets for another time. Right then, I only wanted to be buried inside of him, with no interruptions.
“Stripping each other naked and about to fuck on the chair,” Kristair replied, his thighs tensing as he kicked out of his shoes.
“Yeah, something like that.” I grinned, utterly happy because somehow it seemed like I was getting my way. I knew I could be childish sometimes and prone to fits of selfishness. And yeah, maybe that was how I was acting now, but I didn’t care.
I nipped at the tender skin just behind his earlobe, feeling the heat emanating from him, banishing the chill that had been in his flesh earlier. His head fell back, baring the elegance of his neck, and I dragged my tongue from his collarbone up to the hollow of his throat.
Kristair groaned, his fingertips stroking my forearms, though he made no attempt to rid himself from the tangle of his shirt while I continued to feast on his throat. His skin tasted clean, as if he had just bathed, and the image of him standing under a hot cascade of water made me weak. God damn, that was a fucking gorgeous thought.
I released him, standing up to get rid of my shoes and jeans. I loved the sensation of his eyes zealously hot on me, loved hearing the wicked whisper of his thoughts as he watched me. It added such spice.
“You’re certainly inventive,” I said, grinning. Then my voice turned teasing as I cocked my head and looked at him with his shirt half-hanging off him, sitting there still clothed before my own nakedness. “Get out of those damned clothes.”
Kristair’s eyes lit up, and as he rose, I knew he was going to indulge my need for dominance. Lord, he made me hungry for all kinds of naughty things I could do to him, knowing he’d let me with only a token protest. If that.
His shirt fell from around his elbows to drift onto the floor. His eyes were hooded and hot as his hands went to the button and zipper of his pants. Whatever he was thinking or feeling was lost to me as he drew the whispering fabric down his long legs. “Damn, Kristair.” I would never get over just how elegantly sexy he was.
He smirked. “You don’t seem to be half so mouthy now.”
I looked up from my contemplation of the hard planes of his body, dusted with just a smattering of dark hair, and returned his smile. “I’m sure I’ll make up for it later.” I closed the distance between us and spun him around to face the chair. I wasn’t interested in foreplay, or in being gentle, or in playing with him. All I wanted was to fuck him. I wanted him to still feel me inside of him when he went out to meet his guests, my scent heavy on his skin. If they ever arrived. Maybe they wouldn’t; this was my fantasy, after all, and I was going to enjoy it to the fullest.
Kristair didn’t say anything as he knelt on the cushions, moving forward so I would fit behind him without falling off the chair. The anticipation was so strong in him that I could almost taste it
; it mirrored my own impatience. I spied his collage of candid pictures of me over his shoulder and turned my lips to his ear. “What is it you see when you look at those photos, my beautiful stalker?” I whispered.
He hesitated then turned his head toward me. “I see a smart-mouthed brat who’s entirely too arrogant and used to getting his own way.” Though his tone was acerbic, Kristair wasn’t able to hide the surge of profound love that came with his words.
I chuckled and nipped at his shoulder in response. He had no room to talk. His own mouth put mine to shame. I slid my palms down his lean torso, over those hips that fit so right in my hands, and then rested them on his smooth thighs. “You’re avoiding the question, love.” Roughly, I pulled his thighs wider apart, reveling in his soft moan.
His head dropped back onto my shoulder and I pressed my lips against his neck. I slid my fingers down the cleft of his ass, sensing the way his anticipation fluttered through him. My other hand cradled his chin, forcing his head up so that he was looking directly at the pictures again as I slowly pushed my fingers into him.
“That right there, my love, those pictures are the actions of a stalker, and you sure as hell did hunt me down and hound me, just the way a stalker would.” He tensed slightly at my words, then relaxed again as I pressed my fingers against his prostate, causing a sharp stab of pleasure to tear through him. I loved how our connection made it possible for me to feel everything he was feeling.
“However, I know that you aren’t one. That bond you created between us let me know exactly how you felt about me. How much you loved me and wanted to take care of me. So shy and worried if I would accept you. And you tried so hard to keep me from realizing how deeply you cared. So tell me, Mr. Bad-ass Vampire, what do you see?”
Kristair twisted in my arms to give me a warning look, oddly mixed with intense desire. He caught my lower lip in his teeth and gave it a stinging nip before kissing me hard. My fingers kept up their ruthless rhythm, not even faltering when he bit my lip again and I tasted my blood as our tongues entwined.
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