“When I was given the scholarship, I made a promise to my mother that I’d finish school.” I accepted the beer he handed me. “Thanks, man.”
“Mothers….” A sudden grin crossed Deke’s grizzled face. “My mother was not someone to cross, but that’s a story for another time. Guess you don’t dare cross yours either.”
“Fuck no. Is he waiting?” I nodded toward the back room.
“Yep. Go right on in.”
Ussier glanced up from the video game he was playing as I entered the back, and his gaze took on a teasing glint. “Well, if it isn’t Pittsburgh’s own star running back.”
“You don’t look any different. Video games?” I bantered back. “This mean you’re done chasing Syndicate goons all over the world?” As I approached, he paused the game and rose, giving me a nod and clapping me on the arm. I think it was the first time he’d ever stood up when I came in.
“If there is anyone left who was once a part of that group, they’re keeping it a close, dark secret. Alette and Hugh are still hunting down rumors. They’re good at that and it should keep them out of trouble.”
“So it’s over with?” I sat down in the chair Ussier indicated. I found it a little hard to believe; it was just that weird. They’d harassed me on and off for over a year and though I had healed quickly from the injuries they’d given me, I was still human. Ever since Kristair broke the link, my back would ache after an especially hard day of playing, as a result of Montrose’s bullets shattering my spine. And on really cold, raw days I could feel the lingering pain in my shoulders too. I’d live with those scars the rest of my life.
And now that I wasn’t carrying around a vampire’s heart, the bruises lasted when I got knocked around. That had been a hard wakeup call. I’d wanted to be normal again, and now I was with all of its glory.
“Yeah, Jake, it’s over with. Let’s not get cocky though. Just concentrate on playing football and leave the supernatural stuff to me. See if you can stay out of trouble.”
I laughed and dragged a hand through my hair. “I am planning on a life where my only thrills are the games and the excitement of fame.”
“Do you mind if I ask you a question?”
I cocked my head. Ussier didn’t ask—he demanded answers—, and that alone was enough to trigger my curiosity. “Shoot.”
“You said you carried a part of the old man with you. There were times when I swear I could see his hand in what you were doing. Just how much is he a part of you now?”
There was a twinge in my chest where Kristair’s heart had been. I missed it. I hadn’t thought I would. Its constant beating at weird times, the not knowing, had driven me crazy, and now I missed it. I really was an ornery bitch.
“More then, than now.” I wasn’t like Kristair, keeping secrets just for the sake of keeping them. I’d learned my lesson. “For a week or so there, he was with me as much as it was possible to be.”
Ussier’s brow rose and then after a moment, he nodded. “I’m not surprised. If anybody could come back for one last hurrah it would be that stubborn bastard. Is he gone for good now?”
“Who the hell knows?” I shrugged and then grinned. “Somehow I doubt it. It’s just a matter of when.”
Sooner rather than later, please. It had already been a very long month. I’d gone home for Thanksgiving alone and told myself that he would be with me for Christmas. Now, I was packing up to see my Ma again and wouldn’t get the chance to introduce them if Kristair didn’t hurry up and pop up out of the blue in the next two weeks. Still, I held on to my faith. Kristair had promised he’d be home by April. All I could do was be patient.
“Did Kayla know?” I winced at his question, tugging on my earlobe, and Ussier laughed. “That answers the question.”
“She does now.” And what a loud mess that had been. “She’s not so pissed at me as she is at Kristair.” Even more so at Nerissa for stealing that moment from her. “She doesn’t like people making decisions for her, even if it’s to spare her feelings. Gets her back up more than anything else does.”
“She’s not the only woman to feel that way.” The vampire lord gave me a little salute and picked up his game controller. “Stay out of trouble. This time I mean it.”
I rose from my chair and shook Ussier’s hand again. “No offense, but you don’t mind if I’m happy I’ll never see you again. At least I hope I won’t.”
“You won’t see me, but I’ll see you.” He grinned his predator smile.
“Fucker.”
“HOW WAS Louisiana?” Steve asked, holding the door open for me as I kicked snow off my sneakers.
“Hell of a lot warmer than here,” I complained. Pittsburgh was balls cold in January, wind whipping up snowdrifts and stinging every bit of exposed skin until it felt raw and abused.
“Want a beer or something stronger?”
I tossed my coat on the hook then followed Steve into the kitchen. “Stronger would kick ass. I swear I’m never going to warm up again.”
“Pansy. You’d better hope you get drafted to Miami, bro. Your blood’s getting thin.” Steve took down two tumblers and poured whiskey into them. “Happy New Year,” he said, handing me one.
The whiskey burned all the way down, banishing some of the frozen numbness both from the cold and the emptiness in my soul. “Thanks, man.” I raised my glass to him then downed the rest. “It’s quiet. Your roommates around?”
“Nope, still on winter break. They’ll be trickling in over the week. Kayla’s taking a nap upstairs. You’d best stick around ’til she wakes up or you know what she’ll do to you when she sees you next.”
“Thanks for the heads up. Think she’ll feed me if I stay?”
“Don’t push your luck.” Steve grabbed the whiskey bottle and we went into the living room. The TV was on low, showing one of the playoff games. The Titans were up by six points. A good game was just what I needed to relax.
“So this thing with chica, it’s finally gotten serious? ’Bout damn time.” I liked the thought of Kayla and Steve together more and more. They balanced each other, both with strong personalities that didn’t drown the other out.
A quick grin flashed across Steve’s face and I realized that I’d never seen quite that expression on him. Oh boy, he had it bad. My smirk must’ve shown because he punched my arm. “Knock it off. Yeah, it’s serious.” He paused and took a sip of the whiskey, his eyes on the TV. “She spent Christmas with me and my brother.”
I almost choked on my drink, but managed to catch myself in time. For Steve, that was like close to a marriage proposal. He’d never taken a girl to meet his brother. Ever. “Damn, that explains why she didn’t run off with me then.”
I hadn’t liked the idea of her being by herself, but nothing I’d said had made her budge at all. She wouldn’t consider spending the holiday in Louisiana. Now I knew why. I chuckled. The thought of them together over the holidays made me feel so much better.
“What’s so funny?”
“Nothing. So, how did your brother and Kayla react to each other?” I almost wished I’d seen it.
“He thinks she’s a crazy white girl and she thinks he needs to lighten up and get a life.”
This time I burst out laughing and Steve joined in with me. “I think Kayla’s the only girl you could’ve brought home that wouldn’t be intimidated by him.”
“Yeah, he’s impressed. He won’t say it, but he is.”
I poured us some more whiskey. “That’s awesome, man. I’m really happy for you.”
“I should’ve known you’d returned.”
At the sound of Kayla’s voice, I peered over my shoulder and smiled. She leaned against the entrance of the living room, sleep rumpled, her arms crossed and a fake scowl aimed at me.
“Hey there, gorgeous. Don’t I get a kiss?”
“You’ve been drinking whiskey. My lips aren’t touching yours.” She came over and gave me a hug before Steve pulled her down onto his lap. I rolled my eyes as they kissed and
felt a quick, hard knock of emptiness. I wished Kristair were there, just so I could see his face. I’d rag on him big time.
“How come he gets one and I don’t?” I complained when they finally broke apart.
“My face isn’t as ugly as yours,” Steve retorted.
“Now I know you’re delusional. Your face scares small babies and grandmas.” I turned my smile on Kayla and her lips twitched. “I don’t suppose you could find it in your heart to feed me, at least.”
“That’s why he gets kissed and you don’t, hotshot. Do I look like Donna Reed?”
“You wouldn’t want me to waste away.”
Kayla snickered and pointed to a pile of junk mail circulators on the table. “You’re in no danger of wasting away. There’s pizza coupons in there. Have at it. Your mom spoils you too much.”
“Yeah, she does.” I sighed and pulled over the pile. “I wish ‘The O’ delivered.”
“Keep wishing,” Steve said. “There’s an Italian place around the corner that does and you can get pasta instead of pizza, or both.”
“Sounds perfect. I’m starved.”
We put in an order and sat back with beer this time instead of whiskey, watching the game and catching up. The only thing missing was Tony lounging on the floor and Kristair curled up next to me. Otherwise, it would have been a perfect afternoon.
“I had the weirdest dream a couple nights ago,” I said, without even thinking about it. “Both Tony and Kristair were there. In some big, oh, I don’t know how to describe it, like some Roman temple or something.” It wasn’t the first dream I’d had of Kristair. I’d had many of him waiting and pacing, and figured it was because I missed him. After all, we weren’t linked anymore, though sometimes I thought it might be because he carried a piece of my soul with him. I’d often wondered if maybe there was some sort of an echo effect and I really was seeing him. Then I’d convince myself it was just wishful thinking.
Kayla sat up straight, her dimples disappearing. “Was that bitch there too?”
Before I could comment on her odd remark, Steve spoke up. “A big place, kinda like almost how you’d picture judgment day in heaven or something? With rows of people, your boy in the center and Tony sitting up front?”
We exchanged glances, and then all of us began talking at once until Kayla whistled to silence us. “Wait a minute. One dream at a time. Jake, you describe yours first.”
I tried to gather my thoughts past the excitement bouncing in my stomach. My head spun and I now wished that I hadn’t had the damned whiskey. We’d all had the same dream. Sure, details were different, but the overall story was the same. How the hell was that possible? Kristair had never had a mental link with them. Well, maybe Kayla, but he didn’t have any of his powers, unless the Ascended had released them. But if they had, he’d be home.
The room became quiet once we were all done describing our dreams and then Steve got up to grab the food from the delivery man. I wasn’t hungry anymore. Kristair was on trial, or had been. At least that’s what it had seemed like. And he’d been upset at the end, pissed off, afraid. The details were sketchy like dreams tended to be. I couldn’t remember the words they’d spoken or if they’d been spoken at all.
“What does it all mean?” Steve asked. “Have either of you have any other dreams like this of Kristair? Why’s he in my head? I’m telling you now: I don’t want him in my head.”
“Not like this. I mean I’ve had dreams of him. Of course I have.” Some which I knew were products of my imagination because they were all X-rated. But even the dreams I’d had of him waiting and pacing weren’t like this. Those were more like quick flashes of consciousness gone as soon as they appeared.
“This is the only one I’ve had,” Kayla said. “You think Kris sent it to us?”
I thought it through before I answered and then shook my head with a sigh. “I’d like to, but I doubt it. It’s not his style. One, he was a little bit preoccupied in the dream and two, even if he had the ability to send us the dream, he wouldn’t if it was something bad.”
“And that whole situation seemed fucked up. Who was that lady at the end?” Kayla growled, her eyes flashing, and Steve held up his hands. “Forget I asked.”
“That was Nerissa. She’s the one who made Kristair a vampire.” She was also Kayla’s ancestor, but I thought it wiser to shut up about that. She was never gonna forgive Nerissa for interfering and costing her a chance to talk with Kristair. “I must admit, I don’t think Kristair sent the dream either. He does like to keep us in the dark until everything’s lined up just how he likes it.”
Steve gave my shoulder a hard squeeze, his other arm locked around Kayla’s waist. “I’m sorry. I know you both have been waiting.”
I shook my head and squared my jaw. “I’m not ready to give up yet. Come on; it has to mean something. If Kristair didn’t send the dream, then who did?” I refused to let worry sink into my gut. Not after all this time.
“Whiskey has addled your brains. Kristair wasn’t the only one we knew in the dreams.” Kayla paused, her head cocked expectantly, then let out an explosive breath. “Tony! For chrissakes, have you two forgotten about him already? You both saw Tony there. He might’ve been in my dream too, but I don’t remember much other than Kris and that bitch. I don’t know him as well.”
A little thrill of hope raced through me, but Steve was already shaking his head. “You don’t know for sure if he was really there. I know you guys think he became one of the Ascended, but he wasn’t an Ancient. I mean, I love the dude and all, but Tony with cosmic powers? That’s a little frightening. And even if he was one of them, didn’t you say it had taken months for Kristair to remember who he was?”
Excited now, I jumped up. “Yeah, but it’s been months, and Tony may have been a bit of a doofus, but he’s not stupid. And he’s our doofus. This is just the kind of thing he would do.”
“Why, just answer that, Jake. It doesn’t make sense. Why would Tony send the dream? What would it do other than to make you worry?” Steve argued.
“Fuck worrying,” I laughed. “Now I know Kristair’s going to be home before too long.”
Kayla and Steve exchanged a worried glance, but I refused to acknowledge it. Kristair was coming home. I jutted my jaw out.
“How do you know?” Kayla asked. “I mean, I want to believe as much as you do, but it didn’t look good for him at the end.” She paused and bit her lip and Steve pulled her closer.
“It means we’ve got a friend up there,” I said. “And those bastards are going to underestimate him just the way we did. You’ll see.”
Chapter 31
AS MUCH as I enjoyed all the wonders I’d discovered and my mind being occupied with the wealth of information the universe held, I still found the constant presence of all the other Ascended cloying and irritating. I’d always been a solitary soul and it was a rare occasion when I invited someone into my life. Though, on those occasions, the bond I’d formed had been very tight. I suppose eventually, I’d get used to it, but for now I needed some time to myself.
I slipped away from the other Ascended. We tended to do things as a group and there were some who never left the contemplation of the whole. But there were enough who did go exploring on their own that I wasn’t concerned my exit would be commented on by the whole.
As I wandered, I searched within myself for the reason why I was so restless. It wasn’t just because I preferred to be alone. I felt incomplete, as if a limb had been hacked off and the phantom pain from it lingered in my soul. To the other Ascended I think I appeared intact, only I knew that somehow I wasn’t.
I couldn’t reason out what was missing. No amount of introspection yielded the answer so I stopped twisting and turning the problem, and let it be. The answer would come in its own time.
I found myself watching a star, a red giant, wondering how many thousands or millions of years it would take to reach the critical point, for it to explode into a supernova. What would that be like, th
e slow deterioration, losing energy until suddenly it all burst back into life again for one final massive explosion, lighting up the galaxy? As one of the Ascended, could I make myself one with the star and experience the whole thing?
Before I could contemplate on how I’d accomplish such a feat, another distinct presence appeared beside me, somewhat familiar, though I couldn’t say why. He took form, something I had rarely seen once I’d become one of the Ascended.
He looked to be a young man, almost a kid, though appearances were deceiving. My own body, when I’d had one, looked to be only a few years older than his. However, I was thousands of years old. To my surprise, his mind was almost as young as his body. I’d never met an Ascended like him. He was an anomaly, the same as me.
His hair was in need of a cut and his eyes were gray-green, with a mix of humor and eternal wonder. As I took form, out of politeness as well as curiosity, I noticed how different he was. In truth, I preferred being like this, another difference that set me apart, but I figured it was because I was so new to it all.
I don’t know how often I’d be reminding myself that I’d adapt.
“Kristair,” he greeted with a slight grin. “You’re a hard man to track down. I was almost beginning to believe the rest of the Ascended were trying to keep us apart.” He took in the giant star, swollen red and huge against the sky. “It’s almost like an episode out of Star Trek,” he murmured. “Or The Twilight Zone, take your pick.”
“I don’t see why they would do that. We are all open to each other.” Or were we? Something niggled at my mind then disappeared. “And you are?”
“Tony Hodge, though the name won’t mean anything to you.”
It sparked something though and when I tried to grasp it, it eluded me once again. “It should, though,” I said.
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