“You have no fucking idea what you’re talking about.” I glared at my friend, seething, and he glared right back. “He didn’t know it was Kayla. I didn’t know it was Kayla. You can’t call him crazy without calling me nuts too. I took a shot at her.”
“You stopped him from killing her.”
“Only so I could give her to Ussier. You think she would’ve been any less fucking dead if that happened? Get real.” Steve just didn’t get it. I still had a bit of Kristair’s soul in me, and he had some of mine in his. Though I couldn’t read him as deeply as I used to, I knew he wasn’t insane. And he didn’t kill for sport or for the enjoyment of the hunt. Warrior, yes; sociopath, no.
“Don’t start griping at each other.” Tony hopped down and got between the both of us. “Jake, he doesn’t understand, and Steve, I’m impartial in this, and trust me, Kristair isn’t a wacko. If he’d known who was possessed, he wouldn’t have touched her.” Tony stared off, lost in thought and frowning.
“So you have any idea who could be behind it?” I asked, giving Tony a hopeful look. “Couldn’t you at least drop us a hint? You wouldn’t get into trouble for that, would you?”
“No, I can’t,” Tony said shortly, and my stomach dropped. “Because I don’t have a damned clue, and I don’t like that. I should be able to see something. Let me see what I can dig up.”
I grabbed his arm before he could pull a disappearing act. “Don’t get yourself into a lot of shit over it, okay?”
“I’ve learned how to be discreet.” Tony punched me lightly on the shoulder. “Let me see Kayla. There is one thing I can do before I go. I’ll make sure she can’t be possessed again, so at least you won’t have to worry about that anymore.”
“I’ll go get her.” Steve snatched open the door as I caught Tony in a one-armed hug.
“Thanks, man.”
“Not a problem. At least I can do something. Maybe Steve will calm down now and not try to bite Kristair’s head off when he arrives.”
“We can always hope.” Somehow, though, I doubted it. Those two just rubbed each other the wrong way, and Steve wasn’t going to ignore what had happened just because the situation had changed. I wished I could warn my lover before he arrived, but he’d flip if I broke his no-cell-phone policy.
Chapter 18
JACOB WAS waiting for me on the porch when I arrived, and the sight of him eased some of my exhaustion and anxiety. He smiled and came down off of the steps, meeting me as I parked. “Never thought I’d see you behind a wheel again,” he teased, tugging me into his arms.
“Necessity breeds all kinds of changes.” I returned his kiss, allowing myself a brief moment to relax in his arms before I pulled back. I tried to read his expression, confused by the change in him. The ugly bruise had mysteriously disappeared from his cheek, and his eyes were filled with a renewed sparkle. Not that I wasn’t grateful for a good omen. “How’s Kayla?”
“All better.” Jacob beamed, and once again, my eyes flicked to his unmarred cheek as a breath of hope filled me. But when I tried to move around Jacob to check on her myself, he blocked me from heading inside.
“What is going on?” My eyes narrowed in suspicion, and I frowned, too tired to play games. “I’d like to see Kayla.”
“Wait. Before you go in, I have two things to tell you first.” Jacob laid his hands on my shoulders and glanced behind him at the cabin. “Tony popped in first thing this morning and made it so Kayla couldn’t be possessed again.”
I stared at him, incredulous. “He did? But….” That was wonderful. I shook off Jacob’s grip and sidestepped him, determined to see with my own eyes. There were sure to be consequences from Tony’s actions, but I wasn’t going to argue about the gift. Tony knew what he was doing. “I take it he healed the both of you in the process.”
Was it selfish of me to be grateful that I wouldn’t have to see the wounds I’d caused again?
“How’d you know that? Wait, Kristair.” Jacob grabbed my arm, halting me again. “There’s something else I have to tell you.” From the urgency in his voice, I gathered it was important and that it wasn’t something I’d be pleased to hear. Before I could ask, though, the front door banged open and Steve strode out onto the porch.
I stared at him in shock, guilt hitting me all over again. “What is he doing here?” I snarled under my breath.
“He has a right to be here,” Jacob replied quietly. “Kayla’s in love with him, and as much as you might not want to admit it, he loves her too.”
“I have a few things to say to you,” Steve snapped, jabbing his finger toward me.
I nudged Jacob aside when he would’ve gotten in between us and met Steve’s livid gaze. “There’s nothing you could say that I haven’t already said to myself.”
I made no move to stop him as Steve grabbed the front of my shirt. “I hope you got a real damn good look at what you did to her, you bastard.”
“I’ll never forget it as long as I live.” It would haunt me, and from the way Jacob touched my shoulder, I knew he understood that.
“Steve, stop it, man, he didn’t mean it. How many times do I have to tell you he didn’t know?”
“What, it’s supposed to be okay because he didn’t mean to?” Steve snapped right back, still glaring at me, seething. “Since he’s shown up, you and her have been hurt again and again. We lost Tony. Fuck, all of us would’ve been better off if we’d never met him at all.”
“Stop it, just fucking stop it!” Steve turned his eyes off of me as Jacob spoke and grabbed his forearm.
“Stay out of it, Jake,” Steve snapped.
“No, this concerns me, too, in case ya forgot. Look, I know you’re pissed at Kristair, but this is fucking bullshit. You can’t speak for me and ya can’t speak for her either. Why don’t you ask Kayla what her life was like before she met him? You’re so damn thickheaded. You only see what you want to see. And the truth is you both are so fucking alike it’s not even funny.”
Steve looked at Jacob like he had lost his damned mind, and for once, I couldn’t say I disagreed with him. “Don’t be ridiculous,” I said, stiffly offended. “We have nothing in common.”
“Jake, he’s an over possessive control freak who doesn’t know when to let go and back the fuck off,” Steve said, turning his glare back on me.
I grabbed Steve’s wrists, forcing him to let go of my shirt, though I released him once he had. “And you are arrogant beyond words, always so damned sure you’re right,” I snapped right back.
Jacob’s lips twitched. “Yeah, like I said, just alike.” He held up his hands as we both turned toward him. “Hey, I’m just pointing out the obvious. Steve’s a chocolate-covered you, and you’re a caramelish Steve.”
Before I could reply to that ridiculous statement, the front door banged open again, interrupting Steve’s scoffing reply. My heart leapt as Kayla bounded down the steps and hurtled toward me. I caught her and held her close as she threw her arms around me. “Kayla, little one….” My throat tightened. “I’m so sorry.”
She shook her head hard, and I felt a tremble go through her. “Me too.”
“You don’t have anything to apologize for.”
“Yeah, well, neither do you, Father, but as long as you continue this self-flagellation, so am I.” My daughter pulled back and framed my face in her hands. “You look like shit, Kris. When did you get scruffy?”
I drank in the sight of her, checking her over for any sign of a bruise or other injury. Kayla’s eyes were older, less innocent, and I mourned the loss, but she would be okay. Something inside me eased with that realization. My daughter had a core of resiliency in her that I often overlooked. I smiled and touched her cheek. “I was a little busy yesterday to bother with shaving.”
“I think it’s rather sexy,” Jacob said, giving me a wink.
“You would.” I tucked a tress of her hair back, embarrassed by the audience. “I’ve missed you.” I glanced at Steve’s impassive face and sighed. The upstart r
eally did care for her, I couldn’t deny that, as much as it rankled me to admit it.
“Me too.” Kayla dropped her hands and laced her fingers with Steve’s. “How did Uncle Ghedi take your explanation?”
“Reasonably, but he insists on being involved.” I frowned, glancing at Jacob, steeling myself for the explosion. “He and Lisabeth are meeting us here tonight.”
“What? Are you nuts? I thought the whole reason I had to leave Pittsburgh was because you wanted us to hide out from him.”
“Mostly, I wanted you away from Alette and anyone else likely to try to take matters into their own hands, and I wasn’t entirely sure about Ussier before I talked with him. You’re going to have to trust me, mo chroí. I wouldn’t have said anything to him if I thought for once second he would’ve come after you or Kayla.” I was too worn down for an argument, and the day wasn’t over with yet. They would be here before we knew it, and we had to be ready.
Jacob must’ve sensed it, because after a moment he nodded and gave me a gentle push toward the cabin. “I’m stealing you for the rest of the day. I’ll make us something quick to eat while you shower, and then we’re all sleeping. I doubt we’ll get any tonight.”
I raised my brow at his decisiveness but didn’t argue. The thought of being clean and having food in my stomach was too seductive. Besides, the night was going to be long, and I needed to prepare him for what was going to happen. So I grabbed my pack and trudged up the steps, leaving the three of them murmuring to each other.
The room Jacob had chosen for us was simple, with a large bed and wide windows that looked out over the mountainside. It smelled of Jacob and pine and clean, crisp air. It was soothing.
I eyed the bed, tempted to just lie down for a few moments, but I shook off the temptation. Despite Jacob’s insistence on sleep, we didn’t have much time for resting. A shower and lunch would have to suffice. I shucked off my clothes and stepped into the small adjoining bathroom. By the time I’d emerged, I was revived somewhat, and Jacob was waiting on the bed with a plate of sandwiches and a cup of herbal tea.
“Thank you,” I said, adjusting the towel around my hips and taking the plate and mug as he wordlessly handed them to me. I sat down next to him and related my conversation with Ussier to him as I ate, but his attention seemed to be somewhere else.
“What is wrong, Jacob?” I asked when I had finished with only a comment or two from him.
“Nothing, I’m okay. If reading me will help them find the doppelganger I’m cool with that. I’d rather hunt him than be hunted.” Jacob took the empty mug and plate from me and set it on the dresser as all the energy seemed to drain out of me.
“I’m going to let Lisabeth read me as well.” I was reluctant to do so. The thought of anyone invading my privacy in that manner was unsettling, but I couldn’t ask Jacob to do something I was unwilling to do myself. Ussier could’ve insisted that I submit to it too; that he hadn’t had been another factor in my decision to trust him. To me, it showed that the respect I’d earned from him was still there. Neither he nor Lisabeth would presume to ask an Ancient to open their mind to them.
“You don’t have to do that.”
“They’ll limit it to our encounter with Kayla and the doppelganger at Alette’s. They won’t see anything they’re not supposed to see. Besides, as you said, if it helps us capture them, it’ll be worth the small loss of our privacy.”
I took a deep breath and forced myself to rise to get dressed again. Jacob caught my wrist and tugged me back down again. I looked at him in surprise. “What is it?”
“Have you taken care of these at all?” Jacob asked, picking up my hand and turning my palm over. There were a few blisters from where the knife had seared my palm, but they were small and not as bad as I first thought. Jacob’s eyes drifted to the ten deeper burns on my chest and bruises from where she’d bitten me in return.
“Kayla would be appalled if she could see you now, and Steve would shut his fucking trap,” Jacob said, his eyes darkening as he lightly touched my chest. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“One thing happened after another. I’m fine, Jacob, they barely hurt.”
“Liar. You stay right here. I’m grabbing the first aid kit and you’re going to let me tend to you.” Jacob rose and stalked out of the room. I didn’t try to stop him. He wouldn’t let me go until he was satisfied.
He returned a few minutes later with a box, a new mug of tea, and two little pills. “What are these?” I asked, poking them as Jacob set the box down and began going through it, pulling out ointment and gauze.
“Just take them. It’ll take the edge off the pain so you can sleep.”
I didn’t bother telling Jacob that I wouldn’t be sleeping, but there didn’t seem any harm in the pills themselves, so I swallowed them down with a sip of the tea and watched curiously as Jacob tended to me. “Where did you learn this skill?”
“I was a very active boy, always getting banged up in one way or another.”
Jacob studied my hand and put a little ointment on the blisters. “These aren’t too bad.” Then he tended to each of the smaller burns in the same manner, and I found his care a much better balm to me than his ointment. It struck me that until Jacob had come along, no one had tended to me in a very long time.
“Thank you,” I murmured when he was done, and I sat up to brush my lips over his. In the short time that I had laid back, the deep weariness that I’d been holding off started to creep in again. It was time to get moving before I succumbed.
“You’re not getting back up again until I say you’re getting back up.” Jacob slid his hand around the nape of my neck and tugged me down for another kiss. “I didn’t sleep very well last night and you didn’t sleep at all. Be reasonable, love. You won’t be any good tonight if you don’t get some rest.”
I let myself get pulled down next to him with a soft sigh. “Jacob, I may be tired, but I’m never going to be able to sleep. My mind is going too fast.”
“Then allow me to distract you.”
“Now?” I glanced at the door. It was the middle of the day. Kayla and Steve were about, maybe even in the next room. “Be serious. What if they hear?”
Jacob chuckled, a low, wicked sound. “What if they do? What if we hear them? Who cares?” He nibbled my lower lip and rubbed his chin along the stubble on my cheek. “You are fucking sexy with the scruff, babe. I vote you keep it.”
He kissed me again, and my lips parted as I sank into the embrace. I couldn’t resist him on a good day, and at this moment, I had no defense against him at all. It had been chaotic and confusing and frightening since I became human, and it had only escalated after we started investigating the murders. The last twenty-four hours had been hell, yet in Jacob’s arms I felt safe.
“Were you trying to reach me?” I whispered, holding him close to me. “I swear after you left there were times when I thought I sensed you.” It had been like a ghost of a touch, but each time it came, it reassured me he was still safe.
Jacob nodded, rubbing his lips against mine. “Yeah, we’re going to get that connection back; you just have to stop fighting me and let me in.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“For once, it is.” Jacob’s hand tugged away the towel around my waist, leaving me completely bare to him. “I have it on very good authority that the Ascended don’t give a rat’s ass about what we do as long as we don’t go around trying to change the nature of things or give away all their secrets.”
“Oh, you do, do you?” His hand slid over my side and splayed on my stomach, and I closed my eyes, savoring the simple touch. I wanted to believe him, I really did, but I just didn’t know if what he wanted was possible.
“Yeah.” Jacob’s teeth lightly scored my throat, and anticipation made my breath catch. “Let me in, love.” He slid his arms around me, pulling me closer. “You’re worn out, afraid and still hurting over what happened. I know. Let me in.”
My eyelids were so heavy. I had
never felt this kind of bone-deep exhaustion before, the kind that came from both lack of sleep and emotional turmoil. I wanted to surrender, but deep inside, I was still struggling. I slid my hands under Jacob’s shirt and up over the contours of his back. He was warm and solid, and I clung to that.
Jacob pulled back long enough to let me tug off his shirt, and I heard twin thuds as he kicked off his shoes onto the floor. Then his warmth was over me again, his hands soothing as we kissed, tongues stroking, pain receding in the haven of his arms. I could still almost hear him whispering to let him in.
I shivered, a small, desperate sound locking in my throat. No one could batter down my defenses as Jacob did. He made it impossible to put up any kind of a fight. Not when all I wanted to do was give in. It seemed to me that we’d done this before. I knew I was safe with him… was he right? Was it me who’d kept us from being able to sense each other?
“Where do you get your faith, mo chroí?”
“From having you.”
I opened my eyes to the sunlight pouring into the cabin and Jacob’s tender smile. I smiled back and rubbed my thumb over his jaw, ran my fingers through his tumbled hair. His eyes were brilliant, such an amazing blue, and they saw right through me. “I love you.”
Another smile flickered over his lips, and Jacob leaned down, touching his forehead to mine. I half-closed my eyes again and breathed in his scent, his nearness. “I know you do.” He pressed a kiss to the corner of my mouth, and then another. “Let me in.”
His mouth slid lower, tongue stroking my nipple into a tight, aching bud before he caught it lightly between his teeth. I stifled a groan and tugged on Jacob’s nipple ring in turn. “I don’t know how,” I said, feeling a stab of frustration at that admission.
Jacob turned me over onto my stomach, and then I groaned again as I felt the hot trail of his tongue sliding up my spine. Desire clenched in my stomach, and I turned my head as I felt the bed shift so I could watch my lover get undressed.
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