I shifted uneasily in my seat. Tony had told Jacob that a split was forming among the Ascended and that I had been the unwitting cause of it. Now that right there was most likely the cause for Nerissa’s ire. If my actions had threatened her world…. But surely matters weren’t that bad. The Ascended were linked. They wouldn’t foster dissention among themselves.
That would be a terrifying thought indeed, with their power. Their stability came from their harmony and their agreement to the rules. I couldn’t begin to imagine the harm that could be caused if they were at odds with each other. If that was the case, then we had a far bigger problem on our hands than a handful of vampires being slaughtered and our own personal problems.
Chapter 25
I DID not like where Kristair’s brooding thoughts were taking him. They made me antsy and on edge, and not because it meant we were in a whole shitload of trouble. He was working himself up to something. By the time we returned to the cabin, he was completely lost in thought, and I was pretty sure he’d forgotten that I could hear every damn thing that went on in his head.
“So are we supposed to twiddle our thumbs until Ussier gets back?” Steve asked. “I want to know who this Nerissa is, ’cause you’re all acting like she’s the damn boogeyman or something. How come I’ve never heard of her before?”
“Soon, Mr. Teasia. It shouldn’t take him long to dispose of the bodies and erase any evidence of our presence there. He’s quick and thorough,” Artemise replied. “There is no sense in having Kristair explain the situation we’re in twice.”
I remained quiet, my gaze intent on Kristair, who had drifted over to the window and was staring out into the night. I recognized the remoteness inside of him. I’d seen it a couple times before, and it never failed to make me uneasy, because I couldn’t predict what Kristair would do next. Only that I probably wouldn’t like it.
“How come the more pissed off I get, the calmer you get?” I growled in his mind.
I sensed his faint smile before he glanced over his shoulder at me. “Call me perverse.”
“I do,” I retorted out loud and went into the kitchen to grab something to drink. I’d really have killed for a beer right then, or something stronger.
Kristair had to be wrong. Tony would’ve said something if the situation had gotten to be that dire among the Ascended. I felt like I had an itch under my skin, crawling and tormenting me every time I thought about it. Dammit, where was he? Tony could have cleared up the whole thing in a heartbeat if the punk ass would just show his face.
We’d all separated to our own little corners of the room. Artemise sat on the couch in apparent meditation, his face smooth and calm. Steve scowled at the table, and Kayla stood with her arms crossed at another window. And me, I paced, resisting the urge to kick unoffending furniture out of the way.
I concentrated on what was going through Kristair’s mind and pushed away my thoughts. Every time I let my thoughts drift, they returned to the doppelganger. The blood, there had been so much damn blood. I knew I’d smell the stink of it for a long time to come, feel its slick heat on my hands. And his eyes, god help me, those twisted, needy eyes.
I’d expected a fight from the creature when I’d untied it from the chair, but it hadn’t. The creature had known, and it hadn’t tried to stop me. It was like it was just grateful that I had killed him instead of Ussier or Kristair. It had died with my name on his lips.
Jerking my thoughts away, I realized I’d stopped pacing and was staring off. Scowling, I started again. The doppelganger didn’t deserve any more of my thoughts, and it had died far cleaner than that family had.
Kristair turned and walked toward me, stopping me with his hands on my shoulders. He didn’t say anything. I got the impression he didn’t really know what to say. He’d never been the best at discussing what he was feeling.
“Yes?” I asked, striving to make my voice as mild as possible when what I longed to do was drag him back to our bedroom. I wanted to tie him to the bed, make him beg, make him scream with desire, make him forget anything else but the two of us and how it felt when we were fucking.
One expressive black brow rose, and a faint smile tugged on Kristair’s lips as a surge of affection and exasperation came at me through our bond. “What is it with you and sex and getting so very possessive at moments like these?”
“You’re pulling away from me.” I seethed. “You’d better not be thinking of doing anything stupid like sacrificing yourself to the Ascended gods or something like that, because I will turn you over my goddamned knee and spank you until you can’t sit down anymore.”
Kristair blinked, such a startled expression crossing his face that it would’ve been damned adorable if the situation had been different. “I think you mean it,” he murmured.
“You can bet your pretty ass I mean it,” I growled out loud.
Kayla glanced our way, and Kristair’s cheeks colored faintly. I didn’t think I’d ever seen him blush before either, and it made me determined to get other blushes from him. “Stop that,” he demanded. “Now is not the time or place for such things.”
I leaned closer and had the satisfaction of hearing his breath catch. “Don’t tempt me. I can think of any number of things I can do with you before Ussier arrives that won’t interfere one damn bit with our waiting. And I don’t care if the entire room knows what we’re up to either.”
Kristair’s hands tightened on my shoulders. “I swear to you we will always be together. Do you trust me, Jacob?”
“You know I do. Don’t try to distract me with questions we both know the answer to. Because I also know you’re not going to let everyone you know be slaughtered if you can find a way to stop it. Even if it gets you hurt in the process.”
He smiled, and phantom fingers touched my cheek as he brushed my lips with a mental kiss. “I’m not pulling away from you. I need to think, and I need to do that with logic, not emotion. Do you understand?”
The door opened and Ussier walked in. “I guess I don’t have too much of choice,” I said.
“Have you checked on Lisabeth?” Artemise asked, rising up from the couch.
“There hasn’t been any change.” Ussier’s face was grim. “Did you get back without any incident?”
“We didn’t run into any trouble, though I will admit I’m becoming very uneasy about the whole affair,” Artemise replied.
“You’re not the only one.” Steve stood up from the table and went to stand next to Kayla, glaring at Kristair. “Now that we’re all here, how about some answers?”
“Of course,” Kristair said. “But I would like to point out, Steve, you know more than Ussier and Artemise, here. If you put your intellect to the matter, I’m sure you will figure it out.”
I raised my hand before Steve could retort. “Let’s not start bickering now, Jesus.” I cast my lover a glance. “Behave.”
He grimaced and then shrugged. “I’ll make this quick. As I said before, Nerissa was the woman who turned me into a vampire. She was also the one instrumental in keeping Jacob and I apart when I was missing for all those months.”
Ussier’s expression hardened. “Old man, we need to know what we’re dealing with. I think it’s time you tell us what happened when you disappeared.”
“That is my intention.” Kristair clasped his hands behind his back. “Does that meet with your approval?”
“If the Ascended really are behind all this bullshit, then they can’t start crying foul over people finding out about them. They’re the ones interfering in our lives, not the other way around.”
“That was my thought as well.” He looked at Ussier and Artemise sternly. “This cannot become general knowledge. For the moment, we have just Nerissa to be concerned about as far as I know. We don’t want others like her getting involved, and I have no doubt they will if they think their secrets are threatened.”
“I’m not looking to stir up more trouble, Ancient One,” Ussier said, and Artemise nodded gravely.
&nb
sp; “You have my word.”
I watched Kristair intently, trying to get some hint of what he was planning. I knew he was. Fuck, I knew him too well not to know he was up to something, but I couldn’t get one hint of it from his mind. Right now, he was concentrating too much on figuring out how much he could say to let them know what they were dealing with without giving them the knowledge he felt they shouldn’t have.
“You guys aren’t stupid,” I cut in as Kristair glanced at me in surprise. “You know by now that ancient vampires don’t die when they disappear. They change. Kristair once described it as a chrysalis or a kind of evolution.”
“Thank you, Jacob.” I flashed Kristair a tight grin as he gave me an admonishing look. “The Ancients who have evolved call themselves the Ascended. They don’t have need of bodies anymore. They can move through time and space. They are extremely powerful, but for the most part benign. What one feels, they all feel, and that tends to keep them pacific. Strong emotion upsets their balance. They are more interested in study and contemplation than becoming involved in affairs.”
“That has obviously changed,” Ussier said.
“Very true, and that breaks one of their strictest tenets.”
“I don’t get it, though,” I said. “They have a kind of group mind. I’ve touched on it with you, Kristair. I thought you said what one person knows, they all do. How could Nerissa be doing this without them finding out about it and stomping her down? Because if she’s doing it with their blessing, I think we’re fucked.”
“We have proof they don’t know everything, even if they’d like for us to think they do. I managed to trick them, remember? And Tony as well, when he helped me. If we could do it in our immaturity, Nerissa, with her vast experience, shouldn’t have had a problem either. You don’t always have to be a part of the whole; you are allowed to leave to study on your own if you wish, after all, the others are only a thought away.”
“I’m not sure I entirely understand,” Ussier said. “But I’ll take your word for it. Is this what Artemise has to look forward to in a few centuries? Sounds like something he would love.”
“Indeed,” Artemise replied. “Though I’m certain Kristair is leaving a few details out.”
“I am, but what I’m leaving out doesn’t affect this situation. Besides, you should have the fun of figuring it out for yourself the way the rest of us did. You always did enjoy a good puzzle, Artemise.”
“Okay, so Nerissa’s got a hard-on for you,” Ussier said. “Why? Why now? Some younglings and their creators never get along, but if she wanted you dead, you never would’ve made it as long as you have, so what’s changed?”
“Jacob and I have differing theories on that.”
“I’m just saying that I don’t think it’s that much of a stretch she’d turn fucking nutty on you,” I said. “She likes things her way or no way. That creature practically called her by name and you still want to dismiss the idea that she could be the bad guy.”
“No, I merely disagree with the reasons why she’d act in this way. I think it takes more than me saying ‘no’ to her for her to lose her mind. Because this has gone beyond just revenge. She’s trying to play god. Creating the doppelganger was an act of madness. Something else has pushed her over the edge. I’m sure my defiance might’ve added to the stress, but it’s not the only reason. One does not become an Ascended by having a fragile mind.”
“I’m not frightened over the thought of trying to take on a higher being. Everybody has weaknesses, and I’m very good at exploiting them.” Ussier grinned, his dimples flashing. “So, then, what’s your theory for why she lost it? You seem damn reluctant to discuss it.”
I glanced at Kristair sharply. Ussier was right, my lover was afraid. “What else could possibly be wrong? I think we’ve pretty much already hit the worst-case scenario.”
“If my leaving caused a split amongst the Ascended, as Tony indicated, then we have a very big problem. We do not want them, with all their power, fighting amongst themselves. We do not want them emotional and taking it out on each other. I have no doubt the repercussions would be felt all over the world.” Kristair paused, letting that all sink in to everyone around him. “If Nerissa believes that my actions threatened her world, then yes, I have no doubt at all she would try to retaliate against me.”
“I knew I hated that bitch,” Kayla said. “So if she wants you dead, why not just kill you? It would be easy for her.”
My eyes widened as the pieces started to click together. “She doesn’t want you dead, Kristair. She wants you to come back, doesn’t she? She thinks that if you come back, then the reasons for the Ascended being all pissy with each other will be gone.”
“That makes more sense to me than mere revenge. But she’s broken her rules in the process, and I believe her own actions have added to her madness.”
“But you’re human now,” Kayla said, looking bewildered. “How can you go back, even if you wanted to?”
“That’s why you’ve been so afraid and resistant of trying to get our connection back, isn’t it?” I asked Kristair. “Because you knew it was possible. Like you always said, you can’t go back to the way things were. Isn’t that right?”
Kristair didn’t look at me, but I sensed the loving thought he sent me, felt the fear that had been plaguing him. Not just the worry over adjusting, but the worry that he would fail at being human, would use his abilities and have no choice but to go back.
“I am human because I chose to limit myself. But I still am an Ascended. I didn’t make myself ignorant of everything that I’d learned. I couldn’t bring myself to do that.”
Kristair still wouldn’t look at me, and then I realized he was afraid that I wouldn’t understand, that I would think he was selfish, but I did understand. Kristair could have given up every supernatural ability he had without blinking an eye, but he couldn’t give up knowledge he’d fought so hard to obtain any more than he could deliberately have hurt me. He just couldn’t. And he blamed himself for not doing it and having the threat of failing hanging over his head.
“I don’t blame you, love,” I said softly. “Why don’t you give yourself a bit of a break?. After all, if you didn’t remember any of this, then we’d really be in some deeper shit now.”
“So you still have the potential to go back among them. To be one with them,” Artemise said.
“No,” I cut in. Dammit, I knew it, I knew Kristair was up to something, and it had all been leading up to this. “No,” I repeated more firmly in his mind. “He’s not.”
A tense silence filled the room as everyone else looked between Kristair and me. “Jacob, we can’t wait for Tony to decide to come back and give us some answers. I’m not talking about joining them again, merely trying to communicate with them. If I could contact the Ascended, I might be able to get some answers.”
“Or you might get stuck there forever,” I snapped, frightened because that idea had occurred to Kristair too.
“Do you have a better idea? If so, I’m more than willing to listen.”
“I’m not even going to argue with you about it.” Furious, I swept everyone in the room a cold glance and walked out. They were going to encourage him with this stupid plan, and I didn’t have the stomach to listen to it. “You’re not doing it,” I flung back at him.
“Jacob,” Kayla called from the porch as I reached my car. “Where are you going?”
“For a ride.”
“We’re going with you.” She bounded down the porch toward me, Steve right behind her.
“I’m not in the mood.”
“Don’t be an idiot. You can’t go running off alone, and you need some time to think. I get it. I’ll keep my mouth shut.” She jerked open the passenger door as I started the engine. I scowled, and then Steve slid in the backseat and I was outnumbered.
“Don’t argue, Jake, please,” Steve said. “ You need us.”
My scowl deepened, but I resisted the urge to kick them back out. I could probab
ly have counted on one hand the number of times Steve had said “please” to me.
I could sense Kristair in my mind, watching and silent. He didn’t try to stop me, though, as I peeled out. I wasn’t sure if I wanted him to or not. There was just too much going on inside of me. I needed to clear my head or I was going to lose it.
It didn’t help that I still felt tainted by what had happened earlier. The image of that creature before he died was stuck in my head, but it didn’t bother me nearly as much as the picture of that family or the sight of their dead bodies in the tub, piled up like discarded, broken toys.
I wanted it to end. Goddamn, I was so tired of all of this bullshit. We just wanted to be left in peace, was that too fucking much to ask for?
Kayla reached over and took my hand, and my jaw clenched, but she kept her promise and didn’t say a word.
“So how fast can this baby go?” Steve asked, leaning forward.
I latched onto the change in conversation with relief. “A quarter mile in ten point four seconds, if I let her rip.”
“Oh, sweet. How long did it take you to put her together? The last time I saw her, she was still in parts all over your garage.”
“A couple of months. I wanted to take my time,” I replied, and the pleasure of the memory pushed away all the bad shit. Kristair had been beside me the entire time, not understanding a damn thing about 355 cubic inch engines or a small block with Dart 215 cubic centimeter platinum series heads, but he’d listened to me ramble on about specs as if I had been giving a damned state address, his expression serious and his attitude attentive.
Damn, I loved him.
“I would’ve had to have kicked your ass if you’d gotten an automatic instead of a manual,” Steve said as I smoothly shifted. “Damn, she’s a beauty.”
“You know, if you two talked to women they way you did about this car and with the same tone, you’d wind up in a lot less trouble,” Kayla broke in.
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