It was unreal, and I wished I’d thought to buy a video camera when we were out shopping earlier.
Maybe we could come up with a new name for her, something that would distance us from who she’d been. For all intents and purposes, she was our daughter now. I smiled and took another sip of my beer as Kristair sleepily rubbed her back. He was crazy to think he’d be a bad father.
I went over and scooped the baby out of his arms, sending him a soothing thought as he stirred, half waking up. “It’s okay, love, finish your nap. Sunset will be here soon and you’ve got to explain to Ussier that he missed all the fun.”
Kristair needed his sleep. The first thing we had had to do after getting back was go shopping for everything we didn’t have. He had worn himself out worrying about what we might have forgotten. “Rissa… what do you think about that? You like that name?” Rissa didn’t respond. Her head had pillowed on my shoulder, and her thumb had crept its way back into her mouth. Tiny lashes shadowed her cheeks.
“What are we going to do with you?” I murmured, going out onto the porch and settling down with a sigh. I still had no idea how I was going to explain this situation to my Ma. It would be just another in a long line of interesting conversations I’d had with her since I’d met Kristair. But I couldn’t see myself giving the baby up now either. My emotions surrounding the whole weird series of events were too complex to decipher.
“Rissa. Yeah, I think I like that.” I tucked her into the crook of my arm and began to rock. She had Kayla’s hair, the honey brown more golden now, and it curled in a springy fuzz on top of her head. She would have no memory of what she had been, what she had done. She had a clean slate.
The sound of the screen door and sense of Kristair’s presence had me looking over at him. “What are you doing up? You need to sleep.”
“I’ll sleep enough tonight. The part of my life where I slept my days away is over with.” Kristair sat down on the swing next to me and slipped an arm about my shoulders. “Are you sure you’re okay with this? It’s a lot to ask of you, mo chroí.” His fingers brushed my shoulder. “I just want you to be happy.”
“I know that.” I turned my head and brushed a kiss across his lips. “It’ll take awhile to adjust, but I think in the long run we’ll all be okay. I think the question is, what is Ussier going to say? Have you figured out how you’re going to explain this whole thing to him?”
Kristair had left a message with the bloodsucker explaining that the situation had been resolved and to come alone to our house when he had the chance. I expected him the moment the sun disappeared. “I’m going to tell him the truth. We owe it to him, and he knows enough now that he might even be able to swallow it all.”
“I’ve changed her name.”
Kristair arched a brow and nodded. “That’s probably a good idea. My people believed that there was a great deal of power in one’s name.”
“Is that why you always call me Jacob instead of Jake?”
“It is the name your mother and father gave you. It’s a good, strong name.” Kristair peered down at the baby and touched a finger to her cheek. “So what have you decided?”
“Rissa.”
I sensed Kristair’s pleasure as he curled closer in my mind. “Good choice.”
We sat out there, enjoying the quiet, until Kristair rose to go inside and make dinner. I could get used to nights like these, sitting with my soon-to-be husband and daughter. Now Kristair couldn’t give me any more ridiculous arguments about not being father material. Life was pretty fucking excellent.
Rissa seemed very content as we went about our evening. She sat in her high chair, kicking her legs and laughing every time one of us would look at her as we finished setting up her room with the bare necessities after dinner. The fear and anxiety I would have expected in her were not present.
“You know, I get why she reacts that way to you,” I finally said to Kristair. “She’s known you forever, so you’d at least be familiar. But she doesn’t know me at all. You think the Ascended tampered with her emotions?”
“No, they had no need to. When they made her an infant, they erased her memories. She has the brain of an infant too.”
“So what gives?” I glanced over at Rissa, and sure enough, she beamed and kicked, sending her seat to bouncing. I grinned as she waved her little hands and laughed. When I turned back to help Kristair piece the crib together, he was giving me an indulgent smile.
“There are two reasons why she reacts the way she does to you. One, every time you look at her, you smile, wave, and talk to her, so she’s responding in kind.” I never really thought of it that way. Then Kristair touched my mind, only it seemed a bit different this time until I realized I could sense Rissa too.
There weren’t any real thoughts yet, more flitting images and sensations. I sensed contentment, recognition, and joy when she sensed my mental touch. She squealed, legs kicking faster, and beamed at me. And I realized there was love there too. She already loved the both of us, and it hit me hard.
She really was ours to raise.
“Rissa also senses how I feel about you. Between that and your smiles and the way you’re not afraid to hold her and the way you interact with her, how could she not feel safe and loved here? I think all three of us are going to be just fine.”
“Wow, I think it’s going to take some time to adjust my thinking.”
We worked for a bit longer in silence except for the sound of Rissa talking to herself. “I guess she really doesn’t remember anything. We don’t have to worry about waking up one day and having her trying to get back at us.”
I realized I could read her as easily as I did Kristair. We’d know the instant anything changed with her, as we did with each other.
“No, she never will remember. It’s probably kinder that way. The Ascended will never accept her again, just as they’ll never accept me.” Kristair smiled at me and brushed a mental kiss over my lips. “And I have no problems with that.”
“Hey, wait a minute. Does that mean she’s going to know everything we say to each other?” I lowered my voice and leaned in closer to him. “’Cause ya know how I like to get down and dirty with you in my head.”
Kristair started laughing, and I gave him an offended look, which only made him laugh harder. “I’m serious.” I swatted his ass and whispered low. “I don’t want to corrupt her or freak her out, and I sure as hell don’t want to start behaving myself.”
Kristair laid a mental kiss on my lips that left me tingling and eager to drag him off to our bedroom. He smiled at me as I stood there dazed; then he picked up the next tool he needed. “Does that answer your question? We can block her from the more lurid side of your nature until she’s old enough to try to peek past it. By then she won’t want to know what a freak you are.”
A teasing smile played about his lips, though his eyes were oh-so-innocent as he glanced at me. He was really begging for it. “Guess this means no more spankings on the living room coach.”
“Don’t bet on it, Kristair. I’m very good at taking advantage of opportune moments and creating them if need be.”
A knock on the front door interrupted the discussion just as it was getting interesting. I glanced at the window and saw that the sky was dark. “I guess it’s that time.” I went over to Rissa, holding out my finger, and when she grasped it, a sudden wave of protectiveness went over me. “He’s not going to try and hurt her, is he? Maybe I should wait in here with her while you talk with him.”
“Ussier won’t lay a finger on her,” Kristair said. “He has to know what happened, and if he thinks we’re hiding anything, he’ll make it a point to find out on his own. I’d rather tell him and let him know at the same time that we consider her off limits.”
Kristair eased Rissa out of her seat, still holding her as if she were fragile china. I knew how afraid he was of accidentally hurting her, and at the same time, I could sense how he masked that feeling from her. Good. He’d give her a complex and have
her bursting into tears every time he picked her up if he didn’t.
“Breathe, Kristair. Christ, you need to learn to chill the fuck out.”
“And you need to learn to start watching your language.”
I grimaced, realizing he had a point. My Ma would kill me if Rissa’s first words were cuss words. I followed Kristair to the door, trying to anticipate what Ussier would say when he found out the entire story, but nothing prepared me for the vamp’s reaction when he saw the baby in Kristair’s arms.
Ussier stared at Rissa, his eyes widening as his hand came up to his forehead. “What is that? What is it?” he asked, pure exasperation in his voice. “I know it’s not human. What is it, and can it destroy the city?”
Kristair’s lips twitched, and he opened the door wider. “I’m afraid it’s going to take some time to tell you the whole tale, but I assure you, your city is now safe. At least from anybody seeking to hurt me.”
“I suppose that’s all I can ask for, isn’t it?”
I’d never seen Ussier like this, so off balance, and lord, it brought out the devil in me. “Feeling faint there, Ussier? Would you like me to fetch you a walker?” I was probably begging to have Ussier pull my ass out through my throat, but it was so rare that I got to fuck with the king bloodsucker of Pittsburgh.
“No, Mr. Corvin, I’m doing just fine, thank you. But I’m sure that if I were not dead already you two would help usher me to my demise.”
“Be nice, Jacob.”
“Oh fine, just ruin all my fun.”
Kristair led Ussier to the living room and sat down in his favorite chair, holding Rissa gingerly. “This might take a bit of time to tell, and I’m afraid that what I have to say is only between us. Artemise and Lisabeth included, of course, since they know a bit. Is Lisabeth awake? Safe?”
“Yes, cranky but awake, and Tabitha will survive as well.” Ussier sat down, still staring at Kristair and the baby as if he didn’t quite know what to make of the situation. I couldn’t say I blamed him. “You might want to give Lisabeth a wide berth for a little bit. She rarely holds grudges, but she doesn’t forget things either. She has a very long memory and doesn’t like to appear weak.”
“Not that I planned on dropping in for tea, but I understand. She’s not the only one who doesn’t like to appear weak.” I winked at Kristair and then grinned at Rissa as she kicked and waved, chirping a greeting at Ussier. At least, I hoped it was a greeting.
“Duly noted.” Absently, Kristair gave Rissa his pinky, and she latched onto it, curling into him and sticking her thumb in her mouth as she eyed the vampire. Ussier listened as Kristair went through the whole story, from when he’d left us, to Nerissa possessing Kayla again, Tony’s trap, the trial, and Nerissa’s escape back in time. There was no expression on his face as Kristair explained how we’d talked Nerissa into returning and then told him of the Ascended’s verdict and judgment and how we’d been tasked with raising her. “Tony has promised to look in on us when he can, but otherwise, we’re on our own.”
For a long time, Ussier remained silent, and I was beginning to wonder if I needed to get between him and Kristair and Rissa. Finally, Ussier shook his head, his expression still impassive. “All this time and we’ve been afraid of a baby? The whole city on red alert, people scared and jumping out of windows. In my final report it’s going to say it was us against a dozen dragons, a six-headed demon, and three hundred ninjas. I had enough trouble explaining a doppelganger to Deke; he was sure the damn thing had to be bigger after all the trouble it caused.”
I blinked, not quite sure how to take Ussier’s exasperation. He didn’t seem like he was ready to pounce, but then Kristair grinned. “If it makes you feel better to tell your people that, then I won’t complain. I don’t think most would believe the truth anyhow.”
“There are all kinds of truth, Ancient One, and most people don’t care about it. And I wouldn’t worry about Alette. Even if she did find out, she’d leave the baby alone. She wouldn’t ever harm a child, and she’d hunt down anyone else who tried. I guess she does have a few redeeming qualities.”
“We will need paperwork for her, birth certificate, adoption papers and other such necessities. Would you arrange that for us as you did for Kayla?”
“Yeah, I’ll talk with Deke. He’ll get you everything you need.”
I had never even thought of that. We’d have to have papers for courts, doctors, any number of other things. There was so much I hadn’t thought of. What else were we missing? My brain spun as it went off in a dozen different directions. At least I knew that the documents we got from Ussier would hold up under scrutiny. I was sure he had plenty of practice.
“So does that mean our debt is paid off?” I asked him.
For the first time, those dangerous dimples of Ussier’s flashed. “I’ll get back to you on that.”
“Figures.”
“Yeah, our debt’s done. Consider it a gift from the city to the new mother,” Ussier said, looking directly at me.
“Asswipe.” Damn, the fucker got me every time. One of these days I was going to one up him.
Ussier became serious. “In all sincerity, we owe you a great debt. If there is anything you need, the door is open.” Then he paused. “Don’t make it a habit.”
Kristair inclined his head formally at him. “It is my goal to lay low for awhile. We’ve had an exciting two years. I’m getting a little old for all of this craziness.” Then, in my head, for me alone, “Besides, I know how much you want a normal life.”
“Kristair, life ceased to be normal the moment I met you. I think I’ve gotten used to it.”
“I’m not sure, Ancient One. For some of us, trouble seems to seek us out, not the other way around.”
“Well then, Jacob and I will just have to keep a close eye out for it.” Kristair rose, glancing at the clock and then down at Rissa, who had fallen asleep in his arms, and a look of wonder crossed his face. “I think I’ll go lay her down. If you’ll excuse me, Ussier, as always, it’s been a pleasure to see you again.”
I watched him go, warming inside as I savored the fact he’d never be taken from me again. All of Kristair’s fears about the Ascended claiming him were gone. He was mine forever, and I was going to cherish him. Then I looked at Ussier, surprised to find him studying me.
“I have to thank you, Ussier. You helped us out as much as we helped you. And as much as I might regret this at another time, if you need anything, you can ask.” I paused, my brows furrowing. “It may sound crazy coming from me, considering what Kristair can do, but I just want to keep the both of them safe.”
“I can understand that, Corvin. That’s my job, too, to keep my family safe. And whether you like it or not, you knuckleheads are a part of my family. Don’t get all mushy on me.”
I tugged on my earlobe, grateful for once for Ussier’s teasing. “Yeah, thanks, I was really afraid that we were about to have a moment there or something.” I rose to escort him back to the door. “And if you do need something, try to schedule it offseason, okay?”
“Of course. Can’t distract the ringer on my fantasy team.”
I stared at Ussier, incredulous. “You have a fantasy team? Don’t you have better things to do than watch my stats?”
“I’ve got to have some down time when I’m not saving your ass. Me, Deke, Hugh, and Taylor all have our own league. My youngling tried to draft you first. Her team is based on how cute the players’ asses are. But I got you first, so I own your ass.”
“Rest assured, Jacob. Your ass is all mine.”
“Just wonderful. Go home, Ussier.” I shook his hand, trying to convey everything I felt in that moment to a man that I was still afraid of, but who had won my respect. “I’m sure I’ll see you around.” Without another word, Ussier turned and left. I watched from my door as he got into his 4Runner and backed out of the driveway.
Then I turned my attention to my lover, who was waiting down the hallway for me.
Chapter 34
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RISSA FUSSED sleepily as I got her ready for bed, but a soothing thought soon had her yawning. The crib wasn’t ready yet, so I laid her down in her playpen and covered her with a light blanket. The room was an absolute mess. It would take us all week at least to get the house set up for a baby.
“What deep thoughts are you thinking?” Jacob asked softly, coming into the room and smiling down at Rissa. “I just can’t keep up with your mind sometimes.”
I slipped my hand into his. “I was thinking that things have not been quiet once since I met you. You know, I once went a whole decade once with nothing untoward happening, and then you came along.”
I sensed Jacob’s amusement as he lifted one brow. “Sounds damn boring if you ask me.”
“Honestly, it was. I think I slept through half of it.”
Jacob leaned down and rubbed the back of his knuckle against Rissa’s cheek. I sensed his mix of emotions and shared them. We would just have to take it a little bit at a time. “I’m already separating the two of them, our daughter Rissa and that nutcase Nerissa. How weird is that?”
“Not at all. She is a different person now. Some personality traits I’m sure will remain the same, she’ll be stubborn, demanding, and arrogant at times.”
“So you’re saying she’ll fit right in with us.”
I chuckled. “Exactly. But she won’t be under the same pressures either. She won’t be lonely. I doubt her mind will crack again, not with both of us there.” I turned to face him. “You’re able to separate the two because you’re not the kind of a man to carry a grudge or to hold Rissa to blame for crimes that she cannot remember. She is lucky to have you.”
“Come on.” Jacob tugged on my hand, leading me out of the room. “It has been a very long day, and I’m dying to crawl into bed with you. After these last two weeks, I’m not moving until somebody wakes me.”
I shut off the light and eased her door partially shut. Both of us would hear her stir in our thoughts long before she cried. I sensed Jacob kept the same light link with Rissa that I did.
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