by Vella Munn
“Not bad.” He rested his shoes on the rocks as she had and looked up. The barely visible tree tops, swaying to the left and then the right, were never still. “I’m getting dizzy.” He shook his head but continued to watch the trees dance. He should go check on the barbeque but it was so peaceful here.
A rare experience for him.
“I’ve never been here in winter during a storm,” she said. “Imagine what the wind must have been like when the trees by the lake went down. I’d freak out.”
In his mind’s eye he saw her standing in her gauzy dress trapped by a raging storm while massive trees screamed. The wind would whip the skirt about, maybe grab hold of it and lift her off her feet.
Where had that crazy thought come from? “Fortunately you weren’t. I wonder what animals do?”
As the breeze continued moving the treetops about, they debated which animals would hide where and whether they sensed when a storm was coming. She maintained weather forecasting was essential to wild animals’ survival. For the first time in his life, he tried to put himself in another species’ place.
They paused while he put on the steaks and she went in for plates, silverware, salad, and condiments. Then, balancing their dinners on their laps, they talked about forest fires; or rather she told him what she knew about a forest fire that had destroyed around a hundred acres at Rabbit Ears which wasn’t far from Lake Serene.
He vaguely recalled hearing about the fire. Back then he hadn’t paid close attention because he hadn’t been here when it happened but obviously the destruction and potential for more of the same had made a big impact on Alisha.
“I know fire is part of nature’s cycle and vital for a forest’s health. At least I tell myself it is, but I hate the destruction.” She put a piece of steak in her mouth and chewed. “That really is good. So tender.”
She’d already complimented him on how the steak had turned out, but he didn’t mind hearing it again. It was getting dark. Maybe he should turn on the outside light, but it seemed like too much effort. As long as she wasn’t cold they’d stay out here, maybe watch night overtake day.
Celebrating stars and moon.
Because he didn’t know much about the controversy over whether it was better to fight forest fires or let them burn, he cast about for a way to change the subject so he’d have something to contribute. Usually by now he’d have moved into seduction mode. Between the breeze, approaching night, and her, he was in no hurry.
He wanted to make love to her all right. Not just get her naked and hot, but something deeper. Something that might take time.
Or not.
“Do you want children?”
Caught off guard, he stared at her. “I haven’t given it much thought.” Liar. “The way I’m living, the moving around, isn’t good for a child.”
“All a child really needs is a loving parent. As long as he or she feels secure that’s what matters.”
He’d had no role model. As a result, he didn’t believe he knew how to give an offspring either of those things.
“I’m sorry.” She gave an attentive Bruce a piece of fat. “I had no business asking what I did. It’s just that I was wondering at what age a child stops playing in the dirt and starts noticing the stars.”
“Five years and three months,” he said.
“Is that a fact? About the whole children thing, men’s biological clocks aren’t timed the way women’s are. You have more time than I do.”
He couldn’t think of anything to say.
She groaned. “I need to stop while I’m marginally ahead, if I am. Hypothetically, would you prefer a boy or a girl?”
Again his thoughts all but stopped. Then with the wind as backdrop, he imagined holding a pink or blue wrapped bundle. It didn’t matter. Both brought out an unexpected, fierce protective impulse. The baby would smile and he’d be lost.
“One of each.” He tried to make his response casual.
“Twins?”
“I’m not sure. That sounds overwhelming.”
“I agree, but since I don’t want to raise an only child and I need to get with the program before too many more years, maybe that’s what I should aim for.”
Feeling relieved because things had shifted to her, he cut off a piece of fat and pretended to sneak it to Bruce. When Bruce gulped it down, he put his fingers to his lips.
“You’re supposed to be quiet about that.” He warned the drooling mutt. “Now she’s onto us.”
“He’s delighted because I don’t eat much meat. So do you think I should put in an order for twins?”
“I don’t think it works that way.”
They ate in silence while keeping Bruce busy shuffling between them. He’d love to have a casual conversation with her, to not have to stay on the alert. At the same time, the setting called for more than discussing the weather. They both knew he hadn’t come here simply to show off his culinary skills. Their kisses, two of them now, left no doubt of that. Nights in the open with what felt like the world all around was the stuff of romantic songs. Meant for a couple to share.
“There.” She pointed skyward. “Do you see it?”
He spotted a dark blur followed a moment later by another.
“Bats,” they said at the same time.
“After mosquitoes,” she added. “I love bats.”
He didn’t think he’d ever heard a woman say that.
“There are several bat houses at the resort,” he told her. “Do you have any?”
“No. My bats sleep behind the shutters that are against the cabin.”
“Maybe you’d have more bats if you had a house or two. I’ll make one.”
Her sigh seemed to float above him, borne by the breeze. “You don’t have to.”
“I want to.” Where was this coming from? First her plumbing, then the dock, and now a construction project.
As if he didn’t know.
“I appreciate it.”
She rubbed the soles of her sandals over the rock she’d propped them on. “I’m trying to come up with something I can do to express my appreciation. For now, cleaning up will have to suffice.” She stood and took his plate from him. She tossed his steak bone toward the lake, and they watched Bruce trot after it.
“I’ll give him mine tomorrow,” she said. “Sit there and count stars. This won’t take long.”
And then what? When their hands and laps weren’t occupied and the moon was upon them, what next?
Chapter Fourteen
NATE HAD REPLENISHED the fire by the time Alisha was done in the kitchen and had rejoined him. Snapping sounds warred with the wind, and she couldn’t see the stars directly overhead for the flames.
If she wanted to play things safe, she’d remind Nate of his early work start tomorrow and tell him she was tired, but although she was, she wasn’t ready for the evening to end. Studying him, she thought this was how frontier men must have looked at the end of the day. All he lacked was a rifle and a backpack to get him over the mountains.
He wasn’t interested in marriage. Granted he hadn’t said much but she’d gotten the subtext. The why of his reluctance was none of her business and anyway it wasn’t that different from how she felt. At least he knew why she didn’t see marriage as a goal. In contrast he hadn’t given her any clues as to his mind-set.
Fine. She wouldn’t push.
She’d let what was left of the evening play out. Worry about trying to get and stay asleep later.
“What color are you going to paint the bat house?” She turned her back to the fire and put her hands behind her. Even though her legs were cool she hadn’t changed into jeans. “I like stripes.”
“I’m the blueprint and construction man. I don’t do decor.”
“I can’t pay union wages.”
“You can’t? In that case, I might have to reconsider my offer.”
When he stood and joined her near the fire with his back also to the flames, she lost a little of her confidence. He made her feel
small and feminine. That, coupled with the dress, the night, and Bruce gnawing on a bone in the dark, had her out of her element. She didn’t know what to say or do.
Finally she pulled herself together enough to tell him Doc would be back tomorrow, bringing his oldest grandchild with him. The twelve-year-old fancied himself a logger and Doc was debating whether to let him run the chainsaw.
“I’m thinking we’ll be able to work on the dock the day after tomorrow,” Nate said. “The boy might enjoy watching that.”
“He’ll probably want to help.”
“Twelve,” Nate muttered. “When my brother was that age, he had a lot of trouble in school. I helped with his homework but I wasn’t always as patient as I should have been.”
Pleased because he was opening up a little about his past, she asked what she hoped were safe questions. She learned that Nate’s brother did all right in math but floundered in his English classes. Neither sibling had been interested in history, while geography fascinated Nate. Unfortunately he hadn’t been able to get his brother to feel the same way.
“Did he graduate?” she asked.
Nate paused just long enough that she wondered if he’d had to think about it then said he had. By then Bruce had done all the damage he could to the bone and was back with them staring up at her.
“What’s that about?” Nate nodded at Bruce.
“He’s telling me he’s ready to go in and curl up on his chair.”
“Yeah,” Nate muttered. “I feel like doing the same thing.”
She smiled at the image of the man trying to fit his length on the chair. Of course she’d make sure he had a pillow and would wrap a blanket around him. Maybe she’d help him out of his jeans before he headed toward the chair but if she did, they might not get any sleep.
Bruce whined. “All right.” She patted her dog’s head but didn’t start for the cabin. “Just as soon as I make sure it’s safe to leave the fire.”
“Let him in. I’ll take care of the fire.”
They sounded so domestic, a couple familiar with each other, dividing up chores they’d done a thousand times—but they weren’t, which was why, after opening the door for Bruce, she went back to where Nate was raking out the coals. Then he threw two buckets of water on the fire, making it sizzle. It would soon get too cold for her to stay out but did she want to ask him to come in?
Of course she did, the primal part of her insisted. She needed him to take off her coat, lift her dress over her head, and carry her into the bedroom.
Either that or take her in the living room, maybe up against a wall or—
“I’ll see you day after tomorrow,” he said.
Jolted out of fantasy, she tried to read his expression, but it was too dark. He was a shadow surrounded by acres of the same. Less substantial than before. Maybe what she wanted him to be.
“All right. Ah, if you know what time to expect you and the others, I’ll get going on something for everyone to eat. Is there anything I should do beforehand? What about those trees? They’re in the way.”
He touched her shoulder, barely brushed it. “We’ll take care of that.”
Fine, only who was going to take care of her sanity when he did something like he just had? She was still wrestling with the question when he moved so she was between him and the dying warmth. His palms cradled her neck as he’d done before. This time she didn’t need him to tilt her head up.
“Is this what you want?” He seemed to be asking.
“Yes.” She answered by wrapping her arms around his waist. “Yes.”
He leaned down and covered her mouth with his. It didn’t matter that they’d kissed before. This felt newly born. Wonderful. The evening had been perfect. Even though they’d covered several sensitive subjects, mostly with her revealing and him listening, she didn’t regret a word either of them had said. Friendships were built on conversations like this. Combined with a delicious meal, what more could she ask for?
But as his warmth enveloped her and his lips sent hers to tingling, she stopped trying to tell herself that Nate and she were becoming friends. They were male and female, two unencumbered adults searching for someone meaningful in their lives.
At least she was.
His arms, chest, mouth, and more, killed the speculation. She would concern herself with what was taking place between them later. Now was for holding on and opening her mouth, brushing his lips with the tip of her tongue and taking his taste into her. She’d only had one small glass of wine, was getting buzzed on him.
He tasted of steak, salt, salad dressing, and butter. Felt like summer sun on her skin.
She didn’t have to stand in place. His hold was so light she could easily break free. Maybe this was his way of reminding her they had no ties on each other. Whenever one of them wanted to, that person could go their own way.
No! She didn’t want it like that. She wanted—needed—more of him. Shared dinners and conversation. More kisses. His embrace. Touching him everywhere and his fingers all over her skin.
Maybe becoming part of his future.
Again she shut down her searching mind and buried herself in sensation. Still-hot coals warmed her back while his body did the same and more to her breasts, stomach, and thighs. When she shifted position, he slid his leg between hers. The connection deepened, entered new territory.
Night. A cool high-altitude night with solitude all around. Moon and stars overhead, a nearby lake lapping against the shore and the trees dancing an intimate dance with the wind.
Nate and her kissing.
Arms around each other. Speaking silently.
His hold relaxed, changed. Trembling, she tracked his hands’ movement as they slid over her hips and down her thighs. He gathered up her skirt and reached under it. Workman’s fingers caught her legs on fire, prompting her to grab his shirt and try to pull it over his head. However, she couldn’t without breaking off their kiss, which she refused to do. She continued to shiver as his hands roamed her legs, hips, and belly, as he dipped under her panty’s waistband and stroked her mons.
She kept making whimpering sounds, somehow lifted his shirt enough so she could flatten her palms over his ribs. Her arms and breasts burned. She couldn’t feel her feet. He tried to reach the back of her bra, but even when she bent her knees to aid him, there was too much fabric in the way.
The world was gone, winking out under an onslaught of need.
Unfortunately, she couldn’t ignore the strain in her neck forever. Her back threatened to cramp. Movie and TV lovers indulged in seemingly endless foreplay, but she couldn’t. After pressing her lips against his in reluctant farewell, she let go. Before she could explain why she was stopping, he pulled her skirt back down. His fingers’ imprint remained on her sensitive flesh, and she whimpered.
“You’re right.” His voice was thick. “I need to leave.”
“That’s not—”
“Before this turns into something else.”
Something he didn’t believe they were ready for or maybe he wasn’t interested in? Why, if he didn’t want them to become lovers, had he gone so far—let her arouse him? Cursing her doubting mind, she fought to ignore her own arousal, his comment, and her reckless decision to call what they’d been doing foreplay.
“What about tomorrow?” she asked when she knew better. Her cheeks burned. “If you want to get away from the resort after work—”
“I’m going to check out a trail I just heard about.”
She managed a hopefully noncommittal. “Oh.” An awkward silence followed. He loved bike riding but was he using that as an excuse not to see her? Darn it, she was too old for this adolescent insecurity.
“Don’t expect us right after work the day after tomorrow,” he said and started toward his barbeque. “It’ll take a while to get things ready.” He held his hand over the coals. “Do you mind if I leave this? It’s still warm.”
Of course she didn’t and told him so. Then, although she preferred letting the night s
urround her, she went inside and turned on the porch light so he could gather up the rest of his belongings. She debated following him to his truck but she had to get over herself. If he was anyone else and her reactions weren’t all messed up, she would wave off her visitor, not wonder if said visitor was reliving the same things she was. How could it be different?
He got into the cab, started the motor, and rolled down the window.
Only then did he acknowledge her. “I enjoyed tonight,” he said.
Enjoy? Was that all it had been for him? “So did I.”
Chapter Fifteen
AS HE DROVE away, Nate barely noted the ruts and narrow dirt road connecting the cabins to the wider, smoother gravel county road on this side of the lake. He’d done the right thing by deciding not to see Alisha tomorrow. From what he could tell, there wasn’t anything she wasn’t willing to share with him, including her body. He admired her openness about her mother’s mental issues and her ability to admit her ambivalence about her career.
In contrast, he remained bottled up, locked down. Afraid of her sensual power over him.
If things continued to progress between them, she would want to know about his background. Deserved to.
He hadn’t seen this fascination coming and that was the problem. He was used to physical attraction and had taken care to make sure his relationships with women remained casual. They enjoyed each other’s company in and out of bed but, because he selected women without much depth, he hadn’t had to worry about being expected to spill his guts. If a woman asked questions he wasn’t comfortable answering, he’d always found a way to change the subject, often by getting her out of her clothes.
Alisha wouldn’t be satisfied with that. Yes, she’d enjoy being seduced and giving as much as she got, but after the seduction was over, and even before, she would expect more than a physical connection. Now that she’d revealed so much, she’d want the same from him.
Too complicated.
Too hard.