by Avani Gregg
After they exchanged vows, my parents really didn’t have any close communication with her parents for about a year. They settled into their home in Broad Ripple and then, about a year later, my mom got pregnant with my older sister, Shanti. That’s when everyone decided to just forgive and forget—a grandchild was reason enough and, to this day, we’re all really close to my grandparents. Even crazier? They love, love, love my dad! They saw what an amazing father he was and all their doubts and fears just flew out the window. When I ask my mom if all this drama was upsetting, she shrugs. “Voni,” she tells me, “we’re just not the norm. We don’t follow what everyone else does.” By “we” she means herself and my dad, but also me. She always tells me to blaze my own trail, ignore trends, and shake things up if need be. She believes strongly that you should do what makes you happy, even if it’s not what everybody else is doing. In her case, that meant bending the rules when it came to her culture. Yes, she loves Indian food, clothes, and traditional holidays. But she didn’t agree so much with the whole male-dominant culture and beliefs. What did you expect? She has three girls and she raised us to be strong, to be independent, and to know our worth.
Lucky for us, my dad is a great guy. He even resigned from the fire department and stayed home with us full-time while my mom went to work because her job had better pay and benefits. I think that’s pretty amazing. You won’t find a lot of guys eager to change diapers and go to Mommy and Me classes, but Dad never complained. He didn’t care what anyone would think or say about it. To him, there was no greater job than caring for his girls and he didn’t trust anyone else to do it.
I’ve had a great upbringing. I’m not “this” or “that” but a mix of many cultures, and my family embraces all of them. My mom and dad have always been so forthcoming about who they are and where they come from, and it gives me a unique perspective on the world. I know they told us a lot of this stuff when we were growing up, but none of it really resonated until now. I see the struggles they went through as the foundation for how they raised us. Their backstories color mine. I have a good life, a comfortable life, so I can’t totally relate to the hardships they went through, but I do appreciate how they built themselves up and found each other along the way. I also realize how much they have done and continue to do for me. Beyond all the gymnastics meets, homework help, and plain ol’ putting a roof over my head, they are my safety net. My mom has worked in the pharma industry for the past seventeen years, but she recently quit her job to help me with my career full-time. Some eighteen-year-olds would resent a parent being so involved, but I wouldn’t want it any other way. She’s got my back more than anyone. And my dad, well, he would move mountains for me. After all, he gave up his career in the fire department to take care of me and my sisters when we were little. But it’s also the day-to-day stuff he does that means so much—silly things that he knows will put a smile on my face. I will never forget the time I went to Target at Halloween in search of this cute little light-up ghost decoration and they were out of them. I came home so upset and disappointed (yeah, I can be a bit of a drama queen). The next day, my dad snuck out and went to another Target further away to find one to surprise me. If that doesn’t sum it up, I don’t know what does: How many fathers would go “ghost hunting” just to make their kid happy?
I know I can be a handful sometimes, and my career doesn’t make things particularly easy on my family. Our lives look very different than they did just a few years ago. My life has exploded, and I’ve gotten to travel the world and meet some really cool people. But on the other hand, Priya had to leave her friends in Indiana to move to LA, and Shanti has experienced the dark side of social media (people hating) because of me. My mom and dad hold it all together for us, no matter how much chaos is going down. But I do worry that I put my family through a lot because of the path I’ve chosen—and is that really fair? If you ask them, they’ll say, “We’re all in this together.” And they’re not just quoting the High School Musical anthem, they actually mean it. We are all feeling, and dealing with, the impact of me getting “famous.” When I started blowing up, friends and strangers would try to use my sisters to get to me. When I would come to pick Priya up at school, they would surround the car. Or they’d follow Shanti on social media to try and get closer to me. But the one thing I really couldn’t stand was when my sisters started getting hate on their own social media accounts. It was like my haters took it out on them—guilty by association. I don’t care if they come after me, but my family did nothing to be on the receiving end of this… It makes me furious and I’m gonna clap back.
My mom is annoyingly practical about it all: “Do you enjoy what you’re doing? Then stop reading the comments!” She’s kinda right. She was also very insistent that if I was going to go into social media as a career, I had to do it the right way. “Is this what you want to pursue? Because if it is, you’re not just going to move out to LA and go do your thing. We will all move, we will set you up with the right team, and you will still finish school.” She does have a way of spelling things out—no ifs, ands, or buts about it! At the same time, she and Dad always let me chase my dreams. My dad is a dreamer like me, so he will tell me I can do anything I set my mind to. Did I mention he sees the word “impossible” as “I’m possible”? My mom will say, “Go for it,” but then she will make sure I have a plan in place to see it through. She’s the more realistic, detail-oriented person. I need both of them behind me because I have seen way too much crazy go down in this business. I know how easy it is to get taken advantage of, to feel intimidated by people who are older, more experienced, and convinced they know what’s best for you. Spoiler alert: they don’t. That’s where my parents come in—my eyes, my ears, and my mouthpiece. If I am not happy, if I feel uncomfortable or disrespected, they will do whatever they need to do to make it right.
Are they a little overprotective sometimes? Um, yes. But then again, worrying is part of their job description. I know that above all else, they want me to be happy and trust my instincts. They know that they have to let me try, succeed, fail, and figure it out for myself. But even though they raised me to be independent, they want me to know I’m not flying solo. Especially during the pandemic, I had to constantly think about not just what I wanted, but also what was safe for the people I live with. It wasn’t all about me; I had to consider how my actions would affect my family, and that helped me make smarter decisions for us all. You can call it a pod, a group, a tribe, whatever; for me, family is a reminder that I’m a part of something bigger than myself. That comes with responsibility, but it also comes with an incredible sense of belonging and security. I am not—and will never be—alone.
People ask who I’m more like, my mom or my dad. Hmmm, that’s a tough one. The way I see it, I inherited qualities from each of them that blend well with my unique Avani-ness. It’s like my secret sauce: I have Mom’s strength, laser-beam focus, and drive, and I have Dad’s soft-spoken way and crazy, stupid love for people. When you mix it all together, you get me! They’re also pretty cool and not too bossy, which we all know is a common parental trait. They try not to tell me what to do and let me handle my biz. Even if they’re anxious over something—like one of the songs on my TikTok being too “raunchy”—they will offer words of wisdom, step aside, and hope that something they’ve said eventually sinks in. I’m gonna do what I’m gonna do, but if they nag me enough, some of it is bound to stick. Plus, they often have a very good point that’s worth remembering or even writing down.
Let’s just keep that between us. I don’t need it goin’ to their heads.
Meet My Dogs!
Jack and Benny came into our lives in 2011, and they are just as much a part of our fam as I am. Of course, they have their own backstory. Our neighbor had a cute little Maltese dog that was rescued from an illegal puppy mill. They found out that this little dog was pregnant, and she eventually gave birth to a litter of five puppies. We don’t know if they were mixed or purebred Maltese since the mom
was a rescue, but what we do know is that they had a lot of health issues. When our neighbor’s dog had the puppies, we decided that we would go and adopt one for our family. We had lost our Rottweiler, King, a couple of years earlier when we put him down due to cancer, and it left a big hole in all our hearts. Personally, I had been begging for another dog for a long time. When we went to choose one of the pups, my sisters and I fell in love with the runt of the litter. He had a blue collar on. Then there was this little butterball pup that kept coming up to us while the others shied away. He had a black collar on. We fell in love with both of them, so we ended up leaving with two puppies instead of one—a puppy jackpot! Our parents agreed to it because they thought it would be better to have a pair so they could keep each other company. We just couldn’t choose between them.
My mom wanted to name them Ben and Jerry, like the ice cream, because who doesn’t love ice cream? We all thought it was a cute idea… except Dad. So we compromised and went with Benny Blue and Jack Black, like the actor. They have been inseparable ever since. Every time they lie down, their bodies have to be touching. It’s so adorable. I can’t imagine my life without these little fur babies.
Run It Back: Family Ties
In case you missed it (or need a little cheat sheet), every chapter ends with my quick take on each topic. I don’t know about you, but I like to have things summed up in a few short and sweet bullet points to keep on hand. I have a pretty bad memory (probs because I’m always doing five things at the same time), so the more you remind me of something, the better it sticks. Feel free to refer back to these boxes whenever you want to Krazy Glue a little inspo to your brain. You’re welcome!
The most important things in life aren’t things, they’re people. In my case, the fam I was born into and the one I choose (aka my friends and boyfriend) always come first.
Family doesn’t always have to be blood—it can be your beb or your bestie, a coach or a teacher, or another relative (like my mom-mom) who is there for you.
Family will show up when you need them, to listen to you whine or wig out, to hug it out, or to make a midnight run to Mickey D’s (okay, that might only be a few of you, but you know who you are).
Family will love you unconditionally, even if you mess up, complain, yell, order them out of your room, etc. You cannot kick them to the curb even if you try because they see through your nasty and know you are 110 percent awesome. You cannot convince them otherwise.
Family will tell it to you straight. It may not be what you want to hear, but it’s almost always what you need to hear. So, listen. Be respectful. Let it sink in before you push it aside. Parents especially have an annoying habit of being right most of the time.
Your family’s backstory colors yours. Even if that story is a little problematic (like my dad’s), you can learn and grow from it. You can repeat the same mistakes, or you can do better. It’s your choice.
Family is a reminder that you are part of something bigger than yourself. It’s a community, no matter how big or small, and the people you consider your fam will always be your home.
On Avani
My inner circle is tight. These are the people who know me better than anyone, and I asked them to share memories of me in each chapter. I’m a little nervous for them to spill too much tea, but I told them not to hold back. I asked, “What’s your Avani backstory?” and they all were eager to answer. Go ahead, guys, tell me what you really think!
* * *
My dad, Lewis Gregg, says:
I’m so proud of Avani and all she’s accomplished, and I know it’s just the beginning of what I like to call her “empire.” She builds it with all this creativity and determination. I can truly say she’s never satisfied, and that ain’t a bad thing. She won’t settle for less, and is always pushing for bigger and better things. Even when she was little, she could just look at something and announce, “I can do that! I can make that!” And she could. She doesn’t know the word “no.” She also has such a strong sense of character, and she’s aware that she has a platform she can use for good. She feels her responsibility in a very powerful way. But while she’s doing all this, I also have to remind her that she’s eighteen, and she’s got the whole world ahead of her. She doesn’t have to build Rome in a day! I say take time to have fun, to count your blessings, to be in the moment, right? But in the same breath, don’t let your dreams slip away. She’s always getting that speech from me: “Don’t be lazy; do what you set out to do and follow through. And while you’re at it, clean up after yourself!” Most of the time I don’t have to say it more than once because she pushes herself hard and she knows what she’s doing.
In the beginning, Avani was just in her room and we never saw what she was putting together until it was posted. I was amazed by how great it was, but it was nothing special to her—she’s so humble. Once, she did a video where she popped up dressed like a guy with a mustache and a flannel shirt. It still cracks me up, and I think I’ve watched it fifty times over.
My daughter, she’s funny! She lights up when she’s on camera. She’s also incredibly smart. I remember thinking when all this started to blow up, she’s like one of the top quarterbacks of TikTok and social media. She was figuring out which way to go, calling the shots, studying the other players. I can just hear her now: “Dad, football again, seriously?” Well, you know your social media and I know my sports. After a while, I learned to trust her instincts because she is rarely wrong. I will just say one more thing: when you see that goal line out in front of you, Voni, keep your pace steady and your wits about you. You’re comin’ up the right way and you will score; I know it in my bones. You’ve already got the one-name thing goin’ on, so you might just be a JLo or a Madonna one day, and I’d be cool with that. Whatever you choose, whatever you set your sights on, know your dad is here and I gotcha.
chapter two Throwback
If you ask my parents what I was like as a little kid, they will both come up with the same word and probably put an exclamation point after it: stubborn! It’s an accurate description of little me (and maybe even here-and-now me). When I was three, my parents put my older sister and me in a Taekwondo class. The instructor tried to get all the kids to respond to him “Yes, sir!” but I wouldn’t do it. He got down on one knee, right in front of my face, and tried to look fierce and intimidating. I stared right back at him and kept my mouth shut. Finally, he called over a female instructor, thinking maybe she could teach me some discipline, but I just shook my head emphatically. Needless to say, my parents took me out of that class pretty quickly—and they knew they had one tough cookie on their hands.
As a kid, I rarely had tantrums, but when I did, they were baaaaad. Lots of screaming, kicking, crying, and throwing stuff. They went on for hours until I wore myself out. You just couldn’t tell me “no” or “stop”—it was my way or the highway. So it’s fitting that a road trip was the scene of one of my worst meltdowns. My family was headed to a picnic about a thirty-minute drive from our home. As my parents were unloading my stroller and food from our van, I decided to climb out myself—and I fell. I barely even scraped my knee, but I worked myself into a hysterical fit. I’m not sure if it was the pain, the sight of blood, or the fact that I had failed to demonstrate my “big girlness,” but I cried and cried, screaming for a Band-Aid. My mom frantically searched the diaper bag, but there were none left. As soon as I heard that, I threw myself down and pounded the ground with my fists.
We ended up having to pack everything back up and head home. I kept it up the entire ride, climbing out of my car seat and refusing to sit still or settle. My mom had to hold me down until we got home to keep me from climbing out a window. I was so mad, I bit her arm and left huge teeth marks and a bruise. What did we learn from this episode of Life with Avani? Watch out… I bite! I could be quite the tiny terror when the mood struck.
Before the terrible toddler years, my mom says I was a lovely little baby. Calm, content, a good sleeper, and very, very quiet. I was b
orn November 23, 2002, in Indianapolis, Indiana. I’m told I was my mom’s easiest pregnancy and delivery, and I even came a couple days early. I guess I was eager to make my grand entrance in the world. My parents were super stressed because Shanti’s delivery was a nightmare, so they were anticipating mine would be the same. Lucky for them, I cooperated. Mom gave a few good pushes and out I came. Shanti was very excited to have a new baby sister or brother—my parents didn’t want to know my gender until I arrived on the scene. Surprise! It’s a girl… again! In keeping with my mom’s heritage, my parents gave me a traditional Indian name. Avani means “earth,” and my family calls me “Voni” for short.
As a baby, I mostly wore onesies, but as soon as I was old enough to dress myself, I would change my outfits at least two to three times during the day. I didn’t like anything girly or fancy; I wanted to run around in sweatshirts, tee shirts, and tights. Such a fashionista. If I’m being perfectly honest, I still switch it up all day. I have always loved fashion and styling myself. Also, I can never decide what I want to wear, so I wear it all!