by Emma Miller
As her eyes adjusted, there was no doubt in Eve’s mind that Levi Miller was good-looking. He wasn’t overly tall, but he had broad shoulders and nice hands that were clean, his nails trimmed. His hair was a medium brown, shiny and a little long, the way unmarried boys sometimes let theirs get when they were away from their mothers’ watchful eyes. He had a strong chin, a long, straight nose and expressive blue-gray eyes, framed by heavy brows.
He was as handsome as she was plain.
Eve had always known she wasn’t a pretty girl. But she didn’t think she was ugly, either. She was just...plain. She was ordinary in looks with brown hair and brown eyes and a short, thick, round body. She was ordinary in the way a white dinner plate was ordinary. Nothing fancy, but well suited to the task. Eve’s appearance was suitable to who she was: a woman of God, Amish, a big sister to three brothers and two sisters, and a daughter to Amon Summy. In that order.
“Please go.” Eve lowered her gaze, unable to bear the two of them standing there looking at her.
“I don’t mean to intrude,” Levi said. He had a warm and steady tenor voice. “I came to see if I could help.”
Eve clasped her hands together and glanced down to where the chicken had scratched in the sawdust. There were lines and shapes. As she studied them at her feet, she thought she saw a heart, and she stared at it.
A sign from God?
Eve had never been one for looking for signs from God, not like her father. He never liked to make big decisions without first praying and then waiting for a sign. When he had decided he wanted to take her out of school after she had completed the sixth grade, he had told her he would make his decision in a few days. The fact that she didn’t want to quit school and stay home to work all day hadn’t mattered. He had prayed and then waited for a sign. It had come in the form of a single black-eyed Susan in her mother’s flower bed near the back door of their house. Her father said that was a sign from God that she was meant to be home alone during the day while the others were in school.
He had received the same sign when he decided that her sister Annie should leave school. However, their father had received no such sign from God concerning the boys in the family. Both older boys attended classes until they were sixteen, and Abiah would be in eighth grade in the fall. Eve and Annie had talked, wondering if their father would receive a sign that their sister Naomi, who had just completed the sixth grade, was to end her schooling.
“Please, Eve,” Mari fretted. “I don’t know how else to help you. Even though my mam said you might be able to stay with us for a little while, my dat said no. Your father and him being cousins, he said he didn’t think it was right for him to get involved in a family matter. Especially since my father and yours are not on good terms.”
“I can’t promise you I can help, but if you don’t tell me what’s wrong, I know I can’t,” Levi said. He spoke gently to her as if she were an animal that might bolt at any moment.
“Come on.” Mari sat down on the bale of straw and patted it. “Sit down and tell Levi what happened.” She caught the hem of Eve’s dress and tugged on it.
Eve dropped down. “You didn’t tell him?”
“Ne, of course not. I gave you my word. I said I wouldn’t tell anyone without your permission.” Mari took Eve’s hand in her own. “It’s better if you explain to him, in your own words. It’s your story to tell,” she said soberly.
Eve hung her head in shame. “I can’t,” she whispered. How could she tell Levi Miller, the most eligible bachelor in Lancaster County, how stupid she had been? How naive?
“I wish you would.” Levi walked away and came back with a milking stool. He set it an appropriate distance from the two young women and sat down, facing them. “I’m a pretty good listener. That’s what my sisters say.”
It took Eve a moment to find her voice. She couldn’t bring herself to look at him as she spoke. “You have sisters?”
“A bunch of them. My sister Mary is older than I am and married with children. She lives in New York, where we’re originally from. But my sisters back in Delaware—stepsisters technically—we talk all the time. There’s Lovey, who’s married and lives down the road, Ginger, who just wed in the spring to our neighbor Eli, and Bay, Nettie and Tara are still at home.” He spoke slowly, his voice growing on Eve.
But Eve still couldn’t look at him. It took her what seemed like an eternity to speak, but he waited patiently. She was embarrassed to tell him what had happened, but she was running out of choices. She had prayed and prayed to God to save her. What if He had sent Levi with a solution?
Eve swallowed hard, digging deep within herself to find the nerve to speak. “I did a foolish thing,” she blurted.
Levi threaded his fingers together, lowering his head thoughtfully before looking up at her again. “Haven’t we all?”
“Ne, this was really foolish. I didn’t think it through.” Once she started to speak, she couldn’t stop. It all tumbled out of her. “I met this boy named Jemuel. He’s the same age as me. He seemed so nice. He came every Friday for weeks. Stopped by at my father’s table at the farmers market. Jemuel and I talked, and we laughed. And one day, he brought me a turkey sandwich and an orange soda pop. He kept asking me if I wanted to go to a singing with him. I thought he was being nice, and not many boys—” Eve’s voice caught in her throat.
“It’s all right,” Mari assured her, taking her hand again and squeezing it.
“No one ever asks to take me to a singing, or offers a ride home,” Eve continued. “Not that I get to go to a lot of singings.”
“Her mother passed twelve years ago, having her youngest sister. Eve cares for three brothers and two sisters, all younger. And her father. She runs the house, cooks, cleans—she does it all.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. I lost my mother a few years ago. I understand how hard it is,” Levi said. “Did your father not remarry?”
“He did,” Eve murmured. “But she left.”
They were all quiet for a moment until Mari urged, “Tell Levi what happened with Jemuel.”
Eve exhaled. She was still shaky inside, but at least she didn’t feel as if she was going to burst into tears at any moment anymore. “Jemuel kept inviting me out. I asked my father and asked. And every time he said no. He said he didn’t know Jemuel or his family and that it wasn’t—” She hesitated and then went on. “He said it wasn’t safe for a young woman to ride in a buggy with a man she didn’t know.”
Eve was quiet long enough that Levi said, “Okay?” his tone pressing her to go on.
“I went anyway.” The words came out sounding more defiant than Eve intended. “I disobeyed my father, and a week ago Friday night, I sneaked out of the house and met Jemuel at the end of our lane. We were supposed to go to a singing. I wore my favorite dress. Blue. I love a blue dress.” She didn’t know why she told him that detail. What did men care about what a woman wore? But she had loved that dress that was now ruined, torn in shreds, and waiting in her sewing room to become something else. The dress had reminded her of her mother because her mother’s favorite color had been blue, and she had worn it all the time.
“You sneaked out of the house?” Levi pushed gently.
“Ya. It was after nine and dark when I left. Jemuel said the singing didn’t start until later, so it would be fine going that late. I didn’t use my head,” she admitted. “I didn’t think about the fact that singings don’t start at ten o’clock at night. I was just happy that Jemuel wanted to be with me. That he liked me.”
Eve took another deep breath. “So... I got into Jemuel’s buggy with him. And at first, everything was fine. We were talking and laughing. He told me a funny story about chasing a calf through his sister’s spinach patch. But the minute he took the beers out from under the seat, I should have been suspicious. I should have told him to turn around and take me home. Either that or I should have just gotten ou
t of the buggy and walked home. Before it was too late.” She whispered her last words.
Mari wrapped her arm around Eve’s shoulders. “You’re doing great. Keep going.”
“I didn’t drink the beer, but he did. He drank the beers and threw the cans out of the buggy. Right on the road. I didn’t get suspicious, though, until I realized we were headed away from the direction where he said the singing was. But even then, I didn’t make him turn around.” She looked up to see Levi watching her, his face without judgment. It gave her the courage to go on.
“Instead of going to his aunt’s, he drove down a long lane to an abandoned farmhouse. I told him I didn’t want to go inside. That I wanted to go to the singing or home. Jemuel said we had to make a stop at the house to get something for his uncle, and then we’d go to the singing. He said the house belonged to them. He wanted me to go inside with him, and I didn’t—”
Her words caught in her throat, but this time she feared she wouldn’t be able to speak again.
“Take a breath,” Mari encouraged, rubbing Eve’s arm.
Eve inhaled deeply and went on. “I didn’t want to go, but I went anyway.” She spoke now in a voice barely above a whisper. She could hear the black-and-white chicken clucking in the far corner of the barn. “When we got inside, Jemuel, he...he tried to—” She felt her face grow hot and she couldn’t speak.
“He tried to push himself on her,” Mari finished for her.
“Push himself?” Levi didn’t seem to understand what Mari was saying. Then, suddenly, the expression on his face changed. “He tried to take advantage of her,” he said angrily. “Did he...harm you, Eve?”
Eve felt as if she were frozen. She couldn’t speak. She couldn’t move. She could barely hear. All she saw was Levi sitting there on the milk stool, handsome, smart Levi. And here she was, ugly and stupid.
“He didn’t.” Mari took over the explanation. “Eve hit him with a broken chair, and she ran. He chased her, but she was smart. She didn’t take the road. Instead, she ran through the woods. It took her all night long, but she found her way home.”
“I thought my father would go to Jemuel, to Jemuel’s father, to his bishop and tell them what happened. I thought my father would defend me. I thought he would see Jemuel punished. He didn’t.” Tears welled in Eve’s eyes. “He said it was all my fault.”
“Wait.” Levi came off the milk stool so quickly that he knocked it over. “Your father blamed you?” he asked, his hands on his hips as he stood before her.
Eve nodded, unable to verbally respond.
“Her father told her that she had shamed herself and the family, and the only way to make amends for her sin was to marry Jemuel,” Mari finished for her.
“What sin did you commit?” Levi asked, his eyes narrowing. “Being too trusting is not a sin, Eve.”
Eve pressed her lips together. “My only sin was not obeying my father, and for that, I confessed to our bishop, though I didn’t tell him the details. And I apologized to my father.”
“Let me make sure I have this right.” Levi began to pace. “A man took you for a buggy ride, making you think he was taking you somewhere he had no intention of taking you. And then he tried to take advantage of you?” he asked in disbelief.
Eve hung her head.
“And if she doesn’t marry Jemuel, this week, her father is putting her out of the house and having her shunned,” Mari explained. “I tried to convince my parents to let her stay with us, but I couldn’t.”
“It’s all right,” Eve assured her cousin, smiling feebly at her. “I understand. My father can be a difficult man. I wouldn’t bring those difficulties into your father’s home. You don’t deserve that. None of you do. But I cannot marry Jemuel,” she went on, her voice so strained that she barely recognized it. “I will not. But I don’t know where to go. What to do.” She finally felt brave enough to meet Levi’s gaze. “If I’m shunned, I’ll lose everything. I’ve already lost my family, but to lose my God...”
“You can’t lose God,” Levi insisted. “No one can lose God. He’s with us always.”
“I’ll lose everything,” Eve repeated. “And I cannot lose my faith. I cannot lose my church. I know that most people our age at least consider what it would be like to leave our homes, our Amish way of life, to be an Englisher, but I never have. I love our faith, our simple ways. I love God, and I will not abandon Him.” Her last words were fierce.
Mari rose, crossing her arms over her chest. “You see the problem here,” she told him. “If Eve doesn’t marry immediately, she’s out of her father’s house, out of the Amish community.”
Levi nodded, still pacing. “And you don’t think that your father said these things impulsively? You don’t think he’ll change his mind?”
“He will not. He thinks me soiled.” The word caught in Eve’s throat. “He’ll have me shunned if I don’t marry. But I’ve never even been out with a boy. I don’t know—”
The barn door opened. “Mari?”
Mari whipped around. It was one of her sisters.
“Aunt Alma is looking for you.” Her sister squinted, her eyes not yet adjusted. “Who else is there with you?”
Mari rushed toward the door and grabbed her sister. “Mind your own knitting.” She gave her a nudge out the door. “I’ll be back as soon as I can,” she called over her shoulder.
The door closed behind them, and the bright light was gone again.
“Mari’s right,” Levi said, returning to his pacing. “You’ve got a problem here.”
“Ya, I do.” Eve gave a little laugh that reflected no humor. “And it’s already been a week. My father is threatening to tell our bishop tomorrow and have me shunned immediately. He’ll put me out then. I know he will.”
Levi stopped directly in front of Eve and looked down at her. “I can only think of one alternate solution here, Eve, and you may not like it, but—”
“Anything,” she whispered, “because I’m afraid if I’m forced, I might choose to marry Jemuel rather than lose myself. Lose my life. And that’s what would happen if I went into the Englisher world. I know it.” She looked up to him. “What can I do?”
Levi held her gaze and shrugged. “You can marry me.”
Chapter Two
Levi led his new wife through the train station lobby, a large duffel bag in each hand. He still couldn’t believe he was a married man. He couldn’t believe that he had impulsively asked Eve to marry him and she had said yes. Never in his wildest dreams could he have guessed he would have walked into that barn less than a week ago a single man and walked out betrothed. To a woman he didn’t know.
It wasn’t that he didn’t want a wife. He had always seen himself someday, down the road, a happily married man like his father. But he’d seen no reason to be in a hurry to wed. His intention had been to finish his apprenticeship and return home to Hickory Grove and build buggies. He would establish a buggy shop, build and sell buggies, save money to build a home for a family and then—and only then—begin looking seriously for a wife.
And all of those carefully laid plans had vanished in a single moment.
That day in the barn when Eve told him what happened to her, his immediate impulse had been to help her. His heart had gone out to the girl, and Levi’s father had always preached to him and his siblings to help those in need. When Eve told him she would sooner marry the man who had tried to attack her than allow her father to have her shunned, the idea that he could marry her had just popped up in Levi’s head. In the moment, it had seemed the perfect solution. Eve would be able to escape her father and the awful man who had tried to take advantage of her, and not lose her church. Levi had known the moment he began talking to Eve that she was a good woman, a woman of faith, the kind he wanted to marry. What he had not considered was what it would mean to him to marry a woman he didn’t know.
And now it was
too late to reconsider. He and Eve were wed, and marriage was forever. But he’d done the right thing. He’d been telling himself that since he got up this morning and lowered himself to his knees, praying to God to show him the way to make his marriage a good one.
Levi glanced at Eve, and thoughts of himself slipped away. She looked tired and scared, and it was his responsibility as her husband to put her at ease.
“Let’s find a place to sit,” Levi said. “The train won’t be here for another forty minutes, but I thought we best be early. Early is always better than late when it comes to catching trains and picking peaches.” He chuckled nervously at his own joke.
Eve offered a smile but said nothing.
He understood how she was feeling. The last week had been overwhelming for him, as well.
This was the first time he and Eve had been alone since the day in the barn almost a week ago. When they parted that day, he had taken a borrowed buggy and gone directly to her father to ask for her hand in marriage. The stern-faced man had met him on the porch and not asked him to come inside, not even when Levi told him why he was there. Their conversation had been brief. Her father had been expecting the man who had tried to assault Eve. However, he had given his permission for Levi to marry his daughter anyway. Amon Summy hadn’t seemed to care all that much who Levi was or why he wanted to marry Eve. Amon just wanted his daughter married and out of his home. Mari’s mother had made the arrangements for her brother, the bishop in their church district, to marry the couple, and a few hours ago, Levi and Eve had wed in front of only a handful of people.
Levi had always imagined his wedding would be like the ones he had been attending since he was a child. He thought he would marry the way his father had married his stepmother and his brothers and sisters had married their spouses. He had envisioned the solemn church service and then a full day of celebration with good food, the laughter of friends and family, and generous gifts that would help him and his wife establish their new home. He’d envisioned a traditional honeymoon of traveling for a few weeks to visit relatives with his new wife before returning home to set up housekeeping.