I entered the room where they were smoking and drinking. “Yo, what’s good, fam?” I said and made sure I make eye contact with every last one of them.
“Whaddup, son?” my partner Mann-Mann asked, and we exchanged dap.
“Yo, the reason why I wanna rap with y’all niggas is because word on the street is that one of you are working with the peoples.” I took a pause so I could observe the reaction from each nigga.
“What the fuck you mean? You trying to say that one of us is a fucking rat?” D. Drizzle stood up.
“Yo, my nigga, that’s exactly what the fuck I’m saying. I know it ain’t me. Yo, ain’t nobody knew about the spot that got raided, so how the fuck did the police raid it? Just like they got me on tape talking about certain shit. I don’t talk business with no-motherfucking-body but y’all. It’s too many coincidences for me to ignore it.”
“Yo, I feel disrespected as fuck. From day one, a nigga’s been riding with you. I ain’t no motherfucking rat, so whoever the fuck it is needs to own their shit ’cause I ain’t feeling this shit,” Mann-Mann said.
I looked at D. Drizzle; he wasn’t saying much. Instead, he was pretending like he was texting on his phone.
“Do you have an idea who it might be?” I looked at D. Drizzle.
“Nah. I ’ont have no idea, son. I know it ain’t me, so I ain’t gon’ point no finger and shit.”
It wasn’t what he said but how he said it. Here he was, supposedly facing life in prison, and he was acting all nonchalant and shit.
“Yo, word to my mother, if and when I find out who the fuck is working with the motherfucking police, it’s gonna be blood every-motherfucking-where.”
I was sure it wasn’t my other two niggas because they were too thorough to be rats. I knew then, without a doubt, he was the one. I wanted to pull out my gun and splatter that nigga’s brain, right then and there, but it wouldn’t be a good move. Plus, I didn’t know if the police were close by.
“I’m out! My nigga let’s roll, go handle some business,” I said to my partner.
I got into my truck, and Mann-Mann got in on the passenger side.
“Yo, my nigga, who you think it is?”
“That nigga, D. Drizzle. Before today, I woulda said nah, but I peeped how nervous he was when I was talking, so without a doubt, I know it’s him.”
“I been peeped that shit since the day we got torn off. He was the first nigga to bond out. I asked who posted his bond, but he ain’t said shit. That nigga deserves to die.”
“Ain’t no other way. It’s death before dishonor. And this nigga done betrayed e’erything we stand for.”
I was tight as fuck. I wondered how long he’d been working with the police. I knew it wasn’t going to be good for us. We did too much dirt together, and this nigga knew too much about the operation. I rubbed my hand over my face. Stress was an understatement to describe the way I was feeling.
“Where we heading to?”
“We gon’ follow this nigga. See who he’s been talking to.”
“Gotcha.”
I pulled off and pulled into a spot where no one could see me. I saw when D. Drizzle’s car drove by. I slowly pulled off behind him, making sure he did not see me following him.
* * *
After days of following him around, I really didn’t see any activity, but I didn’t care ’bout that. I knew that nigga had to go ASAP. I got dressed and jumped in my Jeep. I was on a mission. I had been up all night; so much shit was going on around me. It was like everything was good just months ago but, here I was, looking at life in prison. I ain’t going lie; I wasn’t ready. Ain’t no way I was going to just let them take me in like that. I cut the music up as the tears rolled down my face. I wasn’t crying ’cause I was scared; I was crying because of what I was about to do.
It’s amazing to me, homie
that niggas you fuck wit’, dawg,
you don’t know the truth about these niggas until
y’all fall out.
The mo’ you show a nigga, the mo’ dangerous he
become to ya, homie.
I listened to Plies’s song, “Kept It Too Real,” for the entire ride. I parked my Jeep down two blocks. I tucked my gun in my waist and put my gloves on, and then I crept through the cut that led to D. Drizzle’s crib on Thirty-second Street. I wasted no time; I went to the back. I tried the door, and it opened. I stepped inside and looked around. I’d been in there before, so I knew how the house was set up. It seemed like everyone was asleep, which was a good sign for me. I tapped the nigga’s door, and he jumped up.
“Yo, boss, what the fuck you doing in here?” He tried to reach for his gun that was on the table.
I took several steps closer and pointed my nine at his head. “Go ahead and try me!”
“Man, you trippin.’ What the fuck is going on with you, boss?”
“You already know what this is, my nigga. I hate a motherfucking rat.”
“Boss, I swear on my mama that ain’t me. You my motherfucking nigga. I would never do no shit like that to you,” he pleaded.
“Nigga, fuck you!” I pulled the trigger, firing two shots to his head and two to his chest. I grabbed his cell phone, turned around, and ran out.
“Noooo. Oh, my God. Help,” his mother said when she saw me. I grabbed her, threw her against the wall, and fired two shots in her chest, making sure she was dead. I ran through the rest of the house. It was empty, so I quickly snuck back through the door.
I was kind of fucked up that I had to blast his mama also. There was no way I could’ve known she was in his crib, because she lived in Washington, DC. I remembered how sweet she was to me when I was growing up, but fuck it; there was no way I could leave her alive.
As fast as I got there, I disappeared. I drove all the way out so I could dump the gun. I threw the gun and then lit the gloves on fire. I then got into my Jeep and sped down the highway. I lit a blunt with Plies blaring through my speakers. That was one problem that I didn’t have to worry about no more.
* * *
Malaya
It was family day with the girls. So much had been going on that I had been neglecting them a little. So, today, I decided to take them out to lunch and then shopping. Regardless of what was going on with their daddy and me, I loved my girls to death.
We ate lunch at Regency Square Mall, and then we went into Macy’s. These girls knew how to run my pockets. I ended up spending over $2,000, but it was fine because they were both doing great in school, so they deserved it. We were exiting Macy’s when I came face to face with Javon walking toward me, with a chick holding on to his arm.
I stopped dead in my tracks! I looked at him, and he locked eyes with me. I could tell the nigga was just as shocked as I was. “Hey, there, Mr. Sanders.”
“Yo. What’s good, yo?” he nervously said.
“Babe, who is this?” the bitch asked.
“This is my attorney, Mrs. Ipswich.”
“Oh, okay. I think I called your office the other day, and your secretary said she would leave you a message. How rude am I?” She giggled. “I’m Tania, Javon’s fiancée.”
“Fiancée? Well, congrats, Mr. Sanders. Why didn’t you share the good news?”
“He is shy sometimes. You know how these men are.” She rubbed his hand.
“Yes, don’t I know how these men can be; and oh, yes, I was busy handling your fiancé’s case. I think I’ve got it handled, though. Anyway, I’ve got to go. It was nice seeing you; and, Mr. Sanders, please call my phone as soon as you’re not busy with your family,” I said sarcastically. “Come on, girls,” I said as I stepped off.
“Mama, who was that? He was looking at you like he was mad or something.”
“Baby, that was one of my clients. That’s how he looks.”
I couldn’t tell my daughter that was the nigga I was fucking around with, and that was the bitch he wasn’t claiming. I walked to the car, and we got in. I tried not to show it, but I was deeply bothered.
As soon as we got home, I went straight to my room, locked my door, and lay down. I just asked this nigga about this the other day, and he blatantly lied. I needed to get my shit in order. I did not leave my husband to fuck with a nigga who had his own family. I had no idea what the fuck was going on in my life. I needed to get this shit under control.
I wanted to just say fuck this nigga and his fucking case, but I was too deep in it. I loved this fool’s dick, and I knew it was too late in the case to go to the judge and let him go. The judge would want to know what was going on, and there’s no way I could let him know. I was in too much shit right now. I had to come up with a way to get out of all of this. I’d have rather been myself than to run around here being a nigga’s side bitch. For all that, I could have just stayed with my husband.
* * *
I should’ve stayed away from Javon, but I ain’t goin’ to lie; I missed him eating my pussy and fucking me good. So, I ignored him for a few days, but I couldn’t ignore him any longer, so I decided to go and see him. I was still annoyed but, being the bitch I was, I decided not to let my personal feelings get into the middle of what I needed done. So, I swallowed my pride and got into my car.
I entered the room, and he was lying there. “Hey, you,” he said. He got up and picked me up.
“What are you doing? Put my ass down.”
“Ma, I really need to rap with you. I know you’re tight about the other day, but I swear on my dead mama I’m not with that girl. She’s just on some other shit. The other day she accused me of sleeping around with you and threatened to take my kids away from me. I can’t afford to lose my kids, ma. I was shocked when she said that we were engaged, but I couldn’t say anything because I didn’t want y’all fighting in the mall, and especially in front of your girls.”
“Really? So you were protecting me and my girls’ feelings? Bullshit, Javon. I know you’re fucking with her, but you ain’t got to lie. Just stop playing with my fucking feelings.” I pretended like I was really hurting deep inside.
“Ma, come on. I’m that nigga. I can get any bitch in this damn state, but I want you. Ain’t none of these bitches in your class. You’re in a league by yourself, ma.”
There was something about his words that made me feel warm inside. That nigga had a good way with words. Maybe it was the way he looked into my eyes and it seemed like he was talking to my soul. Bitch, quit playing with your overly dramatic ass, a voice in my head said.
After he was done with his rehearsed speech, we ended up fucking—not making love but fucking. He ripped my clothes off and hungrily gave the dick to me, and I threw it back on him. I felt like I was starving for the dick. We went at it for about two hours. We would cum, rest for a few, and then, as soon as his dick got hard again, we were back at it again. I knew damn well the people next door had to hear the headboard banging. I didn’t give a damn. I was enjoying myself, and he was too.
After we were finished, we decided to take a shower together, and you’d think we’d be tired. Hell nah. He soaped my body up, and then he slid inside of me from the back. I’m not going to lie; this nigga knew how to satisfy every inch of my fucking body. We spent another twenty minutes in the shower, and then we got out.
We ordered something to eat and lay back and chilled. I thought he was trying to prove to me that he wasn’t with that girl. Truth be told, I wasn’t tripping off of that shit no more. At the end of the day, he was going to do him, and I was going to do me.
“Hey, babe, my husband is still threatening me. I swear, I cannot take any more from this man. The other day when you said you were going to finish him off, were you serious? I mean, when he beat me up the other day, you said you were going to get rid of him.”
“You serious?” He looked at me.
“Yes. I’m so serious. I’m tired of him threatening me and my girls’ lives. I want him out of my life, but I don’t want to get a divorce because most of the money belongs to me. I don’t want to give him a dime of my daddy’s hard-earned money.” I quickly caught myself.
“You’re tripping, B. I mean, you do know this is serious right?” he questioned in a serious tone.
“Yes, I’m a lawyer, so I do know the seriousness, but I’m tired of him beating on me. I’m scared I might kill him myself.”
“I need to think about this. I ain’t worried about killing no nigga, but this is your husband we’re talking about. You have history with this nigga, and he is your kids’ father.”
“I thought about that too, but he’s going to kill me. I can’t live like this anymore.” I burst out crying. “I wouldn’t ask you to do such a horrible thing if I didn’t need it done. I know I don’t have to worry about you telling anybody.”
“How soon are you talking about?”
“I want him gone as soon as possible.”
“A’ight, let me think on it. I ain’t got no problem finishing this nigga off. I just want to make sure you’re serious and won’t go back and say I did the shit.”
“I’m not no soft bitch. I would pull the trigger my-damn-self, but I know I’m the first person they would look at. I know what I want, and I know I’m tired of him trying to hurt me. If you decide not to kill him, then I will have to do it myself.” I cried some more.
“Nah, we wouldn’t want you to do that. I need you to be around to defend me. I can’t trust my case with nobody else. Like I said, let me think on this, and I will get back wit’cha. Do me a favor; don’t text or call me talking about this at all. You hear me?” he said, all serious and shit.
“Yes, I got it.” I sniffled.
I was jumping for joy inside. I didn’t know it was going to be this easy. I tell you, pussy is a powerful weapon. I knew I was going to have to play the part of the grieving wife. I didn’t give a fuck about my husband getting killed. I just didn’t want it to come back on me. God knows I couldn’t do a day in prison behind no bullshit. I knew Javon was a standup dude, and I knew he would lie down before he snitched on anyone. That kind of loyalty was rare but definitely what I needed.
We end up spending a few more hours together, and then I decided to go home. I had to fix a few things, so I decided to have a talk with Trent.
On the ride home, I started mapping out my plan in my head. I knew that I had to make sure I thought this out and that I was sure that this was what I wanted.
I walked upstairs and knocked on his bedroom door.
“Who is it?”
“It’s me. Open up!”
“Bitch, what the fuck do you want?” He leaned his head out the door.
“I just want to talk to you.”
“Talk to me? Why should I talk to you, bitch?”
I was sick of being called all these bitches, but I didn’t let it get to me; not this time, anyway. “Trent, please! I know we’ve been going through some things, and I know you probably hate me right now, but I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and I just feel like we need to talk.”
As soon as the words left my mouth, he opened the door and walked away. I walked inside of what smelled like straight ass and dirty dick. I sat at the edge of the bed, disgusted by the sight of the room. However, I didn’t say anything about it.
“Listen, Trent, when I married you it was for better or for worse. Yes, I was hurt when I walked in the room and saw you with that person. You crushed my heart. Trent, you’re my husband, my life partner, you’re my everything in this world. These past few weeks have been hard for me and, to make matters worse, you put your hands on me. I was shocked my husband was hurting me like this, but I’m willing to put it all behind us if you just try to understand where I’m coming from. Feel my pain. I would’ve never done this to you, Trent,” I cried.
“I told you over and over, I’m sorry. I was dead-ass wrong for bringing that guy up in here, but I’m a man, and I have needs. I can’t even touch you. You stopped having sex with me; you stopped talking to me. To be honest, I feel like you had another relationship out there. I got up many days and m
ade your breakfast, cleaned your bathroom, cleaned up the house. I played the bitch in here, trying to please you because I wanted my wife. But the more stuff I’m doing, the more you pulled away. Yes, I’m wrong as hell. I went out there, and I cheated on you. I shouldn’t have, and I know that it hurt you when you walked in on us having sex, but I just wanted you to give me a little bit of attention, just a little bit. Let me know you still love me. I want you to love me the way you used to love me. I don’t want no other bitch; I want my wife.”
I guess you only want niggas, I thought as I looked at this fool performing. “Look, Trent, let’s go to counseling and try to get us some help.”
He looked at me and took my hand. “You know how long I’ve wanted this? We can definitely go to counseling and get some help so we can get our marriage back on track.”
“I hope you’re serious because I can’t do this anymore. I’ve never cheated on you. You know even when you put your hands on me and accused me of being a slut, I never cheated on you, and I have no intention of it. So, you need to get rid of all them niggas, get a new phone, or whatever it is. Let these bitch niggas know that you and your wife are about to work on your marriage.”
He hugged me, and I squeezed him back. We ended up talking for a little bit longer, and I left the room. My stomach was sick from having to sit there and listen to his lies.
* * *
I was a strong woman, so I put on my big girl’s panties and played the loving wife. I had to let my husband know that I loved him, especially if it meant that he wasn’t going to be around for much longer. The next couple of days were family days. The girls were happy that their daddy and I were back talking and doing things as a family, just like old times. After the kids went to bed, we would sit up, drinking and talking. I would drink wine, and he would drink whiskey.
It came down to one Friday night. The kids were gone to their grandma’s house. He and I were home alone. He reached over and tried to kiss me. At first, my body tensed up, but I quickly caught myself. If I was playing the position, I had to play it all the way out. I allowed myself to kiss him back and, before I knew it, he was on his knees, eating my pussy. I tried with everything in me to enjoy it, but I couldn’t, so I started thinking about Javon and how good he ate my pussy. In no time, my pussy was wet, and Trent thought he was doing the damn thing. We ended up having sex, even though the shit was just as boring as it was before. I threw this pussy on him like my life depended on it.
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