I took a seat beside him by the bar. “Ay, let me get a shot of Henney,” I said to the bartender.
“So, what’s good, fam? How’s it looking on your end?” I asked.
“Shit don’t look good for real. I rapped with the lawyer today; she tried to get me a plea deal, but the motherfucking state is only offering a minimum of twenty-five years, and I would have to give them everything on you and take the stand on you, my nigga,” Mann-Mann said.
“Word!” I replied.
“I told that bitch to tell that nigga fuck him and to take that shit and blow it out his ass. I ain’t no motherfucking rat, plus you’re my motherfucking bro. Ain’t no rolling over, my nigga. Death before dishonor,” he responded.
If this shit were coming from another other nigga, I would say bullshit, but this nigga and I had been rolling since we were five years old. We done fucked bitches together, robbed niggas together, and made money together. I knew he loved me just as much as I loved him.
“My nigga, it’s sticky as fuck. I’m just betting on this bitch working her powers and shit to get me out. If I’m found guilty, I’ve got a few things to try to pull out.”
“I feel you, my nigga. My girl’s not taking it too good; she’s talking ’bout running and shit, but I can’t leave my seed and her for real. Yo, I forgot to ask you, what the fuck happened to that nigga, D. Drizzle?” he asked.
“I told you, it was death before dishonor. I popped up over there and burned that nigga.”
“But damn, dawg, you could’ve let the mama live, though.”
“I never told you I killed the mama. How did you know that?” I asked suspiciously.
“Oh, shoot, I think I caught that shit on the news. You know my girl is always watching the news.”
“Oh, okay.” I laughed. I was paranoid as fuck. “Hell nah. That bitch ran out there, so I ain’t have no choice but to murk her ass too. I would’ve been a fool if I let her live.”
“Yeah, true dat. I just can’t kill nobody’s mama. I’ve got a little heart in me.”
“Yo, fuck a heart. That bitch knew her son was a motherfucking rat.”
“Well, in that case, fuck that nigga and that bitch then.” He went back to sipping on his Heineken.
The rest of the night, we drank, smoked, and reminisced on good ol’ times. Happier times when we didn’t have any cares in the world. Them days were long gone now. Both of us were sitting and hoping things worked out in our favor. The more I thought about how much time I was facing, the more I drank.
At around 12:00 a.m., I was ready to bounce. It felt good to be out and about.
“A’ight, my nigga, be easy.”
“A’ight, bro, love you yo.” I gave him dap, and we both got into our cars.
I wasn’t in any shape to drive, but I wasn’t going to call Tania. It was too late for her to pack up the kids and come get me. I fumbled around and found my phone in my pocket. I started to call Malaya but instead decided to pop up over there. It was kind of strange that she wasn’t calling me every day like she used to.
I pulled into the driveway, and then I dialed her number. “Hello,” she whispered.
“Yo, I’m outside. Open the door.”
“What are you doing here? What time is it?”
“I ’ont know, shit. ’Bout one a.m.”
“We shouldn’t be doing this. It’s not safe.”
“Girl, chill out and open the door.” I hopped out of my car and stumbled to the front door.
She opened the door, and I walked in. “Why are you doing this? My kids are here,” she whispered.
“Baby, I had to see you. I miss you so much.” I grabbed her, pulled her closer, and stuck my tongue down her throat. She didn’t resist, so I knew then that she wanted this dick. “Baby, I want to fuck. Come ride this dick.”
“Be quiet. I don’t want my kids waking up.”
She led me into the basement where there was a couch. I wasted no time stripping her clothes off and throwing her on the couch backward. I dug my face into her pussy, sticking my tongue deep into her ass. I then sucked on her clit. I knew how to please her, and tonight was no different.
“Come ride this dick, baby.” I got up off of my knees and lay on the coach. Shawty wasted no time. She got on my rock-hard dick and squeezed her clit together as she slid up and down on my pipe. I felt the urge to bust, but I tried not to. I wanted to enjoy the feeling a little bit. She started to bounce real hard, and I grabbed her hips and pulled her down on my dick.
“Arrghhhh,” I growled loud as I exploded in her. “I fucking love you, ma. I love you,” I repeated myself. I held her down for a few more seconds, and then I loosened my grip. I was too tired and weak to move. I just lay there until I dozed off.
* * *
Malaya
Tomorrow was my husband’s funeral, so I was up late, making sure everything was in order. My mind was all over the place. Everything I heard made me jumpy. For some reason, in my crazy mind, I thought the police were watching my every move. Some might say I was acting like a guilty woman by getting an attorney, but I was a smart bitch. I knew how the system worked, and I wasn’t going to be railroaded into making a confession.
I allowed his mother to deal with the morgue. The bitch was happy to do so. I wasn’t paranoid or anything like that, but I didn’t want to deal with his dead ass at all. I paid the money, and she dealt with the rest of it.
This man lost his mind, popping up like that. I was kind of happy to see him, even though it was risky for him to come to the house. I tried to tell him no, but him being the dude he was, he wasn’t going for that. At all. I got up, threw my robe on, and tiptoed to the door. I was careful not to wake the girls up. They had a big day ahead tomorrow. Plus, Myesha didn’t need to see him in this house. She had been talking to her grandma, and God knows what she done planted in her head.
No matter how much I said I didn’t want to see this dude, or lied to myself that I didn’t want him, all that changed when we were face to face. His masculine scent did something major to my insides. When he started kissing me, I couldn’t resist. I wanted him; I wanted to feel him up inside of me. After everything that has been going on, I welcomed getting my clit sucked on and my pussy beat up. My pussy was thirsty for his dick, and I wasted no time devouring all nine inches with my pussy. I saw that he was enjoying himself, which motivated me to grind a little harder. I was also enjoying myself. My pussy muscles tightened as I came all over his dick. I was even more excited when his dick got larger, and his veins popped out. Without hesitation, he exploded inside of me. This was his first time fucking me without a condom and, I had to say, me feeling his skin inside of me made the sex so much more enjoyable.
He kind of threw me off when he told me he loved me. I turned my lips to say it back, but the words wouldn’t come out. I was never in love with him; I just loved the way he fucked me good. At this point in life, I didn’t really give a fuck about love. I needed a nigga who respected me and fucked me good. All that love shit isn’t what it’s hyped up to be.
I could see he was drunk because, about five minutes after sex, he was out. I took a blanket and threw it over him. I was going to let him lie there to kind of sleep off the alcohol, but his ass would have to go before the girls woke up.
I left him in the basement and took a shower. I also started prepping the food. My family would be here in the morning to help out. Even though it was under these circumstances, I was happy I was getting to see my mama and my sisters. I hated that they moved to Maryland and we barely saw each other.
* * *
I didn’t realize how tired I was until I jumped out of my sleep and looked at the time; it was 6:00 a.m. I jumped up off of the couch and ran downstairs.
“Javon, get up. Get up,” I said as I shook him.
“Huh? What?”
“Get up. You need to go before the girls get up.”
“Why? Shit, don’t you think it’s about time they meet me? I mean, we’ve been with each o
ther for a while now, and I ain’t met nobody in your family. Shit, let me find out I’m a secret.”
“It’s too early for your shit, Javon. My girls just lost their dad, so please have a little heart. And you’re nobody’s secret, but how the hell do you think it would look if I pop up with a man soon after my husband got killed? I see you don’t use your head. From now on, let me do the thinking.”
He didn’t respond. He sat up and grabbed his shoes. I walked up the stairs, and he followed me.
We were halfway to the door when Myesha stepped out in the hallway. “What is he doing in my daddy’s house? He spent the night here?” She stepped closer with her arms folded.
“Little girl, watch your damn mouth.”
“No, Mother. My daddy just got killed, and you’re already sleeping around; or were you sleeping around before he died? Which one is it, Mom?”
Slap! Slap! “Don’t you ever talk to me like that. Javon is a friend. He wasn’t feeling good and needed somewhere to chill for a few hours. You’re a child, so please play your position.”
“I hate you! I know you had Daddy killed! I hate you, Mother,” she said as she stormed off.
I opened the door, and we walked outside. “Yo, ma, my bad.”
“It’s fine. This was the reason why I told you we needed to be careful.”
He hugged me, and I walked back into the house. I stood at the counter, and I broke down. So far I’d been trying to hold everything together but, sometimes, it just got to be too much.
“Mama, you okay?” Nyesha’s voice startled me.
I quickly wiped my eyes and turned around, facing her. “Baby, I’m just missing your daddy. I wish he were still here with us. Your sister is accusing me of doing something to him.” I started to cry again.
* * *
A few hours later, the doorbell started to ring. I knew it was my mother and my sisters. I quickly opened the door. “Mamaaaaaaaaaaa,” I screamed as I hugged the woman who gave me birth and who was also my rock when I needed someone to lean on.
“Hey, baby. How are you?” She hugged me tight.
“Y’all come in,” I used my hand to call them all in.
“Hey, sissy. I miss you,” my little sister, Sophia, said.
“Hey, big sis.” I hugged my big sis.
“Where are the girls at?”
“Myesha and Nyesha, your grandma is here,” I yelled.
I ended up making breakfast, and we sat down at the table to eat. I sure missed those days when we were one big family. I stared at Mama. That woman had not aged one bit. When all of this was over, I thought I might try to move to Maryland with them.
* * *
The day was finally here when I got to say good-bye to Trent Ipswich. I never thought this day would come. When I married him, I thought we would grow old together. For the first part of our marriage, he was everything a woman dreamed of; but then his ass got comfortable and started fucking and sucking everything. My eyes got a little misty. I quickly dabbed them with my washcloth. I continued putting on my makeup.
I was dressed in a long Vera Wang gown with a pair of Jimmy Choo pumps. I knew it was a funeral, but I was pretty sure that some of these hoes he was fucking would be present, and I had a statement to make. I hated to sound conceited, but I would put money on it; I was the best thing that ever happened to him. His mama’s ass knew that, and I really thought that was the reason why that bitch didn’t like me. I wasn’t going to worry about what an irrelevant bitch thought of me. Her son was dead, and she ain’t have nothing coming to her but the measly twenty grand he left in his will for her. Everything else was left for his daughters and me. I was a lawyer, so life insurance was definitely up to date. Ain’t no way I was going to walk away from this without anything.
Everyone was already outside in the cars. I set the alarm and locked the door. I got in my car. Myesha decided to drive with her auntie, which was good because I wasn’t in the mood for that child. “You ready?” I said to Nyesha and rubbed her arm.
“I think I am,” she said and gave me a sad look.
“Baby, I love you. Just know that even though your daddy is gone, you will always have your mama.”
“I know, Mama, and I love you too.”
God, please help me to get through this day. All these fake-ass bitches up in here. The parking lot was already packed, which was expected because the entire police force was out, plus the surrounding police officers were out in full force. I parked and got out. I took my daughter’s hand, and we walked in together. I felt all eyes on me as we walked to the front. I held my head high and walked past them. I took my seat in the front, alongside my daughters. His mama and her family were sitting behind me. I didn’t turn back to acknowledge this bitch or her fucked-up-ass family. I just prayed that they stayed in their lane because I would hate it if she pushed me today and I had to show my ass off.
Rock of Ages, cleft for me,
Let me hide myself in Thee;
Let the water and the blood,
From Thy wounded side which flowed,
Be of sin the double cure;
Save from wrath and make me pure.
The hymn blasted through the church’s speakers. I got up and walked over to the casket. I looked down at Trent. I thought I would’ve felt some kind of way, but I didn’t. I bent down to the corpse, kissed him on the cheek, and whispered, “I love you, Trent, but I hope you rot in hell.” I couldn’t take the sight of him anymore, so I turned away and walked back to my seat. My head started feeling dizzy. “Trentttttttttttttt,” I screamed out before I collapsed on the floor.
I was conscious. I was just feeling weak, or was it that they were waiting for a performance so I had to deliver? “Get an ambulance,” I heard my mama yell.
“No, Mama; I’m good. I’m just a little weak. Just help me get to my seat please.”
Mama and Nyesha both held on to me as I walked to the pew. I glanced at his family before I sat down and I realized that them bitches didn’t even move an inch to check on me to see if I was fine. I sat down and started crying uncontrollably. I wasn’t crying over that bastard. I was crying tears of joy. Joy that I was no longer in prison. I was now a free, single woman.
This ceremony was torture. This pastor stood up preaching about what a good man Trent was. Mind you, this nigga never met my husband, and Trent was nothing close to what he was preaching. The worst part was when his mama got up there, talking about what a great man her son was. I mean, come the fuck on. What was so fucking great about a two-timing woman beater? I rolled my eyes at her; I didn’t give a fuck anymore. I was hoping for this charade to be over ASAP so I could get the fuck on with my life.
Finally, the funeral was over. His mama was in her feelings that I decided not to bury him beside his father in their family plot. Too bad. I was the motherfucking wife, and I called the shots. A few people walked up to me, paying their respects. I gladly thanked them for coming. I watched as the family exited the church. I stayed behind to thank the rental-pastor and also slide him $2,000 for a job well done.
I was about to exit the church when his mama stepped in my path. “You think you’re gonna get away with this, but you’re not. The police are on to you, and I will be right there when they arrest your ass.”
“Listen to me, you old bitch. Get the fuck out of my way before you end up joining your dead son. Be careful with those empty threats. It’s a wicked world out here.” I pushed her out of my way.
“Myesha told me about that man you had at the house. I will be passing on that info to the police,” she yelled as I stepped outside.
I was furious when she said that. That fucking daughter of mine was definitely getting on my last nerves. I should have found her and choked her grown ass, but I decided to wait until after the funeral.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Javon
My court case was steadily coming up. I ain’t goin’ to lie; a nigga was kind of nervous. See, in these streets, I was the motherfucking nigga; but up in
the courtroom, these cracker niggas were in control. I was going in here like a real nigga, and I was gonna fight until the end.
I dialed my partner’s number, but his phone went straight to voicemail. I hung the phone up, but something about it was bothering me. I hadn’t heard from him since the day we kicked it, which was a few days ago. When I stopped by the spot yesterday, he wasn’t there, and the niggas claimed they hadn’t heard from him either. Man, I hoped my nigga was a’ight. I knew he was under a lot of pressure, but I didn’t think it was anything major.
I busted a U-turn and headed toward his house. Thoughts of suicide popped in my head, but I quickly dismissed them because my nigga was a thoroughbred. I knew he wasn’t no weak nigga. I kind of felt guilty bringing him into these streets, but there was no one else I felt like I could trust.
I pulled up at his crib and quickly noticed furniture sitting on the curb. I parked and got out. I walked to the side where his Magnum was usually parked, but it was gone, and his girl’s car was not there. I turned to walk away, but something told me to walk up on the porch. There were no curtains in the window. I peeped inside and was alarmed when I saw that the place was empty. This was really strange because he bought this house about two years ago. Where did my nigga go? And why didn’t he tell me he was moving?
Confused and kind of thrown off, I walked back to my car. I saw the next-door neighbor raking up his leaves, so I hopped out of the car and jogged toward him. “Ay, my man, I was looking for my partner, Mann-Mann, but it seems like they moved.”
“I was thinking the same thing; they kind of moved suddenly. One night, my wife woke me up because there were some noises coming from next door. I grabbed my gun and peeped out the window. That’s when I saw them moving things into a big U-Haul truck. So, I figured they sold the house.”
“A’ight. Thank you, man,” I said and walked off.
I was thrown off by everything. This was my brother from another mother. None of this shit made sense. I scrolled through my phone and pulled up his girl’s number.
“You’ve reached a number that’s either been disconnected or changed. If you feel like you’ve reached this recording in error, please dial again.”
Falling for My Side Dude Page 9