His hand goes to the back of my neck and the other around my waist. I expect him to kiss me, but instead, he just pulls my head into his naked chest and the rest of me tighter against him.
We stand there for a long time with our arms wrapped around each other. I want to ask what he’s thinking, but I’m too afraid to break the moment. Instead, I listen to the sound of his heart beating rhythmically against my ear as I memorize the thud and double beat along with the way his chest feels when it expands against my cheek. This is a moment I know I can recall the next time I need comfort.
“When I get home, we have a date.”
“Maybe.”
I smile as I hear his low growl. “I’m not even pissed that you wanna fuck with me right now.” He pulls my head away from his chest, his hands go around my neck, and his thumbs slide under my jaw, tilting my head back. His mouth lowers and my eyes start to flutter closed. “Every time you fuck with me, it makes me wanna fuck you. One day, we’re going to get to a point in our relationship where you’ll say something to set me off and I’ll bend you over right where you stand and punish you for misbehaving or talking back.”
My clit starts to pulse. I can feel my breathing increase, my chest meeting his on each deep inhale. He closes the gap between us, his lips touching mine. When his tongue touches my bottom lip, my eyes close and I get lost in his kiss. By the time he pulls his mouth from mine, I’ve never hated clothes more than I do right now. I have the urge to take off my sweatshirt and plaster my chest against his.
“I gotta shower,” he says, resting his forehead on mine.
“Sure.” I nod, my eyes still closed.
He chuckles and shakes his head against mine. “If you don’t wanna come shower with me, baby, you need to hop off.”
I open my eyes, seeing that my fingers have somehow gotten tangled into his hair and my legs have wrapped around his waist. I bite my bottom lip, place my hands on his shoulders, unwrap my legs, and hop down. “Sorry.” I shake my head, trying to clear my needful haze.
“Don’t apologize.” He kisses my nose then forehead. “I’ll be back down to say goodbye before I leave.”
“Okay.” I nod again.
His hand goes to his chest then runs down his abs. My eyes follow its movement until they drop lower, seeing his very apparent erection outlined through his sweats. My eyes get big and lift to his when he starts to laugh.
“Jesus, you’re cute.” He shakes his head, running a hand down his face. “I gotta go before you end up on the counter.” His voice sounds deeper than normal, and I nod again. “Baby, you gotta move,” he says, his hands fisting at his sides.
My gaze drops to his hands before shooting back up to his eyes when he growls. I don’t know what’s going on, but I immediately step aside so he can get out of the kitchen. I watch him walk away, his head bent as he mumbles something under his breath.
“Coffee,” I whisper to myself.
*
I pull up to the house, seeing a strange car parked out front. My pulse starts to speed up as I wonder who it could be. Kenton messaged me when I was at work, letting me know that he had arrived at his destination safely. I didn’t ask where he was; I figured that, if he wanted me to know, he would tell me. I worry that he’s in danger, and maybe his leaving has something to do with my situation. I don’t want him hurt because of me, but I trust that he knows what he’s doing. After all, he’s been doing it for years without incident.
I slowly pull into the driveway, trying to angle the car in case I need to make a quick escape. As soon as I’m able to see the front porch, I spot Justin sitting on the top step with a black duffel bag at his side and his head bent towards his phone. His head comes up when I get out of the car and slam the door.
“Hey ya, roomie,” he says, giving me a goofy smile.
“Roomie?” I ask, looking at the bag next to him and then noticing the sleeping bag he has along with it.
“Yep. Boss man told me to stay here with you,” he says, pointing a finger at me while standing. “I’m here until he gets home.”
“That’s not necessary.” I start shaking my head frantically. Justin seems like a nice kid, but I’m not sure I can deal with him for more than a few minutes without wanting to strangle him.
“Aw, come on! It’s going to be a great time. If you’re nice, I’ll let you paint my nails. I even brought my own color,” he says, pulling a bottle of black nail polish out of his pocket.
“I’m not painting your nails,” I huff out, wondering why the hell he would be carrying it around with him in the first place.
“Okay, you don’t have to. I can do it myself.” He shrugs, putting the bottle back in his pocket before bending down to pick up his bags.
“You don’t need to stay here,” I repeat.
“Have you met my boss?” He raises an eyebrow. “He is scary. If he calls and says, ‘Justin, I need you to stay with Autumn until I get home,’ I say, ‘Okay, no problem, boss man.’”
“No offense, but I think I’m just as safe alone as I would be with you. Actually, I think I’m better off on my own. If you’re here, I have to worry about both of us.”
“You should never judge, sweet cheeks. I was a sniper. I know how to kill someone with one finger, and I guarantee nothing will happen to you while I’m here.”
Wow, okay. Didn’t see that coming. So I’m probably safer with him, but I still don’t want him here. “I think I should call Kenton,” I tell him, pulling out my cell.
“He’s gone to ground,” he singsongs.
“What does that mean?”
“It means he is unavailable until he’s available.”
“But what if you need to talk to him? What if I need to talk to him?”
“If there’s an emergency and he needs to get back here, there’s a code,” he says conspiratorially.
“What’s the code?” I ask, watching as he pulls out a set of keys from his pocket, opening the front door.
“No way, sweet cheeks. You don’t need to know the code.”
“What is it?” I put my hands on my hips, glaring at him.
“I can’t tell ya.” He shrugs, stepping into the house, and as soon as he’s inside, he turns, grabs my arm, and drags me with him. “Now, boss man said I have to be on my best behavior and to not say anything stupid or try anything on you…unless I want to see what it feels like to be neutered. I thought that was taking things a little too far, but he didn’t feel the same.” He smiles, walking into the living room to set his bags down. “Also, I’m sorry to say you’re going to have to keep your hands to yourself and control the urge to molest me.” He flexes his arms, and I close my eyes and groan.
“I’ll try to control myself,” I say, opening my eyes, wondering if there is a way out of this. I’m going to kill Kenton.
“That would be appreciated. I wish things were different, but I like my balls just the way they are. Plus, I don’t think you want to explain to my mom why I can’t give her grandchildren.”
Oh, God. Maybe I should make a move on him to save the world from him reproducing. “I need to go to bed,” I tell him, shaking my head.
“I’ll be here.” He pulls out some kind of gaming console from his bag and sets it on the coffee table. Then he pulls out a controller and some wires, but what I don’t see are clothes.
I watch him for a few minutes as he connects the system to the TV, and after he has everything hooked up, he sits down on the couch, pulls out a pair of headphones that have a mic, puts them on, and then turns on the game.
The second it loads, the loud sound of guns firing fills the room and men wearing camo appear on the screen. I look at the TV then at Justin and shake my head before leaving the room. I don’t care if Kenton has gone to ground; I need to text him to let him know that I’m going to kill him when he gets home. Then I need to go to bed. I go upstairs, pull out my phone, and send Kenton a text.
Me: I hope you make it home safely so I can kill you when you get here.
Kenton: Sweet dreams, baby.
That’s it? He didn’t even address my threat. I huff out a breath, shake my head, toss the phone onto the bed, and pick it right back up to send another text.
Me: Ditto.
I hit send then feel stupid, wondering if I should’ve just left it alone.
I wake up in complete darkness for the second morning in a row. My first thought is Kenton. I miss not having him hold me. I don’t know how it’s possible to miss sleeping with someone after only having it for a few nights, but I do. I stretch out and look at the clock. It’s three thirty. I need to get up, send some e-mails, and pay a few bills before I have to get ready for work.
I got an e-mail back from Sid the other day, and I could tell even through e-mail that he was upset I hadn’t called him. Link also told me that I should try not to have too much contact with anyone in Vegas. He’s worried I could somehow be tracked. I think this is a little over the top, but what do I know?
I don’t miss home as much as I thought I would. I really don’t miss my old life at all. I know that Link can tell that I’m thinking about moving to Tennessee. The last time I spoke with him, he told me that he would be willing to have my stuff packed up and sent out to me if that’s what I want. The idea of making this my permanent home is exciting and scary. I just want to make the right choice.
I get out of bed and pull on a pair of sweats before opening my door. The first things I hear are explosions and yelling coming from the living room below. I slept for over eight hours, and I wonder if Justin sat downstairs playing that game the whole time. Then I wonder how the hell he’s supposed to ‘look out for me’ when he probably wouldn’t hear if someone were to break down the front door.
“I made coffee!” Justin yells over the TV as soon as I make it to the bottom landing. I wonder how the hell he heard me when the stairs didn’t even squeak. “Told you—you are safe with me,” he teases loudly as soon as I finish my thought.
I shake my head and walk into the living room, seeing that the whole space is covered with food wrappers and open bottles of soda. I have no idea how he consumed so much food in such a short amount of time. I take a seat next to him on the couch, pull a bag of Doritos from the coffee table to my lap, shove my hand in the bag, pull out a handful, and stuff my face.
“What game is this?” I ask through a mouthful while watching a guy get his head blown off.
“Call of Duty,” he mumbles. “These fuckers are campin’!” he shouts into the mic while the guy on the screen looks around him, trying to find whoever is shooting at him.
Before I know it, I’m yelling at the TV every time Justin gets shot at. I get so lost in the game that I don’t even realize how late it is until I look at the clock and see that it’s already after eight at night and I haven’t done anything with my day besides eat junk food and lie on the couch.
“I gotta get ready for work,” I tell Justin.
He grunts and nods. I get up and go to the office to get online. After I pay my bills, I check my e-mail, and the first one is from Sid.
Angel,
There is so much I should have told you, so many things I should have said. I want to hear your voice. Please call me. My number hasn’t changed.
XX Sid
I close my eyes and lay my forehead against the desk. I do not want to deal with this, but I know I need to let Sid know that there’s nothing between us and never will be. I feel bad, but I know I’ll feel worse if I let him believe even for a second that I felt anything for him.
“What’s going on?”
I lift my head and look at Justin, who is standing in the open doorway of the office.
“Nothing.”
“It’s something,” he says, coming in and setting a cup of coffee down on the desk in front of me as he takes a seat and raises an eyebrow.
“Thanks.” I take a drink of the coffee and sigh with happiness.
“So, what’s going on?” he repeats, and I know there is no way he is going to let it go.
“My old boss sent me an e-mail and wants me to call him.”
“That’s nice,” he says, leaning back in the chair.
“I think he believes there’s something between us,” I say quietly, shaking my head.
“Boss man won’t like that.” He smiles, rubbing his eyes.
“Kenton won’t care.”
“I beg to differ, sweet cheeks.” He shrugs. “I’ve known Kenton for a long time and have seen plenty of women come and go—”
“I don’t want to know this,” I cut him off, feeling a ball of jealousy beginning to form in the pit of my stomach.
“Do you want to know how many times I came to stay when Cassie was living here and Kenton went out of town?”
“No.”
“Do you want to know how many times he asked the guys to swing by her job to check on her or any of the other women he’s been with?”
“No,” I repeat again, that warm feeling settling in.
“Do you know how many women he’s become possessive over?”
“No,” I whisper.
“The answer to all of the above is zero. You are the first woman to have him tied in fucking knots, and I know you’re going to say it’s because he’s looking out for you, but I guaran-fucking-tee it that’s not the reason.”
“Please don’t say anything else,” I mumble.
“Why are all women the same?” He shakes his head, running a hand through his long hair. “Women are always talking about how men are so afraid to commit when the truth is you guys send the most fucking confusing signals. One minute, you want us, and the next, you’re running away.”
I raise an eyebrow and he shakes his head again.
“E-mail your boss and let him down easy. If you don’t and Kenton finds out about him, he will let him know and won’t be nice about it.”
“I think you’re blowing this out of proportion.”
“You think so?” He smiles and gives a small, humorless laugh. “Kenton had one of his best friends by the throat for calling you a sweet piece a few days after they saw you at the hospital. It took three dudes to pull Kenton off him. I’ve never seen him react like that over a female.”
I have no idea what to do with that information. I’m not even sure I want to know what all of that means exactly.
Justin continues. “All I’m sayin’ is whether you want to be or not, you’re his, and he won’t like your ex-boss sniffing around.”
“Did you beat the game?” I ask, trying to change the subject.
“You never beat Call of Duty.” He smiles then looks out the window.
“Have you heard from him today?” I ask softly, thinking about everything he just told me and really wanting to talk to Kenton. I want to know that he’s okay. I really want him to know that I’m thinking about him and miss sleeping with him.
“Not after your text last night, though I’m surprised he messaged you back. But that only proves my point—you’re the exception.”
“You know I sent him a text?” I ask, surprised and slightly annoyed while ignoring everything else he just said.
“His phone goes thorough my computer. I get all his messages. It’s easier than waiting for him to send me the info I need. In this business, a second can mean the difference between landing a case and getting hurt.” He stands up and leans on the side of the desk.
I don’t want him hurt, so I’m glad they’re taking every precaution necessary. Then I wonder what kind of texts Kenton gets daily where he needs that kind of precaution.
“Oh God,” I whisper in horror when I realize that Justin probably saw my drunken texts to Kenton. “Do you read all h
is personal messages?”
He smiles and nods. “Yeah. The ones from his mom are the best.” He starts to laugh, and I can only imagine the kinds of texts Nancy sends Kenton. I’m sure they’re something like, Did you eat your vegetables? Are you taking your vitamins? Do you have clean socks and underwear?
“I like Nancy.”
“She likes you too,” he says softly, making me wonder what he knows.
I look away and try to swallow the lump in my throat.
“I’m gonna go back out and finish my game while you send your e-mail.”
“Sure.” I try to smile, but I know that it’s one that doesn’t meet my eyes. I wiggle the mouse around until the screen lights back up and press reply on Sid’s e-mail.
Sid,
I don’t want you to think that I haven’t appreciated you or your friendship over the last few years. I also don’t want you to think that I don’t care about you, but I don’t think we have anything else to talk about.
I wish you all the best,
Autumn
I press send and hope that he understands. I know he may think that he cares about me or wants a relationship with me, but I’ve had a front-row seat to Sid’s dating life over the last few years, and if he really wanted something serious with me, I doubt he would’ve paraded all of those women in front of me.
I close down the computer and yell to Justin as I’m passing the living room that I’m going to get ready for work. He says something back that I don’t really understand due to the loud sounds coming from the TV.
*
Kenton
“Fuck, man. Good to see you,” Link says as soon as he spots me when I exit the airport.
I pull him in for a one-armed hug and pat him on the back, and he does the same before we separate. He pops the trunk for his SUV. I toss my duffel bag in and then walk around and climb into the passenger’s seat.
“I wish you were here under different circumstances,” he says, running a hand over his head and using the other to start up the car.
“Me too, brother.” I pull out my phone and see a message from Justin letting me know that he’s at the house and Autumn is home safe from work. I don’t think it’ll be long before she messages me, telling me off about Justin being there.
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