“Noooooo… oooooowwwwwwwwwww! Oooooooowwwwwwwwwwwww!”
“How many tickets have you had?”
“This wasn’t a ticket! It was just a warning!”
Bad thing to point out. The next sound I heard was the bath brush connecting with my tush!
“Oooowwwwwwwwwwww!”
“Did you or did you not get pulled over for speeding?”
“I did… I did!”
“How many times have you been pulled over for the same thing?”
Now that was a loaded question. No way was I answering that!
“I’ve gotten twenty-nine tickets!” I yelled as the brush continued to make searing contact.
“That in itself is unacceptable! I’d better not hear of you ever getting pulled over again. Unless it’s because you’re going too slow!”
The brush came down to punctuate each and every word.
“Yes, sirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrroooooowwwwwwooooooowwwww!” I wailed.
He brought the brush down again and again to make sure he got his point across before finally turning me in his arms and holding me close to his chest.
“I love you, but I will not tolerate such reckless behavior.”
I sniffed and sobbed my apologies into his chest.
“I mean it, Shannon, if this ever comes up again, you simply won’t drive.”
“Landon, I have to drive!” I sat straight up in his lap.
He pinned me with his commanding eyes. “I’m telling you if I ever find out you’ve been speeding again, you won’t. It’ll be the bus, a bicycle, or walking.”
He was totally serious. “But Landon…”
“I mean it, Shannon. I’ll have your license revoked if that’s what it takes.”
I slumped against him with a nod as I practiced my new mantra in my head. “The cruise control is my friend… the cruise control is my friend… the cruise control is my friend…”
Sex, Spanking, and the Married Woman
Our wedding was beautiful. Everything I could have ever hoped for. My sister and her kids, Landon’s family, friends, and even Sebrina and Ryan came all the way from Pennsylvania.
I was now Mrs. Landon Bridges; I smiled as I walked into the reception hall on my husband’s arm. Everything was absolutely perfect!
Well, except Landon’s great aunt Gertrude; she was a bit of a battleax who always managed to make me feel like a misbehaving dog that just peed on the carpet. Landon’s mother, Helen, had already warned me the relationship wouldn’t improve.
“I still fully expect to be whacked with a newspaper one day,” Helen had confided to me as she and my sister helped me into my wedding dress.
I hadn’t said anything but I did wonder if Landon’s proclivity for corporal punishment ran in the family.
I’d determined to stay as far away from Aunt Gert as I could manage. Of course, that was the first person Landon led me up to after entering the banquet hall.
“Aunt Gertie!” he said enthusiastically as he leaned down to hug her. “I’m so glad to have you here to share this day with us.”
Aunt Gert hugged Landon back and patted him in a commiserating way. “My dear boy. Are you sure she isn’t pregnant?”
I gasped. The old bat!
“Now Aunt Gertie, I already told you Shannon isn’t pregnant. We plan to wait a while before having a family,” he explained.
Gert sighed and studied me like a bug that just walked across her freshly mopped floor. “Well, I suppose if you love her… we’ll just have to deal with it.”
“Aunt Gertie, please don’t be rude to my wife. I do love her and I know once you get to know her, you will too.”
This time both Gert and I looked at Landon like he’d lost his mind. I was done; with a small polite smile at the Queen of the Damned, I went up on my tiptoes to kiss Landon’s cheek. “Honey, I see Seb and Ryan… I need to go say hi.”
“Okay, honey, I’ll catch up in a minute.”
I hurried away from Landon and Elvira and quickly found Seb and Ryan.
“Babe! The wedding was so beautiful! You looked fabulous… I love that dress… I…”
I grabbed her arm, smiled at Ryan, and pulled her away. “I have to talk to you.”
“What’s wrong, babe?” Seb asked in concern.
“Great Aunt Gert is horrid!”
“Come on, babe, she can’t be that bad!” Seb said with a laugh.
“She just asked Landon again if I was pregnant!”
“You’ve got to be kidding me!” Sebrina yelled, outraged on my behalf.
“I know she’s an old…”
“Shhhh… babe…” Sebrina hissed at me.
“Battleax!”
“I think Sebrina was trying to let you know I’m standing behind you, Shannon,” Landon said directly in my ear.
I jumped about a foot and spun to face him. “I’m sorry, honey. She just hurt my feelings.”
Landon grinned at me as he leaned down to kiss me. “I know, baby. I’m sorry. Aunt Gertie can be difficult but I love her; can you try to tolerate her for me?”
Well, when he put it that way, I beamed up at the love of my life. “Of course I will!”
Landon smiled and led me out onto the dance floor. We’d decided to wait until the summer to take our honeymoon trip. He’d finally spilled and told me we were going on a cruise in the Mediterranean Sea with several ports of call I’d always wanted to see. Since it was such a big trip, we both needed to save some vacation time.
Tonight we’d just go back home, but I expected it to still be quite an interesting night.
Later, not long before I was supposed to throw the bouquet, Seb came up behind me and whispered urgently, “Danger, Will Robinson! Danger!”
I blinked. “What?”
“They’re talking! Ryan and Landon have been over there in that corner talking for thirty minutes!”
Looking over to where Seb was frantically pointing, I felt my stomach clench nervously. Landon and Ryan seemed to be discussing something very seriously, heads bent close together as they conferred.
“This can’t be good,” I said softly.
“Babe, you have no idea!”
Of the same mind, we rushed toward our husbands, hoping to head off a disaster of epic proportions for both of us. The last thing either one of us needed was our like-minded husbands comparing notes. I was pretty sure Landon knew a few things Seb wouldn’t want Ryan privy to and vice versa.
“Honey, I’m about to throw the bouquet,” I said, pulling Landon away with the sweetest, butter-wouldn’t-melt-in-my-mouth smile possible.
Landon looked at me suspiciously. “What have you been up to?”
“Nothing,” I said with a grin; I winced when I heard Seb echo me from across the room.
“Mmmmmmm,” he said while giving me the cop look.
“Honey, honestly, what would I be up to on our wedding day?”
Thankfully Landon seemed to take my words at face value and followed me over to where the bouquet and boutonniere toss were about to take place.
* * *
“Baby, that’s so sexy,” Landon’s gravelly voice sent shivers down my spine as he studied me standing in front of him in the white bustier and garter belt I’d been wearing under my dress. “I can’t believe you went commando under your wedding dress, what a naughty girl you are.”
I grinned at him; this was exactly the response I’d been hoping for when I’d decided against the white wedding panties.
“You know what happens to naughty girls, don’t you, baby?” he asked as one broad palm skimmed across my naked bottom.
“They get ice cream?” I asked with a grin, squealing when that hand suddenly clapped loudly off my backside.
“You know better than that, young lady,” Landon said sternly. “Tell me what happens to naughty little girls who forget to wear their panties.”
“They get spanked on their bare bottoms,” I said a little breathlessly.
“That’s right. Naughty girls get th
eir bare bottoms spanked hot and red,” he said as he pulled me down over his waiting lap.
Almost immediately his hand began to fall in a rhythm as old as time; he carefully stoked the fire in my bottom, alternately spanking and rubbing it until I was lifting my hips to meet every spank.
Occasionally, his fingers would ghost across the tender area between my thighs that was hot, wet, and aching for his attentions, shooting my arousal even higher.
“Please… oh, Landon… please,” I whimpered, opening my thighs wide, begging for a firmer touch. I yelped when three of his fingers clapped off my vulva in a stinging swat. The heat quickly morphed to pleasure as he struck again and again, then delivered three hard ones directly to my swollen clit.
“Landon!” I came crying his name, then cried out again when two long fingers sank deep into my heat.
As his fingers worked my still convulsing channel, he began to spank my sore ass again in time with each thrust of his fingers.
Soon I was mindless with pleasure, bucking over his knee and begging for more. “Harder! Please, ohh… yes… harder… more!”
The last volley of slaps to my sit spots brought tears to my eyes as I opened my legs even wider, beseechingly.
Then Landon was lifting me to the bed on all fours and he was there, his cock sinking home with one hard thrust. He rode me hard, withdrawing almost to the tip of his cock before driving back inside hard and fast. I came screaming his name again after the fourth thrust, but still he continued driving into me relentlessly, raising me to another peak before I crested from the first.
All I could do was press my chest and face to the bed as I took everything he had to give. I lost count of how many orgasms he gave me before he shuddered against me as he pressed his face into the back of my neck.
I was a limp noodle beneath him, my limbs still shaking and shivering from the aftermath of the intensity of my orgasms.
Landon pressed another kiss to my neck before pulling free of me and lifting me to sit as he quickly stripped the rest of the clothes from my quivering body.
He lifted my chin to kiss me, his tongue sliding deep and tangling with mine, I sighed as he pulled back and softly kissed my lips. “I love you, baby.”
“I love you too,” I said softly, looking into the eyes of my husband and feeling like the luckiest woman in the world.
Little did I know my dear husband planned to rock my world less pleasantly the next day.
* * *
“You talked to who!?” I think my heart stopped.
“Ryan, you know, Sebrina’s husband.”
“I know who Ryan is!”
“Then you know who I talked to.”
“Oh, my god, this isn’t happening! I can’t believe you went online and talked to Ryan! You’re afraid of the computer, for god’s sake!”
“I am not afraid of the computer; besides, we talked at the reception, though I have spoken to him online before.”
“What did he say?” I chewed my bottom lip worriedly, sure that whatever Ryan had to say to Landon, it wouldn’t bode well for my hindquarters.
“Well… we talked about the ticket issue.”
I felt my face blanch. Ryan had made his opinion crystal clear about my driving on more than one occasion. I crossed my fingers and hoped he hadn’t shared it with Landon.
“He pointed out that you have been warned time and time again. You’ve been warned and fined by the police, warned by me, and even by Ryan himself before we met. All to no avail. He’s right, more drastic consequences are called for. So, you won’t be driving for the next six months. After six months you can drive again, but if you ever get another warning, much less a ticket, I’ll take the keys permanently.”
“I can’t drive for six months? Are you crazy?”
“Lower your voice. No, I’m not crazy and you will not get behind the wheel of a car for six months.”
“How am I supposed to get to work?”
“Well, Ryan had a very helpful suggestion about that too.”
I scowled. “I’m sure he did.”
I watched in disbelief as Landon wheeled in a big bicycle. “You can’t be serious!”
“This is yours and I got the extra wide seat so you would be more comfortable.”
“What do you mean you got the extra wide seat!”
“It’s called an extra wide seat. It’s more comfortable when riding long distances. I wasn’t making a remark about your bottom. I love your butt.”
“I won’t ride it!”
“Shannon…”
“I won’t do it. You can’t take my keys! I… I… I revolt! I am my own woman! In charge of my own destiny! I am queen of my castle! I…”
I was looking at the floor!
“Ooowwwwwwwwwwoooooo! Landon, wait! I’m sorry! I got carried away!”
“You will not drive for six months. You will sedately ride your bicycle to and from work. I don’t want to hear another word about it. And remember, if you’re the queen of this castle, I am certainly the king. Savvy?”
I sniffled as Landon stood me on my feet before him once again, and I reached a hand back to rub my throbbing bottom.
“Yes, sir.”
“Good. Now, let’s go try out the new bikes. I got one too. I want to make sure you understand bicycle safety before I turn you loose.”
I glared at Landon’s back as I followed him out the door. Great! I get to break in the new bike with a sore butt!
I winced at the thought and rubbed my poor backside. This was going to be a hard six months!
Of Floods and Bicycles
I frowned as I parked my bicycle with the extra wide seat under a tree in front of the police station.
“Stupid bicycle!” I gave it a kick for good measure before going inside.
Landon and I had arranged to meet for lunch. It was my first day with my new wheels and so far it had been fairly uneventful. I’d promised myself and Landon that I would try to stay out of trouble.
Try being the operative word. I’d explained to Landon on more than one occasion that it’s generally not my fault. Honest! Trouble just finds me. It’s not as if I go looking for it.
Anyway, I found Landon almost as soon as I walked in the door.
He had a handcuffed man with him.
“Landon! I’m ready for lunch!”
“I’m gonna be a few minutes, honey. Just sit over there by the water cooler and wait for me, okay?”
“Okay,” I sighed as Landon led off the shackled man. I wondered what he’d done, and then I sat down and picked a magazine up off the table in the sitting area. It was Law Enforcement Weekly or something like that. Would it hurt to have at least one issue of Cosmo on the table for guests to read?
I thumbed through the pages, not really paying much attention. I mean, who wants to read about the bust of the month or whether to Glock or not to Glock.
Really, I couldn’t have cared less!
“I’m telling you, Jon, she answered the door stark naked!”
Now that was interesting! I cocked my head and leaned back in my chair as far as I could in order to better hear about the naked lady.
Unfortunately I leaned back a little too far and only just barely managed not to do a backward somersault out of the chair.
I clunked the chair down and the magazine fell to the floor as I righted myself.
I must have made a lot of noise because when I looked up in relief with both feet firmly in front of me, both of the detectives were looking at me.
I felt my face get really hot. “Sorry… I was so engrossed in what you were… I mean in what I was reading that I fell out of the chair. Is it hot in here? It must be me. I rode my bicycle over and I got a little overheated.”
I felt my face grow even hotter as they just stared at me. What? You’d think they’d never seen a woman who wasn’t in handcuffs!
“I… er… I think I’ll just go get a drink of water while I wait for Landon.”
They both nodded politely at me.
I hurried toward the water cooler and away from temptation. Who wouldn’t have listened?
“Drat!”
The water cooler was almost completely empty. There wasn’t even enough to be worth the effort.
I looked down and saw the full Ozarka bottle. I could wait for Landon and just get a drink at lunch.
Those men were probably all waiting for someone else to put the new bottle in. Just like with toilet paper. They were probably trying to wait each other out. The poor dears.
They worked so hard. They needed to have quick access to refreshment when they wanted it. I knew I should help. It was my civic duty!
I lifted the empty bottle off the little cooler. No problem! This would be easy smeasy!
I peeled the plastic seal off the fresh bottle and hunkered down in front of it to get a good grip. I stood with the full bottle in my arms and swayed to the right, then back to the left. It was really very heavy.
I took baby steps to the cooler, swaying back and forth the whole way under the weight of the bottle. Then I took a deep breath and went for the swift lift, tip, and plunge move. Unfortunately I made a premature plunge and water gushed down my legs and all over the floor.
It took me three tries, but I finally managed to get the bottle over the lip of the cooler base into its slot. It seemed much lighter by the third try.
“Shannon!”
I jumped and blinked up at Landon. “Don’t scare me like that! What?”
“How can you ask what? Look at the floor, look at you!”
I frowned down at the floor. Whoops! It did sort of resemble a small lake and my pants looked like I’d had a major accident. But at least I’d put fresh water out for the boys in blue.
Then I took a closer look. There was about the same amount of water in this bottle that had been in the first. Added together it might have filled a thimble.
“Dammit! All the water ran out!” I yelled the obvious at Landon.
Landon glared at me and went to get some paper towels. My lake was rapidly headed for the stairs.
Just then the chief of police came out of his office and hit the lake.
Did you know people could hydroplane just like cars? I didn’t either!
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