As she walked, she stole covert glances at Corbin who lounged casually in one of the chairs next to Gwynn, appearing completely at ease with his surroundings. So much had changed since she’d left to find Bree and Declan. Each time she looked at him, it was a shock to her system. She’d left the compound convinced that she’d never see him again. She’d never hear his voice or see his gray eyes sparkle with laughter at one of their inside jokes. Corbin. So much of her life was tied up in memories of him. She’d said goodbye the day she left and now he was here, very much alive. He wasn’t the same man, though. Something had changed in him and Sawyer hated the emptiness in his eyes when he looked her way. She wished Rowan were here to dispel the tension, but he’d left with Conrad. He drove everyone crazy at times, always joking when the situation called for seriousness, but right now, she could use some lightness.
She caught Gwynn’s eye as she passed her a third time. Gwynn gave her a comforting smile as if to reassure her that everything was going to be okay. With some difficulty, Sawyer managed to make her mouth turn up at the corners in some semblance of a smile. Just then, the door clicked open and her attention shifted to Lydia standing there, a smile on her face. She was looking at Bree, but Sawyer stepped forward quickly.
“Lydia,” she said. “Can I please go next?” She tried to use her eyes to convey the seriousness of her request. Lydia’s smile wavered, but didn’t disappear. She gave Sawyer an assessing look before nodding and moving aside to let her walk through the door. As soon as it closed behind her, Sawyer began to speak.
“I’m sorry, Lydia,” she said quickly. “I should have told you months ago, but I made a promise and I wasn’t in my right mind back then. Then I left so soon after…” her voice trailed off as she thought of the days after Corbin’s injury. She shook her head as the memories tried to crowd her mind. “Just know that I’m sorry. I hope you’ll forgive me.”
Lydia looked at Sawyer in confusion. She didn’t know what Sawyer was talking about but she could sense the other woman’s nervousness and it heightened her own unease. “Sawyer, what are you trying to tell me?” she asked, her voice wary.
Sawyer sighed and pushed hair off her face, not meeting Lydia’s gaze. “Rafe is alive,” she said quietly. The silence between them stretched and Sawyer finally raised her eyes to Lydia’s face. The other woman had gone pale, her eyes narrowed in confused shock as she began to shake her head.
“No,” she said, her voice adamant. “No. He died. Rafe died almost 8 years ago.” Her gaze grew hard in an expression that people rarely saw on Lydia Wilks’s face. “My husband is dead.”
Sawyer shook her head quickly. “Lydia, I don’t know what happened back then. I wasn’t even an active agent yet. But I know that Rafe is alive. Jon would be dead if I hadn’t called Rafe to come heal him.” As soon as the words left her mouth, Sawyer wished she could take them back.
“Called him?” Lydia’s voice was tinged with shock and hurt. “What do you mean you called him?”
Sawyer put her hands up. “It’s not like that, Lydia.”
Lydia looked as though she’d been struck. “Have you been keeping this from me for all these years?”
“No,” Sawyer said quickly. “Let me explain. That’s why I needed to talk to you first. I needed you to hear it from me before someone else. Please. Just hear me out,” she pleaded. Sawyer could tell that Lydia had more to say, but she closed her mouth and waited for Sawyer to speak.
“The night we lost Liam and Tess, the night Corbin was hurt…” Sawyer swallowed hard. She hadn’t spoken of that night since it had happened. Four of them had gone on a mission and she’d been the only one to return whole. “Rafe was there. In the building we raided. We had to split up. Tess and Liam went left. Corbin and I went right. When everything went to hell and we were fighting our way out, I saw Rafe. He killed one of Ephraim’s soldiers who’d come up behind me while I was focused on Corbin. I don’t know why he was there, but he saved my life. Once I got Corbin out, I was going to go back to help Tess and Liam but the building exploded. I saw someone crawling from the rubble, injured. It was Rafe. I helped him drag himself out. I don’t know why he stayed gone all these years, but he saved my life that night, Lydia.” Sawyer stopped for a moment to let Lydia digest her words.
Sawyer’s mind flashed through the painful memories of that night and she swallowed hard against the painful lump in her throat. “I made him try to heal Corbin. He was bleeding and burned but he tried. He tried until he nearly passed out. Nothing worked. Even knowing Corbin probably wouldn’t make it, I couldn’t leave him there. I let Rafe go. He made me promise not to let anyone know he was alive. I don’t know why.” Sawyer looked at her feet. “I wanted to tell you back then, but I didn’t know how. I didn’t know if you’d even want to know. And then I was a mess. I’d just lost my whole team in one night. When they offered to let me leave to find the Warrens, I ran. I had to get out. I’m so sorry Lydia.”
The look of anger on Lydia’s face felt like a slap to Sawyer. “Why are you telling me this now?” she asked, her voice hard. “Why not just keep lying?”
Sawyer hated herself for being the reason for the hurt she saw on Lydia’s face. “I’ve done a lot of thinking since I left. Losing people you love is awful. The only thing worse is not knowing what happened to them. I needed you to know. He saved us that night and he saved Jon today. He’s not dead. Your husband is alive.”
Lydia’s eyes closed briefly and when they opened, the anger of before was gone. Sawyer recognized a deep sadness in the other woman’s eyes as she spoke. “The man I married died a long time ago.” Sawyer didn’t know what to say to that, so she remained silent. After a moment, Lydia said, “Is he…” She broke off before shaking her head and covering her face with her hands.
Sawyer put a hand on her shoulder, giving it a comforting squeeze. “He’s okay,” she said softly. “Safe. He seems sad. But he’s okay, I think. I didn’t tell him about James. That’s not my place. I tried to convince him to come back with us today but he refused.”
Lydia took several deep breaths and lowered her hands from her face. Her eyes were bright, but she blinked back the tears and took a deep breath. “You said you called him?” Lydia asked, her voice hopeful.
Sawyer nodded. “I don’t know how long he’ll keep that phone, but I can give you the number. If you want it.”
Lydia looked at Sawyer for a long moment and sighed. She pulled back her shoulders and stood straighter. She didn’t answer Sawyer’s comment but instead said, “James doesn’t need to know his father is alive. If you could keep those thoughts from your head, I would appreciate it.” The vulnerability from moments before was gone and her voice was firm.
Sawyer was taken aback. “James?” she asked, surprise in her tone.
Lydia looked away for a moment before she said, “A lot has changed since you left, Sawyer. We had to do something. James can see memories and thoughts. Just flashes, but it’s enough to recognize dishonesty. I don’t like it, but we’re desperate.”
Sawyer was shocked. James was just a child. While Praetorians began their training at a young age, they didn’t usually begin active work until their teen years. She couldn’t believe Conrad would approve of his grandson being used in this capacity. “James is doing debriefs now? Conrad is okay with this?” she asked.
“It was Dad’s idea,” Lydia said in a voice that said she wasn’t happy about it. “It’s fine. He’s fine. And we need him to do this.” To Sawyer’s ears, Lydia didn’t sound like everything was fine, but she let the issue drop.
“Just avoid thoughts of Rafe while you’re with him. I want to talk to him about his father before he learns it from someone else,” Lydia began walking again as she spoke. Sawyer moved to follow her.
When he heard the door open, Declan whirled around, expecting to see Bree. He was surprised to see Sawyer standing there. She looked even more exhausted than she had earlier, the bruises more prominent on her face and arms. Her arms were cr
ossed tightly over her chest and she looked almost fragile. It wasn’t a word he would have previously associated with her and it felt strange to see her this way. He felt like he’d seen more of her emotions today than in the last month.
“You okay?” he asked her.
Sawyer quickly turned to face him. She looked almost as though she’d forgotten he was there. “Hmm?” she said absently. “Oh, yeah. I’m fine.”
Declan watched her as she seemed to don the armor she always wore. She stood up straighter and relaxed her arms. Her face took on the closed–off expression he was so used to seeing her wear. After seeing her laugh and smile and look positively happy earlier, Declan didn’t like seeing her revert to this surly, angry version of herself. He wondered what had happened to turn her into the person he saw now.
“Sawyer,” he said. “I know I’m the new kid here, but if you need to talk, I’m a good listener.” He waited for the inevitable eyeroll or smart remark, but it didn’t come.
Sawyer just studied his face for a long moment before she said, “Thanks, Declan.” Her voice was small and he didn’t like the fragile look he still saw in her eyes.
He walked a few feet closer to her and took a chance. “Is it Corbin?” Her eyes shot back to his and he knew he was right. It didn’t take a psychic to see that there was something between them.
Sawyer shook her head and said, “That story is a lot longer than we have time for right now. I’d rather not get into it.” Declan knew when not to push, so he just nodded and remained silent.
One by one, the others joined the two of them in the small room. They didn’t discuss the debrief or the compound. They sat in a silence brought on by exhaustion until Gwynn—the last person to join them—arrived. Lydia followed her into the room, still wearing her pleasant smile.
“If you’ll follow me,” she said, “I’ll take you to Medical to have your injuries tended. Afterward, Gwynn can show you to your quarters.” She walked to the other side of the room and pressed several buttons on a silver keypad. The door next to the keypad swung open soundlessly and she walked through it, the rest of the group following.
“I’m going to find Rowan,” Corbin said to Gwynn. He quickly glanced around at the faces of the others, giving a small nod before he turned left and strode briskly away from them. Sawyer watched his back as he left, feeling an awful hollowness in the pit of her stomach. Gwynn came up beside her and put an arm around her shoulders, turning her away from the direction Corbin had gone.
“Come on,” she said kindly. “Let’s go get those ribs checked out and then you need to sleep.” Sawyer couldn’t seem to find her voice so she just nodded and allowed Gwynn to steer her toward Medical.
Chapter 6
Declan’s shoulder needed stitches after all. He’d been sliced by a large piece of glass from the window during the second explosion. He sat on a stretcher and quietly endured the poking and prodding from the medical staff as they made sure no glass remained in the cut and stitched it closed. He was thankful for the numbing agent that was used, even though the sting when it was administered was intense. He knew the cut would hurt later when the medicine wore off, but for now it was gloriously numb.
Jon lay on a bed across from him, Rylee at his side as she had been all day. Declan wondered if they’d been to see James together or if Lydia had made them separate for that short time. For someone who’d spent her life hiding her emotions, Rylee certainly wasn’t hiding them now. Her worry over Jon was written all over her face. Even though it was clear now that he was going to be fine, she still wouldn’t move from his side.
Bree sat in a chair beside Declan’s stretcher, watching as the medic placed a sterile bandage on the now stitched cut. Her focus shifted from Jon to Declan and occasionally to Sawyer who was on Declan’s other side, having her ribs bound with an elastic bandage. Sawyer would occasionally let out a loud swear when one of the medical staff did something that caused her pain. Declan did his best not to laugh when it happened.
Jon was getting a blood transfusion and intravenous fluids and would be spending the night in what passed for the compound’s hospital. Everyone here referred to it as “Medical”. There were several curtained areas with beds and monitors and a handful of medical personnel assigned to care for sick or injured Praetors. None of them had Rafe’s healing ability, Sawyer had told them, but they were all good at what they did. There was even a small operating room for severe injuries. Going to regular hospitals wasn’t a good idea when you were in the middle of a war and didn’t know when the enemy might strike. They’d learned to care for their wounded themselves. Declan imagined how much easier it would be with someone like Rafe around. He wondered again what the story was with him, but he didn’t know if Sawyer would tell him or bite his head off for asking, so he kept quiet.
When Sawyer and Declan were finished, Gwynn said, “If you guys want to come with me, I’ll show you to your quarters. It’s nothing fancy, but you can get cleaned up and rest a bit.”
Rylee remained seated next to Jon’s bed. “I’m okay. I’ll stay with Jon.” Bree noticed her mother’s obstinate expression and didn’t try to talk her out of it. Jon met Bree’s gaze and gave a little roll of his eyes. Bree bent to kiss his cheek before turning to follow Gwynn and Sawyer. Declan followed the three women, feeling like he was dead on his feet.
They rode the elevator from sublevel 4 where Medical was located down to sublevel 7 which was dedicated to living quarters. The majority of these were currently empty, they were told as they exited the elevator. “Our numbers aren’t what they once were,” Gwynn said in a voice that held a touch of melancholy. Hallways stretched to the right and left and straight ahead of the elevator. Gwynn turned right without seeming to think about where she was going. “One good thing about low numbers,” she said, smiling as she used a keycard to open the first door on the left. “You guys can have your pick of quarters.” The room reminded Bree of an apartment, albeit a small one. There was a small living area, furnished with a couch and chair and even a television. Her eyes strayed to the other side of the room and she noticed that it flowed into a small eat–in kitchen. It was cozy, but it was clean and far more than she’d expected.
Gwynn turned and handed Declan the keycard. “This one’s yours,” she told him. “Bree’s is on the right.” She pointed further down the hall. “Bree, your parents are to the left of the elevator. First door on the left.” Bree nodded but made no move to leave the open doorway. There was an awkward moment of silence before Sawyer gave a disgusted sigh.
“Here,” she said, taking the keycard from Gwynn and handing it to Bree. “The fridge is stocked. There are canned goods in the pantry. If you need anything else, sublevel 3 has a cafeteria. It’s open until 9pm. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” Then she turned and walked back toward the elevator, turning right at the hallway across from it. Gwynn gave them a small smile.
“If you need anything, just let me know. I’m in 6C,” Gwynn told them. At their confused looks, she clarified. “Sublevel 6, room C.” Bree smiled and nodded her understanding.
“Thank you,” she said and meant it. She’d been more than welcoming to all of them and Bree was grateful. Gwynn nodded as she turned and walked back to the elevator, leaving the two of them standing alone in the empty hallway.
Declan watched Gwynn disappear into the elevator. He was alone with Bree. So much had happened since the last time they’d been alone. Less than 24 hours had passed, yet he felt like he’d lived an entire lifetime since waking her from the nightmare as she slept in his bed. He turned to face her and they looked at one another in silence for a moment. Declan wanted nothing more than to pull her into his arms. He wanted to hold her tight and assure himself that she was alive and safe and here with him. He couldn't do that. He shouldn't do it. The silence stretched between them. He finally gave in to the urge to touch her and reached his hand up to her cheek. “Okay?” he asked with raised eyebrows. Bree leaned her face into his hand, closed her eyes and nodded.
He gently pulled her forehead down to rest against his chest.
He brought his arms around her and his hands rubbed small circles on her back. Bree felt an insane urge to cry but managed to stifle it. All the chaos and emotion of the day felt as though it was crashing through her and she gave in to the urge to wrap her arms around Declan. She felt like he was her anchor. He was something solid to keep her tethered to the world. Without him, she thought she might shatter or float away from reality. She didn’t know how long they stood like that, her head on Declan’s chest, arms wrapped around each other, but she never wanted it to end.
Eventually however, she forced herself to pull away from Declan’s arms. If she stayed there much longer, she might find it impossible to let go. Regardless of today’s events, Declan didn’t want a romantic relationship with her and Bree didn’t want to press the issue. Besides, they were both in desperate need of a shower and sleep.
“Thank you,” she said, leaning back to look at him. “For everything. You saved me and my family today. You got us out of there. If it weren’t for you, my dad wouldn’t have made it.” Declan looked uncomfortable with her praise, but he remained silent. “I mean it,” she said. “We owe you our lives.” He gave her a small smile before nodding in the direction of her room which lay behind her.
“You need to get some rest,” he said. “We’re safe now.” She looked at him a moment longer before nodding and turning to walk to her own room. Declan watched her use the card to open the door and waited for her to disappear into the room before turning to enter his own quarters. Closing the door behind him, he leaned against it, feeling the dark memories of the day trying to crowd into his mind. Pushing the thoughts away, he began to walk through his new place.
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