by Sam Hall
“No, I—”
“Wait, I think I’ve got it. You were the coach of the underdog team for the Superbowl, but through a curious blend of pluck, determination and with a whole lot of overpaid footballers, you guys managed to win the championship, but instead of dumping Gatorade they dumped beer on you.”
“Close, but—”
“Synchronised swimming in a pool filled with beer?”
“No.”
“You went to save Timmy, who you thought had fallen down the well, but had actually dropped into the fermentation tanks at the local brewery?”
“No.”
“You went to change water into wine but fucked up and produced beer instead and figured, fuck it, I’ll go for a swim?”
“No! Do you want to know what actually happened, or keep making stupid guesses?” I said
“You have to ask,” Jez said, her smile wide. Her mouth opened to come up with a different theory but I slapped a hand over it. She just rolled her eyes and shivered like this was some kind of weird BDSM thing.
“I jumped off the back of a dragon.”
She yanked my hand away, “Yeah, so? Don’t we all do that at the end of those bloody nauseating trips on Miazydar?”
“Mid-air, hundreds of metres up and M wasn’t there.” My eyes dropped to the ground. “I thought they were trying to kill me with plausible deniability. Death by misadventure and all that.” I looked up and met Jez’s alarmed gaze with equanimity. “Turns out it’s a rite of passage, to learn how to jump off the back of a dragon and trust your fellow riders will catch you, hence the beer bath.”
“Whoa! So, who d'you fuck or fight?”
“How did you…”
She shrugged. “Life and death, fuck or fight. So…” A slow smile spread across her face. “Fuck it is then. So, was it the Ozymandias looking aristocrat or…? No, it was Doppelganger Dude, wasn’t it. Finally found out just what kind of wand Merlin was packing, did ya? By proxy, of course. So what are we talking here? Some little Harry Potter unicorn hair shit or the whole Gandalf staff?” I looked away and she chuckled. “Staff, huh? Well, well, well, Miss Tess has a couple of fish on her line.”
“Dinner’s up!” Flea called from inside the house.
“Hmm, that’s a complication,” Jez said, her eyes jerking over her shoulder. “You gonna tell him?”
I should, I just wasn’t real sure what the etiquette was for telling one prospective boyfriend that you had sex with the other prospective boyfriend. Or was Keel even a prospect? Maybe he was just caught up in the moment like I had been, hadn’t I?
“If you want a tip from your Aunty Jez—?”
“Jez, we’re the same fucking age.”
“Yeah, but I’ve been around the block a lot more times than you. There was that time with those twins, and then their cousin found out I was two-timing them and then he—”
“We are not doing ‘Highlights from Jez’s Sex Life’. I stink, am hungry and thirsty and may have to fight monster spiders to have a shower.”
“Yeah, that’s not gonna be an issue anymore.”
“Oh, thank God. The one sitting on the toilet lid this morning looked like he was about to ask me the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow before he’d let me pass. So did you guys get some poison or something?”
“Not quite. Well, you’re going for a wash anyway, so you may as well take a look.” Jez lead me up the hall to the bathroom door where weirdly I could hear a low growling sound. What could possibly be growling in the bathroom? I opened it a crack and heard a rapid scuffle as I did so. I opened the door wider, Jez’s head popping up over my shoulder. Inside it looked like a battlefield and the war had been waged unsuccessfully by a surprising number of dead spiders and one hunched up miffle, protecting its latest kill.
“Oh my God, a miffle!” I shrieked which just resulted in the poor beastie shrinking away, his tiny ears lying flat on his round head. “Shit, sorry little dude,” I whispered. This seemed to allay his fears slightly, his back flattening from the furious hoop he had contorted into. He settled down on the tiles, gnawing at the remains of an alarmingly large spider.
I crept in, shoving the dismembered corpses of arachnids to one side as I went. I only screamed once when a limb twitched, something that had the miffle skittering back under the bathroom sink, but he came out not long afterward when I stopped making strange noises. He dropped the leg he was chewing on as I crawled closer, his little button nose flaring as he scented me. I’m guessing he liked beer as he chirruped, then trotted over with a weird lolloping gait. He sniffed at my leg, starting backwards when I chuckled, but the lure of hops was too great. He was back again minutes later, a little paw landing on my knee and his rough tongue licking at my skin, methodically removing all the beer residue. I lifted a hand, slowly, slowly, his brown eyes taking my movement in, but he didn’t pull away. Holding my breath, I gently traced a finger over the tips of his fur. He went still, eyes flicking back, tongue still for a moment, then something magic happened. Emboldened, I stroked the fur back across his head, my caress growing firmer as his eyes closed and he began to purr.
“Looks like you’ve found a friend,” Jez said in a whisper.
“Grab one of the half full bottles of beer in the kitchen. We’ll put it out for him in a saucer.”
“You sure about that? You want Fluffy the Arachnid Destroyer getting on the piss?”
“Just a bit,” I said, “otherwise I’m never having a shower.”
Fluffy kept up the good work, his eyes flicking up when Jez reappeared. She passed the saucer to me and I placed it before him. He gave another cute chirp of appreciation and dropped down to lap from that.
I got my shower, glad to wash off all the stink, washing my hair twice until it smelled like herbs and flowers rather than beer and found Fluffy curled up next to his saucer, his paws tucked in tight to his tubby little brown mottled body. We had a quick slap-up meal of sandwiches and I shared the details of my day, well, all except the last part. Afterwards I did the dishes, then looked at the pile of books calling my name but had a Shay with the guys instead. Flea smiled and wrapped his arm around me when I settled down on the couch, but didn’t have much to say until we went to bed hours later.
The moon shone brightly through the window at the back of the room as I stripped off my clothes. “Hey,” Flea said, coming in close and resting his forearms on my shoulders, “you OK?”
I thought I should step free of his embrace, put some distance between us to tell him the truth but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. If he took the welcome warmth of his body away, that would be his choice.
“Jumping off the back of a dragon mid-air.” He shook his head. “Wouldn’t catch me doing that. You got some guts, girl.”
“I slept with someone else,” I said, looking up at him, watching his murky eyes to catch every response to my bald words. I’d made myself clear as to where I was with us, but I wasn’t going to let myself pretend everything was hunky-dory unless it actually was. A small frown formed, his lips went slack, then tightening as he considered what I’d said. “It was Keel,” I said, figuring I may as well hammer that last nail into the coffin.
He didn’t move his arms or pull away, but his hips shifted from side to side as if he struggled to find a comfortable position and couldn’t. Finally he said, “You didn’t have to tell me.”
“OK, I’ll make sure—”
“But I’m glad you’re being honest with me. I gotta admit, I don’t know if I need to know each and every time you end up in the sack with someone.” He straightened up and stared straight into my eyes. “What I really need to know is, do I still have a chance?”
“Of course,” I said and moved in closer so his arms were forced to encircle me and my cheek came to rest on his chest. “It was…stress relief more than anything.”
His lips grazed the top of my head. “Well, that’s OK then.”
29
“Oh God, yes…” I whimpered. I was standing, ankl
es kicked out wide, breasts pressed against the rough cotton of the downstairs dojo in the main teaching area. “Fuck…” I mumbled into the padded wall as Keel’s tongue flicked my clit hard, those long agile fingers that were wielding his spear with such precision only minutes ago, now pushing into me.
“Gonna have to be quick…” Keel gasped against my skin. He gave my clit another few long licks as if he couldn’t help himself. My legs widened further to help him move in closer, to increase that delicious contact, something. A familiar intense ache spread from inner thigh to deep inside me, to the other thigh. “Class is about to start.”
Fuck class and fuck him, I thought as he got to his feet. I heard his zip lower and the crackle of a packet and then God, yes. The thick head of his cock was pushing into me, forcing its way into me, my hips jerking backwards to ease his way in, a groan escaping from the both of us when he bottomed out.
“You feel so good,” he hissed into my ear as his hand snuck around and then he began to move. There’s nothing sweet or careful about what he’s doing, this was a hard, quick fuck. His fingers plucked at my clit, his dick slammed in and out and I’m left pinned to the wall, helpless under his onslaught.
“Oh, yes…” I sighed, meeting him stroke for stroke, twisting my hips and working myself back on his cock, each slamming motion pushing me closer and closer. “Fuck!” I yelped. When his pace picked up I heard more and more noise outside the dojo. I’d come here early to practise sparring, but it turned into something else pretty damn quickly. That twisted smile and green eyes had me out of my jeans and panting against the wall in record time. “People are coming!”
“Mmm…” Keel said, nuzzling the back of my neck. “Me too. C’mon, babe, come for me, come with me.”
I’d always hated that trope in romance novels, being told when to come as if a man’s voice was all it took. Orgasms could be an elusive thing for me and taking orders from some stranger to respond on demand just made me feel pressured and very unsexy. But maybe because Keel’s actions spoke louder than his words, his fingers sliding on either side of my clit, forcing the hood back and forth, harder and faster, his hips shifting until the big head of his cock was dragging over that spot inside me... My fingernails dug into the walls when my clit began to throb in the best way. Soon, I thought, so, so soon…
“Mr Keel…?”
I should ‘ve turned around, wondered why anyone was trying to talk to Keel right now when he was obviously otherwise engaged. Instead I came, hard, gasping into the wall as the dictated orgasm washed through me, spurred on again when Keel came moments later. He pulled me to face him, removing the condom and kissing my panting mouth with his.
“This was great cardio, but no good for developing my spear fighting,” I said.
“So same time tomorrow morning?”
“Totally.”
I pulled my clothes into place and grabbed my books and bag and ran up the stairs, not meeting the many curious stares as I exited the room. I soon wished I’d been able to follow Keel’s order as I walked into History class.
“Ah, the human has decided to join us,” the lecturer said as I tried to sneak into the back row. “After having several days off studying, surely you’d be prepared for a little pop quiz.” Everyone’s eyes turned to look at me, taking in my flushed face and dishevelled clothes, I’m sure.
“Um… well...”
Artificial light shone off the professor’s round spectacles so he looked like one of those highway cops in the middle of nowhere who pull you over to ask if you squeal like a pig. “What role did the Granathians have in the Great Crusade of 1933?”
Who the fuck were the Granathians? I’d read through the textbook chapters Vella’s notes identified but had to admit, all the foreign names had begun to blend together. While I’d been quite good at world history at home, I’d had my short lifetime to familiarise myself with World War I and the Hundred Years War, not a couple of days. I’m sure I looked just like a deer in the headlights, eyes wide, heart pounding, my mouth dropping open but nothing useful coming out. The professor’s smile spread across his face, a twisted malicious thing. And then I said, “The Granathians were described as the king-makers, a powerful family, yet few ever stepped up to try and take the throne. Rather, they used their power to throw their support behind candidates they felt had the best chance of success and would mortgage that alliance to the hilt once their king or queen was installed. The Great Crusade was the last real attempt to ensure no dragons were left on the continent, outside of Aravisia. Some say the Granathians pushed the then King Herald into the bloody rampage through the twenty-odd different countries, but others argue that their subsequent fall in favour after the massive backlash that arose from the extreme loss of life and cost of the Crusade may have resulted in a little creative writing when it comes to history books, casting them as the puppet masters, manipulating a noble, if weak, King and paving the way for the subsequent rise of the distaff line of House Casterson.”
Silence fell over the room. Now it wasn’t just me sitting there with their mouth hanging open. Professor Rend’s snapped shut first, thinning down before he gathered himself, drawing a deep breath in. “Yes, well, it seems you have learned something, if not some extremely suspect theories about the royal family. Take your seat, we must begin working on your final paper for the course.”
The rest of the day seemed to follow the same pattern. Not being late to class due to fucking Keel, but whenever called on by Professors, I had the answers, whether I remembered them or not. I couldn’t work out what the hell had happened, but for now, I went with it. The identical stunned looks on my teachers’ faces were enough for me to not question it. I breezed through two lectures, a test and a lab lesson with little to no effort, floating down to the dining room for lunch.
“Hey, Tess.” I looked up from my plate to see Keel had come over, sliding along the bench seat until his thigh brushed mine.
“Lieutenant Keel, this is a surprise,” Alden said.
He shrugged. “I had an hour before the next class. You ready to work on your defence, Vella? You keep broadcasting your strokes.” She grimaced at this, then nodded before going back to her lunch. “And what about you, Tess? You free after school? I felt like we were really getting somewhere this morning, but there were a few issues with rhythm. I’d love to work those out.”
I stiffened beside him, my eyes flicking around the group before turning to him. I noted his dropped to my mouth and stayed there as if he needed to see my reply to take it in. “Ah… I can’t after school. I think the morning session is all the time I’m going to have free with all the assignments coming in.”
“OK,” he said, “I guess we’ll just have to make the most of what we have then, won’t we?” His voice was a low purr. If what we were up to this morning hadn’t done the rounds yet, he was pretty much advertising it to the world now. “Until the tomorrow then. Cadets,” he said with a nod and then got to his feet and walked off.
“Fucking flyboys,” Rylen said, dropping his sandwich onto his plate as he watched Keel go. “Have you worked out which lucky scale chaser you’re taking to this thing?”
“Nope, but I’m having fun thinning the herd,” Grey said, casting a look over his shoulder which resulted in quite a few women turning around to giggle.
“And at any rate, won’t you be a flyboy by the year’s end, or are you turning away from the family trade?” Alden said.
“Damn straight I am. My brothers can chase glory, I intend to keep a desk very warm somewhere in the most labyrinthine of government departments. No chance of this little black duck being called up. These bloody Games are my first and last exercises as a fighting dragon rider if I can get that damned double-barrelled spin down. Jingilian gets vertigo, as I’ve told the Captain over and over. There’s no amount of training that’s going to get him over it, though the Anatomy prof reckons she’s got something experimental to try on him.”
“Well, if it shows no sign of improving,
perhaps you can also request for extra tutoring from Lieutenant Keel,” Alden said.
I came home that day to find Scalla and Miazydar sitting on the couch in the lounge room, him with a book open in his claws, another few resting on his belly as he dictated something for Scalla to scribble down. “Hello?” I said.
“Ah, you’re here. Good, good, so classes all went well today?” Miazydar said.
“Really well, I knew the answers to every question asked of me.”
“Yes, that one about the ghrelin gland was a particularly tricky one, but I managed to find the answer just in time. You’re welcome by the way,” Miazydar said.
“You found the answer?” I said. “What’s been happening? Have you been feeding me the answers? How did you know what the questions were?”
“I’ve found that if I concentrate, I read what you read, know what you know. I was tired of sitting up in the eyrie all day, so I thought I’d apply myself, help you get through this ridiculous requirement of educational attainment. Then we can focus on what really matters, the plight of dragons now.”
“This is your paper for History, your report for Anatomy and another for Husbandry,” Scalla said, passing me several neatly typed scrolls in a language I didn’t understand. “We’ll have the rest done by the end of the week. Miazydar dictated and I transcribed. He’s very eloquent.”
“Right,” I said, sitting down on the armchair with a flump. I’d expected I’d have to hit the books hard, but apparently I needn’t have bothered rushing home.
I wonder if Keel’s still up for training? I thought.
Is that really what you should be spending your time doing? Miazydar said. You still have that ridiculous demonstration to complete for the war games display and of course, there’s Scalla’s contacts to make use of. There’s quite the network of malcontents in the country.