by Sam Hall
My brain took an age to realise what was happened. My thoughts were like glue, focusing on whatever his hand was doing whilst I was in Miazydar’s head. “Pickup,” I stuttered as my limbs flailed in the air. How long had I been falling for? I needed to take some seconds off so I had time to be caught before I hit the ground. “Pickup in thirty,” I said.
“Pickup terminated,” Keya replied with a crackle.
Fuck! I thought, she’s insisting on the forty-second fall, no matter what.
“Pick up forty!” I shout, hoping I’m going to have enough damn time. The adrenalin washed the lust from my veins like a cold shower. I’m falling like a stone, not in any controlled way. I got my limbs under control with a determined yank, seeing the ground rushing towards me clearly.
“Keel, cut comms,” Keya said. I frowned in confusion but then Keya’s voice returned, “Pickup is cancelled, cadet. I was told to cut all comms so that everyone thinks it’s a malfunction of the helmet rather than a deliberate plan to eradicate an obstacle, but I’m a soldier. I don’t baulk from my kills, don’t need to perform mental gymnastics to justify my actions. It’s about duty and the benefit of the greater good, sure, but it’s also about killing what I’m told to kill. I will observe your passing unflinching. We strike without warning, cadet.”
A sob bubbled in my throat. Things went so quiet when Bhechro stopped harassing me. I’d expected the professors to fail me on units for spurious reasons, another poisoning attempt or arming a homicidal student who was desperate to climb the social ladder, but not this. You fucking idiot; I cursed myself; you backed right up to Keel’s hard cock and took it like a champ, without even needing to be stupefied into submission like the poor queen. Miazydar! They’ve drugged you and they’re not going to pick me up. I’m going to die in a matter of seconds if you don’t get here!
This is rape, I know it, the hard kernel of truth sitting in the depths of my stomach like a stone as I enter the queen. My neck tries to wind with hers as I pump into her, my hips moving on automatic as hers lay beneath mine, still and yielding. Something prickled at my consciousness, fighting to get through the haze, but it was all I could do to hold on to what I am as I desecrated this poor dragon’s body. She stunk of chemicals, reeked of the attempts to prompt her into receptivity and then into submission when that didn’t work. This wouldn’t result in any young, that I knew, and then it occurred to me: Why were they going to all this trouble to complete this travesty?
Miazydar... My mental link came out more of a sob than anything. I didn’t cry, there was no point. They’d trained and trained me to push past the fear, past my good and natural instincts and now the cold, rational part of my brain had the wheel and wasn’t letting go. Miazydar’d been drugged into oblivion, as he was the only one who could’ve stopped this. They’d gotten me good and proper. I zipped by dragons and props, heard the crowd’s roar grow louder and louder as they watched me fall, on tenterhooks to see if I’m going to make it or not. I wasn’t, I knew that now. I thought I was smart enough to see past all the games, but I wasn’t. Flea and Jez would be stuck here at best or killed. Probably killed, because if they’re willing to commit this crime against a rider, what would a couple of menials mean to the Aravisians? And Scalla, they must know exactly what role she had to play and were about to take her out. And they had to sit and watch this, no doubt with plasma spears at their necks, they had to watch me die.
Finally, my brain ran out of things to consider and a quiet peace settled over me. I wasn’t going to sob or plead or do anything to titillate Keya. She wanted to bear witness, well she would get nothing from me but my battered body. I could see the riders, the sand, the faces of the crowd as I grew closer and closer. Finally, I shut my eyes, not wanting to wait for the moment of impact. I was finished.
I couldn’t describe for you what it was like to fall to your death. Suffice it to say it was agonising. Feeling the machinery of your body crumple like the front end of a car, organs, bones, muscles tearing and shattering. I was conscious for part of it, trapped within the cage of my corpse until finally the synapses stopped firing.
38
“Well, you always did have a flair for the dramatic.”
My eyes flicked open. This is unexpected, I thought. Of all the models of the afterlife, I wouldn’t’ve thought the white room from The Matrix was the correct one. Because all I could see around me was whiteness and at my mental prompt, two red leather upholstered wing chairs popped into being. One being for me of course and the other? My Nan sat in it wearing a floral blouse and a stretchy pair of sage green pants. My heart stuttered...where? I didn’t have a heart anymore to beat.
“Nan...?” my voice was part prayer, part plea.
“Of course, you summoned me. Finally got desperate enough on those adventures you persist on going on to tap me on the shoulder? It’s been murder hanging around in the background, watching you go through all of this, but here I am.”
“How...? What...?”
She smiled and reached out for me, taking my hand when I sat down and patting it. “You’re a magic user, my love, an incredibly powerful one. Like your dear old Nan, like Merlin. It was very difficult when you were young. Your father refused to deal with the situation and your mother had kittens when I broached the idea. I had to put a seal on your magic until I had a chance to talk to you about it, waiting for you to be ready to handle that kind of burden. I thought we had some time, when you turned thirty was my estimation. Of course, I died, didn’t I, leaving you with access to all your powers at once and no training. I could’ve sworn I had a few more decades left, but I guess death is the final adventure for all of us.”
“Wow.” An eloquent response, I knew but I couldn’t think of anything else to add. The info dump sat on me like a brick. “You’re being awfully forthcoming. Why weren’t you like this when you were alive? Why didn’t you at least hint? You know how obsessed I was with magic.”
“I am because that’s the way you’ve made me. Your real grandmother has passed on, how and in what form, I’m not sure. I’m her echo and you want me to cut the bullshit and lay it all on you, so I am.”
“Really? So here I can just want something and it happens?”
Her smile was wide, the same apple-cheeked, sweet one I remembered. “Honey, you want things and they happen all the time. You always have.”
I jerked back. “Um... no. I didn’t want that fucking psycho to try and rape Ash.”
“No, because that’s not how it worked. You wanted adventure, romance, challenges you could overcome and emerge triumphant from. Of course, there was a little oversight on your part. You’d think from your endless reading of those fantasy books you’d have realised that the main characters often go through horrible things before the triumphant point. In that particular case, it was Ash.”
“This is bullshit. If I wanted adventures, why did all the cool shit happen to Ash? I wanted to make out with Elaith Windrunner so bad and she was all like ‘Ew, he has tinsel, coloured hair’.”
“The ‘cool shit’ you describe happened to Ash first because she was the only one you could visualise doing so.” My grandmother’s apparition gave me a sad smile. “You always did let her surge forward, dominate the conversations, get all the attention. When you came into your power, it had to go somewhere, so it went to the person you unconsciously thought of being the most heroic.”
“Oh.”
“And now we need to get back to yours. You’re equally the leader your sister is, sometimes more so, something I’ll have you not repeat to her. You watch what goes on with everyone, proceeding carefully and you think this a weakness. But anyway, sibling rivalry aside, we need to get you out of this mess you’re in.”
“Deus Ex Granny?” I said.
“Not me, you. You have the power, Tess, to do whatever you wish. That’s how it works, you frame what you want in your mind and then push that out.”
“What? I’m asking the universe and it will just do my bidding?”
“In your case, yes. In everyone else’s case, it’s just a bunch of fatalistic twaddle where they refashion a whole constellation into some kind of paternalistic force.”
“So I could turn the Queen of Aravisia into a pile of gummy bears and make all the dragons ride the humans?”
“Let's see, shall we?”
We snapped back into being in the arena, surrounded by chaos. As Keya had predicted, some of the crowd bayed for more blood, wanting more riders to jump to experience the dubious pleasure of waiting on tenterhooks if they would live or die. Others recoiled in horror, hiding their eyes behind their hands and thankfully turning their children away. Riders and dragons clustered on the ground around the bloody smear that was me. “Let’s fix that first, yes?” Nan said and then all of a sudden I was opening my eyes and peeling my now perfectly healed body off the sand. Everyone scrabbled back, their expressions comical as I got to my feet. All except for Keya, her face looked like death.
“Surprise motherfucker,” I said and belted her one in the jaw. I was pleased to see her fall back heavily on the ground, enjoying the little bounce it made as her eyes rolled back in her head. “Wakey, wakey,” I said and her eyes flicked open, followed by a low groan. “You’re not getting away from this that easily.”
“While I enjoy a good vendetta as much as the next girl, this,” Nan’s finger pointed to the Captain, “is just a symptom, not the root cause. You can, of course, beat her to a bloody pulp, but then what? Her life will change, the lives of those connected to her will as well, but Aravisia?”
My fists were still balled. I was damn fucking ready to pummel the life out of her, break her body into smaller and smaller pieces like mine had. The vicious, bloody-mouthed pleasure of slicing the Prince came to me in a rush, so much so I had a coppery taste on my tongue.
“Fine,” I said, stepping back and forcing my hands down, “but the cause is this whole place: the Queen, her government, her fucking bureaucracy. Christ, it goes down to the average Joe on the street who’d step over his own grandmother to get his own dragon. With so much social and political importance placed on the head of each beast, their exploitation is guaranteed. How do I change an entire society?”
“With difficulty and it doesn’t always work out the way you want,” Nan replied. “The French Revolution was a good example. It all started out as freedom for the people and getting rid of the absolute power of the monarchy and then lo-and-behold, you have the Terror and no one saw that little shit, Napoleon, coming up out of that.”
“That was you?”
“Oh no, that was another of our number,” Nan said with a wave of her hand.
“Just how old are you, Nan?”
“What a rude question, Therese! Your mother brought you up better than that. And anyway, I’m the same as all grandmothers, as old as time itself.”
I shook my head, starting to find all the information I’d heard today a tad overwhelming. “Right, weird, remind me to ask you how many important historical events you have firsthand knowledge of at a later date, but right now, Aravisia. What the hell do I do?”
“Well, this society is hierarchal like any other. Start with changes at the top.”
“I guess that’s the Queen, but then there’s those overbred, donkey eared dicks in the aristocracy. Fuckwits like Bhechro that educate their kids. Monsters like Olongth, Graves. Keel, the weaselly fuck.”
I turned back and saw everyone I’d listed standing in an awkward group. They all began to talk at once but it was one imperious voice that rose above the rest. “If you do not stop all of this at once, those ‘friends’ of yours will be cut down in seconds.”
She looked at me, the Queen, her face a perfect mask of royal amusement. While everyone else was looking a whole lot more disconcerted, she just fixed me with a cat-like smile and raised a hand, as if to send a signal to her minions.
“Fuck that,” I said, and Scalla, Jez and Flea appearing on the sand by me. Flea had a swollen eye and a bloody lip, something I healed instantly.
“Are we at the good part now?” Jez said, eyes wide with glee. “Fuck yes! I was so pissed I missed the big slice and dice scene in Damorica. So, what are we gonna do to these fucks? Turning the riders into my sexual harem would totally be a fitting punishment for the structural inequities they maintain through force.”
“A sea of men to drown yourself in, huh?” I said.
“Why narrow it to just men? I’m an equal opportunity sex goddess.”
“Maybe you will be. You know the ‘curse’ is going to land on you next.” It was because I was going to wish it so.
Her face transformed into a glistening eyed picture of joy. Her hands clasped under her chin. “Are you serious? Please say you’re serious. Please, please, please—”
“Yeah, it will. You’re the next one of us.”
“Ohmigod yes! I have some books you need to get right the fuck onto. If reverse harem wasn’t a feature of your reading list before, it is now.”
“OK, OK, we’ve just got a little political upheaval to resolve though, yeah?”
“Of course,” Jez said with a flourish, “far be it from me to get between a girl and her revolution. Why not sort out that fuck, Keel, first? He was lying to you the whole time, wasn’t he?”
“Good point.” I clicked my fingers and there he stood in front of us, those pretty green eyes rolling in fear. He edged away from Flea who positively radiated menace. “Don’t worry about him, fuck face. Eyes on the omnipotent one.” His eyes darted over obediently, though I could see the quiver in his body as he struggled against the compulsion. “Why’d you do it, Keel? I was going to make the jumps anyway because you guys told me I had to. I would’ve welcomed anyone who was willing to train me. Why pretend to be my friend? That you were interested? That there was something between us? The truth now, tell me why?”
“I love to have something over people, it’s what Keya uses me for. Watching people go about their day, completely clueless, gets me hard every time. I’m not sure if I can get it up if I’m not thinking of deceiving people. Well, that and watching tau mate. I used to watch them all the time when I was a boy at my uncle’s farm and sometimes if I’m finding it hard to perform, I imagine I’m a tau bull about to cover a cow.” He swallowed hard, jerking his eyes down, sweat pouring off his forehead as he fought me. “God, this is so fucking humiliating. I hope Sabelina doesn’t get word of this. My parents need her dowry to pay my brother’s gambling debts.” I gestured for him to continue and when he did, his voice echoed through the whole auditorium. “The best sex I’ve had with Sabelina was when I convinced myself she was a cow brought against her will to the mating box. I blew inside her within five strokes, something she was pissed as hell about, but it was so hot. Then she made me eat her out for hours until she came. I ended up with mouthfuls of my own cum. That was gross.”
“Done with him, love?” Nan said, appearing at my side.
“Yes, wait, no.” I clicked a finger at the Merlin substitute and he transformed into a tau. Now he could have all the tau sex he liked, the only issue being that he’d be on the receiving end. I’d made him into a cow.
“Do I get to shoot the fuck in the head?” Flea said, watching the beast moo in a confused manner.
“Don’t need to. He’s going to end up someone’s Sunday roast one day,” Jez said.
My grin was so wide it split my face, “That or prize breeding stock, getting it from bull after bull.”
We both cackled at that and Flea looked somewhat mollified. “So what about the rest of these fucks?” he said. “Turn the lot of them into cows?”
“It’s more complicated than that. Whole political structures will dissolve, or some other fuck will scramble to the top of the shit heap to fill the role if I do. And there’s those that have dragons. Will they thank me for taking their bonded away?”
“Ask them,” Scalla said. We all turned to her. “They are the only ones who can tell you how they’ll be affected.”
“Take our dragons! Who the hell do you think you are?” The Queen marched forward, having to yank her dress out from under the feet of those around her to do so. “Some Damorican agent here to overthrow all monarchs, placed on their thrones by the—”
I held up a hand and her mouth snapped shut. “My original plan was to turn you into a pile of gummy bears—”
“Why gummy bears?” Jez whispered. I just shrugged.
“—so let’s do it this way. Every time you say something self-involved, part of you will turn into gummy bears, OK?”
I freed her mouth and instantly she shrieked, “Riders! To your qu—” Her eyes dropped as several of her beautifully manicured fingers turned into gummy bears, each one dropping from the end of her hand and landing in a brightly coloured pile. “Someone he—!” Off went another few. I watched the woman’s breath come hard and fast as she stared at the neat stumps left. The process wasn’t painful, there were no wounds, no blood, which was more consideration than she’d given many of her victims.
“So why did you do this to me?” I said, gesturing for her to speak when she hesitated.
“You were a threat....” More gummies fell. “Your dragon would...” Several more pattered on the ground. “Damorica was...” The pile grew larger. Now the woman stood there, looking at the stumps of her arms, all of her fingers and hands having transformed away. She blinked wildly as if she couldn’t believe what she was seeing.
“Let me do this for you,” I said. “You wanted me killed from the first moment you heard there was a dragon outside of Aravisia. Not because we were helping the Damorican government, not because I was rallying support or doing something vaguely political that would affect Aravisia, but because you thought you had the sole monopoly on dragons in this world and didn’t want anything to threaten that. By giving me the ‘chance’ to earn citizenship, really you were using the time to beat up support for your regime by promoting Miazydar as some kind of prize to be bestowed on the people after my ‘unfortunate demise’, thinking he would be more biddable if I died. Answer me before I turn you into a pile of confectionary.”