Stalemate

by Lisa Suzanne

  Maybe it’s not my job to.

  “Maybe that’s one of the things we can discuss if I come in after my appointment on Monday.”

  He heaves out a breath. “You’re not leaving The Port.”

  I chuckle. “Yes sir. Redefine it is, then.”

  We’re getting closer to town. The winery is located up in the hills through some twists and turns, and we’re getting closer to my street, which comes before Axel would continue on to his place.

  “What if we just call you the marketing director?” he asks.

  “Well that’s sort of what I do anyway.”

  “Yeah, but promoter sounds so…”

  “Young?”

  He chuckles. “If you think you’re not getting any younger, then I must be ancient.”

  “You totally are.”

  “Thanks,” he says dryly.

  He drives right past my street.

  “Um, Axel? I think your age is getting to you. You just passed my street.”

  “I know.” He grins.

  “You know?”

  “I’m not taking you home.”

  “You’re not?”

  He shakes his head.

  “Where are you taking me?” I ask.

  “It would appear we have some making up to do.”

  “And we can’t make up at my place?”

  “We could…but my bed is bigger.”

  I can’t help but smile at those words.

  CHAPTER 31

  EMME

  “Do you need anything?” Axel asks after we walk through his front door. I’d sort of expected him to attack me in the best way, but he doesn’t—not right away, at least.

  “Some water would be great, and I have to use the restroom.”

  “Go for it.”

  I toss my purse down on his counter and it tips immediately over. I didn’t bother to zip it shut after I tossed in my cell phone when we got out of the Jeep.

  “Shit,” I mutter as the contents roll out all over the counter. Axel turns around to help me and his arm brushes mine as the two of us start gathering up my wallet, cell phone, gum, and just about every beauty product known to man.

  And then Axel freezes.

  He seems focused on one item, and when my eyes see what it is, my heart stops.

  Prenatal vitamins.

  Courtney stuck them in my purse when we left the pharmacy with the pregnancy tests in tow, and I haven’t given them another thought since. Shit. Fuck shit fuck.

  He picks up the bottle, and my eyes fly immediately to his face. He’s transfixed with wide eyes. His lips part, and he goes to say something but the words die on his tongue. His eyes slide over to mine.

  “Are you…?”

  The words hang between us. This isn’t how I wanted him to find out. I’m trying to get a read on his reaction to the possibility, but his expression gives nothing away.

  “The throwing up. The exhaustion. Passing out. Not sure about your future at the bar…” He’s piecing it all together, and he finally nods at the bottle of vitamins before he turns those wide, dark eyes on me. “Prenatal vitamins. Oh my God, Emme, are you pregnant?”

  A pang of anxiety pierces my gut, but I suppose I can’t keep this little secret from Axel any longer. “Yes,” I whisper.

  He blinks once as he processes this information, and then he sets the vitamins on the counter and backs up a step.

  “You’re pregnant?” He runs a hand down his beard.

  I nod. I suppose I haven’t really thought about how this news might affect him. I’ve really only come to grips with it myself over the past few days.

  “I’m going to be a father?”

  I nod again, this time with a little more assurance.

  “And you’re going to be a mother.”

  “Yes.”

  “And I’m going to be a father?”

  I give him a nervous smile. His expression still isn’t giving anything away, and it’s killing me. Is he freaking out? Is he mad? Is he upset that my birth control didn’t work? “You already said that one.”

  “I’m just making sure I heard that right.”

  “You heard that right.”

  He stands in a daze for a beat, and then he closes the small gap between us and throws his arms around me. He squeezes me tightly against him, and my arms go immediately around his waist. “We’re having a baby,” he says quietly into my hair, his voice full of emotion. He buries his face into my shoulder and hugs me tighter as the idea takes root in his mind.

  I feel him tremble and then I hear a quiet sniffle. We’ve known each other for over two years now, and I’ve never seen him cry.

  I’m not sure why he’s crying now, but the idea scares me a little. Is it because he’s as terrified as I am? Is it because he doesn’t want this but it’s our reality? Is it because we almost just broke up?

  “This isn’t how I wanted you to find out,” I say softly.

  He pulls back. His eyes are red-rimmed, but he still looks like the strong man I love. He stares at me, and all I see in his eyes is love. Even though he hasn’t really said anything yet, I feel an immediate sense of peace. He drops to his knees and presses a kiss to my stomach, and then he wraps his arms around my waist.

  “It’s okay,” he says, resting his cheek against my belly. “It’s fine. It’s good.”

  “Yeah? Good?”

  He wipes at his eyes, and then he looks up at me and smiles before he stands. He presses a soft kiss to my lips. “Yeah, good. Really good.”

  “Thank God.” I throw my arms around him again, and he laughs.

  “How did you keep this a secret?”

  “I stayed away from you.” I say it into his chest.

  “When were you planning to tell me?”

  “After I see my doctor on Monday.”

  He gently nudges me off him. “That’s what your doctor’s appointment is Monday?”

  I nod.

  “Can I come?” He looks so hopeful, so excited.

  My heart swells. “Of course you can come. I would love to have you there.”

  He grins. “We.”

  “We?”

  “We would love to have you there.”

  “That’s going to take some getting used to.”

  “We’re going to be a little family of three.” He looks at me with wide, nervous eyes. “Are you okay with that?”

  I smile to reassure him. I know I expressed time and again that this wasn’t something I ever wanted, but now…now it feels exactly right. “Oh, I’m more than okay with that.”

  “Yeah?”

  I nod. “Yeah.”

  He grabs me up into another hug, and I giggle.

  “Now I really have to pee.”

  “Go! Go. Take care of my baby while you’re in there.”

  I pat my belly. “I’ll always take care of this little one.”

  He grins at me, and then he picks up the vitamins in wonder as I turn and walk toward the bathroom.

  When I come out, he’s on his phone standing in the middle of his family room. “It says here you can’t eat lunch meat, certain kinds of fish, or hot dogs. Have you had hot dogs recently?”

  “Axel, I haven’t had a hot dog since I was ten years old.”

  “You should be sitting. Can I make you anything? Tea?”

  “You don’t have any tea.”

  “Right. I can go get some. Do you have any cravings? Do you need me to buy pickles and peanut butter?”

  “Together? Are you trying to make me throw up?”

  “Go sit on the couch. I’ll find something to make you.”

  “Stop it.” Sitting doesn’t sound bad, actually, so I walk over to the couch. “I don’t need anything. Just you.” I point to the couch beside me. “Right here.”

  He rushes over, still scrolling on his phone. “Did you drink tonight?” He sets the phone down. “Oh my God, Emme, you can’t drink.”

  “I’m well aware of that, and no, I didn’t.”

  “What a
bout at Court’s bachelorette party?”

  I shake my head. “Your mom was intent on getting me wasted, but I didn’t have a drop—even though she ordered me a shot that was poured directly into my mouth.”

  He raises his brows. “My mom?”

  “Yeah, didn’t she tell you?”

  “She told me she went to Court’s shower and that she met you, but she left it at that.”

  “She’s a bit of a wild child.”

  He laughs. “That’s an understatement.”

  “I didn’t even know she was going to be there.”

  “She’s gonna be a grandma.”

  “Don’t tell anyone yet. Let’s see the doctor first and make sure everything’s okay.”

  He nods. “Of course. I kind of like having a little secret that only the two of us know.”

  “And Courtney. And probably Carter.”

  “Carter knows?”

  “I’m not sure Courtney could keep it a secret from him.”

  “True. When did Court find out?”

  “I slipped at her bachelorette party and she made me pee on a stick.”

  He puts both hands over his heart in mock horror. “That bitch!”

  “Right?”

  He laughs. “She’s a good friend.”

  “The very best.”

  He picks up his phone again. “Sushi? Have you had any sushi lately?”

  I roll my eyes. “Stop it. I’m going to go crazy if you’re this overprotective for the next nine months.”

  “Babe, I’m going to be this overprotective for the rest of this child’s life, so you better get used to it now.”

  I smile. It’s a little annoying, but it’s also quite endearing. “I love you.”

  He leans in and presses a sweet kiss to my lips. “I love you too.” He looks down at my stomach and presses a gentle hand there. “And I don’t know you, but I already love you.”

  I feel tears welling in my eyes. I never imagined this would be the night I’d tell him, but it is, and I couldn’t have asked for anything better. We sit in comfortable silence for a few minutes as we both dream about our future—a future together, as a family of three, and who knows how many more after this one?

  I feel his eyes on me. “Are you…are you sure you’re okay with all of this?” he asks.

  “I’m not really used to the idea yet, but yeah…yeah, I am. It feels like this is how it was always supposed to be, you know?”

  “Are you still anti-commitment?”

  I chuckle. “I wouldn’t say I was anti-commitment, I just didn’t see a family in my future. But, now that it’s happening…now that there’s another life involved…” I trail off.

  “You see it now?”

  “I see you holding him in your arms and rocking him to sleep. I see the three of us together, maybe not at The Port, but maybe at the beach or here on this couch or over there in the kitchen. I see us through the years, you, me, and him as he grows up and we grow old…together.”

  “Him?” His eyes gleam with excitement and it makes my heart soar.

  “I don’t know why, but I’m convinced he’s a boy.”

  “Oh yeah? What if I tell you I’m convinced she’s a girl?”

  “Then I’d say you’re wrong.”

  He laughs. “Should we get ready for bed? We’ve got a long day tomorrow and you need your rest.”

  “I thought we had some making up to do.”

  “I don’t want to hurt the baby.”

  “We can still have sex. It’s not going to hurt the baby.”

  “Let’s just make sure. We’ll ask the doctor on Monday.”

  I roll my eyes and nod to his phone. “Why don’t you get out your little internet machine there and look it up?”

  He does, and when he looks at me again, it’s with so much lust in his eyes that it nearly takes my breath away.

  “What did you just read?” I ask.

  “It says your tits are gonna get bigger and you might get hornier.”

  I giggle. “What does it say about having sex?”

  “It says it’s fine. It says it might even help things move along later in your pregnancy.”

  “So you won’t hurt the baby?”

  He shakes his head, and then he turns toward me and kisses my neck. “No, but I’m gonna shove my cock so far up you that he might feel me nudge him a little.”

  “That’s weird.”

  “It’s just daddy saying hi to my little one.”

  I giggle. “Stop it.”

  He chuckles, and then he turns serious. “I’ve missed the hell out of you, Ems.”

  “I’ve missed you, too. This time apart was both necessary and cruel.”

  He nods. “Did you get what you needed from it?”

  “Yeah, it kind of put everything into perspective. It made me see how much I love you, how much I need you.”

  “I need you too, and right now, I need to be inside you.”

  “Then get on in here.”

  He chuckles, and then he stands and scoops me up from the couch before carrying me down the hall to his bedroom.

  I missed this bedroom. I missed these sheets and that big, comfortable bed, and most of all, I missed being naked in that big, comfortable bed with the man I love.

  He sets me down gently—a far cry from the last time we were in here when he tossed me on the bed in a very ungentle way—and then he nudges his way between my legs.

  He leans forward to press a kiss to my mouth, and my hand immediately goes to the back of his head. I hold him there and deepen our kiss.

  We kiss for a few minutes like this, him over the top of me and me holding on to him. It’s finally the reunion I was hoping for.

  He backs off me and gazes down at me for a beat, and there’s so much love in his eyes that it’s almost overwhelming. I hope I’m giving him the same in return.

  He gently helps me up and lifts my dress over my head before setting it on the bed beside us. He stares at my stomach as a seed of self-consciousness takes root in my mind.

  Will he still find me attractive in eight or nine months? Will he still want to be with me when I gain weight or when my ankles swell or when I’m acting like a total bitch because I can’t control my emotions?

  He leans down and presses a kiss to the bare skin of my stomach, and then he says the words that poison those seeds of self-doubt in my mind. “I love you, baby, and I love your mommy. You two are my whole world.”

  Tears heat my eyes, but I force them away.

  He pulls me up and unhooks my bra, and then my breasts fall out in front of him. He grabs them both in his hands and then looks up at me with a wicked grin. “I missed these.”

  I giggle. “They missed you too.”

  “When will they get bigger?”

  I shrug. “You can ask on Monday.”

  “I can’t wait.” He buries his face in them, and then there’s no more talking.

  I lean back and let him work my body with a tender touch. He goes for my panties next, sliding them down my legs. He’s still fully clothed, but I don’t anticipate he will be for long.

  He dives face first between my legs, that sweet beard of his rubbing friction against my legs as his tongue goes to work. I haven’t seen him in ten days, haven’t felt his hands or his tongue against my skin in ten long days. I haven’t felt his touch or his kiss. I haven’t felt his warmth or his pleasure. I haven’t felt his love. It all comes rushing back at me.

  He shoves two fingers inside me while he tongues my clit. He flattens his tongue and laps it against me. I’m overwhelmed with the pleasure I’ve been missing since the last time Axel and I were together.

  He really knows what he’s doing, and I suddenly understand how he felt that day he proposed to me right after we had sex. He’s the only man I want to be with for the rest of my life. It’s not just because of the baby, either, and it’s not just because of the amazing sex. Axel is so much more than those things, and I can’t wait to spend every second of every
day loving every part of him.

  He thrusts his finger in and out of me, and then he curls his fingers upward and I lose all control. I tremble as my legs start to quake, and then I squeeze them together around his head as his tongue works even harder against me while I come.

  I’m spent, but he’s not even close to done with me—and that’s just the way I want it.

  He grins up at me, and he looks absolutely wicked from my angle.

  He lifts off me and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. “I’m going to fuck you now,” he growls.

  “I’m ready.”

  His eyes heat with lust, and I don’t know if I’ve ever seen him get naked so fast. Jeans are pushed to the floor at the same time his shirt is ripped over his head, the perfect cuts of muscle on his chest and stomach screaming for my touch.

  He climbs over me and nudges my legs apart, and then he guides himself into me. His eyes are hot on mine as he starts to move. He holds himself up on one arm, and he leans down and buries his face near my shoulder. That one action is so moving as he pumps in and out of me. Tears start to slide out of my eyes, because even though we’ve had sex plenty of times right here in this very bed, I don’t think he’s ever made love to me like this. I don’t know that I’ve ever felt the love he has for me like this, but tonight, I feel it.

  He lifts his head to kiss me, but he sees the tears first. He stills inside me. “Oh, God. Am I hurting you?”

  I shake my head, too emotional to speak. Instead, I start contracting my muscles around him, doing my Kegels around his cock as it’s buried inside me, and he rears back before pushing forward again. Before I know it, we’re both diving headfirst over the cliff and into an ocean of bliss.

  CHAPTER 32

  EMME

  My alarm wakes me much earlier than I want to be awake, but I have a wedding I need to start getting ready for. I’m scheduled to meet Courtney at the salon at ten, but I need to go home and shower first. Axel volunteers to be my chauffeur for this morning’s events since he doesn’t have to report for best man duty until noon.

  When we pull into my apartment complex, my car is parked in its designated spot.

  “How’d my car get here?”

  “Magic.”

  “Funny. How’d it really get here?”

  “Carson volunteered to drive it.”