William Shakespeare's Alack! of the Clones

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William Shakespeare's Alack! of the Clones Page 5

by Ian Doescher


  SIO

  This bleating must be stopp’d—outrageous ’tis!

  Yet after trials four within the court

  Supreme, Nute Gunray still doth wield his staff

  As viceroy of the Federation. Fie!

  I fear the Senate is too far afield,

  All powerless this crisis to resolve.

  JAMILLIA

  We must, as lambs, look to the larger herd

  And keep faith that our brave Republic shall

  Know how to guide this situation right.

  The day when we are shorn of our belief

  In strong democracy, upon that day

  It shall be lost to us eternally.

  PADMÉ

  In all mine orisons I pray that day

  May never come, your noble Majesty.

  JAMILLIA

  Meanwhile your welfare here is paramount.

  SIO

  Good Master Jedi, what can you suggest

  The senator’s defense to guarantee?

  PADMÉ

  He is no Jedi yet, but Padawan.

  Methought—

  ANAKIN

  —A Padawan, but I may speak.

  PADMÉ

  Yet out of turn, remem’bring not thy place.

  Methought nearby the lakes I could reside,

  By country veil’d in isolation full.

  There shall I be most safe—

  ANAKIN

  —Thy pardon, ma’am,

  Yet I am charg’d with thy security.

  PADMÉ

  This is mine home, I know it better still—

  We have come here so I may hide within.

  It would be wise if thou’dst advantage take

  Of all the knowledge I may bring to bear.

  ANAKIN

  Apologies, my lady, I misspoke.

  JAMILLIA

  Well then, ’tis settl’d—go upon thy way,

  May Fate wind cords of safety ’round you both.

  [Exeunt all but Anakin.

  ANAKIN

  Now have I lost my lady’s heart? Nay, nay,

  E’en though I press too hard, it is not so.

  Vainglorious, O Anakin, art thou,

  E’er with a childlike temper, quick to rev,

  Resulting in my lady’s cutting glance.

  Get hence, O boyish pride, else she shall snub

  Our ev’ry hope for love’s most warm embrace.

  Ne’er show the petulance she just did see,

  Ne’er flash the anger that doth boil within,

  Arrest the beast and bring the man to bear,

  Give her the love you bore your mother, Shmi.

  If this may be, our hearts shall sing in sync,

  Voic’d with such beauty as to make heav’n talk—

  Eternal blessings in my lover’s ear.

  Yet rush thou not impulsively thereto!

  O, Anakin, be ever in control:

  Unveil to her a gentle, caring soul,

  Until she knows that you may trusted be—

  Pace thou the course of love as it doth need.

  [Exit.

  SCENE 3.

  On the planet Coruscant, in the Jedi temple.

  Enter YODA, OBI-WAN KENOBI, and several PADAWAN YOUNGLINGS.

  YODA

  Reach out, sense the Force,

  Yea: around ye always ’tis,

  Use feelings ye must.

  Pray younglings, attend!

  A visitor hither comes:

  Master Obi-Wan.

  PADAWANS

  Good morrow to you, Master Obi-Wan.

  OBI-WAN

  Receive my greeting back, ye younglings small:

  O’er ev’ry challenge may you swiftly rise,

  And I do wish you all a merry day.

  Now pray, forgive my brief disturbance, Master.

  YODA

  ’Tis no disturbance,

  But occasion for learning.

  What help may I be?

  OBI-WAN

  I seek a planet, which a trusted friend

  Hath told me of. His words I think not false,

  Yet no such system shows on th’archive’s maps.

  YODA

  Mmm, a planet whole

  Master Obi-Wan hath lost.

  Such embarrassment!

  [To a youngling:] Liam, I prithee,

  Draw the shades that we may see

  The map diagram.

  Now, your minds clear ye,

  And together shall we find

  This wayward planet.

  [The lights dim as a map of the galaxy is projected before them.

  OBI-WAN

  It should be here, by his coordinates,

  Yet as you plainly see, naught there is found.

  Still, gravity doth work its constant pull

  Upon the stars throughout the area,

  All focus’d on this empty-seeming place.

  YODA

  Gravity’s shadow—

  Yet no star and no planets

  Are there to cast it.

  Disappear’d they have,

  Or so, at least, it seemeth.

  How may’t be, younglings?

  PADAWAN 1

  Good Master Yoda, is it possible

  That someone clear’d the archive’s memory?

  YODA

  Ha, ha! Forsooth, ’tis!

  The minds of children amaze—

  The Padawan has’t.

  Once th’impossible

  Hath been eliminated,

  What remains is truth.

  Fly hence, Obi-Wan,

  Unto gravity’s center:

  Your planet awaits.

  Although unlikely,

  The data you seek eras’d

  Must be, warrant I.

  OBI-WAN

  Yet who might have the power to remove

  This information from the archives, sir?

  Methought such mischief was impossible.

  YODA

  This puzzle is most

  Dangerous and disturbing.

  Verily, ’tis true:

  Only Jedi could

  Remove such information,

  Delete any files.

  Yet who and wherefore,

  This harder to answer is.

  I’ll meditate on’t.

  OBI-WAN

  My thanks, good Master. I shall fly to see

  What lies within, pull’d there by gravity.

  [Exeunt.

  SCENE 4.

  On the planet Naboo, at the lake retreat.

  Enter ANAKIN SKYWALKER and PADMÉ.

  ANAKIN

  This place is passing beautiful, beyond

  What I had e’er imagin’d possible.

  PADMÉ

  I hither came when I was yet a child,

  And would unto that island thither swim,

  My fellow students and my friends withal.

  ’Twas there, within the water’s cool embrace,

  I felt at home, unburthen’d by my cares.

  Upon the sand we all would haply lie,

  And let the sun take ev’ry drop from us.

  There, with my good companions, as we lay

  And nam’d the singing birds by our own whims,

  I was at peace—vast peace beyond compare.

  ANAKIN

  For me the sand hath never been a balm—

  On Tatooine we are encumber’d by

  Too much of its most coarse and unkind touch.

  It is an ever-present irritant,

  Not like the peaceful sands of thy Naboo.

  Here all is soft, like cheeks upon a babe,

  And smooth as sculpted alabaster too.

  [He touches her arm. They kiss.

  PADMÉ

  Nay, it must not be so. I prithee, go—

  Forget this most impulsive incident.

  ANAKIN

  The fault is mine: thy pardon, pray, bestow.

  In twain mine overeager heart is rent.

  [Exit Ana
kin.

  PADMÉ

  Shall these fair shores of my sweet home Naboo

  Become the setting for a tale of love?

  This Anakin doth fully dote on me,

  And mayhap hath since he was but a boy.

  I know not how to meet his earnest love:

  The Jedi’s fond attention doth confuse

  The purpose of my senatorial will.

  His eyes, which burrow deep within my soul,

  Do shake the congress of my prudent wits

  And thus disturb my nature politic.

  His smile, which doth bring light past all degree,

  Doth govern o’er my senses when it shines.

  His spirit—vulnerable, sweet, and kind—

  Doth stand before me like a man condemn’d

  As though ’twere I who could his pardon grant.

  In these perplexing moments doth mine heart

  Quite nearly my shrewd reason overthrow,

  Until I would unto a court of law

  Present myself, and there with strength declare

  That all my being hath election made

  And nam’d him master of mine humble state.

  But soft, this cannot be. I may not so

  Forget myself as to be movèd by

  The sweet campaigning of a lover’s kiss.

  There is a season for the heart’s desires,

  Which is but out of season presently.

  This moment of the Senate’s urgent need

  Doth hold no place for sighs of fickle love.

  I am resolv’d to play the senator,

  Fastidious unto th’Republic’s cause.

  Though Anakin writes me a lover’s role,

  Henceforth I must perform a wiser part

  And let the head take office o’er the heart.

  [Exit.

  SCENE 5.

  Tipoca City on the planet Kamino.

  Enter RUMOR.

  RUMOR

  Unwittingly the lovers miss the mark,

  Naïve whilst Rumor whispers in their ears.

  Veil’d by confusion that doth lead to dark,

  E’en such a one as Anakin hath fears.

  Indeed, his heart is temper’d by cruel fire:

  Love may come forth, but shall by him be spoil’d.

  Eventu’lly, as Rumor doth conspire,

  Deep in mistrust their love shall be embroil’d.

  In this doth Rumor ply her merry wiles:

  Suspicion in their minds e’er I foment.

  Kenobi, meanwhile, searcheth on for miles,

  Aye, to my puckish will shall he be bent.

  Misunderstanding what it is he seeks,

  In truth he shall find more than he expects.

  Now hurriedly he to Kamino sneaks,

  Oblivious to Rumor’s web complex.

  [Exit Rumor.

  Enter OBI-WAN KENOBI with the droid R4-P17.

  OBI-WAN

  Unto the hidden system I have come;

  As Master Yoda guess’d, it doth exist.

  A ship, a droid, and the coordinates

  Reveal a planet that hath tried to hide.

  The secret system is not empty, nay,

  And gravity hath told a story true:

  Mysterious Kamino doth appear.

  Pray let us go, R4, and learn its tale.

  My scan reveals a settlement below,

  We shall make landing there, whate’er befall.

  This driving rain brings tiding of some ill—

  What doth this fury of the skies portend?

  [The ship lands on the planet’s surface.

  R4-P17

  Bleep, zing?

  OBI-WAN

  —I pray, remain here with the ship.

  [Exit R4-P17 as Obi-Wan enters the cloning facility.

  Enter TAUN WE.

  TAUN WE

  Good Master Jedi, salutations, sir.

  Our high prime minister sends his regards.

  OBI-WAN

  I am expected? [Aside:] ’Tis impossible!

  TAUN WE

  Indeed, ’tis well to meet you in our home,

  Since we so long have been in touch with you.

  OBI-WAN

  Such wondrous mysteries I find herein!

  TAUN WE

  Give us but time, and you shall have yet more.

  Come now, and I shall show you on your way.

  They approach another chamber. Enter LAMA SU.

  Our high prime minister, e’en Lama Su.

  OBI-WAN

  My greetings—for this welcome I give thanks.

  TAUN WE

  [to Lama Su:] I hope from now you shall more

  better know…

  OBI-WAN

  My name is Obi-Wan Kenobi, sir.

  LAMA SU

  I trust your visit here is worth its length.

  So we may then proceed with business:

  All is on schedule, as it hath been plann’d.

  Two hundred thousand we may give you now;

  A million further we may proffer soon.

  OBI-WAN

  ’Tis well. You make a suitable report.

  LAMA SU

  Our thanks deliver we in multitudes.

  Let Master Sifo-Dyas be at peace:

  All things run to completion in their time.

  OBI-WAN

  [aside:] A name far past. [To Lama Su:] Say,

  Sifo-Dyas, sir?

  LAMA SU

  A leader of the Jedi Council, aye?

  OBI-WAN

  With spirit grave I must make this report:

  The Jedi Master Sifo-Dyas hath

  Been dead for lo this decade gone and past.

  LAMA SU

  More sorry I, for he would be most proud—

  The army we have built for him’s immense.

  OBI-WAN

  An army? Did he say whom it was for?

  LAMA SU

  To strengthen the Republic noble’s cause.

  OBI-WAN

  Pray, may I see this army for myself?

  ’Tis wherefore I have to Kamino come.

  TAUN WE

  ’Tis our delight, pray, let us thither go.

  [Obi-Wan, Lama Su, and Taun We begin touring the clone facility.

  LAMA SU

  This vast clone army we have built may be

  The best that we have e’er created yet.

  The clones themselves can think creatively,

  Thus are they unto droids superior,

  Their combat training is our greatest strength.

  The group you see below is five years old,

  Though you shall see they older do appear—

  ’Tis growth acceleration makes it so.

  To speed their growth is indispensable;

  Thus clones may be mature in far less time

  Than if we were to wait a lifetime full:

  ’Tis done in half the time with this technique.

  The clones are utterly obedient:

  They take the orders giv’n sans questioning.

  Their genes have through our toil been modified

  To take away the independence from

  The host, the subject, the original:

  The bounty hunter known as Jango Fett.

  To keep him safe, he liveth here, with us.

  The only thing he did of us demand—

  That is, apart from his most ample pay—

  ’Twas to receive a clone that he could keep:

  True and unalter’d, not made pliable,

  The replicate exact of his own genes,

  Touch’d not by an accelerated growth:

  This clone he raiseth as a cherish’d son.

  OBI-WAN

  I should delight to meet this Jango Fett.

  May such a meeting be arrang’d?

  TAUN WE

  ’Tis our delight, pray, let us thither go.

  [She leads him to Jango Fett’s chamber.

  Enter JANGO FETT and BOBA FETT.

  OB
I-WAN

  Are you the bounty hunter Jango Fett?

  I am a Jedi, Obi-Wan Kenobi.

  Your clones are most remarkable, sirrah.

  Methinks you must be very proud, indeed.

  JANGO

  Pride is a misstep on which one may easily slip. For

  my part, I am but a humble man who seeks to wend

  his way through the galaxy—I’ve no pride thereof.

  OBI-WAN

  Hath your e’er-wending way led you as far

  Into th’interior as Coruscant?

  JANGO

  E’en once, mayhap twice.

  OBI-WAN

  ’Twas once and twice and mayhap recently?

  JANGO

  Recently is possible—would that I could remember.

  OBI-WAN

  For certain, then, you must familiar be

  With Jedi Master Sifo-Dyas, aye?

  JANGO

  [to Boba:] Ka Boba, rood eht so-heeck. [To Obi-Wan:]

  O, Master who?

  [Boba shuts a door, hiding Jango’s bounty hunter uniform.

  OBI-WAN

  The name is Sifo-Dyas. Was’t not he

  Who for this cloning task employ’d you here?

  JANGO

  Ne’er have I heard tell of the man.

  OBI-WAN

  But are you sure he is not known to you?

  JANGO

  Dear sir, mine employment came from one who was

  Tyranus call’d. E’en on a moon of Bogden did he

  make arrangement for to hire me.

  OBI-WAN

  Your words do run from strange to stranger, yea.

  JANGO

  Your questions at an end, now I shall ask:

  Do you approve of this strong army?

  OBI-WAN

  I shall delight to see what they can do.

 

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