William Shakespeare's Alack! of the Clones

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William Shakespeare's Alack! of the Clones Page 7

by Ian Doescher


  OBI-WAN

  Indeed, I shall report when he is mine.

  [Exeunt Obi-Wan and R4-P17.

  YODA

  Most blind we have been,

  If this army’s creation

  We ne’er did foresee.

  MACE

  Belike ’tis time to tell the Senate that

  The Council’s aptitude to use the Force

  Hath been diminish’d; aye, in the extreme.

  A shock to th’system this indeed shall be,

  Yet pride is worse than deep humility.

  YODA

  Only one, e’en he—

  The vile dark lord of the Sith—

  Knoweth our weakness.

  If, then, the Senate

  Of this fault are giv’n to know,

  Our enemies grow.

  [Exeunt.

  SCENE 3.

  On the planet Naboo.

  Enter ANAKIN SKYWALKER.

  ANAKIN

  What nightmares viciously infect my mind?

  My mother, gracious woman, kind and sweet—

  She cries for me as though rack’d by some plague,

  By some disease or deadly pestilence

  She hath been set upon—O, mother dear!

  Thine agony resounds throughout my soul

  And doth contaminate my better self.

  So sleep is vanish’d all too suddenly

  And I do rise too early in the night,

  As doth the bile that rises in my soul.

  Enter PADMÉ.

  PADMÉ

  Thou hast not slept aright these many nights,

  If thou wouldst rest anon, I’ll give thee peace.

  ANAKIN

  Thy presence doth turn wrongs into their rights,

  ’Tis peace itself and brings my mind release.

  PADMÉ

  Thou had a visitation of a spirit—

  A demon of the night to work you woe.

  If thou wouldst fain recount, I’d haply hear it,

  And share the pain that thou dost undergo.

  ANAKIN

  A Jedi should be strong, with nightmares none.

  PADMÉ

  I heard thee in the night, most piteous.

  ANAKIN

  It was my mother: weak, distress’d, undone,

  The vision rank was passing venomous.

  Yet there is more: ’tis not just boyish fright—

  My mother suffering, which I did see,

  The sounds and scenes that came to me by night

  Are echoes of some present misery.

  She was as plain to me as thou art now,

  And is the subject of some grievous pain.

  To give thee my protection is my vow,

  Yet such made I in boyhood’s zeal most vain.

  I must forsake that vow and go from thee:

  I was still boy when first our tale began,

  But now, by mine own mother’s agony,

  The boy is gone, and so departs the man.

  PADMÉ

  If thou shalt go, then I shall go withal,

  Thy path shall be my path, thy pain as well.

  ANAKIN

  If I could choose, I would not need this call:

  A mother’s anguish doth my soul compel.

  PADMÉ

  Naboo we leave, with all its dreamlike sheen,

  And greet the morn to fly to Tatooine!

  [Exeunt.

  SCENE 4.

  On the planet Kamino, in Tipoca City.

  Enter JANGO FETT and BOBA FETT, preparing their ship to depart.

  JANGO

  Now all’s prepar’d, and we shall fly anon. The prying

  of the Jedi soon is past. ’Tis true Kamino hath provided

  most lucrative and simple employment. Yet now the

  welcome hath been made unwell, and thus I fly.

  BOBA

  Behold, father, the Jedi cometh!

  Enter OBI-WAN KENOBI, brandishing his lightsaber.

  JANGO

  Pray, Boba, flee aboard the ship! Now die, thou

  Jedi half-man.

  [As he flies into the air with his jetpack, Jango shoots at Obi-Wan.

  OBI-WAN

  The bounty hunter flies—his lasers, too—

  Yet I am quick and parry easily.

  His boy hath now the ship engag’d to leave,

  But Obi-Wan hath writ another end.

  JANGO

  Lasers hath not giv’n you trouble enow, yet may my

  rocket’s thunder still enthrall.

  [Jango fires a rocket at Obi-Wan, whose lightsaber is knocked from his hand.

  OBI-WAN

  Alas, what blast—my lightsaber is gone!

  BOBA

  Now I shall join the fray—feel the fire of Slave One’s

  deadly aim.

  [Boba fires upon Obi-Wan from within the ship.

  OBI-WAN

  The villain flies to me—feel thou my kick!

  If we in combat shall meet hand to hand,

  I’ll warrant thou shalt by me bested be.

  JANGO

  In combat you are skill’d, Jedi. E’en now, feel

  all the power of my wire!

  [Jango shoots a cable around Obi-Wan’s wrists and flies away.

  OBI-WAN

  ’Tis but a merry ride—is this thy worst?

  Though by this wire thou pullest me along,

  This platform’s pillars shall be stronger still.

  [Obi-Wan stops his fall by tying the cable around a pillar, stopping Jango’s flight.

  JANGO

  My jetpack gone, I take a raucous slam. Lo, now

  the Jedi comes again—he kicketh me, I fall!

  OBI-WAN

  He falls, yet is still bound to me by wire—

  Thus his fall doth become mine own anon.

  O, Obi-Wan, say wilt thou never learn?

  [Together they begin to fall down the side of the landing platform.

  JANGO

  This shall not be the end of Jango Fett. Let these,

  mine armor’d blades, quickly stop my fall. From there,

  may I untwine this Jedi from myself. Yea, thus the Fetts

  do win the day.

  OBI-WAN

  He hath releas’d me. Thus my fall is free,

  But still have I this wire wherewith to work.

  I prithee, Fate, knit me a mighty cord:

  Let your cord and this wire be e’en as one!

  The wire I toss—it catches ’round a pipe!

  Again, Fate weaves for me a close escape.

  [Jango spies over the precipice and sees no sign of Obi-Wan.

  JANGO

  Yea, now the Jedi is dispatch’d unto the briny depths—

  farewell, most weak adversary. To the ship, and we

  shall swiftly depart.

  OBI-WAN

  This portal may I take back to the platform,

  And fight another round with Jango Fett.

  [Obi-Wan enters the lift.

  BOBA

  My father hath defeated the Jedi scum. Thus, we go!

  [Exeunt Jango and Boba as their ship starts to fly. Obi-Wan reenters.

  OBI-WAN

  I am too late to stop this Jango Fett

  And render him unto the Council wise.

  Yet by this keen device he may be mine—

  [Obi-Wan throws a tracking device onto Jango Fett’s ship.

  Thus do your work and track his fleeing ship:

  I slip this in though he gives me the slip.

  [Exit.

  SCENE 5.

  On the planet Tatooine.

  Enter PADMÉ, ANAKIN SKYWALKER, and R2-D2.

  Enter WATTO severally.

  ANAKIN

  O, chut, chut, Watto. Ding me chasa holp’.

  WATTO

  Gibudah, eh? Du bana biotah?

  Nuh chada Jedi? Robata, nuhdoo!

  ANAKIN

  [aside:] He thinketh I have come to bring him grief,


  For though he is not swift of wit, he knows

  The dress and tools that make a Jedi Knight.

  Now, to’t. [To Watto:] Me bosha di Shmi Skywalker.

  WATTO

  ’Tis Ani? Little Ani? Aye, ’tis you!

  Most verily you like a bud did sprout.

  A Jedi now, indeed? Mayhap you could

  Give me persistence with some brigands vile

  Who owe me money? Show your Jedi strength?

  ANAKIN

  My mother is mine only purpose here.

  WATTO

  Indeed, your Shmi. She is no longer mine.

  I sold her.

  ANAKIN

  —Sold her?

  WATTO

  —Years ago ’twas done.

  Apologies, dear Ani, but so goes

  The straying: business is business.

  I sold her to a moisture farmer, Lars,

  And thereupon I heard he married her.

  Sand’s not so harsh but love may make it smooth.

  ANAKIN

  Canst tell me where my mother may be found?

  WATTO

  ’Tis far, beyond Mos Eisley, I believe.

  ANAKIN

  I fain would know where.

  WATTO

  —Obsoletely, aye!

  Pray, come and I’ll my chronicles review.

  [Anakin and Watto walk aside.

  PADMÉ

  For this dear friend, this precious Anakin,

  Mine heart doth worry with a troubl’d beat.

  He doth attempt to show an aspect strong,

  But in his visage doth his fear emerge

  As though ’twere tattoo’d on his gallant face.

  And though he loves me, when he loves me not,

  Chaos is come again. Such do I fear,

  For he is like a sail upon the wind,

  E’er buffeted upon the roiling waves

  Of his most tender and e’er-changing moods.

  Row steady, captain of my stormy heart,

  Let not thy rudder turn at ev’ry surge.

  R2-D2

  [aside:] O, would that some solace could provide

  Unto this lady, tender, sweet, and true.

  [Exit Watto as Anakin returns.

  ANAKIN

  My mother is not here, but farther on.

  Wilt thou go with me, gentle lady? Speak.

  PADMÉ

  I will, and shall—pray, let us go anon

  And find the one thou earnestly dost seek.

  I prithee, good R2, stay with the ship,

  This is a journey we shall make alone.

  Remain, and here our vessel strong equip,

  That when ’tis done, we may from here be flown.

  R2-D2

  Beep, squeak, beep, whistle, meep, beep, whistle, woo.

  [Aside:] Loath am I to make my departure hence,

  For e’en a fool as R2 can infer

  The trouble that awaits on Tatooine.

  I do not know how this grim tale shall end,

  Though hope doth still resound within my wires.

  Aye, peradventure all may still end well.

  [Exit R2-D2 as Padmé and Anakin journey toward the Lars homestead.

  ANAKIN

  Lo, thither in the distance I do see

  The homestead whereof Watto spoke of late.

  Belike my mother waits there presently,

  Although mine instincts other truths relate.

  Enter C-3PO.

  C-3PO

  Holla! May I some honest service render?

  My name is call’d C—

  ANAKIN

  —Threepio, ’tis thee?

  C-3PO

  The maker, even Master Anakin!

  I knew you would return to me one day.

  And Lady Padmé, by my droidly troth!

  PADMÉ

  Fair greetings, Threepio.

  C-3PO

  —O, bless my circuits!

  Forsooth, it doth me well to see you here.

  ANAKIN

  I have return’d to see my mother, Shmi.

  C-3PO

  Indeed. [Aside:] O etiquette, O protocol!

  [To Anakin:] Perhaps it would be best to walk indoors.

  There may my master Lars her tale unfold.

  Enter OWEN LARS and BERU WHITESUN as the group enters the Lars homestead.

  OWEN

  C-3PO?

  C-3PO

  —Good Master Owen, might

  I introduce two noble visitors?

  ANAKIN

  Know ye my name? I’m Anakin Skywalker.

  OWEN

  I Owen Lars, and this my lass, Beru.

  BERU

  Good morrow, sir.

  PADMÉ

  —And I am Padmé call’d.

  OWEN

  [to Anakin:] I’ faith, your name is known to me,

  good sir.

  It seemeth I am stepbrother to you.

  Methought that you might someday here arrive:

  That day hath come.

  ANAKIN

  —Yet is my mother here?

  Enter CLIEGG LARS.

  CLIEGG

  Alack, for this must be the answer: nay.

  My name is Cliegg, and Shmi is my dear wife.

  Pray, step within, for I have much to say.

  ANAKIN

  [aside:] Confusion! I, who ne’er had family,

  In searching for the one hath found three more?

  I did not seek a wealth of relatives,

  Such riches ne’er did dwell in my desires.

  Still they are here, and fortune should be mine,

  Except my mother doth her richness hide.

  [They enter the Lars homestead and sit at a table.

  CLIEGG

  I prithee, rest awhile and hear my tale:

  ’Twas just e’er dawn not many days ago,

  They came from nowhere, like a sudden storm:

  The Tusken Raiders in their vicious might.

  Your mother had departed early on,

  As was her wont, to gather mushrooms, which

  Upon the moisture vaporators grow.

  The story that her footprints do impart

  Relate that she had reach’d the half-point home

  When she by Tusken Raiders was beset.

  The Tuskens do as humans walk and talk,

  Yet in their hearts are fill’d with viciousness

  That doth befit a monster, not a man.

  Full thirty able souls did venture forth

  To find her; only four of us return’d.

  Such slaughter mine eyes never wish’d to see,

  Brought on by their brutality extreme.

  Yea, I would thither be a’searching still

  Were not my leg a victim of their wrath.

  I cannot ride again until I heal,

  And then shall I resume the search once more.

  My stubborn heart will not admit defeat,

  Though she is gone for lo this full moon past.

  I would not give up hope, though little hope

  Remains that she has strength t’endure this long.

  [Anakin rises.

  OWEN

  Pray, whither would you go, O, Anakin?

  ANAKIN

  To find a mother by some other means

  Than telling tales of lost and shatter’d hope.

  CLIEGG

  Your mother must be dead, son, let it be.

  ANAKIN

  Acceptance is a fashion ill-befitting—

  Yea, such a garment I’ll not rush to wear.

  I say, if you would talk of letting be,

  Then let me be and do restrain me not.

  You are prepar’d to say that she is lost,

  But I shall speak not so till I have proof.

  My mother to the last I’ll strive to find,

  Thus not to dance too quickly on her grave.

  [Exeunt Cliegg Lars, Owen Lars, Beru Whitesun, and C-3PO.

  PADMÉ
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  O, troubl’d soul, how may I give thee aid,

  And what words speak that I may succor give?

  ANAKIN

  I prithee, stay thou here, be not dismay’d,

  These people have kind souls, as I do live.

  Thou shalt be safe shouldst thou with them remain.

  PADMÉ

  Courageous man! Mine heart with thine’s entwin’d.

  ANAKIN

  This moment doth beget a bitter pain:

  My love I leave, another love to find.

  [Exeunt.

  SCENE 6.

  Outer space, near the planet Geonosis.

  Enter RUMOR.

  RUMOR

  Bold Anakin doth search both near and far,

  E’en as his mother groans on Tatooine.

  His sharp confusion, fear, and anger are

  Old friends full welcome unto Rumor’s scene.

  Let him in his despair, at his young age,

  Deny the Jedi training that he knows,

  Thus spend his fury, satisfy his rage,

  His mother to defend by hearty blows.

  E’en thus doth Rumor lead him to the edge,

  Burn deep within the furnace of his mind.

  And thus, for love of mother, shall he pledge

  To maim and kill whomever he may find.

  The scene here doth return to Obi-Wan,

  Led by a small device to distant shore,

  Ere he hath left, his mind shall wildly run—

  So Rumor multiplies her whispers more.

  Come ye unto the scene: behold the Fetts

  Endeavor to destroy the Jedi Knight,

  Now Obi-Wan is caught within their nets.

  Enough of talk: bear witness to the fight!

  [Exit Rumor.

  Enter JANGO FETT and BOBA FETT on balcony, in ship. Enter OBI-WAN KENOBI and R4-P17 below, pursuing in Obi-Wan’s ship.

 

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