Oh, of course she’d offer to help, wouldn’t she? So willing and eager to please. Which was exactly what he wanted and yet everything he didn’t, all at the same time.
Her expression dimmed and a frown slowly formed. ‘If you’re in a mood I’ll leave you to your thoughts.’
Again, everything he wanted and didn’t want.
‘You confuse me,’ he ground out. ‘Or rather my feelings for you confuse me.’
She reached out for the railing beside him and held on as tightly as he was. ‘You have feelings for me?’
He cleared his throat, grimacing at his uncustomary clumsiness. He did not struggle to think around women. And he never let them wonder what he wanted or definitely didn’t want from them.
‘Perhaps urges would be a better word.’
He heard a soft gasp and her bubbling laugh warmed the air. ‘Oh. Those.’
‘You have them too?’ He shot her a sideways look, unable to stop his own small smile.
As her gaze meshed with his her laugh dissolved into a sigh. ‘I’m trying to ignore them.’ She bit her lip.
‘Why?’ And how?
‘To prove to myself that I can.’
He frowned. Why did she need to do that? She’d been so sheltered, and she seemed far too focused on self-control. Alessandro knew that life was short, and Katie seemed to have spent all of hers so far trying to please other people. Why couldn’t she just please herself for once?
That temptation spiralled. He knew that her pleasing herself would definitely please him.
‘Okay, so how are you going to reward yourself?’ He released the railing and moved closer to her. He simply couldn’t resist any more. ‘Once you’ve proved your self-control?’
Her eyes widened with every step he took. Her quickened breath was gratifying. Maybe it wasn’t as easy as all that for her to ignore those urges.
His body tightened in response and readiness. Damn this restraint. He was sick of trying to be a goddamn hero—it wasn’t a natural fit. In the school of life he was a player, not a prefect.
‘How am I going to...what?’ she asked breathlessly.
He smiled at her distraction. ‘Going to reward yourself?’ He stopped right beside her. ‘It seems to me that you’re very good at doing what others ask of you. You’re very good at keeping yourself in check. Very good at doing what you need to.’ Or not doing what she thought she shouldn’t. ‘So how do you reward yourself?’
She didn’t—that was obvious.
‘The reward is in the action,’ she said, her nose wrinkling, as if she were confused by his question. ‘By doing—or in this case not doing—I feel good.’
Did she really? He didn’t think so. He thought she felt as achy and restless as he did. She was watching him too keenly, her whole body was strained. And, heaven help him, he could see the sharp outline of her nipples against the pretty fabric of her dress.
‘But it isn’t going away, Katie. In fact, it’s only getting worse.’ Which was intensely unusual for him.
Her luminous eyes widened. ‘Are you suggesting that my reward for not tangling with you should be for me to tangle with you?’
‘You don’t actually have to do anything.’ He reached out to run his hand the length of her shining hair. It was a beacon he could no longer ignore. ‘You can just lie there and take your reward, dolcezza.’
He wanted her on a bed—writhing, welcoming, arching in ecstasy. What he’d do to make her scream... She’d be so beautiful.
Sheer shock immobilised her, and then desire glazed her eyes. ‘Alessandro...’
It was a caution. But it was also shy need.
And it was surrender.
He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her to him. He stared down at her, reading her expression, the softness and the sensual tension in her body. She put her hands on his chest—but not to push away. In fact she arched nearer. Her lips parted on a pout, her breathing hitched. She wanted to touch as much as he did. She was every bit as willing.
‘Let me be your reward,’ he dared her huskily.
‘I’m afraid you’re my poison,’ she shivered. But her hands slid up his chest, shyly exploring. ‘You’re such temptation...’
He shook his head, leaning closer, his body aching for her fingers to skim further. ‘That’s you.’
‘You can turn any woman on,’ she moaned. ‘It’s so unfair.’
‘If you like I can give you some pointers.’
She half laughed and looked down, letting the fall of her hair hide her face.
He cupped her chin and made her look up into his eyes. ‘I’m not going to apologise for my past, Katie. But you must know this kind of chemistry doesn’t happen every day. It’s rare. And seemingly almost impossible to restrain.’
‘You’re just saying that...’ she mumbled.
‘No, I’m not. But even so it’s still just nothing...’ he whispered, brushing closer to her. It was always nothing.
‘Can something this intense be just nothing?’ she asked.
He groaned at what her question gave away. He didn’t answer. He couldn’t. All he could do now was succumb to the savage need to kiss her. He’d show, not tell.
Intense, yes. Nothing, yes.
His relief at her immediate response lasted mere seconds before restraint became almost impossible. Her lips were luscious and pillowy and so sweet. He tried to ease back so he didn’t bruise her, but he heard her little moan of outrage and felt her rise on tiptoes to keep him close. And instead of easing back he slipped his leash—smashing his lips on hers, almost brutal in his possession.
And she met him, matched him. Her hands slid around to his back and held him tighter. Her tongue lashed against his...her breasts pressed close to his chest. He lost his breath, lost his reason. He was unable to resist deepening everything—taking them swiftly to a desperation beyond anything even he’d felt.
Desire combusted. He ought to release her and run—lock himself away until he had himself under control again. But he ached to hear her scream and see her sated—to see the smile of satisfaction on her lips. Determination flared as he felt her trembling need and the tight clasp of her fingers on his shirt. He could control himself enough to see her release. He could make this about her. It was the only acceptable outcome now.
‘It’s only a moment, Katie.’ He was reminding himself as much as reassuring her. ‘Only to ease the ache.’
He picked her up and carried her through the open doors before reason could return. He gently placed her in the centre of her big bed, determined not to take everything. He’d not give in to the urge to claim her completely. Not for him that ultimate pleasure. Not with her. She deserved more than he could ever offer her.
But he could give her something. He kissed her, swept away by all the sensations of touching and tasting her—all caramel and honey, silken warm curves. He didn’t undress—not himself, nor her. It was the only way to maintain his control. Because in those kisses he’d felt her shivering surrender.
She softened, her legs spreading, offering more than she could possibly realise. He couldn’t resist cupping her. Fury swamped him as he felt her damp heat through the thin barrier of her panties.
‘How dare you deny yourself when you’re this hot?’ he rasped. ‘Why do you hold back from something you really want?’
He was oddly furious, because this was about more than this moment with him now. This was about her whole life. She’d denied herself so much.
‘You should have what you want,’ he told her roughly, bending to tend to her hungry mouth. ‘You should always have what you want. What you deserve.’
He wanted to see her undone...all the way to completion. He hated the way she treated herself. As if she believed she didn’t deserve more.
She trembled as he strummed her lightly and kissed her hard. She moaned
into his mouth, her body rippling beneath his. He lifted his head and stared at her. They’d barely started and she’d ignited. So on the edge. So needy. She’d been restrained too long...as if she were afraid to have her voice heard.
He wanted to hear her voice—her scream. It shot him to the edge too. He wanted time to cease so he could hang in this moment, where he had her where he wanted her—spread before him, hot and wet and willing. He choked on his own groan, holding back as he felt her full-bodied feminine response to his touch.
She was so supple, sweet, eager. Her scent, her warmth, all her responses were beautiful. His body tightened to the point of pain, and the urge to claim and conquer almost overpowered him. He was close to losing his head. But it was imperative to him that she should feel maximum pleasure. This time the desire to please was all his.
Focus only on her. Utterly on her.
* * *
Katie gasped, struggling to hold herself together. She shouldn’t just lie here...she should touch him back... But what he was doing felt too good, and the reckless desire consuming her was uncontrollable. The ache was so much more than she could handle. She couldn’t deny herself, couldn’t make herself move—too scared to in case he stopped. She wanted his touch more than she’d ever wanted anything. And he knew it.
He let out a low little laugh—the sexiest sound she’d ever heard—and teased and stoked the flames higher. He kissed her with fierce passion, only to ease back again, roving leisurely down her neck to nibble along the neckline of her dress. Her breasts tightened, wanting some of his attention. But his hands swept down her sides, lifting the silk dress to skim across her thighs.
She sighed, lifting her hips as he sought out her secrets, guiding her along a rapid current of heat and want. Her lips felt hot and a little swollen, and all she wanted was for him to kiss her again—to tease his tongue inside her mouth the way he had before. She ached for the weight of him above her, for him to pin her down and fix her in place with his powerful body.
She couldn’t say it, couldn’t ask. She could only clutch the sheet beneath her to help hold back her screams.
He lifted his head to look down at her with those smouldering eyes. ‘I dare you to do what you want, say what you want—to take what you want, when you want it.’ His words were slightly slurred and his strokes up her inner thigh quickened.
‘You don’t think I’ve done that already?’
She circled her hips again on pure instinct, wanting him to go higher, wanting more to the point of madness. Wanting it enough to be provoked into answering with all the rebellion she’d normally deny herself.
‘Are we not now married because I was ballsy enough to ask you?’
‘You were compelled to do that because you wanted to protect Susan.’ He stroked her higher, faster, and lowered his head until his mouth was tantalisingly close to hers. ‘But you didn’t want to marry anyone. Not Carl. Not me either. You did what you thought you had to, for someone else. When did you last do something for yourself?’
He was teasing, tormenting, pushing her, whispering provocation against her lips.
Silently she stared up at him and pushed her legs a little further apart, granting him unrestricted access. Wordlessly telling him what she wanted.
He slid his hand higher, almost to where she ached most.
‘You don’t do it often enough,’ Alessandro growled. ‘What do you want, Katie? Tell me.’
‘Kiss me,’ she whispered in a breathless rush.
In an instant her wish was granted. His kiss was carnal and hot, and at the exact moment his tongue plundered her mouth his fingers teased her secret, most sensitive spot. It took only that stroke and suddenly all the fireworks in the world exploded within her.
She screamed as intense convulsions radiated from where he cupped her core. She twisted in his arms but he didn’t release her. His mouth moved to her neck, kissing her while his fingers kept up the delicious torture that tore her into nothing but shreds of sensation.
‘So hot. So quick.’ A soft exultant laugh followed the last echo of her cries. ‘You can’t tell me you didn’t need that.’
She couldn’t answer because she couldn’t move. She couldn’t see how she was ever going to recover from something that felt so good.
He gently caressed her, keeping her close until the orgasmic quivers began to ease. She felt boneless, weightless, as if she were floating along a warm river of bliss. She opened her eyes and looked straight into his.
The remnants of his smile faded as he gazed down at her until lines of tension bracketed his mouth. When she arched her back just a little his jaw clenched. And as he lost the battle to mask his strain a new energy coiled within her—embers to spark that driving desire.
Not enough.
The sharp knife of need sliced through the last vestige of her relief.
More.
It should have been impossible—only a moment ago she’d experienced an intense orgasm, the most intimate embrace of her life. But he’d roused a hunger she’d never known she had, nor that she was capable of. She needed to know—to share all of herself with him and have him with her...in her. What he’d just done wasn’t enough, and she had not done enough.
But at the exact moment she realised that he pushed away from her, vaulting off the bed.
‘Where are you going?’ His vehement speed had shocked the question out of her.
‘Out. Before I do something I promised us both that I wouldn’t.’
‘Alessandro—’
‘No.’ He shook his head.
Her heart pounded. ‘But you...’ She trailed off, unable to say it. He hadn’t had the release she’d had.
His lips twisted as he read her expression. ‘I’ll survive.’
‘But—’
He stepped forward with a swift movement and pressed his hands into the mattress either side of her head, as if he didn’t trust himself to touch her again.
‘Don’t.’
‘But—’
With a growl he bent and caught her mouth in a kiss. She melted, opening to let him in, curling her tongue around his hungrily, the way he’d taught her. But too soon he tore away, with a choked noise in the back of his throat.
He didn’t speak until he got to the door. Even then he didn’t look back.
‘Sweet dreams, Katie.’
CHAPTER NINE
IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE to relax, to forget, to deny, because the bone-deep satisfaction didn’t stay—instead bitterness and confusion built.
But worst of all was the desire. It surged more powerful than ever, pacing within her like a creature of the wild, caged in a prison too small. It strengthened with every unstoppable memory—every caress, every kiss that she couldn’t forget—until finally it morphed into a fire of frustration that flashed through her system, rendering sleep impossible.
After a few burning restless hours she gave up trying. Needing to cool down, she walked out through the open doorway from her bedroom to the courtyard. The moon cast a silvery path on the darkened water and in the far distance moored boats gleamed in the moonlight. Gentle waves lapped against the beach below.
‘You can’t sleep?’
His low query didn’t startle her. Somehow she’d known he’d be out here too.
And of course she couldn’t sleep.
Alessandro was sitting at the table where they’d dined, his expression indecipherable in the shadows. But his tone held an edge of mockery. Her frustration flared but she refused to react. She wasn’t going to try to provoke him again. She was ignoring that shameless, wilful part of herself.
‘It’s beautiful,’ she murmured, turning back to the water and trying to think of something innocuous to mask her inner turmoil. ‘No wonder you come here as often as you can.’
Her tension pulled tighter when he didn’t reply. She wrapped her arms around her
waist, even though her new silk nightdress was already too hot. She was conscious of her breathing, aware of the distance between them, of the thrum of desire beating relentlessly in her veins.
She finally looked from the water back to him. She could see the gorgeous gleam of his eyes but couldn’t read anything in it. Earlier he’d left her so easily. Which meant he’d not really wanted her. It hadn’t even been a game for him, so why had he...?
She couldn’t hold back the question. ‘Alessandro—?’
‘Go back to bed, Katie,’ he forestalled her huskily.
‘No.’
‘Katie...’
She hated that tone. ‘You don’t want my gratitude?’ She tossed her head proudly. ‘Then I don’t want your pity.’
‘Pardon?’ A thread of molten steel had entered his voice.
Power flowed through her veins. Control. Pride. Dignity. This was what she needed to do. She needed to tell him what she didn’t want.
‘Don’t do me any more favours.’
‘Is that what you think that was?’ He pushed back from the table, his chair scraping loudly on the flagstones. ‘I can’t—’
‘You don’t want to,’ she snapped.
‘Katie—’ His muttered oath rubbished her accusation. ‘There’s no going back.’
Her anger sparked at his hesitation, at his treatment of her as a naive fool. ‘You told me to ask for what I wanted. I finally did. But then you walked away.’
He stood, planted his feet wide and stared at her like a determined statue. Too damned heroic.
‘I’ve been regretting it ever since.’
He regretted stopping? Excitement roared through her at his response.
‘Be very sure about your next move, dolcezza. Because if you ask again I’ll say yes. And I won’t leave. Not until we’re both done.’
Could she be this selfish—take more from him?
‘But I can’t give you everything you want,’ he added harshly. ‘I’ll never be able to do that.’
‘How do you know everything I want?’ she replied, her spirits rising. ‘I’ve never said I wanted “everything” from you. I just want now with you. Just for me.’
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