“Crickets,” Ian said, giving his scruffy beard a scratch. “I’ve got the next couple hours, then Fitz will be taking over.”
“Good job.” Asher patted the top of the cruiser. “Keep alert.”
“Always.” Ian nodded.
Confident that his fellow cops were going to make sure no one got through Remy’s door, Asher strode off, spice emanating from the bag he carried. After Violi visited Remy’s shop, Asher installed a motion video camera near the counter. If anyone broke into her store, Asher would know about it. Besides, Boone had video cameras watching Kinsley’s bar and Peyton’s lingerie shop, which extended to Remy’s shop. No one was getting anywhere near the front door. That’s why Asher put the protective detail in the back. When he reached the metal steps at the back of Remy’s shop, he trotted up and knocked on the door of her loft.
It opened a second later to a breathless Remy. “Get in quick.”
“What’s wrong?” He stormed inside, shutting the door behind him and locking it.
“It’s my herbs.” She was already hurrying through her living room. She was up the stairs and vanished a moment later.
Asher shook his head and followed her. When he got into her bedroom, he found the balcony door open and he headed outside, finding she’d pulled down another set of metal stairs on the side of the building and was climbing up. Careful not to kill himself on the ladder, he climbed up, holding the bag of food tight in his arm.
When he made it onto the roof, he found Remy kneeling down in the middle of a long rows of raised garden beds. Strings of Edison bulbs ran from one length of the roof garden to the other, casting a warm glow over it. Behind her there was a small greenhouse. A pergola covered in ivy with a wooden swing underneath sat nearby.
“I had no idea you had this up here,” Asher said, slowly approaching, not wanting to interrupt whatever she was working on.
She used a small watering can to water the herb. “That’s because I don’t let anyone come up here and bring all their weird energy near my herbs.”
“My energy is all right, then?”
She glanced up and squinted her eyes at him. “A little tense, but nothing negative. You’re good.”
He was tense because he was worried for her. He lifted up the food bag. “I brought Thai.”
“My favorite,” she said with a smile, keeping her focus on the herbs. “Thank you. I’m actually starving, I haven’t had a chance to eat yet.” She gave him a quick smile, and then focused back on the herbs. “My devil’s claw is dying and I don’t really know why.” She stroked the leaves. “Come on, baby, you must flower. I need you more than ever.” She added a little more water, then sat back on her knees and sighed. “This is really very bad.”
Asher frowned. “That the devil’s claw doesn’t have a flower?”
“Yes, exactly.” Remy nodded like everything should make total sense. “They bloom in October, then die. It hasn’t flowered yet.”
Sometimes he felt terrible for not understanding her lingo. Other times, he figured looking dumb was better than not understanding. “Care to explain the problem more clearly?”
“Devil’s claw is used for protection,” she explained. “Keeping away evil spirts, confounding enemies, that kind of thing. My plant is dying, and that tells me I’m in grave danger.”
On one hand, he wanted to tell her it was just a plant. On the other hand, with Remy, these herbs meant something. Her belief in these things inspired people, and he’d seen the power of the mind do truly incredible things. That’s why people believed in Remy, because she believed in this magic so fiercely. Even now, she talked soothing words to the plant, putting so much love into what she did there. Clearly, she spent hours in her garden. All that love got transplanted to others, and that’s what Asher found so fascinating about her. She wanted to heal, to make people happier, and they trusted her to do that.
“Come on,” he said gently. “Let’s get some food in your belly. You’re hungry. Your plant can wait.”
She stroked the leaves of the plant one last time. “Keep strong, little one.” She rose and headed for the swing. Asher followed her.
He sat next to her and handed her the container with pad Thai and chopsticks, then took his out too. After he ate a bite, he asked, “Are you happy with how the grand opening went?”
She pulled her legs up to sit cross-legged, chopsticks in one hand, the takeout container in the other. “More than happy. Truly, it was amazing.”
“I thought it went really well too. Everyone seemed very excited about what you’d done there.”
She gave a sweet smile. “What we’d done there. I didn’t work alone to get the shop together. You all helped with that.”
Asher returned the smile, supposing that was true. He glanced out at the garden, inhaling the rich aromas infusing the air. “Mom would have loved this garden.” His mother had been an avid gardener. Something she’d done with Remy the entire time they were dating. They’d always be out there together at his mother’s house, laughing, loving every second of it.
“I dream of her sometimes.”
Asher’s gaze cut to her. “Of my mother?”
Remy nodded. “Ever since you came home. Maybe that’s my subconscious doing that.”
“Or maybe it’s something more?” he pressed.
She shrugged and took a big bite of her food, obviously not intending on answering.
He followed her lead and ate for a while, but then curiosity got the better of him. “What does my mom say to you in the dreams?”
Remy finished chewing and wiped her face with a napkin. “It’s always the same dream. I’m sitting in the hospital with you. You’ve got your head bowed and you’re crying.” Probably much like he had been when his mother passed away. “But she suddenly sits up and looks right at me. And she says, ‘Don’t let him run.’”
Asher glanced away and stared at his boots pressed against the cement, the only thing keeping him grounded at the moment. His chest was so damn tight he could barely get air in. He forced his voice to work. “That’s it?”
“That’s it,” Remy said, turning her attention back to her meal.
Asher ate three more bites, then suddenly he wondered if maybe it was Remy’s subconscious, worried about what might happen again because it happened before. He couldn’t let that slide anymore. “Next time, if you see Mom, tell her that I’m not running, all right? Not anymore.”
Remy glanced up, wide-eyed. “Okay,” she finally said. “I’ll do that.”
“Thank you.” He took another bite of his chicken, savoring the spicy kick on his tongue.
They finished their meal in silence, and only when he stopped chewing did he realize there was music coming from the greenhouse. A slow rock song that he recalled that he’d danced with Remy at prom. With his mother on his mind, and that fact that he had run from himself and Remy for a very long time, he set his empty container down, rose, and offered her his hand. “Dance with me?”
“Seriously?” she asked with a laugh.
“Seriously. Friends can dance, you know.” In truth, he expected her to shoot him down. She’d set boundaries, but she glanced at his outreached hand and rose. He tugged her into him, gathering her in his arms. For a minute she was stiff, keeping a distance, but then suddenly she stepped closer, her entire body going soft. Her head pressed against his chest, and he rested his cheek on the top of her head. Right there, that’s where he wanted her. Safe. Happy. “I should have done this with you more often.”
“Danced with me?” she asked, keeping her head in place.
“Danced with you,” he said, pressing his lips to the top of her head.
* * *
Dancing with Asher on her rooftop garden stayed with her, even an hour and a half later as they arrived at Rhett’s house after a call saying the gang was getting together for an impromptu campfire. Asher had never treated her as tenderly as he had as they’d danced. She couldn’t help thinking about how much he had changed in the
last ten years. Every minute she spent with him, he kept surprising her.
Remy exited Asher’s Camaro and followed him down the driveway. Rhett had bought the property from his father when his parents moved to Pennsylvania for work. The house itself wasn’t much to look at. A tiny bungalow with only two bedrooms, small kitchen, and living room, but Rhett’s mother had made the house warm and cozy, and Rhett hadn’t changed the place much since they’d moved. The beauty of this home was its location. Right on the Atlantic Ocean, the house itself sat up on the top of the cliff, while stairs had been built on the side leading down to the cove, with a sandy beach hugging the water.
Remy carefully followed Asher down the steep steps that had lanterns lighting them up, having nearly killed herself while drunk on these stairs many times. Rhett’s parties back in high school were legendary. His parents were definitely the coolest of the bunch, and didn’t mind the kids partying at their place on the weekends.
Halfway down the stairs, Remy spotted Peyton sitting between Boone’s legs near the bright campfire. Kinsley sat next to them, with Rhett sitting on a tree stump across from her.
“You made it,” Kinsley said, and jumped up. She hurried over as quickly as she could in the sand and threw her arms around Remy. “How’s the plant doing?”
Remy sighed. “Not any better. Got any beer?” Today felt long and exhausting, and a cold beer sounded right up her alley.
“I got ’em here,” Boone called, and opened the cooler next to him, taking out two beers.
Asher accepted a bottle, then took his seat next to Rhett. When Remy took her beer, Kinsley snatched her hand, pulling her down next to her to sit on a hollowed-out log. She smiled at Peyton. “Hi.”
“Hey.” Peyton wiggled her eyebrows. “Kinsley was just telling me that this was what you all did for fun growing up?”
“Hells yeah, it was,” Kinsley said. “It’s not like we had Merlots club back in the day. You had to make your own fun. We had some killer parties here.”
“The only bar we did have was a complete shithole,” Rhett said.
Kinsley smiled at him. “Which, of course, now that is not the case.”
Rhett inclined his head in agreement, then took a swig of his beer.
The wind suddenly flew by, chilling the air as the water sloshed against the rocky cove on the right. Asher got up and grabbed a blanket from the pile next to Rhett, then draped it over Remy’s shoulders. Her heart skipped a little at that. Such a small gesture, but one he’d done so many times before now. He’d always been the guy who seemed observant of what she needed or didn’t. Those were the little reasons she fell in love with him. “Thanks.” She smiled.
He nodded, then returned to his spot next to Rhett.
She wrapped the blanket around her tight, the crackling fire sending embers high into the sky. Across from her, Asher watched the fire, the golden hue flickering on his face. How different he looked now from the boy who left her. So grown up. So strong. Her heart swelled at all the good memories they had at Rhett’s beach parties throughout the years. Her whole teenage years had him in them. For a really long time, she forgot those. It felt good to remember them again.
“I will never forget the last party you had when we were kids,” Kinsley said to Rhett, breaking into Remy’s thoughts. Kinsley set her gaze on Remy, her smile beaming. “Remember when you kneed Gavin Hoist in the nuts, then attacked him like a rabid kitten?”
“I remember,” Asher said with a laugh. “I’m the one that had to peel her off him.”
“Gavin deserved his nuts pulverized,” Remy announced proudly. “He’d grabbed my boob. He’s lucky he didn’t get worse.”
“You seriously did that?” Peyton asked with absolute shock in her wide eyes. “I never would have thought you were capable. You’re just so bubbly and bright.”
“Until someone does something they shouldn’t,” Asher said with a smile. “Then the claws come out.”
“Hey, first of all, he’s lucky I didn’t create a voodoo doll to teach him a lesson.” Laughter filled the space around her. To Asher, she said, “And I also remember you knocking out Jake Wilson.”
“That’s different,” Asher grumbled.
“Do explain why that’s different?” Kinsley asked.
“He was actually a threat,” Asher said firmly.
Rhett nodded, then gestured at Remy. “No shit. We all saw how you looked at him.”
“Okay, yes, he was gorgeous,” said Remy with a roll of her eyes. “But you’re all stupid. Back then, I only saw Asher.”
Silence hit the group so hard that every single second that passed felt more awkward than the last. But soon Remy caught Asher’s gaze on her. His face was an unreadable mask. She quickly looked into the fire, watching the vibrant colors and losing herself in the crackling heat.
Blessedly, and like she always did, Kinsley jumped to her feet to come to Remy’s rescue. “I’m skinny-dipping, who’s coming with?”
“The water is freezing,” Boone pointed out.
“So what, live a little, would you?” she countered, and then kicked off her shoes. “Rhett’s got towels. We’ll go inside if we need to warm up. Who’s coming?”
“Yeah, I’m in.” Rhett began to rise. Boone glared. He slowly sat down. “Actually, on second thought, I enjoy my life too much.”
Peyton slapped Boone’s arm. “Stop scowling. It’ll be fun.” She rose. “I’ll join you.”
“And no one else,” Boone said, giving Rhett another firm look.
Rhett chuckled and then chugged back his beer as the girls took off running toward the water.
Remy rose too, but not for the same reasons. “I’ll be back in a few,” she said to the guys.
Asher’s brows drew together. “All right?”
“Yup, all good.” She smiled, though even she knew it probably looked a little tight. It occurred to her then that there wasn’t just one reason she was feeling emotional. Maybe it was everything. From Damon, to her shop, to Asher…it was all just so much. She left the others behind at the campfire, hearing Kinsley and Peyton scream as they ran into the water, and she purposely didn’t look Asher’s way. She couldn’t quite take any more of those raw eyes of his matched with all the fond memories they had shared in this spot. Away from the campfire, the stars were even brighter, the moonlight shining against the calm, dark water. She exhaled deeply, letting go of all the weight she’d been holding lately. A big boulder to her right where she’d sit and read sometimes when Asher threw a football with Rhett back in the day caught her eye. She climbed up on top like she had so many times, only this time she felt so different. She was different.
“You always did love this spot.”
Remy exhaled again before turning her head, finding Asher standing a foot away with his hands stuffed into his pockets. “It’s a good spot.”
“Mind if I join you?”
She shook her head, not sure what she wanted.
He climbed up and sat down next to her. Silence filled the space between them for so long she thought he didn’t plan on saying anything, but then he surprised her. “Do you ever wonder what would have happened if my mom hadn’t died?”
The question was so loaded, all she could do was stare at him for a while. “I know what would have happened. We would have gotten married, had some kids, and I’d have my shop, most likely.”
“But do you think we would have been happy?”
She shrugged. “An impossible question.”
“Probably is.” He looked out to the water.
She followed his gaze, thinking over her life. “Actually,” she said, changing her mind. “I think we would have been as happy as we could have been then.” She turned her head, finding those intense eyes on her again. “But…if I’m honest…I think whatever happiness we find now will be better because we had to work for it. I’m definitely stronger than I was back then.”
He considered what she said, then nodded. “Pain and loneliness definitely put things into
perspective. It shows you what you want and what you’re missing.”
“Yeah, it does.”
Comfortable minutes went by as the water sloshed against the rocks.
“Remy.”
She turned her head.
“I’m sorry. Really sorry.”
Pain dripped off his voice. Everything felt different now. The anger that once was there was gone, and without it, she saw Asher’s pain too. She reached out for his hand and tangled her fingers with his. “I know you are. And I’m sorry that your life crumbled so badly that the only thing you could do was run from everyone you cared about.” She knew now that couldn’t have been easy. “But can I ask you something?”
“Always.”
“Why did you leave the FBI and come back?”
He sighed and stared out at the water. “Nothing made sense there. For the first four years, I felt robotic almost. Just doing the shit I needed to do to get through my days. But then something happened.”
“What?”
“I saw your mom in a show.”
She felt her eyes widen with the shock blasting through her. “You did?”
He nodded. “Yeah, she was in town playing this gig at this total dive.”
Remy had never heard anything about this. “She never told me she saw you.”
“Because she didn’t,” he said. “She didn’t know I was there, I stayed at the back.”
More silence. Remy tried to piece together what he was saying but fell short. “Okay, so, you saw my mom and that made you want to come home?”
He finally turned toward her, the moonlight casting a shadow on his cheekbone. “I realized I’d become her, the very thing I once hated.”
Remy blinked. Twice.
Something changed in the air, becoming warmer and thicker, when he placed both of his hands over one of hers. He played with her fingers and went on. “I had always hated your mother for what she’d done to you. How she treated you.”
“You never told me that.”
“Because it wasn’t my place to,” he said after a moment. “Telling you that would have hurt you.” He hesitated, his voice filling with pain Remy understood. “But as I stood at the back of that bar, I saw that I’d hurt you worse than she had. She never made you promises. I did.”
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