He dropped his mouth close to hers. “But it wasn’t untouchable?”
She shook her head, a tear sliding down her face. “No, it wasn’t, but that wasn’t your fault or mine. Maybe it’s time we both forgive ourselves.”
Emotion seeped into his eyes and into his voice. “You never need to be forgiven.” He ground against her, causing her to squirm beneath the pleasure on her clit. She moaned once, then felt him harden again just that easy. His intense gaze bore deeply into hers. “And if you think otherwise, I’ll need to do my best to remind you of that.” His thrust hard twice, curling her toes. “Do you hear me, Remy?”
“Yes,” she gasped, lifting her pelvis, meaning to respond.
But with something that sounded close to a growl, he pinned her hips to the mattress and then there was no more talking. He kissed her with all the passion she knew existed in Asher and maybe even some she wasn’t expecting. She lay beneath him, sliding her hands along his flexing back, until she cupped the curve of his buttocks. Meeting him thrust for thrust, moan for groan, she gripped him tight, needing him deeper.
His mouth brushed against her ear as he wrapped an arm around the back of her neck. Then, there was only the way the fit together. There was only pleasure and desire and overflowing lust that spilled out between them.
Until they were only two sweaty bodies tangled together, panting their satisfaction.
He eventually gathered her into his arms, spooning her from behind. She stared out the window seeing the half-moon in the dark sky, her emotions feeling depleted now. “Asher.”
“Yeah,” he murmured against her neck.
“Whatever sins you think you committed when you left me…whatever pain you caused back then…it is all forgiven now. You need to stop punishing yourself. Please tell me you will?”
His only response was to kiss her neck and wrap her tightly in his arms.
Chapter 21
The next morning, Asher brought Remy home and she dressed in the exact opposite of what she thought she’d wear when she married Asher. Instead of the long, white flowy gown she’d imagined for years, she wore ripped jeans and a black blouse, reminding herself that nothing about this morning was real. Now if only she could convince her heart of that.
Asher had already gone to talk to the district attorney and got everything arranged for the ceremony this morning. She didn’t ask much about it all, thinking she had enough on her plate without worrying if she was going to be charged with theft or larceny.
The morning so far had been strange—sunny for an hour, then raining, and now sunny again. Almost like the day knew everything was backward. In her bedroom, and needing something stronger than herself at the moment, Remy moved to her dresser and opened the top drawer, taking out her tarot cards. She opened the box, found the Strength card in the deck, and then placed it down on the dresser. She grabbed a white votive candle and a polished piece of bloodstone. After lighting the candle, she placed the bloodstone on the center of the Strength card. She shut her eyes, envisioning herself absorbing the courageous light of the flame and the strength of the card. Only when she felt strong and ready did she place the bloodstone in her pocket to carry with her. She ran the deck over the flame to cleanse it, then tucked away her tarot cards before blowing out the candle.
When she reached the living room, she tried not to look at the messy state of her loft, but now, knowing the break-in had been someone looking for the money, whether that be one of Joaquin’s men or Lars, Remy felt fine being back in her place. She just wanted this to be over. Done. Put to bed.
Everything seemed more up in the air than ever. Something changed last night. First of all, she didn’t want to hide away anymore. A strength she hadn’t known before had risen somewhere inside her, pushing her to be the reason this matter got solved, not letting someone else deal with it. Maybe that was the positive she could take away in all this. She truly came out of all this stronger. Hell, she and Asher seemed to both come out of this better than when he’d left her, and for that she’d always be grateful, even if it took a whole lot of pain to get there.
The other thing that happened was that she crossed the boundary she told herself not to cross. The emotional one.
When her foot made the floorboard squeak, Asher turned away from the window he’d been staring out of, and the intensity in his gaze nearly undid her. He was just so cold. Any part of her heart that thought that maybe this would affect him like it was affecting her flew out the window. He was there to get her out of this mess, and that was that. He took her at her word last night. This would be a business deal.
A big part of her heart twisted. She admitted to herself that she wanted his love. But she wasn’t that woman who needed love above all else anymore. She had to come first, and now she accepted that Asher would always be an incredible protector. That was his role in her life. She could live with that. But her mind accepting that was one thing; her heart needed more time.
Asher’s gaze did a thorough once-over before he glanced into her eyes. She expected him to comment on her attire, but instead, he only showed steadiness. “Ready to go?” he asked.
She nodded, exhaling a long, deep breath. “Ready.” Regardless that this didn’t feel like a transaction at all, and that the butterflies indicated being Asher’s wife was an exciting idea, she couldn’t back out now. Not for herself. She couldn’t back out for the situation that she’d now placed everyone in.
A situation that no one could have seen coming.
If she didn’t come up with the money, she’d be in danger, but if she was in danger, Asher would protect her. And by protecting her, he’d place himself in front of that danger, which in turn, would bring in Boone and Rhett. She couldn’t let that happen. She made this mess. She had to clean it up.
Asher suddenly closed the distance and placed both hands on her shoulders, bringing his eye level down to hers. “You don’t need to do this. We can back out right now and come up with a new plan.”
Her emotions must have showed on her face. “Yes, I do,” she retorted, lifting her chin. “I spent Joaquin’s money. I need to pay him back.” She paused, seeing the slight hesitation on his face. “Are you changing your mind about it all?”
“No,” he bit off, a muscle in his jaw flexing. “I’ve got this.”
“It’s just for a few months, so no one can contest the inheritance,” she said. “Though I don’t know who would contest it. Maybe my mother. Anyway, after that, we can get divorced…or an annulment, if we tell the judge we didn’t consummate the marriage…or maybe a divorce is better just to keep things easier.” She froze at the twitch of his mouth. “Damn, I’m rambling, aren’t I?”
“Just a little.” He grabbed the hem of her shirt and then tugged her into him, surprising her by wrapping his arms tightly around her. “It’s going to be all right, Remy. We can do this.”
She leaned into him. “I know.”
He placed a kiss on her forehead, then offered his hand. “Ready to go get ourselves hitched?”
She laughed softly. “Definitely.”
Two hours of butterflies, sweat coating her skin, and barely being able to sit still later, Remy held the marriage license in her hand. They’d gone to the town office and now stood in front of Judge Mulroney’s desk at the courthouse. Dark paneling filled the room, along with bookshelves full of law books. Nana had known the judge’s mother, and Remy vaguely remembered hearing about the judge every so often, though Remy had been a kid then and the judge at that time was a wild teenager. Now with her curly brown hair, light makeup, and black pantsuit, the judge couldn’t look more straitlaced.
“What kind of ceremony are we looking for today?” the judge asked, sitting behind her desk.
“Simple,” Remy blurted out, and she quickly smiled at her hasty response.
The judge nodded and made a note before asking, “How about vows? Personal or already prepared?”
“No vows,” Asher explained.
Remy looked his way,
finding his lips pinched tight. There was a very big part of her that wanted to stop this. She could see his jaw working, a tell that he was stressed. And yet, if she stopped this, where would that leave them? Only in danger. “Can’t we just say ‘yes’ or ‘I will’ or something like that?” she asked, glancing back at the judge.
“Of course, nice and simple, nothing wrong with that,” the judge said with a soft nod, then rose. “I think we’re all set here. Give me a moment to make sure we’ve got the paperwork all together and ready to go before we begin.” She left the office through the side door.
“You can breathe again,” Asher said tightly.
Remy blew out the breath she’d been holding, the room spinning around her a little. She stretched out her fingers, not having realized she’d been squeezing them together. “Considering what I’ve been through lately, you wouldn’t think this would be so nerve-racking.”
“It’s the unexpected that always gets you,” Asher said, moving to the leather chair and taking a seat.
She followed his cue and sat in the chair next to him, crossing her legs and bouncing the one on top. “How did you get us in here so fast anyway?” she asked, trying to fill the unbearable silence.
“A perk of being a cop,” Asher explained, seemingly totally at ease in his chair. “I called in a favor.”
“Does she know what’s going on?”
Asher shook his head. “She knows I wanted to marry you this morning. She didn’t need to know more than that.”
A knock on the door had Remy glancing over her shoulder. The blood drained from her face as Boone and Rhett entered the room. That last thing she wanted was an audience. She was barely managing all this as it was. Asher nudged her knee, dragging her attention back to him. “We needed two witnesses.”
Remy nodded, sure she couldn’t get any words out, let alone any that made sense.
Boone moved inside the room and leaned against the desk. “How are you two holding up?”
“Good.” Asher nodded.
Remy just shrugged.
“Well, if you were going for zero emotion at all, I’d say you’ve gotten it,” Rhett said, frowning. “This place looks like somewhere I’d get married.”
“Rhett,” Asher warned.
A burst of nervous laughter bubbled up and Remy couldn’t fight it. “You know, you’re right, this is totally up your alley.”
Rhett winked.
Asher visibly relaxed then, obviously realizing that Rhett was only lightening the mood.
Curious now, though, Remy turned to Rhett and asked, “What would you do if you were in my situation?”
Rhett gave Asher a long look, then dropped into the leather couch. “I’d do exactly what you’re doing.”
Liar. He thought this was a huge mistake, and maybe it was. But she needed a fix, and a marriage certificate was it. Didn’t mean that made any of this easier. The room suddenly began to feel small, and the air stuffy. She rose and began pacing in front of the desk, her thoughts beginning to run wild with doubts, when the judge strode back into the room carrying a file folder.
“Ready to begin?” the judge asked.
Remy glanced back at Boone. He gave her a tight smile and a firm nod. Then her gaze fell to Rhett. He held her stare with his usual hard expression, revealing not much of anything. God, what was she doing? How had all the shit in her life led her to this moment, where she was finally marrying the love of her life, and the marriage was a total sham?
“Remy.”
Asher’s strong voice pulled her attention to him. She got lost in that steady gaze that could make her feel better on the worst of days. “Do you need a minute?” he asked, sliding his fingers gently down her arm.
She desperately wanted to melt into that touch, but her mind pulled back, protecting her. “No. No, I’m okay.” She moved in front of the judge’s desk and Asher joined her. After a deep breath and reminding her heart that she was the one who got herself into all this trouble, she took Asher’s hand and said, “Make me Mrs. Sullivan.”
* * *
Today was the worst day of Asher’s life. He’d felt more emotion from Remy ordering pizza than when she’d agreed to be his wife. More than once he nearly called the marriage off, desperate to explain all the shit filling his head since he woke up this morning. But every time the words nearly left his mouth, he stepped back, seeing that he was the reason she was in this mess in the first place. Everything he touched, he tarnished. Over and over again, he hurt her.
Knowing the best thing he could do was continue to do right by her to get her free and clear from the situation that he put her in, he had left Remy with her lawyer at the bank right after they signed the marriage certificate. And while they squared the finances, Asher went to the station for some peace and quiet. She’d pay the money back and she’d still have her shop. All of that should have made him feel happy. That’s what all this was about. Giving her back the life that he selfishly stole from her when he took her innocent heart and shattered it.
But then why did he have this sudden emptiness in his chest? This feeling that everything suddenly seemed all wrong when everything should be right. Why did none of this make him feel good? He finally protected her fully and completely, and yet, he suddenly felt like he was drowning.
And that’s where he’d been for the last half an hour, while he’d waited for Remy and her lawyer to join him in his office. He leaned back in his chair and stared at the photograph of when he’d made Remy his. He tried to get a grip on his thoughts, but the web was so tangled now, Asher wasn’t sure how to unravel it all.
“Congratulations.”
Asher shut his eyes, breathed deeply, and then faced the evitable. “You only say congratulations if there’s a reason to celebrate.” He turned to Hank standing in the doorway. Boone’s dad had been as close to a father as Asher had ever known, considering his father was no longer in the picture.
“You’ve been dealt a blow,” Hank said gently, leaning a shoulder against the door, arms folded. “Doesn’t mean what you’ve wanted hasn’t happened. Just means you need to finagle all this a little bit to settle things into where you want to go from this day forward. You’ve still got Remy. That was the hope in all this, wasn’t it?”
Hank never missed much. “I don’t know what the hope was. To make her happy? To protect her?” He thrust his hands into his hair. “I don’t even know anymore.” He felt deep in the thick of it without a clear way out. He’d seen what love did to people. He didn’t want that. And yet…and yet…everything felt wrong. His chest felt worse than it had when he’d first returned home to Stoney Creek and she’d barely look at him.
Hank gave Asher a long look, then offered, “Start small, all right? Get this settled for Remy, then go from there.” Of course he’d look out for Remy. Hank had loved her as a second daughter for nearly her entire life.
“Probably the only place to go,” Asher muttered.
Hank agreed with a nod. “I’d like a call immediately after Remy hands over the money and this matter is concluded.”
“Yes, sir.” Boone had informed his father of Remy’s situation. The DA didn’t care much about the money at Remy’s house, but was greatly interested in Lars. Now they were all in cleanup mode, ensuring this thing with King went away nice and neatly without any laws being broken.
Hank suddenly straightened and then said to Asher seriously, “And that’s my cue to leave. Good luck this afternoon.” He was gone from the doorway in less time than it took Asher to blink.
And in his place was a handful of women pushing themselves into Asher’s officer. There went Asher’s peace and quiet.
“Oh, Asher,” MaryJane said, hurrying to place flowers on his desk. “We heard the news and just needed to come by right away.”
He arched an eyebrow, wondering exactly what the gossip train had gotten a hold of, considering there were a couple of things they’d clamor over. “The news?” he repeated.
“Your marriage to Remy,”
Annie, the retired teacher, said, holding on to the strap of her purse, beaming from ear to ear.
“That news traveled fast,” Asher said, leaning back in his chair and folding his arms.
“Well,” MaryJane drawled, “Louise’s sister works at the town office.”
Louise stood next to Annie, giving him a blinding smile. “She does.”
MaryJane nodded too. “Her sister issued the license, and hinted you were there, and then you know, Georgia, she works at the courthouse and saw Remy and Boone and Rhett and—”
Asher raised a hand, having had quite enough. “You are master investigators.”
Cute laughter filled his office.
He rose and moved to his door. “Thank you, ladies, for dropping by with the flowers and for thinking of us. It’s very sweet of you all.”
“We’re just so happy for you, Asher,” Georgia said. “Your mom would have been so happy.”
He felt like he’d been throat-punched. Georgia had known Mom—all the ladies had. She would have been right in the middle of this group had she still be there. Maybe not as nosy, but certainly there for friendship. “Thank you, Georgia. You’re right, she would have been very happy.” She also would have never let this get all fucked up and backward. She’d most certainly have a way out.
“Of course, we’re all a little confused why you’re back at work and not with Remy,” MaryJane said, eyes narrowed thoughtfully.
Asher laughed and began gently ushering them out the door. “Sadly, ladies, when the job calls, the job calls. I’ll be sure to bring your flowers to Remy and say you all stopped by to congratulate us.”
After waves and smiles, Asher sat back behind his desk, welcoming the silence again. The mothers of Stoney Creek were mothers to everyone. Most times Asher didn’t mind. Today he wanted to be alone.
Silence.
But then Boone said, “I thought they were never going to leave.”
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