The Pidgin Warrior

by Tianyi Zhang

  And what did that disciple learn?

  We have no way of knowing. “Official Top Secret.”

  There were two other people who saw The Supreme Ultimate Master put the check in his pocket: Elder Brother Hu Genbao and Elder Brother Disciple Half Mote. Their four eyes locked on their master until he was out of sight.

  Hu Genbao said something in Half Mote’s ear and the two of them sat down outside that closed door.

  The Hall of the Three Teachings used to be a temple, established by a great man from Hunan who died seventy years ago. The rooms of the temple had never been maintained, so the wind would blow through the wall partitions. Half Mote was shivering with cold.

  “These rooms are horrible,” he mumbled. “We Hunanese have rich people here in Shanghai too. How is it that no one put up some cash to fix this place up?”

  “Huh. You can do it.” Hu Genbao’s eyes darted forward toward the building with the altar.

  “Me?” Half Mote chuckled. Then he pointed at the door with his thumb.

  Hu Genbao’s eyes hadn’t moved an inch. He was watching the women kowtow: when they knelt, their butts looked bigger. Some of them were quite experienced at it. Some didn’t get the posture quite right: as if they were still a little shy. Hu Genbao thought, “That woman must have a certain illness that needs a prescription.”

  The ladies all bowed to the table. On the table was a large tray with dirt in it. Kuai Sixteen and that one with the singed beard held a T-shaped thing and were focused on writing in the dirt. Hu Genbao, looking at this with all air of propriety, just laughed.

  Elder Brother Disciple Half Mote looked at the floor and said to himself:

  “If I donated some, I could ask Old Master Shi—Elder Mister Shi Boxiang to donate some too. That would be a deed of highest merit. Old Master Shi would certainly donate. Old Master Shi is like us…”

  “Hm, hm,” Hu Genbao quickly interrupted with snorts. “Old Mister Shi is a benevolent man.”

  “Old Master Shi would be willing to put out money, he’s not stingy. Old Master Shi is really… really…”

  He made a gesture and so didn’t need to keep talking. Half Mote changed tone:

  “Yeah, benevolent man. Old Master Shi is a benevolent man…”

  They were talking about Old Mister Shi Boxiang! They were quite familiar with Shi Boxiang. How? Had they had dealings with that old man?

  Yes, indeed. I had utterly forgotten to explain it.

  The Supreme Ultimate Master had taken Elder Brother Disciple and Hu Genbao to the home of Shi Boxiang to be introduced to Old Mister Shi. Now, Old Mister Shi often went to the Alter Hall of the Three Teachings. He was a disciple of Ancestor Lu Chunyang. Sometimes he would take his wife and Zhaowu. He was oddly respectful toward The Supreme Ultimate Master. The Supreme Ultimate Master was a junior classmate of Ancestor Lu, so he would rank a generation higher than Elder Mister Shi Boxiang.

  “Old Master Shi is really a good man,” Half Mote looked Hu Genbao in the eyes. “If the Hall of the Three Teachings could get one hundred thousand dollars donated, that would be enough. Old Master Shi… Old Master Shi is… We could ask Old Master Shi to donate ten thousand… ten thousand…”

  Hu Genbao’s foot was so cold it started to shiver. He stood up and started pacing.

  Ash-black clouds were piling up in the sky, like a huge cooking pot was covering over the heads of humanity.

  “It’ll snow,” Hu Genbao said.

  The closed door began to open. The Supreme Ultimate Mater came out. Behind him followed Shi Zhaochang, head bowed, cautiously walking with the stride of the True Doctrine.

  Elder Brother Disciple stood and saluted The Supreme Ultimate Master. Hu Genbao quickly stepped back and stood respectfully to the side, giving way to his master.

  Shi Zhaochang made four kowtows to his master, then returned home. He thought his body felt warm after learning those things today.

  “Ah, this four thousand dollars wasn’t wasted…Spending Money in Fighting for Justice. There is good sense in it. It’s no wonder that the immortals of the blade, and warriors and all the rest spend money in fighting for justice.”

  Suddenly, he felt that Elder Brother and Elder Brother Disciple were strangely adorable. Elder Brother with his long pointed face. Elder Brother Disciple with his bald head and hooked nose. Weren’t they absolutely adorable? They had treated him really well. Master said that they would have to assist him.

  His heart was about to pounding wildly, as if he were thinking about Thirteenth Sister…

  But that day, Elder Brother and Elder Brother Disciple couldn’t wait to see him go. They watched his figure until it exited the main gate, and then rushed to the room where master was sleeping.

  Elder Brother Disciple shouted out, “Let’s go get the money! Let’s go get the money!”

  “Hold on there, bud!” Hu Genbao stuck out his hand as if to block his way.

  Master smiled. “Fuck your mother. This bald bulb has truly never seen money, one glimpse and…”

  “Four thousand all together,” Hu Genbao knocked on the table with his right forefinger. “How do we split it? Now is the time to have a talk.”

  “Kuai Sixteen over there…” Master uses a long blackened fingernail to dig at the rheum in his eye. “Kuai Sixteen and Singed Beard will need a bit of a cut.”

  “So just give them a hundred to split.”

  Elder Brother Disciple shouted out again. “Yeah, yeah. Give those two a hundred. The three of us can split the three thousand nine hundred evenly. Three one thirty-one.”

  “An even split?” Hu Genbao smiled coldly. “An even split? It was your better who found that Shi. This business was brought out by your better, and you want an even split?”

  Master also put in his opinion: “The lightbulb gets one share less. The rest gets evenly split between Hu and me.”

  But Hu Genbao didn’t agree. He said that he should get two thousand and the Master and Elder Brother Disciple could split the rest however they like, he didn’t care.

  Elder Brother Disciple stared, but his eyelids were as heavy as matted curtains and his eyes couldn’t open too widely.

  “How could I rate so little…little… little little…”

  The Supreme Ultimate Master cackled in his throat. “I’m the one who did the most work, how could I get the small share…”

  “This bit of business was brought out by your better. It was your better who thought all this through…”

  “I won’t take the small share. I’d rather break it all up. I’ll go to that Shi guy and expose the whole thing, have all of you…”

  “Expose? You would expose it?... You need to take care you don’t put your own life in danger!”

  “Fuck your goddamn mother! My own life!... I won’t take the small share! Shi is my disciple, he trusts me. I’ll… I’ll…”

  Bam! Hu Genbao cracked Master in the mouth.

  The two leaped at each other.

  Elder Brother Disciple panicked: “Stoppit! Stoppit!!”

  After about ten minutes, the master and disciple were left gasping at the end of the fight. A method of dividing the money was talked out. Elder Brother Disciple: five hundred. The two from the Hall of the Three Teachings: one hundred. The rest would be split between The Supreme Ultimate Master and Hu Genbao. Elder Brother Disciple bawled about it being too unjust, but Hu Genbao popped him in the mouth and the agreement passed with his unspoken approval.

  But there was a bruise below Supreme Ultimate Master’s forehead. Hu Genbao was bleeding quite a bit from the nose.

  10

  Warriors and the New Morality

  The Woman Warrior of National Salvation He Manli was waiting for Shi Zhaochang to send her some money again. He said with his own mouth that he would donate some more. But she hadn’t even seen his shadow in several days.

>   “Why ain’t he come?”

  Based on her previous experience, she knew that Shi Zhaochang would return to her with a strange eagerness. And he would enthusiastically bring money too. And the amount of money wouldn’t be small. Wasn’t she a woman? According to the rules, Shi Zhaochang should do just that. This was exactly what she was talking about that day about that New Modern Morality.

  But a warrior doesn’t bother with this morality.

  “He jist don’t get the rules.”

  Miss He sighed and called a rickshaw.

  “Why ain’t you come by my place la?”

  Shi Zhaochang stared blankly for a long while. His stomach started going all crazy. He didn’t know what he should do. He was right in the middle of getting ready to go to The Supreme Ultimate Master’s to train when this interruption came. But the awkwardness in his heart wasn’t because of that. He still hadn’t figured out clearly if this Woman Warrior of National Salvation was in fact, Evil or not. He also had actually missed her, and to have her just show up in front of his face out of nowhere, he didn’t know if he should break into fury or happiness.

  His heart was pounding like it couldn’t go on.

  Those eyes looking at him: How could he stare like that, not even bringing up the money?

  She now knew she had to act—In the end everything was done in accordance with the rules of the New Modern Morality: She pounced.

  Shi Zhaochang tried to get into a stance, but he didn’t have enough time, and was wrapped up by the Woman Warrior of National Salvation. His chest gasped unevenly and his mouth gaped open for air. Her closed eyes, face tilted upward: the stench in Shi Zhaochang’s mouth passed straight toward her nose. She wrinkled her brow and was getting ready to break away, but then thought again:

  “For the new morality, I must hold on la!”

  While holding on, she cracked open an eye to peek at Shi Zhaochang. He hadn’t moved at all. She would have to make the first move again. She pressed he lips upward.

  His heart pounded enough to shake her, as if someone had shaken the bedrock nearby. She remembered something: According to the rules, people who are kissing always gasp a bit. So she breathed short and quickly, like a dog in the heat of summer.

  “I love ya la,” She said using that throaty voice the song and dance troupe used when singing “China I Love You.” “Why ain’tcha… Why… Why haven’t you come to look for me?”

  “No time,” Shi Zhaochang said with a low voice, stealing a glance at the poster of Yue Fei on the wall.

  The two sat on the sofa.

  Shi Zhaochang exhaled a long breath. She probably wasn’t Evil. Otherwise…

  “That day you said la, you would donate… donate…”

  “What?” He had forgotten about that.

  Oh ho! He was acting like he doesn’t know la! Without delay, she put her head underneath his chin. Her permed hair poked into his nostrils, and he sneezed, spattering her hair with mucus and spittle.

  “Look at you la!”

  Shi Zhaochang immediately felt she was even more adorable than before. He wrapped his right arm around her waist and planned to say so much, but he sat dumb for a while. He didn’t know what he should say according to the rules.

  “You… You you… I… together… together… gather our power… fight injustice… get rich and become heroes… study Passing Through Earth…”

  Just then, a throaty cackle burst out from outside the window.

  “Hahaha! Elder Brother has a girl in his room! They’re… hahaha! Everyone, come look!”

  Shi Zhaochang jumped up and ran to the window.

  “You! What are you doing?”

  “Shameless! You two…” Shi Zhaowu, outside the window was making an obscene gesture with two hands, then ran off laughing.

  “Beast!” He thought about chasing after the boy and letting him know what’s right and wrong, but his step-mother would be heard to deal with.

  “Evil! Demonic! No class at all, and they say he’ll be a division commander next year!”

  “That, uh, was your brother?”

  “hmph.”

  The Woman Warrior for National Salvation pulled his two arms and brought her lips up to his ear.

  “Don’t go angry la! Let’s go and enjoy ourselves a bit… come play with me la.”

  Shi Zhaochang smiled at Miss He, and bit his lip. His finger was shaking and he didn’t know why.

  On the wall, the clock sounded: Three thirty.

  There was the sound of footsteps from the guest room. Shi Zhaochang pulls back his hands.

  “Ah, three thirty. I won’t be able to go over to Master’s”

  “Huh? What master?”

  Shi Zhaochang wiped his face with his hand, glanced at the poster of Yue Fei, and with great solemnity, said, “The Supreme Ultimate Master.”

  She smiled at him and did a hula dance to get her body over to the sofa and pick up her bag. She carefully used a small mirror to powder her face.

  “Thirteenth Sister uses makeup?” He asked himself.

  Women Warriors must know the rules of Women Warriors.

  A smile flashed across his face as he put his hands behind his back and paced the room, paying particular attention that his gait would satisfy the Woman Warrior of National Salvation. He strove to hunch his back, and splayed his feet out nearly horizontally.

  “That brother of mine,” he tried to appear utterly unconcerned, to let others know that this position was totally natural. “Anytime my brother comes up, I must get angry. He is the child of my step-mother…. Hm. They also say that he will make a great show next year. Just watch!”

  “Don’t he gotta… What school does he attend la?”

  “Him?” the line of his mouth twisted. “Study?”

  The door of the room opened a crack. A pair of red eyes looked in from the opening. No one in the room noticed.

  Miss He’s right hand was on the powder box. Her left hand held the little mirror: far away, then close. She made all sorts of poses with her face: raised, lowered, to one side. The scent of sandalwood powder flowed through the entire room.

  The crack in the doorway slowly widened. Appearing: red eyes: two; big mouth: one. The mouth was smiling. The flesh of the gums was about to squeeze out and hang on the outside.

  Nobody saw. Miss He was doing her work facing the mirror, and Shi Zhaochang was sneaking peaks at Miss He.

  Suddenly, something flew at Miss He. Then the door crashed shut. Then the sounds of Shi Zhaowu’s feet could be heard running off.

  “Ah!” Miss He cried out, her hands going to her face.

  The thing that had flown at her was a sardine can, with some of the juices still inside, which splashed all over Miss He’s face. Places where the sandalwood powder was washed away showed dense freckles, like clouds parting to reveal the stars.

  Shi Zhaochang was furious.

  “Bastard!” He rushed out.

  “Eh eh eh! Stap! Stap! Ah don wantcha…”

  He had already bolted out of the room with gritted teeth.

  “You no-good shit! Bastard!”

  But he didn’t see a trace of Shi Zhaowu.

  “Donchoo be angry la! It ain’t important la.”

  Shi Zhaochang was still unhappy. Not until Miss He started washing her face was he slightly better. But then he added, “I can’t stay here. Let’s go out for a walk. This house is simply…”

  The other one was scrubbing with foreign soap and a will. Now we can see her original appearance: a color, like Shi Zhaowu, similar to a rotten buddha hand fruit. In some areas, greenish. Wrinkles popped up like a dried out orange peel. Lips blackened. Spots, large and small covered her face. There were no eyebrows.

  Every day when she washed her face, she was a little uncomfortable. Old la! Like a sick person la! Like a deed person
… Like a dead person la. Have to put on rouge add some eyebrows and keep up appearances la. She felt that she was nearly dead, but every week she had to go to the stores and buy all these things to build herself into something like a young vivacious girl.

  What does it matter: Fooling herself?

  She immediately explained things to herself in good Mandarin:

  “This is the way it oughtta be: This is our modern culture la, this is the new morality, la.”

  Now she again recited these words like a mantra, and rushed to put the makeup back on.

  Shi Zhaochang was muttering curses about Shi Zhaowu: “Simply not a human being! Animal! Mongrel! Bastard! Dunce! Whoreson! Cur!”

  It went on like this for an hour and a half before they were ready to go out. Shi Zhaochang made it clear that he would have to get back quickly for dinner.

  “I can’t stay out too late. My father has invited Master to dinner.”

  “We can go dancing tonight, dancing’s supah swell fun la!”

  “I don’t know how.”

  “I’ll teachya la!”

  “Ah, no good. My father invited Master to dinner. I should accompany him.”

  Miss He brought up the money again:

  “Bring a little money out witchya. You said you were going to donate some money la.”

  “Ah, uh, But… but…”

  This mood wasn’t quite right…

  “New morality!” She thought. No matter what, she didn’t forget her new morality. She cuddled her head closer. This time, whether by chance or whatever reason, Shi Zhaochang smelled the scent of her cheek: Powder, along with the remaining smell of the sardine oil.

  How could he not donate, this time, eh?

  “Another twenty…”

  “Twenty!” Miss He puffed out her cheeks, glancing at the mirror to make sure her pose was correct.

  “Last time, I… I was… Now, I…” Shi Zhaochang said as he walked to the door.

  The previously puffed cheeks flattened, and she followed him out. He was locking the door with a key. She licked her right forefinger and started counting the bills, one of which she took out with both hands to look at in better light to see if it was good.