by Amity Cross
Thumping back down the stairs, I walked across the mats to where Ryan and Cole were going through their repetitions on the bags. Ash gave me a look from his position to the side but didn’t say anything.
“How was your appointment?” he asked, coming to stand beside me as the numbskulls finished their repetitions and swapped places.
“Fine.” Last thing I wanted was to tell Vee’s over-protective brother about having to jet back to Sydney before I’d even told her.
“So, we’ve still got you for a while yet?” He was looking at me like he already knew, and he probably did.
I shrugged.
“I’ve noticed that the exercises you’ve been doing are getting easier,” he declared.
“Yep.” I watched Cole and Ryan, knowing exactly what Ash was getting at. He was trying to get a confession out of me with a good cop, bad cop routine.
“The guys will miss you,” he prodded. “I know they’ve picked up some valuable stuff from your sessions, mate.”
I grunted, crossing my arms over my chest.
He gave me another look before backing away. “Suit yourself, but you better tell her.”
I shot him a warning glance and nodded.
“Let me know when you’re leaving,” he added. “For payroll.”
Narrowing my eyes, I shook my head. Obviously, trying to keep shit from Ash Fuller was pointless, but as long as he didn’t tell Violet first, we wouldn’t have a problem.
Shit. Things had been fucking great the past few months. I never expected to see her again—even with her brother as the owner of the joint—let alone start this thing with her. I’d wanted it forever, no other woman had stacked up to my idea of being with her, and now that I had the real thing? I’d been right all along.
Violet… She filled all the little holes inside me that I didn’t even know were missing. I thought being apart from Dean and the AUFC was tough, but leaving her would be the hardest thing I’d ever have to do.
It was then that I realized I might’ve fallen harder for Vee than I’d originally thought. This was the part where you told the woman who had your balls how you felt and planned for the future and all that scary shit I didn’t have any answers for. The only certain thing in my life was competing in professional MMA. I didn’t know how to have a relationship anymore than she did.
My phone pinged with a message, pulling me away from my thoughts. Pulling it from my pocket, I glanced at the screen and dread settled into my bones as I read the message from Josie.
Booked you in for Saturday. Check your email for the details.
I knew she was no fuss about stuff, but she’d gotten onto that quick. It seemed like a no-brainer really. They knew I was keen to get back to training, and I’d complained until I was blue in the face about being stuck in Melbourne…but that was before Violet.
There was no two ways about it. I was contractually obligated to get my ass back into the cage. I had to go back when I was told.
Thinking about Vee and how far she’d come over the past couple of months, my heart swelled. Could she deal with this? Fuck, could I? I didn’t know.
Glancing at the message once more, I sighed heavily, rubbing my eyes. How the hell was I going to tell her I was leaving in four days?
“What’s up your ass?” Cole asked, smacking his shoulder against my good one.
“Watch your mouth,” I snapped.
“See,” he said to Ryan. “Told you somethin’ was ticklin’ his balls.”
30
Violet
Work was kicking my ass today.
Ash was still eyeballs deep in his bathroom renovation—I could hear the banging and drilling coming from the apartment—and Ren had been over at Beat for ages now, looking after the place for her dad until they could find someone more permanent. That left a lot of work for me, but I kinda liked it. It kept my mind off things that I would usually sit and stew over to the point of obsessive. Lots of work was a good thing for an over thinker like me.
There was a knock at the door, and glancing at the clock on the computer, I found it was past two in the afternoon. I’d totally missed lunch. Looking up as the office door opened, I smiled when I saw it was Lincoln.
“Hey,” he said, coming in and closing the door behind him.
“Hey.” I watched his progress with narrowed eyes. I heard the uncertainty in his voice and knew something was coming—something I knew I didn’t want to hear.
“I had an appointment at the hospital this morning,” he said, pulling up a chair beside me.
Oh, shit he was sitting down. People only sat down like that when they had something bad to tell you. I knew what he was going to say without him even opening his mouth.
“Are you okay?” I asked, turning to face him. Of course he was okay, he was about to leave me behind.
“Everything is looking normal.” He glanced at my hands, which were tightly curled in my lap.
“Oh.”
“I have contracts Vee,” he said. “If they ask, I have to go.”
“I know.” Boy, did I ever.
“Coach wants me back ASAP.”
He’d called Coach Miller before me. I wasn’t sure how I was meant to feel about that, but it stung.
“When do you have to go?” I asked, dreading the answer.
“Josie booked me a flight for Saturday.”
Saturday? It was only a couple of days away, and I regretted not talking to him about this sooner. I’d come a long way since we’d started this thing, whatever it was, but Sydney? The thought of getting on a plane had me breaking out in a cold sweat.
“I know we haven’t talked about this,” Lincoln began.
“If you want to… I mean…”
“Vee,” he murmured, covering my hands with his. “I don’t want to end this.”
I glanced at him, my eyes wide. “You don’t?”
“Shit, no. I couldn’t even if I tried.”
Then why did this feel like the end?
“We knew this was going to happen,” he went on when I didn’t say anything. “I was only ever going to be here for a couple of months.”
“I know, but now that it’s here…” I trailed off with a shrug. Why did it feel like I was losing him already?
“We’ll work it out,” he said. “Sydney isn’t that far away.”
I tried to smile, but I couldn’t find it in me. It was only a couple of hours by plane, but it may as well have been the other side of the planet. I’d conquered going to work and going out to lunch, but going to the airport and flying to Sydney? I began to tremble, and Lincoln pulled me against his side.
“I’m sorry,” I said, old fears beginning to grow anew. “I don’t know if I can…”
He turned, facing me straight on. “Don’t know if you can what?”
“No, not that,” I exclaimed, grasping his forearms. “Getting on a plane…” I closed my eyes, beginning to hate myself for piling yet another of my stupid problems on him. “I’m sorry. You didn’t sign up for this. You’ve already done so much for me.”
Lincoln sighed sharply and knocked my hands away. I jerked backward, but he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me onto his lap and against his chest. His lips hit my own, making me gasp in surprise, and his tongue instantly dove against mine. He kissed me hard and fast, pulling back just as I was beginning to ache.
“I don’t give a stuff,” he said huskily. “I want this to work, Vee. It’s just another hurdle we can overcome together. You and me.”
“You and me?”
“Fuckin’ oath.”
“I just…” I swallowed. ”I just wish I was stronger for you.”
“Vee,” he said through a heavy sigh. “You are. You fuckin’ are. Don’t think that.”
He held me close, but I just couldn’t shake it.
“I just don’t want to lose you,” I whispered, pressing my cheek against his chest. “I feel like I’ve just found who I’m meant to be.”
“You would’ve foun
d her without me,” he replied, his chin moving against the top of my head.
I didn’t reply. I just squeezed my arms around him.
“We’ve got a couple of days,” he said after a moment. “I wanna spend them all with you. We can do anything you want, just name it.”
A couple of days… It would never be enough time. I wanted it all, but that was selfish. He had a life to attend to in Sydney, and I couldn’t be one of those women. The jealous, needy kind who kept their boyfriends on a tight leash.
The more I dwelt on the hollowness that was chewing at the edges of my heart, the more I thought I might be too attached to him. If I was attached, was it for the wrong reasons? Would I fall apart and revert to old tendencies the moment he left?
It was one thing having someone treat me the way Lincoln did, but it was another to be able to stand on my own two feet.
“I’ve gotta go back downstairs,” he said after a moment. “Ash has got me finishing up the week, but the rest of it is yours.”
Nodding, I peeled myself away from him and found my own chair again.
“Tonight?” he asked. “Dinner and whatever?”
“Sure.”
He smiled, raising his hand to cup my cheek, and I leaned into his touch and closed my eyes. He was the only man I’d ever trusted to make love to me, and maybe he’d be the last…and now we were being forced apart. It wasn’t a Romeo and Juliet kind of epic story, but to me, it felt like it. Little things, tiny victories, they were the entire world for someone small like me.
“Cool,” Lincoln murmured. “I’ll stop by the supermarket on the way to yours. I’ll make you something epic.”
“Epic?” I asked, opening my eyes. “Everything has been pretty epic so far.”
“I’ll say.”
Lincoln left Pulse before me that night.
I stuck behind and cleaned up the office, finishing off a handful of invoices before calling it. On the way out, I threw a wave to the instructor who was going through the motions with a class of teenagers. Beginner MMA. I ducked into the change rooms at the last second, knowing if I didn’t pee now, I’d be regretting it when I was sitting in traffic all the way home.
Locking myself in a stall, I did my business in record time, not liking being in here any more than I had since day one. In and out like lightning.
Opening the door, I caught sight of a woman in front of the mirrors. Coming to a stand still, my heart lurched, stuttered, and then restarted again. Andrea stood at the basins, fluffing her hair and pouting at her reflection. She met my gaze, and her eyes narrowed like she was thinking game on to herself. Maybe it was a coincidence she was here, but considering the speed in which I peed, probably not. She obviously had something to say to me, but I wasn’t going to be the one to encourage it.
Stepping forward, I stood two basins down so I didn’t have to be near her toxicity, and turned on the tap. Soaping up my hands, I glanced at her and found her staring at me in the mirror.
Andrea smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. Shit, it hardly even moved her plastic lips.
“Lincoln’s going back to Sydney, or so I hear,” she said.
I waited, knowing that this was going someplace catty. She hadn’t spoken to me since the first week I was here, and ironically, it was in exactly the same place. In the dunny, which was an indication of the quality of conversation with this woman.
“All I’m saying is good luck with that,” she said, combing her fingers through her hair and retying her ponytail.
I scowled at her reflection, not intimidated by her anymore. “What’s that meant to mean?”
“It’s meant to mean that long distance relationships are trouble,” she shot back with an annoyed pout. “Especially with a pro fighter. Have you seen those girls who parade around the cage?”
“What, fake titted girls like you?”
She laughed at my outburst and flicked her hair. “Men like them, sweetie. Better than those pimples you have.”
Seriously? My vision began to tint red. Seriously?
“Lincoln sure enjoyed them,” she added, throwing fuel onto the fire. “It doesn’t take much to lose the attention of a man like that. A new pair walks by—”
“It’s none of your business,” I spat. Turning on my heel, I strode across the change room. I trusted Lincoln. He’d never touch something as fake as her.
“It is,” Andrea called out after me. “I thought I had him before he dropped me for you. You think you’re any different?”
Pausing at the door, I spun on my heel. “Fuck you, Andrea. Fuck. You. You know shit.”
“Oh, I know a great deal about guys like him,” she said, not bothered by my outburst. “They drop you for the next shiny conquest with wet knickers the second you turn your back.”
Backing away, I ignored the voice of doubt her words had conjured up in my mind. She was just trying to screw with me. Lincoln would never drop me like that, and he’d never, ever cheat. I trusted him.
Hurrying through the gym and out back to where I parked my car, I locked myself inside so I could fume in private. Curling my hands around the steering wheel, a dangerous thought popped into my mind. He’d fucked around with Andrea despite the person she was. Fake and bitchy. Wasn’t that exactly what those cage girls were like? He’d still fucked her despite not wanting any of those things.
Sinking down into the seat, I dropped my head into my hands. Bitch.
Lying in bed, I stared at Lincoln’s bags. He’d left them stacked haphazardly by my bookshelves. A khaki duffel bag and a black suitcase with a bright green tag.
He was all packed and ready to go to the airport in a couple of hours. I should be curled up beside him, enjoying another morning in bed with my newfound confidence and his hot body, but I was on the far side of the bed, staring at his things.
“Vee.”
I closed my eyes at the sound of his husky voice, and a moment later, his hand found me underneath the covers.
“What are you doin’ all the way over there?” he asked, pulling me over to face him.
“Must’ve rolled there in my sleep,” I lied, wrapping my arm around his middle.
His eyes darkened, giving away that I wasn’t fooling him.
“Wanna take a shower?” he asked.
Despite myself, I smiled. I really enjoyed showering with him, and he knew it. Grinning, Lincoln threw the covers off us and pulled me out of bed and into the bathroom. My naked skin prickled with the cold, and he held me close even though his torso was peppered with goose bumps.
Turning on the water, he held his hand underneath the stream and adjusted the temperature before pulling me against his chest. Walking backward into the shower, he pressed his lips against mine, kissing me awake.
“How’s that?” he asked, rubbing his hands up and down my back.
“Nice.”
Running my hand over his abs and downward, I brushed my fingers over his hardening cock. Nothing about this scared me anymore. The darkness had well and truly retreated when we were together. Touching and pleasing him was fast becoming my favorite thing to do.
“Vee.” He gasped as I curled my hand around his length and began to stroke.
My mind went back to the first night he’d made me come with his mouth, and a wicked thought bubbled to the surface. Boldly, I sank to my knees before him.
“Tell me if I’m doing this right,” I muttered and closed my lips around the head of his cock.
His fingers curled through my hair tightly as I sucked. I tasted him as I swirled my tongue, and it wasn’t bad at all, nothing like I had been imagining. Moving my lips downward, I took him deeper into my mouth, and then pulled back again.
“Fuck,” Lincoln hissed above me.
“Good?” I asked, pulling my mouth away. “I wanted to try it at least once.”
Before he could reply, I took him again, but this time, I wrapped my hand around the base of his cock. I moved up and down, sucking harder and harder as I went until he thrust gentl
y into my mouth. He liked it. The thought made me feel powerful, and I dragged my teeth lightly along his skin.
“Fuck, Vee,” he exclaimed. “Stop.”
I pulled away abruptly and glanced up at him. “Stop?”
Reaching down, he hooked his hands underneath my arms and hauled me up against his chest. “Yeah, or I’ll blow in your mouth.”
Wrapping my legs tightly around his waist, I leaned forward, covered his mouth with mine and kissed him. Our tongues explored and tasted, my hands threading through his hair. His big hands cupped my ass and began to massage, and heat spiked between my legs.
“Linc.” I gasped, pulling my lips away from his.
“Vee.”
I could feel his erection rubbing against my opening, and I needed him in me. I felt like I needed to give him everything or risk losing what we’d built, and the sensation was overwhelming. It was a dumb thought, but I’d learned fast that when your body was turned on as much as it was right now, you did stupid shit.
“Take me,” I murmured, grinding in his arms.
His eyes widened. “You want—”
“I want.”
Pinning my back against the tiled wall, he moved a hand to guide himself into me. Rubbing his tip along my seam, he breathed heavily, his eyes hooded. Grasping my leg, he paused as his crown slipped just inside.
“Are you sure?” he asked again.
“If you’re worried about the p-word, I’m on the Pill.”
“I was more worried about…you know.”
“Lincoln.” I moaned, desperate to feel him inside me.
He slid into me, and this time, I could feel the difference. It was truly skin on skin. No more barriers existed between us, and as he began to move, I knew I could never let him go…distance or not.
“Shit.” I quivered, clenching as he hit home, his pelvis rubbing against my clit.
“So good,” he muttered, his lips brushing against the curve of my neck.
I clenched tighter. “Move.”
“I have to go fast, Vee.” He moaned, his fingers biting into my skin. “I’m not gunna last.”