by Mae Argilan
"What are you so somber about?"
Geoff lifted himself off the mattress, and put his head in his hands. He looked crumpled, like a wadded up piece of paper somebody had thrown away.
"I was just thinking."
"Uh-oh. About what?" he asked.
"I didn't mean it," she said, quietly. "All that talk about wanting Phil dead, and how nobody would miss him. I didn't mean it."
"I know that."
"I hated him. I wanted to kill him, well, maim him anyway. But, when I realize he’s gone forever, I feel a loss, I guess that's it. Loss." She paused. "Am I gutless, or what?"
"Gutless? Because you value human life?"
"Don't get carried away. I never said Phil was human."
"You just don't think anybody deserves to be murdered."
"Is that what I said? No, I think people pretty much get what they deserve. At least I used to think that. Lately, it seems like I'm trapped in some cosmic pinball game."
"The cosmic gamester is going to have to come up with something scarier."
"Scarier than death? What's scarier than death?"
"I don't know. Life?"
"Very Zen. I also can't stop wondering if they are the same guys who killed Phil, and if we're next. I keep going over it, and over it."
"You need to get your mind off it. If you keep thinking about death you're going to attract it to us."
"I don'twant to think about it. Can’t help it."
"There's a Scottish belief that death is attracted by the scent of the grave, like sharks on a trail of blood. There’s a way to keep death from your door."
"Death repellent?" Glenn asked, with a smirk.
Geoff sat up on the edge of the bed. "In the old days people believed spirits roamed the earth. Spirits were powerful, but not very bright. You could fool them by wearing masks. All except Death. It takes something powerful to defeat him." Geoff got to his feet, and came toward her. "The only thing that will shake the scent of the grave from you is something life-affirming. Thus, the funeral wake. People gather in the presence of the corpse to eat, drink, and enjoy the company of the living."
"Living well is the best revenge?"
"Living. Period. It's the antidote for Death." Geoff put his lips in the crook of Glenn’s neck. "I saw Death creeping up on you. Don't look now, but he's right behind you."
"Are you trying to scare me, or seduce me?"
"I'm chasing Death away." His lips brushed her ear lobe.
"And, this will trick Death?"
"What is more life-affirming than procreation?" He kissed the side of her face.
"You sure you want to tangle with me? You could get hurt," she said.
"You still don’t think I'm man enough for you?"
"You are wounded. I wouldn't want to hurt you."
"That reminds me of a song. Want to hear it? I wrote it for you."
"I bet you say that to all the girls." She looked at him, and smiled. "You're good. I know you’re lying, and yet, I almost believe you."
"Hush." He leaned close. "I breathe you inside me, The perfume of your name. The fire in your eyes makes my soul catch flame." He took her hand, and placed it on his chest. "Your touch melts my heart, With love's sacred pain, Come wound me at last." He cupped her chin in his hand. "Consume me again."
He kissed her, and she found herself believing the old ways. She put her forehead against his. "How does that go again? Your touch melts my heart ." She placed his hand on her chest. "With love's sacred pain?"
"Come wound me at last." His hand followed the contour of her figure.
"Come wound me," she said. "Consume me again."
His eyes played over her face as he traced a heart around her lips. She slipped her flannel shirt off her shoulders, and his fingertips touched her T-shirt. He ran his soft lips across the curve of her neck.
"This feels all wrong," he said. "You deserve better than this. Candlelight and Champagne, satin sheets. Give me a second," he said. "I know where I can find some candles, at least."
Geoff roamed around, finding candles, and lighting them. Then, he turned off the lights. When he returned, he swept her into his arms, crushing her against his bandaged chest.
"I love you," he said. "I've loved you since I first laid eyes on you."
"You did not. You were nasty to me."
"I had to be, because I loved you."
"Stop saying that."
"Would you rather just go through the motions? Wouldn't you rather hear the words, if they come from my heart?" He held her at arm’s length. "What's the matter?"
"Can't we just get this over with without all the hearts and flowers?"
"I think making love should have something to do with love. And, what do you mean, ‘get it over with’?"
"I didn't mean it the way it sounded," she said.
"You sure know how to throw cold water on a guy."
"I wish I hadn't said anything. I’ll keep my mouth shut."
"Don’t," he said, and nibbled her bottom lip. "It's an interesting mouth. But, you've got to let me say what I want."
"You talk too much."
Glenn sighed, and ran her fingertips across his collarbone. He put his fingers on her chin, closed his eyes, and placed his lips over hers. Something inside her took wing, some wild thing broke free. Her lips parted, and she pressed herself to him. She had that sensation again, as if she was drowning in chocolate. She pulled away, slid off the desk, and strolled across the room, glancing back over her shoulder with a ‘come and get me’ look in her eye.
"You have a very sensuous body. Do you know that?" He joined her on the bed. "And, when you work, you sway. I knew the moment I saw you take that picture that I wanted to take you to bed."
"Which picture?"
"The one of my parents. You set your feet like a sprinter in starting blocks, one in front, the back foot up on the toe. Then, your knees dipped. You bent at the waist, your hips slid back, and your rear end hung suspended in air. I wanted to tackle you right then and there."
"In front of your folks? That's pretty sick."
"I prefer being alone with you like this, nothing but you, and me, and the night." He circled her with his arms. "You make me feel like Columbus. New worlds are waiting to be discovered." He put his palm on hers, and their fingers entwined. "I never tasted anything until I kissed you, now nothing will ever taste sweet again."
"How can you think of such pretty things to say?"
"How can I not, when I'm with you?"
His steady gaze smoldered darkly, and candlelight flickered across him, streaking his hair and skin with red and gold like sunset, softening the angular set of his jaw. She'd never seen him like this, and she had an irresistible impulse to capture him.
"Where are you going?"
"Don't move." Glenn scurried across the room, and searched the darkness for her camera bag.
"No, don't. Not that."
She dragged it into the light that spilled in the bottom of the window. "This won't take a minute."
"Come back to bed." He held his hand out to her. "Please don't do this."
"What if I can't help myself? Moments like this make you gush poetry. They affect me differently."
He put his face in his hands, and groaned. "What am I doing wrong?"
"Nothing. Believe me, you’re doing everything right. You look so great in this light, so handsome, and masculine. Just one picture? I'll let you use the‘L’ word."
"Will you say the‘L’ word to me?"
She chewed on her bottom lip. "Maybe." She snapped the camera together, held it in the window light, and read the F-stop. "Just one, and I'll come back to bed. For good. For the rest of the night."
"I never heard anything so ridiculous in my life."
"This is how I express myself. If you can't accept that, we would be just going through the motions."
He stared at her for a moment. "Aren't you cold?"
"Freezing."
"Well, we can't have you c
ooling down too much," he said. "What do you want me to do? Just sit here?"
"I'll pose you in a minute." She swung the camera into the light.
"You're about halfway kinky, did anybody ever tell you that?" Geoff said.
"This isn't porn, it's art," she said.
"I bet you say that to all the guys."
She laughed. "Can I help it if you're so photogenic?"
She straightened, and something caught the corner of her eye—something outside, below. She leaned forward, and saw someone cross the lawn. A student who didn't go home for Christmas? He met another person, and they looked up at the dormitory. She saw their breath in the night air when they spoke. One of them pointed toward her, and she drew a sharp breath.
"What is it?"
Geoff was at her side in a second. The two men split up and came toward the building.
"How did they find us? How did they know we were here?"
Geoff took the camera out of Glenn’s hand. "Get your coat on."
"Where are we going?" She ran her hands through her hair, and tried to think. "They'll just find us again."
"No, they won't. Put it on. Now."
Glenn disappeared inside her coat while he went into the hall. He ran back, and locked the door.
"I don't know how they got inside. They must have campus security with them. We can't get out that way." He pulled on a crew neck sweater, and his leather jacket. "The window."
"I can't get away from them, from what I've done."
Geoff wet his thumb and finger, and pinched the flames off the candles. There was a small hiss, then darkness. "We're not done for yet."
"You go. It's me they want. Save yourself."
"Talk about macho." He opened the window, put a foot on the sill, and an arm back for her. "I'm not leaving without you. Take my hand. I'll carry you if I have to."
Cold air rushed into the room, and her eyes watered. "You've done too much for me already."
Geoff stretched, grabbed her, and pulled her through the window onto the fire escape. "They're down there." He closed the window. "Have to go to the roof. Climb."
She scaled the icy rungs, hand over hand, until they reached the roof. He took her hand, and made for the rooftop door.
"Once we get inside I can find a way to get past them. One advantage is that I know this building better than they do. Gr, it’s locked."
Glenn flung her arms around him. "Hold me. One last time."
"Stop being so melodramatic. We're getting out of here," he said. "I won't let anything happen to you. I haven't so far, have I?"
"Everything seems so peaceful up here. Look how clear the stars are. So bright and near, like you could touch them," she said.
"Let's go."
"It's over. I know what I have to do. Just promise you won't hate me."
"Stop talking nonsense. I could never hate you."
"They're going to tell you what I did and you're going to hate me."
"Never."
"Tell me you love me once more before they come."
"But, they're not..."
"No, don't say it. I don't deserve you. I deserve...I'll distract them. You slip away. After I'm gone, they'll leave you alone."
She took his face in her hands, and kissed him.
"I do love you, you know," she said, and smiled. "I didn't want to, but I do. How could I not?"
She ran for the edge of the roof. She wouldn't stop, wouldn't look down. She'd step on the wall, and hurl herself into cold uncaring space. There'd be a few seconds of free fall, then oblivion. They'd be so startled to see her that they'd forget all about him. He'd escape, and all her worries would be over. She'd do one worthy thing with her life, and stop this thing in the bargain. The wall was seconds away. Courage for just a few more yards, and then, escape. Escape for both of them. She sprinted faster, and then her feet were out from under her, and she was flying.
12
God’s face was starry and serene. God’s voice was deep. It boomed inside her. He wrapped her in arms of steel, as angels sang, "Oh, God, my God."
Geoff’s face came into focus above Glenn.
"My God! What are you trying to do? Kill yourself?"
Glenn felt gravel digging into her back, and realized her legs had been knocked out from under her. Geoff had robbed her of her heroic deed, plucked her from the vest pocket of God. She was angry, and resentful. And relieved, so relieved.
"Get off me." She scrambled to her feet. "Why couldn't you let me do it? After what I did."
"What do you think you've done?"
"You want to know? All right." Her voice faltered. "It's me. I'm the one."
There was a thumping on the door. Geoff pushed her ahead of him.
"We've got to get inside," he said.
"Listen to me. I'm the reason Bobby is dead. Do you hear me? I'm the one who killed your brother."
Geoff pinned her against the door with his forearm. "You think this is some sort of joke? Why would you say such a horrible thing?" A key picked at the lock, and he put his lips against her cheek. "When I tell you to, slam the door." He stood in front of the door with his hands in the air. "Slam it hard. Understand?"
Glenn swallowed a rising groan. It couldn't have been more than a few seconds before the door edged open, and Geoff faced a police revolver. It was the bravest thing she had ever seen, and she concentrated on him with eerie fascination.
"Don't shoot, man! I'm not resisting." Geoff put his hands behind his neck.
"Where's the other one? The girl?"
The door opened wider. Glenn held her breath, and flattened against the wall.
"Over the side," Geoff said, pointing. "I couldn't get her up the fire escape. She was acting crazy, screaming, and crying."
"Get down. Face first."
"Anything you say."
Geoff knelt down. A revolver inched into view, attached to leather arms. It was grasped in both hands, and pointed at Geoff’s chest.
"On your face."
Geoff went down on all fours. The pistol shifted to the left hand, and when it did the barrel nosed upward.
"Down." The guard reached for cuffs on the back of his belt.
"Now!" Geoff yelled, and hugged the rooftop.
Glenn threw every ounce of her weight against the door. The security guard was slender, and the force caught him like her Louisville slugger. The gun spun suspended from his finger. Geoff somersaulted, dropping the guard and the revolver at the same time. In the brief scuffle Geoff’s knee found the guard's chest, and Glenn scuttled across the roof like a crab to retrieve the gun. The guard shouted until Glenn handed the pistol to Geoff who put it under the guard’s chin.
"Hush, now," Geoff said. "I'm nervous, and I don't know enough about guns to keep one from going off, even accidentally. Okay? Are we clear?"
Glenn picked up the guard’s cap, and put it on her head to free her hands. "What are we going to do with him?"
The guard said, "Why don't you handcuff me to the door?"
"You’ll warn the others," Glenn said.
"Take my radio." The guard pointed to the hand mike on his belt.
"You're being awfully helpful," Glenn said.
"Hey man, I just work here. This is my kid’s first Christmas, and I only took this job because it seemed like a nice quiet way to earn a little extra cash. Most of these buildings are empty. The last thing my wife told me was that she'd kill me if I got shot. If you think I'm gonna trade that to bust a couple college kids."
"You really want to help, tell us how to get out of here," Geoff said.
"You can't. All the exits are covered."
"If we did get out, could we get to my car?" Geoff asked.
"I wouldn't. They've got it."
Geoff took a couple steps back. "Get his handcuffs, and lock him to the door."
"Won't we need him?" Glenn asked, as the guard walked in front of her.
"I'd rather not do that if we can help it," Geoff said.
"Thanks, man,
" the guard said, and Glenn was struck by the youthfulness of his voice. As she secured one cuff to the door handle, he said, "You don't look like such bad ass perpetrators. What did you do? Feds down there are real serious."
"Feds?" Geoff asked.
"Yeah, not to mention us campus guys."
"Damn," Geoff said.
"I told you," Glenn said. "They're never going to let us leave this place alive."
"Come on," the guard said. "What did you do?"
"Don't you know? What did they tell you?" Geoff asked.
"Nothing. I’m nobody."
"You want me to cuff…" Glenn began, then jumped at a sudden blurt of radio static.
"Answer it," Geoff said, waving the gun at the guard. "No heroics." Geoff leveled the pistol at him, and cocked the hammer.
"Unit Seven reporting. Spotted them on the fourth floor. Repeat. All units to the fourth floor."
"That's a copy, Unit Seven."
"That'll keep them off the roof for a few minutes," Unit Seven told them.
Glenn said, "It's a trick. He's playing us."
"Probably." Geoff stared at her for a full five seconds. "You know? In this light...I wonder if that would work? Get undressed."
"What?" Glenn asked.
"Not you," Geoff said. "You, guard, take off your uniform. Hurry up, we've wasted enough time. Shirt first, then you cuff him."
The guard started unbuttoning his shirt.
Glenn said, "You can't fit into his uniform. He's shorter than you."
"But you can," Geoff said. "Give me your coat."
Unit Seven stripped to his skivvies, Glenn slipped his khaki uniform over her clothes, and Geoff orchestrated everything wearing her overcoat.
"The waist is too big," she said.
"Tighten the belt."
"It's as tight as it goes."
"Then tie it, don't buckle it."
"The holster weighs a ton. I'll never be able to keep these pants up."
"Could you just stop whining for one second?" Geoff asked. "Put the cap on. Let him keep his jacket. You can wear mine. It looks the same in the dark and, well, if they spot that much we're doomed anyway. Here," Geoff said, to Unit Seven. "It's too cold out here to leave you naked. You have to promise not to call for help."