yes
does that help?
So it’s like being unhappy but in your leg?
But it’s also just what it is, like red is red and blue is blue.
But red isn’t red, it’s waves and it’s red to us.
So there you are, that’s what it’s like.
Can I pinch you again?
EARTHQUAKE
Have you seen the earthquake? There’s this building my god you think things are solid but they just break.
Yes I’ve seen it.
Imagine being in it, imagine you’re lying on your back and there’s this wall a few inches above your face and you can’t sit up even an inch and if you do it might come down on you. And the air running out, you keep trying to get a deep breath but you can’t breathe deeply enough because very soon there’s going to be no more oxygen. And if you were injured if you’re in pain while all that’s going on and where are your family are they dead or in agony and will anyone come to get you out and how many hours or days, I’m just so upset by it.
I wouldn’t want to be in it obviously, poor them of course. I mean I do know about it.
But you don’t care.
I can’t say I feel it, no. You really feel it?
I cried. Of course I feel it. I cried.
Ok.
And imagine the wave coming, imagine hearing it coming and running away and you can’t get away, it came so fast did you see how fast it came?
Yes, I saw it.
You’re not upset though.
That black wave with the cars in it was awesome.
7
CHINESE POETRY
‘The girl waits at the door of her house on the mountain.’
What it literally says is ‘mountain girl door’.
So maybe
A girl from the mountain is waiting outside my door. A girl climbs the mountain and comes to a door.
To get the girl you have to go through a door into the mountain.
The mountain is a door only a girl can open.
The girl’s as big as a mountain and can’t get through the door.
What’s the next line?
MANIC
My god, look at that flower, thank you so much, have you ever seen such a red, red is blood and bullfights and seeing red is anger but red is joyful, red is celebration,
yes, I like it
in China red is lucky how lucky we are to have red flowers,
shall I get a vase?
in China white is death and here black is death but ghosts are white of course so a chessboard is death against death, and blood of course could be death but it’s lifeblood isn’t it, if you look at the flower it’s so astounding
yes
it means so much to me that you gave me red flowers because red is so significant don’t you think? it means stop and of course it means go because it’s the colour of energy and red cars have the most accidents because people are excited by red or people who are already excited like to have red, I’d like to have red, I’ll buy a red car this afternoon and we can go for a drive, we can go right up through the whole country don’t you think, we can go to Scotland we can go to John o’ Groats, did he eat a lot of porridge do you think? but we don’t have to start from Land’s End or Land’s Beginning we should say if we start from there but we won’t we’ll start from here because here is always the place we start from, isn’t that funny, and I need to drive along all the roads in the country because I have to see to the traffic because there are too many cars as everyone knows but our car won’t be one too many you’ll be quite safe, we’ll make sure it’s all flowing smoothly in every direction because cars do go in every direction possible and everything goes in every possible direction, so we’ll find a vase for the flowers,
yes
I think a green vase because of the primary colours and if they were blue I’d put them in an orange vase and if they were yellow I’d put them in a purple vase, yellow and purple is Easter of course so that’s why crocuses, and red and green is Christmas which isn’t right now of course it’s the wrong time of year, I might have to sort that out when I’ve got a minute.
GRIEF
Are you sleeping?
I wake up early but that’s all right in the summer.
Eating?
Oh enough. Don’t fuss.
I’ve never had someone die.
I’m sorry, I’ve nothing to say. Nothing seems very interesting.
He must have meant everything to you.
Maybe. We’ll see.
FATE
I’m just saying you’ve got no choice
I have
you have of course you feel as if you have
I have got a choice
you’ve got a choice but you’ve no choice about what that choice is, you’ll make whichever choice
whichever choice I want
whichever choice you want but you’ll want what you want because you have to want what
I don’t have to want
you do because of what you’re like, that’s what what you’re like means that you’re going to want what you want, because there’s your genes and everything that’s happened to you and everything else that’s happening and all that stuff makes your brain be like that
like what?
like it is
what’s it like?
I don’t know of course I don’t know nobody knows, but if someone could have that information they’d know exactly what you were going to
they can’t know
you’re crying about it now
I’m not
I knew you would.
But there’s random
oh there’s random
there’s random particles you can’t
if you think you’re like a random particle
no but
if you think you’re a random particle just fizzing
but you can’t predict even where
if you think free will is a random particle there’s nothing very noble
I didn’t say noble
so what is free will if it’s not what you’re like?
No one could possibly have all that information.
No, of course not.
So maybe that’s all right.
I think it’s fine. But it does change how you feel, don’t you think?
I feel a bit funny
yes you feel as if you’re hurtling
hurtling through my life
like the front seat of a roller-coast
but I feel like I’m choosing
yes of course
but I feel like I’m in the front seat of a roller-coaster.
STONE
He’s got a special stone.
Is that what he’s holding?
Yes he’s always got it in his hand.
I know he’s always holding
never puts it down
have you seen it?
saw it once
how
made him open his
shall we get it?
I think he needs it
yes shall we get it?
They get the stone and throw it away.
Go and get it then
it’s over there
will he know which one?
he can get another one
he might want that one
shall we get him one?
Here have a stone
have another stone
have a stone
Throwing them.
VIRTUAL
I don’t care what you say
no but listen
I’ve never felt like this
that’s not the point what you feel
it’s the only
because she doesn’t exist
I’m not listening.
She doesn’t
have you seen her?
yes I’ve seen her but she doesn’t
have you talked to her?
I don’t want to talk to
t
hen what do you know about it?
she’s not a real
so?
so you admit she’s not
she exists she still exists
fine all right she exists but so does your shoe or a can of
you’re saying she’s no different than a shoe?
she’s got no more feelings than
what do you know about
she’s a thing she’s a thing.
Look I appreciate your concern but just
look
she’s beautiful she’s intelligent she understands me
she doesn’t understand you
she listens to me she likes my poems she’s the only
doesn’t understand any
she reads my mind she’s sensitive to my every
but she’s virtual
so?
so she’s not
I can’t believe just because someone’s not flesh and blood you’d
she’s just information
and what are you if you’re not
yes I know we’re
so we’re information our genes our
yes but she hasn’t
what?
hasn’t got an inside to her mind she’s not conscious she can’t
how do you know she
she’s a computer she’s a computer game she’s not
and can you tell that from what she says?
I don’t need to
but can you tell
because she can’t
she might and how could she prove it because you wouldn’t believe
I certainly wouldn’t
because she says she has
what, thoughts
of course thoughts feelings because she’s that complicated she says she loves
she can’t possibly
we know people won’t understand but we don’t care what you
and what about sex
what about
she hasn’t got a body
she’s got a fantastic
but not a body you can
she’s not in this country at the moment
she can’t ever
and the sex is great
it’s virtual
it’s virtual and great
but she never feels
I don’t care what you say
no but listen
I’ve never felt like this about anyone.
SMALL THING
What are you looking at?
A snail.
Is that the same snail?
Yes. I’ve been looking at it for a while.
And?
I’m just looking at it.
LAST SCENE
FACTS
Who was president of Coca-Cola from nineteen twenty-five to seven?
HB Jones.
What is the smallest village in Central Asia?
Qat.
Where would you see a huish?
In a gnu’s fur.
How many diamonds were mined in 1957?
Sixty thousand four hundred and twenty-eight.
Name two traditional ingredients of poulash.
Duck and fennel.
In 1647 what day was the battle of Stoneham?
June the third. Tuesday.
How far is it from here to the quasar d 66?
Three point four billion light years.
What sound does a capercaillie make?
Aaaah.
Who had the longest hair?
Matilda Lucas.
Of ?
Brighouse, Connecticut.
What colour is the caterpillar of the brown-haired bat moth?
Pale orange with black stripes.
Do you love me?
Don’t do that.
What is the formula that disproves Gödel’s theorem?
X bracket a over t minus pi sigma close bracket to the power of ten minus n to the power of minus one squared
What is a plok?
A stringed instrument played by the Larts of the the Gobi Desert
By what name do we usually refer to Oceanus Australensis Picardia?
I do yes I do. Sea anemone.
RANDOM
RANDOM
These things can happen in any section. DEPRESSION is an essential part of the play. The other random items are optional.
DEPRESSION
Each of these is a separate random item. Each is said by one person to another who doesn’t respond. The characters can be the same each time, or the depressed person can be the same and the others different, or they can all be different.
we could go for a walk it’s a beautiful
there’s an exhibition of expressionist
chicken tikka masala
programme starts at 6.40 or if you’d rather we could
glass of red or
thinking of taking one of the kittens there’s a ginger one or a
maybe you could read them a story tonight or
the difficulty of getting the Israelis and Palestinians to
and he only has two months to live so I thought we could
a fountain of antimatter in the Milky Way that nobody knew
OPTIONAL
SEMAPHORE
MORSE
SIGN LANGUAGE
BIRDSONG
DANCE
FLAGS
PAINTING
Someone has a large canvas and is flicking paint at it.
PIG LATIN
Ancay ouyay eakspay igpay atinlay?
SANTA
Father Christmas lands his sleigh on the roof and comes down the chimney with his big sack of toys and he’ll put presents in your stocking
TABLES
Seven sevens are forty-nine, seven eights are fifty-six, seven nines are sixty-three, seven tens are seventy, seven elevens are seventyseven, seven twelves are eighty-four, seven thirteens are ninety-one
GENES
AGT TCG AGC CCT TGA CTT GAT TGT GCA TAC CGT GCT TGA GTC ATG TTG CAC AAC TTG TCG GTC TCA GTA TGC CCG TGA AAT GTA CAT GTC CGG TCC GAA TCT GAT TGC CCT TTG TGG AAC TGT GTG GCA TAG CTA GCC TGG GAC CCT TTG GGC TGC ACT TGA TTG TCA CCA GGT TGT TCT GTT GAA TCA TGA TCG GAC CCA CGT CGG CTG GCC GAC TTT GAC CGG AGT GGT TGT ACC TTG GTC AGG AAT TGA ACG
DOG
Come. Sit. Stay. Come. Good dog. Fetch. Drop it. Fetch. Good dog. Roll over. Good dog. Come. Heel. No. Come.
KEYS
You don’t know where I put the car keys, do you?
MAGAZINE
she’s lost two stone… he was going to leave her… look, he’s coming out of a club with an unnamed blonde…
GOOGLE
There’s a train at 4.22 gets in at half-past eight.
TWITTER
He’s in the kitchen cooking spaghetti and he’s upset about the news from Tripoli.
ZEN
What’s the sound of one hand clapping? I’ve heard that one.
COLD
Someone sneezes.
SILENCE
This can happen more than once, for different lengths of time.
CARYL CHURCHILL
Caryl Churchill has written for the stage, television and radio. Her stage plays include Owners (Royal Court Theatre Upstairs, 1972); Objections to Sex and Violence (Royal Court, 1975), Light Shining in Buckinghamshire (Joint Stock on tour incl. Theatre Upstairs, 1976); Vinegar Tom (Monstrous Regiment on tour, incl. Half Moon and ICA, 1976); Traps (Theatre Upstairs , 1977); Cloud Nine (Joint Stock on tour incl. Royal Court, London, 1979, then Theatre de Lys, New York, 1981); Three More Sleepless Nights (Soho Poly and Theatre Upstairs, 1980); Top Girls (Royal Court London, then Public Theater, New York, 1982); Fen (Joint Stock on tour, incl. Almeida and Royal Court, London, then Public Theatre, New York, 1983); Softcops (RSC at the Pit, 1984); A Mouthful of Birds with David Lan (Joint Stock on tour, incl. Royal Court, 1986); Serious Money (Royal Court and Wyndham’s, London, then Public Theater, New York, 1987); Icecream (Royal Court, 1989); Mad Forest (Central School of Speech and Drama, then Royal Court, 1990); Lives of the G
reat Poisoners with Orlando Gough and Ian Spink (Second Stride on tour, incl. Riverside Studios, London, 1991); The Skriker (Royal National Theatre, 1994); Thyestes translated from Seneca (Royal Court Theatre Upstairs, 1994); Hotel with Orlando Gough and Ian Spink (Second Stride on tour, incl. The Place, London, 1997); This is a Chair (London International Festival of Theatre at the Royal Court, 1997); Blue Heart (Joint Stock on tour, incl. Royal Court Theatre, 1997); Far Away (Royal Court Theatre Upstairs, 2000, and Albery, London, 2001, then New York Theatre Workshop, 2002); A Number (Royal Court Theatre Downstairs, 2002, then New York Theatre Workshop, 2004); A Dream Play after Strindberg (Royal National Theatre, 2005); Drunk Enough to Say I Love You? (Royal Court Theatre Upstairs, 2006, then Public Theater, New York, 2008); Bliss, translated from Olivier Choinière (Royal Court Theatre, 2008); Seven Jewish Children – a play for Gaza (Royal Court Theatre, 2009); Love and Information (Royal Court Theatre Downstairs, 2012); Ding Dong the Wicked (Royal Court Theatre Downstairs, 2012).
A Nick Hern Book
Love and Information first published as a paperback original in 2012 by
Nick Hern Books Limited, The Glasshouse, 49a Goldhawk Road,
London W12 8QP, in association with the Royal Court Theatre, London
This ebook edition first published in 2012
Love and Information copyright © 2012 Caryl Churchill Limited
Caryl Churchill has asserted her right to be identified as the author of this work
Cover image: sciencevisuals.com
Cover design: Ned Hoste, 2H
Typeset by Nick Hern Books, London
A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library
ISBN 978 1 78001 171 4 (ePub format)
ISBN 978 1 84842 288 9 (Print edition)
CAUTION This ebook is copyright material and must not be copied, reproduced, transferred, distributed, leased, licensed or publicly performed or used in any way except as specifically permitted in writing by the publishers, as allowed under the terms and conditions under which it was purchased or as strictly permitted by applicable copyright law. Any unauthorised distribution or use of this text may be a direct infringement of the author’s and publisher’s rights, and those responsible may be liable in law accordingly.
Amateur Performing Rights Applications for performance, in excerpt or in full by non-professionals in English throughout the world should be addressed to Samuel French Ltd, 52 Fitzroy Street, London W1T 5JR, fax +44 (0)20 7387 2161, or their overseas agents.
Love and Information Page 4