To: [email protected]
Subject: Strange stuff
Ruby,
I really do appreciate you sending me the box. I reread the message I sent and it didn’t sound half as appreciative as I wanted it to. Don’t know how you even thought to try dehydrated cheese, but it was genius. I already ate one pizza and have zero complaints. It was a little piece of home I needed after this crap week. I nuked everything in the microwave like your instructions said… Debating whether to stretch out what I got left or eat more tomorrow. I try not to save things just in case there isn’t another time, know what I mean? I’m looking forward to seeing what books you sent. Thanks. Really.
Ruby, I had just been kidding about peeing….
I’ve been through a patrol where we only had a canteen a day. We can get as much water as we want. I don’t take it for granted. They tell us to crush the water bottles when we’re done with them so that the company who does the bottling doesn’t try to reuse them.
I swear I don’t remember the titles of the books. If I see the covers, I’d recognize them. I’ll tell you if I see them.
Ender’s Game is one of those books I wish they’d make into a movie… but I bet it wouldn’t be as good as the book.
That’s good you still keep in touch with your dad, but I can’t get over your mom being remarried to someone a few years older than you. Is that weird? Do you care?
Your brother got all of you high?
Growing up, my parents were strict Baptists and both their parents… my grandparents… were… uptight. I don’t remember any of them ever laughing or smiling. My dad’s a good guy. I wouldn’t call my birth mom a good person though, but she was all right when I was real little. Nothing seemed… off… until I was in middle school and started spending time at my best friend’s place that I noticed how different things were. It isn’t a big deal now. My dad’s happy enough, and my birth mom… I don’t know if she’ll ever be happy, but that’s on her.
What concert did you go to? Did you have a good time? What do you do when you don’t work? I know you said you kill ducks for fun, but what else?
My ex e-mailed me. She wanted to let me know she added me as a reference on a job application. I don’t know why she would think that’s a good idea. Does she expect me to answer my imaginary phone or write back an e-mail telling someone to hire her? Would you ever ask an ex for a reference, or is that as stupid of a request as I think it is? My mind is blown, but maybe I’m that tired. You tell me.
You don’t have to answer my question ^^^ if you don’t want to. Sometimes I feel like I don’t understand women and never will. No offense… I don’t mean you.
-A
From: [email protected]
Date: November 4, 2008 1:05 a.m.
To: [email protected]
Subject: No
Aaron,
Your message was fine, and I’m relieved my cheese experiments weren’t in vain. :)I had my mom’s husband try some of it to give me a second opinion. Not that it says much because I’ve seen him eat food with mold on it after he scraped it off.
If you were anyone else and our conversations were any different, I would feel more embarrassed than I do right now, but I think we’re past that. I peed in public. I’ll own up to it.
Speaking of peeing… do you pee in the bottles? My brother told me when he was in Afghanistan and it was cold, that there was no way he was getting out of bed to go to the bathroom. He’d roll over and pee in one instead. Not that he learned that in the military or anything. He and my brother mastered that art on family road trips when my mom would refuse to stop to use the bathroom, unless she needed to go, to save time.
I agree. I’d love for them to make a movie, but I doubt it would be as good. (But the costumes!)
Lol! Each husband has gotten younger and better looking. My mom was twenty-eight when she had me, so get that into perspective. After my dad, husband #2 was three years younger than her. (My mom is ten years younger than my dad). They were together for two years. Husband #3 was ten years younger than her, and they stayed together 8 years. He was my favorite. Husband #4 has been around a year now. They work at the same company and met that way. The next thing I knew, she was bringing him over for Thanksgiving, and by Christmas, they were married.
My older sister isn’t a fan of how many times she’s been married, and she hates that the men have been so young. The rest of us though don’t really care. I don’t. My mom doesn’t look her age. If you look up cougar in the dictionary, they would have her name as an example in a sentence. Who am I to tell her not to snag some young guy if she can? I think for a long time, she was hurt because of splitting up with my dad and wanted to make a point, but she didn’t let it keep her down. Honestly, I think my dad still gets jealous over it. Maybe I shouldn’t pick favorites, but… go Mom, you know?
That was an info drop.
We were high out of our minds thanks to those brownies on Christmas, Aaron. I’m not exaggerating. Usually people have family get-togethers and you know there’s going to be leftovers that everyone has to take home, right? There weren’t any. NONE. If the grocery store would have been open, I’m sure we would have taken a taxi to go buy snacks. We laughed the entire night. I should’ve known something was up when my little sister was going to break her diet for once to get a piece and he didn’t let her. Part of me hopes he’ll do it again this year, but we’ll see. Maybe I can hint at it. Please don’t call the cops on us.
I understand the religious point. I have a friend who was raised with a cult-type religious family. She couldn’t wear skirts, tie up her hair, or watch television. She ended up running away when we were in high school. My mom was a pretty strict Catholic up until she and my dad got divorced. Then she decided the church wasn’t so important, lol. The only time she goes now is for family baptisms and maybe Easter. I am sorry to hear that your relationship with your birth mom isn’t the best.
How long have you and your best friend known each other?
I went to see my favorite band. They’re called The Cloud Collision. You probably haven’t heard of them. They’re indie rock with an even balance of screaming and amazing vocals. It’s kind of hard to explain. I’ve been a fan for a few years. Every time they play close by, I go watch them.
When I’m not killing ducks on television, reading or playing pranks on my family, I like to go to the movies. I used to be pretty big into cosplay (if you don’t know what that is, I can explain, but I don’t want to assume you don’t since you play video games), but my friends have kind of chilled out on going to conventions, and since I work so much, I don’t make costumes for fun like I used to. I like trying new things too. I was taking some kickboxing classes recently, and before that I did aikido for a while. I like going to festivals and museums too.
I hope I’m not crossing the line when I tell you your ex has lost it. What was she thinking trying to use you as a reference? If you two had gotten off on good terms, I would understand, but from the little you told me, that doesn’t seem like the case.
For the record, I’ve been a female for twenty-three years and I still don’t understand myself half the time. Good luck.
Hope you’re okay.
-Ruby
From: [email protected]
Date: November 9, 2008 2:51 p.m.
To: [email protected]
Subject: Yes
Ruby,
Sorry for the delay again. We had another blackout. It’s been a rough week.
I think we’re good to say we can talk about body… stuff at this point. :]
I’ve got peeing into water bottles mastered. I could teach a class on doing it without standing up. Winters in Afghanistan are no joke, your brother was right. You don’t roll out of your warm cot to pee outside there.
You and your costumes. Some of us watched The Dark Knight and I caught myself looking at what all the actors wore. I’m blaming you.
#4 is more than twenty years younger than your mom? Your dad
has got to be jealous. I would. She must be a hell of a woman.
Good call on him not letting your sister have any. I bet they drug test her, right? I haven’t had special brownies since high school. If your brother brings some for Christmas, I’ll have to live through you. Record it. I wouldn’t call the cops on you.
Don’t apologize about my birth mom. She hasn’t been in my life for twenty years.
I have two best friends. The one I mentioned I’ve known since seventh grade, that’s about eighteen years. My other best friend, I met freshman year of high school.
I haven’t heard of The Cloud Collision, but I like the name.
I know what cosplay is. Which characters did you do? I’ve always wanted to go to one of the big conventions they have. Why did you start taking aikido classes? The only kind of festivals I’ve ever been to have been music ones… remember the stepping in crap accident… but I’ve only been to two, and one was in Germany. It was… wild.
I don’t know what my ex was on writing me that. She has other people she could ask… I don’t get it. You ever had any exes do stupid stuff like that? Say yes, I wouldn’t mind knowing someone else has had it worse than me sometimes. Every girl I’ve ever dated has been the devil. My best friend says I’m a magnet for the crazy ones and liars.
Hope you’re all right.
-Aaron
From: [email protected]
Date: November 10, 2008 12:05 a.m.
To: [email protected]
Subject: Hi
Aaron,
I’m sorry about the blackout. I hope it wasn’t someone you know again.
What’s your tent situation like? My brother told me once, and this was a years ago when everyone was in the Middle East, that a lot of reservists who were stationed where he was had to sleep outside because there wasn’t enough room. He’d complain about how bad the mosquitoes and the mice were. Yuck. I just picture them crawling all over you while you’re sleeping on the floor.
I’m stupidly pleased at you appreciating the wardrobe for Batman. I remember reading the designer had to make her own material for the suit. It’s dorky, but I think that is so mind-blowing. I like movies where I can enjoy those details.
My mom is a hell of a woman. I’ll send you a picture as long as you promise not to become my new stepdad. I like #4.
Lol! I’ll have my phone on me Thanksgiving Day just in case anything goes down worth recording. I’m sure it will. To answer your question about drug testing, yes, my little sister does get tested. She’s paranoid and only takes aspirin and basic antibiotics whenever she gets sick.
So are all three of you BFFs? What do they do?
I love cosplay. I’ve done a lot of costumes, but my favorites were during my Fifth Element phase. Have you seen it? I’ve always wanted to go to the big conventions too! I’ve only been to local ones. The only reason why I started taking aikido was because I was bored and this gym by my mom’s house was having a New Years’ deal. I got my older sister to do it with me, but she quit after a few months. I’ve never been into sports; if I see a ball anywhere close by, I’m going to turn around and walk the other way, but I like martial arts.
Aren’t those festivals in Germany insane and just packed with people? How long was your tour there?
How long were you and your ex together?
^^ You don’t have to answer that. As for you being a magnet for crazy girls and liars, I don’t want to say you only have yourself to blame, but you’re the one who decided to date them, right? :) I’m messing with you. Kind of. I’d think you were full of crap about the kind of women you attract, but my oldest brother is the same way. My older sister says he gets all the “batshit crazy” ones, and it’s true. He’s had his car keyed three times by three different women. My niece’s mom is the devil. He’s had stalkers. You guys either like the crazy or need a new radar.
It’s been a while since I shared a joke with you. Here you go:
What do you call fake spaghetti?
…an im-pasta.
You’re welcome.
Hope you’re okay.
-Ruby
From: [email protected]
Date: November 10, 2008 12:25 a.m.
To: [email protected]
Subject: I’m Sorry
Aaron,
I hope you’ll forgive me for not telling you the truth, but I can’t keep going with it. I feel so bad. I can’t handle the lies anymore.
I don’t have a boyfriend. I’ve never had a boyfriend. I made him up when we first started messaging each other because I was paranoid after the incident with the “tick lick” guy. Now that I’ve gotten to know you and like you, I know you aren’t anything like him. I’m sorry for not being upfront with you to begin with, but I hope you understand why I did it.
The repentant liar,
Ruby
From: [email protected]
Date: November 12, 2008 12:07 p.m.
To: [email protected]
Subject: RE: I’m sorry
I’ll write back everything else later, but I wanted to write you back about your fake boyfriend first.
I’m not pissed you did it. I get it. I thought something was up with how vague you were being talking about him. Most girls always bring up their boyfriend unless they’re… trying to get with someone else on the side. It’s no big deal if that’s the only thing you haven’t been honest about, but I’d be surprised if there was something else. You don’t seem like that kind of person.
But that is the only thing you’ve lied to me about, yeah?
I saw there had been a hurricane heading toward Texas a few days ago. You make it through all right?
-Aaron
From: [email protected]
Date: November 12, 2008 4:05 a.m.
To: [email protected]
Subject: So Sorry
Aaron,
I cross my heart that’s all I’ve lied to you about. I just couldn’t keep going with it.
I’m sorry. I’ve been making myself sick worrying about lying to you.
-Ruby
P.S. The worst of the hurricane didn’t hit us. We only got a little rain. The hurricane last year was the one that was a pain. That’s nice of you to ask.
From: [email protected]
Date: November 14, 2008 1:32 p.m.
To: [email protected]
Subject: RE: So Sorry
Ruby,
It’s all good. I get it. It isn’t like you told me anything else except you having a boyfriend and not living with him. :]
-Aaron
From: [email protected]
Date: November 14, 2008 2:05 a.m.
To: [email protected]
Subject: I’m Sorry Part 2
Aaron,
I thought of something else I didn’t tell you about. I still live with my mom and #4. That’s it. Everyone knows I do, it isn’t like I try to hide it, but I feel like a fraud not actually telling you that. Looking back on it, I never made it seem like I lived anywhere else but….
-Ruby
From: [email protected]
Date: November 16, 2008 1:37 p.m.
To: [email protected]
Subject: RE: I’m Sorry Part 2
Ruby,
That’s not you lying. What’s wrong with living with your parents?
-Aaron
From: [email protected]
Date: November 17, 2008 1:02 a.m.
To: [email protected]
Subject: So Sorry
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it, but I know people who have told me it’s been time to move out since I was eighteen. But the rent is cheap (I pay the electricity and water bill), and I have my own room and another room I can work in. Plus, my mom still cooks dinner most nights. She doesn’t care I still live at home. I think she prefers it. I promise that’s all I haven’t been upfront about.
-Ruby
From:
[email protected]
Date: November 19, 2008 2:42 p.m.
To: [email protected]
Subject: RE: I’m sorry
Ruby,
Time for you to move out? Why? I’d still live at home if it wouldn’t drive me crazy. Don’t listen to anybody else if you’re happy and like living there.
-Aaron
From: [email protected]
Date: November 20, 2008 3:05 a.m.
To: [email protected]
Subject: So Sorry
You’re right. My older brothers and my sister had all moved out by the time they were 18. My oldest brother and sister went to college in Austin, and Jonathan joined the marines. I decided to go to school here in Houston, so I never left. They’re all successful, and I know I shouldn’t compare myself to them, but I do, even knowing it’s dumb to do that. They all tell me I’d be an idiot to move out. I’m happy. For the most part. Usually. I don’t want it to seem like I’m complaining.
Dear Aaron Page 5