“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to criticize your family—”
“That’s not it,” he said almost cryptically, still standing there, watching me with that careful expression on his face. His Adam’s apple bobbed, and in three long strides he was standing in front of me, the hand not holding what he’d called our bait bucket, was cupping my cheek. As he pretty much towered over me, with his head tilted down, I could feel the hint of Aaron’s breath on my chin, just a little puff. Almost nonexistent like he was holding his breath.
Then his thumb moved, just a small swipe that might have only covered an inch of my cheekbone.
What was happening?
Something almost cool brushed across one small spot on my forehead the second before what was obviously his thumb made another tiny path over my skin.
Aaron had kissed me on the forehead.
I was naïve but not that naïve, and it confused the heck out of me.
But as quickly as he’d come to stand in front of me, he took a step back. His words were that soft, commanding thing he’d given me in the past. “All right, enough talking. Let me teach you what to do.”
“Then he made me throw it back in,” I told them all with a sideways glance to Aaron, who was sitting beside me at the restaurant we were at.
He smiled, and beneath the table, the side of his shoe bumped into mine. “I told you we were releasing them.”
“Yeah, but those had all been tiny. We were out there for what? Six hours before I caught the big one?” I’d gotten fried out in the surf with him and had the sunburn on my neck to prove it. It had taken about an hour for him to teach me how to use the spin casting rig, and even then, my technique had been pretty iffy. But we’d wandered out into the water and cast line after line out for hours, whispering jokes to one another as we tried to stand as still as possible, failing at being quiet at least five times when I’d feel something brush my leg and I’d shout.
Aaron had only made about four shark jokes the entire time we’d been out there.
I hadn’t touched the first two fish I’d caught that had been too small, but by the third one, Aaron had made me poke it. When he’d caught one, he made me hold it for a second and I might have wailed. By the time I caught one so big I’d figured he would prepare it and make for dinner… I’d held it in my hands—wiggling, thrashing—at least until he’d unhooked it and then tossed it back into the water to live another day.
Honestly, I wasn’t sure if I’d ever be able to eat fish again after holding a live one in my hands, but the day had been a lot more fun than I ever could have imagined. Fishing. Me. Who would have thought?
A gentle hand came up to cup the back of my neck then, conscious of the swollen pink skin that had taken a beating under the sun’s rays, and I could sense Aaron leaning closer to me as he said, loud enough for everyone at the table in the pub to hear, “I’m really proud of you.”
I did know he was proud of me. He’d kissed my forehead once more after I’d caught the fish and told me those same exact words, and when I’d gone to hug him for the first time since the day he’d picked me up at the airport, he’d hugged me back. Squeezed me. Needy, needy, needy. All warm and solid and affectionate and perfect.
“We were going to meet up with you, but someone suddenly started feeling bad,” Des chipped in with a smirk.
Brittany rolled her eyes from her spot across the table from me. “My stomach was hurting. It’s not like there’s a bathroom out there for me to use. What was I supposed to do? Go in the water?”
Des shrugged and had her mumbling “nasty.”
“You did great for it being your first time,” Aaron repeated.
It was sad how much I ate up his attention and praise, like I’d never gotten it before.
“Need more time to decide?” came a voice from my left that had already become familiar to me. It was the waitress. The very attractive waitress. One of the handfuls of women I’d already spotted eyeballing the heck out of Aaron.
It had taken all of two minutes after we’d gotten out of his truck for the looks to begin. I wasn’t sure if I’d just been too overwhelmed the first day to notice all the attention Aaron got or if I was just that oblivious, but the truth was: there was no ignoring it now. The teenage hostess at the restaurant had taken one look at Aaron and Max and turned redder than I ever had. She’d stuttered her way through a greeting before leading us to a table, only turning around every two steps to look at both of them.
And then the waitress had appeared.
“You’re back!” the woman had basically shouted before we’d gotten to the table.
Everyone except Mindy and me apparently knew who she was because they had immediately greeted her. From the bits and pieces I picked up as the four of them greeted her, they knew her from the last trip they’d taken to Port St. Joe. All I could gather was that they had gone out drinking together, or something like that. It wouldn’t have meant anything.
Until she’d turned to Aaron and Max with a smile on her face and asked, just asked, “You both still have girls?”
Like that. Just like that.
To give him credit, it was Max that answered with a “Not anymore” that had me looking away and, at the same time, reminding myself that it was true. At least Aaron was single now. And if he’d been here before he’d shipped out, he hadn’t been back then. He was now.
The woman had taken everyone’s drink order in between playful touches of shoulders and more than one wink I hadn’t been sure who it had been aimed at, but while she’d been gone, Aaron had jumped into our fishing story, distracting me with the way he told it, sounding so pleased. But the waitress was back, and I didn’t like the way my stomach felt in reaction to her presence.
“What do you recommend on the menu?” Max asked, still holding the menu in his hands.
The friendly, pretty waitress didn’t even think about her answer as she stood at the foot of the table, directly between Aaron and Max. It wasn’t that I didn’t like her because she was so attractive; no one held a flame to the women in my family. Also, I wasn’t that kind of person. Mostly, the ache in my intestines came from the blatant attention she was showing Max and Aaron. Realistically, I knew I couldn’t blame her. I did. They were both too good-looking for their own good.
But… she’d touched Aaron’s shoulder twice since we’d sat down. I’d counted.
“The chicken and waffles is one of our bestsellers,” the woman answered Max’s question, her eyes settling on Aaron for a moment as her flirting smile turned into a coy one highlighted by her bubble gum pink lipstick.
Friends don’t get jealous when other friends get hit on, I reminded myself.
“Lots of folks like the frog legs, too,” she added.
Frog legs?
“Frog legs?” I heard Mindy echo beneath her breath from her spot beside me, sounding just as horrified as I felt.
“It’s a local favorite,” the waitress threw in, like that would make it sound more appetizing, with a bright smile aimed at the younger girl.
“I’ll take the chicken and waffles,” Des basically muttered with Brittany echoing that order, followed by me. Mindy and Aaron chose something with a sandwich.
“I’ll take an order of frog legs,” Max piped up, grinning.
“Oh, gross, Max,” Mindy muttered.
“What?” He shrugged as he handed over the menu to the waitress with a wink before she backed away.
“That’s disgusting.”
“I’m sure it’ll taste like chicken. Everything tastes like chicken.”
Even Brittany shook her head with an “Ugh.”
Max’s eyes met mine and I smiled at him shyly. “Everything does taste like chicken. I had gator once, tastes just like it.”
Mindy turned in her chair to look at me. “You’ve had alligator?”
I nodded. “I had sheep’s head once.”
“You what?”
“In Iceland. Our tour guide didn’t tell me what it was and I tr
ied it. I’d never eat it again, but it wasn’t the worst thing I’d ever had,” I explained.
Mindy was looking at me with a horrified expression on her face, her fingers picking at the napkin she had rolled up. “What was the worst?” she asked hesitantly, like she didn’t really want to know the answer but couldn’t help herself.
Fidgeting with my hands on my lap, I smiled and looked over at Aaron who was watching me. “I’ve had cow tongue a few times. That was good actually—”
“Cow tongue?” that was Brittany.
“Yeah. They sell it all over the place in Houston. I’ve had dinuguan—”
“What’s that?” Max asked.
I scrunched up my nose, remembering eating that way too clearly. “It’s a Filipino dish that my dad made me try. Its pig intestines, kidneys, lungs, heart, and the snout cooked in its blood—”
At least four of them said a variation of “eww” that made me grin.
“I know. My dad claimed it was dessert, like pudding. He loves it. I can’t eat pudding anymore because of that, no matter what color it is.”
“I’m not going to be able to eat pudding anymore after that….” Mindy trailed off.
“That’s not the worst,” I started to say before I shut my mouth. “Never mind. I’m just going to stop now. I don’t want to ruin anyone’s food.”
“There’s something more gross than that?” Brittany asked.
I lifted my shoulders, not wanting to say more.
“Now you need to tell us,” she insisted.
“We can handle it,” Max kept going.
“No, seriously, you don’t want me to tell you,” I tried to explain.
“Come on, Rubes,” Aaron chimed in, making me glance at him.
“I’ll just close my ears,” Mindy offered. “I don’t want to know.”
I watched them and asked, slowly, “Are you sure?”
Four nods around the table confirmed they were sure. Even Mindy raised her hands to the side of her head, middle fingers already going to her ears to plug them in.
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you, okay?” I reminded them. They all looked so confident… it almost made me laugh. “I’ve never tried it, but my dad has a bunch of times—”
“What is it?” Max asked.
“It’s called balut. I’ve watched him eat it and I didn’t gag, and I’m pretty proud of myself for it—”
“What is it?”
“Jesus, Max, give her a second,” Aaron chimed in, his big hands resting on the table.
I squeezed my fingers between my thighs and just got it over with. “It’s a duck embryo in its shell.”
Four sets of eyeballs blinked. But it was Des that slowly asked, “Excuse me?”
“It’s a—”
“No, no, I heard you.” He cut me off, still taking his time with his words. He blinked, lowered his voice, and squinted his eyes. “How?”
“How what?”
“How do you…?” he stammered.
I knew what he was trying to ask and I cringed, regretting bringing this up. “The baby duck is boiled… alive.”
Four different people made dry-heaving and gagging sounds.
“And they eat that?” I’m pretty positive that was Brittany.
I nodded.
“I’m sweating thinking about it,” Brittany definitely whispered, visibly letting out a shudder.
“I know, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything,” I apologized.
Des’s face was definitely a little green. “You’ve eaten it?”
“She said she hasn’t,” Aaron said. “Your dad did, right?”
I nodded. “Nothing grosses him out food wise. I try to be as brave as he is, but I can’t.”
“Has one of your brothers or sisters tried it?” my friend asked.
That had me laughing out loud. “No way. That’s the only thing they aren’t willing to take risks with.” And trying new food was one of the only things I wasn’t too afraid to try.
“I’m never going to look at a duck the same way again…,” Des mumbled.
“Can I take my fingers off my ears now?” Mindy asked a little too loudly, her eyes sweeping around the table.
I smiled and nodded.
The younger girl looked around the circle and frowned as she lowered her hands. “I’m going to guess I should be happy I missed that conversation. You guys look like you’re going to be sick.”
Max made a coughing sound, turning in his chair. “Is it too late to change my order?”
It wasn’t.
We must have all been thinking about ducks and/or pretty waitresses that came by every few minutes to check on us more than any other table, because no one really spoke much after our food was dropped off. We ate silently, and every once in a while, I’d meet Aaron’s gaze as I chewed.
“I want to go check out some of the shops around here before they close. Text me when you’re ready to go,” Mindy said, pushing her chair back. “Anyone want to come?”
When no one immediately said anything, it made me feel bad, so I pointed at the food I still had left on my plate. “I’m going to finish eating, but I’ll go look for you when I’m done.”
She gave me a little smile and flicked her brother on the ear on her way out of the restaurant, apparently assuming he’d pay for her meal. That made me miss my own brothers and sisters.
“I’m going to get a beer. Any of you want anything?” Aaron asked a moment later, standing up. His hand squeezed my shoulder. “Ruby?”
“I’m fine,” I told him, perfectly okay with my glass of water.
He gave me a faint smile just as Max said, “Get me a beer. You know what I like.”
“Get me one too,” Des piped in.
Aaron snickered, releasing the hold on my shoulder. “I’m not buying either of you shit, come with me or give me cash.”
“So you can forget to give me my change? Nah,” came Max’s response as he pushed away from the table too. Des groaned but got up too, following his friends to the bar. I only watched him for a second before looking back down at my plate.
Brittany made a noise, her elbows on the table, as the three men walked away. “You know, I was at a friend’s house once, and her parents are Filipino. They had this crispy pork thing out that I thought was amazing—”
“Crispy pata?” I asked, grinning.
She nodded, dipping a french fry into a giant pile of ketchup she’d squirted on her plate. “I was eating the shit out of it until her mom told me it was knuckles. If I would’ve been anywhere else, I would’ve thrown up.”
“It is good, but yeah, it is a little gross when you think about it.”
She tipped her head to the side and looked at me. “You can’t really tell you’re Filipino, except for the shape of your eyes.” She blinked. “That sounds really racist. I’m sorry. Mindy’s been rubbing off on me this week.”
I snorted. “I get it. My mom has really red hair and she’s super pale. I got a weird mix of both of them. No one can ever tell what I am.”
“No shit?”
“It’s true. One of my sisters has red hair and the other one has black hair like our dad,” I told her, casually glancing at the bar where Max, Aaron, and Des had just headed.
My eyes froze there for a moment.
Leaning forward across the counter of the bar was the waitress, and she was smiling and laughing, talking to the three of them who were all smiling and laughing at her too.
Was that indigestion or…
No. That wasn’t indigestion making my upper chest feel tacky. It was me being jealous like crazy in the blink of an eye.
I had no right to be jealous. No right at all. Zero. Zilch. She was pretty and outgoing. She could do whatever she wanted.
Stop freaking looking, Ruby. You wouldn’t be looking if it was anyone else. Which was the truth.
I glanced back at Brittany, hoping she hadn’t noticed where my attention had been, even as everything north of my chest went hot. “Where
’s your family from?” I got out, trying to distract her.
She lifted a shoulder. “My dad’s from Ethiopia. My mom’s Creole. They’ve been in Louisiana forever,” she explained.
“Was Des the one who moved to Shreveport in elementary school or was that Max?” I asked at the same time a cute laugh from the direction of the bar reached my ears. I tried, I tried my hardest not to look at the bar again.
I failed.
I peeked, just out of the corner of my eye.
Aaron was still laughing at something the waitress was saying. That handsome face had a pleasant, easy expression on it, his body language was forward… and he wasn’t looking at her the way he looked at me. Affectionately. Or like a puppy. He was just… looking.
I’m not sure why that made me want to throw up, but it did. Realistically, I should have been happy he didn’t give everyone the faces he gave me. And it wasn’t like he was taking her in like he was interested either. I’d witnessed that face enough in person to recognize it for what it was.
He was just looking at her. And it still felt like a knife blade into my belly. Because I knew what it meant, what it reminded me of.
One day, regardless of what he said about relationships and marriage, he was going to have another girlfriend. It could be a month from now, it could be a year from now, but it was going to happen.
And there was nothing I could do about it.
He wasn’t my boyfriend or my lover, and I needed to be grateful I even had that much, I told myself as I squeezed my hands into fists beneath the table. He was my friend who cared about me. He was a man who didn’t want to get married. He was a man who only wanted to share part of himself with me. I had no business looking or caring. None.
And yet….
“Des is the one who’s known him his whole life. Max moved to Shreveport when they were in high school,” Brittany explained, her words helping me focus on her and not anyone or anything else.
I nodded, swallowing down a ball of what I wasn’t going to consider being agony. “That’s cool.”
Brittany nodded, her own eyes flicking in the direction where mine really, really wanted to go to again. But I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t. The cute, high-chiming laugh belonging to the waitress seemed to carry across the freaking restaurant one more time, and it was so cute and sweet it made me feel like mine sounded like a donkey, loud and abrasive, uncultured and just… me. Awkward. This was why I didn’t compare myself to other people.
Dear Aaron Page 30