by Lea Coll
My gaze was on the couch between us. I wanted to touch him while I talked even though I didn’t have that right. Not yet. I needed to get this out. He needed to hear it, to carefully consider each word even as my heart longed to be in his arms.
“What about your parents? What did they think?”
I laughed without any humor. “My mom thought it was a great opportunity. The producers sold it as an acting job. She left it up to me. I was sixteen. Of course, I wanted to be on TV. The whole school was buzzing about it. We were the lucky ones. When the contracts were offered, I wasn’t sure about my role other than I was chosen because I was friends with Lillian. She was beautiful and blonde, nice to everyone. She was popular. People gravitated toward her.”
“Why do I feel like you’re building up to something I’m not going to like?”
I continued, not acknowledging his words. “I wasn’t as outgoing as she was. As soon as I signed, the producers wanted me to dye my hair blonde like Lillian’s. It became clear, pretty quickly, they were pitting us against each other. I was supposed to act like I wanted her boyfriend, that I’d do anything to get him.”
“The show wasn’t supposed to be real. Sometimes it felt that way. Our friendship couldn’t survive.”
“That kiss between you and Chad…”
“The producers set everything up. I hated betraying my friend. I justified it because it wasn’t supposed to be real.”
“Lillian didn’t feel the same way?”
“No, she didn’t. I don’t blame her. Any time we questioned what the producers wanted us to do, they’d remind us of the money and ratings, showing us the comments and emails about what the fans wanted. The fans loved the drama, the push and pull, and how Chad was so passive about it.”
I shook my head. “When I went to my parents, they reminded me I’d made a commitment, they’d signed a contract.”
“You were sixteen.” Gray’s voice was disbelieving.
I shook my head, not wanting him to absolve me of responsibility. “When they pitched the spin-off, I was an adult. I could have said no.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“The money, the lifestyle was all I knew. I didn’t know how to be me without it. My castmates wanted me to keep it going. Without Lillian and me, there wouldn’t be a show. I felt obligated. I figured if people wanted to watch me go to cosmetology school, I’d get paid to do it. By then, the love triangle story was dropped because Chad stayed home. He didn’t go to school. Looking back, he was smart. He got out. When I graduated, I got my first salon job. That’s when I realized the show’s reach. People came into the salon calling me names.”
His jaw tightened. “I’ve seen the comments.”
My gaze flew to his, shame filling me. “Then you know.”
“I can only imagine how it felt being on the receiving end. Something similar happened after my father was arrested. It wasn’t as overt as calling me names to my face. It was more whispers when I walked into a store. Rumors that I was somehow involved.”
I closed my eyes against the memories. “It was awful. I hated it. I constantly had this sick feeling in my stomach. I wanted to take the money to open a salon, then I thought a barbershop would be a better idea. Men wouldn’t have watched the show. Wouldn’t know who I was or what I’d done. If they did, they probably wouldn’t care.”
I took a deep breath before continuing, “What I told you the day we met was the truth. This place stuck with me after I visited. I loved it here. I wanted to go somewhere familiar, where no one would know what I did or who I was. I dyed my hair back to its natural color and shortened my name.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
I sensed this was the most important question I could answer for him. “I wanted to be someone different. I didn’t want to be Giselle, the villain. I wanted to be who I was supposed to be even if I had no idea who that was. My personality was hijacked at sixteen. I was forced to act a certain way. I came here to find myself. Then I realized I am Elle, the barbershop owner, the person who cares about other people, who thinks about their feelings before I act.”
He clenched his jaw. “Did you think about me when you omitted your past?”
I hated hurting him. “I did. I planned on telling you the night you told me about your past. You felt so betrayed by your father. He turned out to be someone you didn’t know. I realized I was doing the same thing. You’d never forgive me when you found out.”
Tears filled my eyes, spilling down my cheeks. I didn’t bother wiping them away. Nothing mattered unless he accepted my reasoning.
“After I told you about my past, what was holding you back from telling me?”
My heart was beating loudly in my chest, a slow steady rhythm telling me my words changed everything, yet nothing. “I wanted to tell you, but not when you were so raw. I wanted to tell you later, but I was ashamed by my past, sure you’d want nothing to do with me when you found out. I wanted to revel in us for a little longer, sink into the goodness that’s you and me together. I knew I didn’t deserve you. That I was living on borrowed time. Unfortunately, there never seemed to be a good time. Then Alice showed up.”
“You thought I wouldn’t want to be with you if you told me the truth?”
“I don’t blame you for walking away at the bar. Some mistakes you can’t rectify.”
He was quiet for a few seconds possibly considering what he wanted to say. “I can’t imagine what you went through. I can’t judge you for decisions you made at sixteen when the adults surrounding you didn’t have your best interest at heart. The producers manipulated you. Your parents were absent. They should have seen how the producers treated you, what it cost you. They should have protected you.”
I opened my mouth to protest, but he held his hand to stop me. “I hadn’t told you about my past when we’d met. I was guilty of the same thing. I can’t hold you to a higher standard than I do myself. I understand why you’d want to be judged by who you are now, instead of then.”
“What does this mean for us?”
He cupped my cheek, tilting my face up. “I love you. Nothing you’ve told me changes how I feel.”
I let out a drawn-out sigh, unsure it was that easy. “I love you too. Is it that easy?”
My heart hung on to his words, hoping he meant what he said. He loved me. He wasn’t walking away. He’d stay.
“I haven’t been in a relationship since high school, but I know how I feel. I want to be with you. I want to start a life with you here. If that’s what you want?” He wiped away my tears as they continue to fall.
I reached out a hand to touch his face, shocked he was here, saying what he was. “It’s exactly what I want.”
He kissed me softly. I expected to feel like I didn’t deserve him. Instead, this felt right. He deepened the kiss, his hands cupping my head, angling me so he could delve deeper.
Gray made me a better person. Maybe I did the same for him. Together, we were better.
I pulled back, looking up at him, tears heavy on my eyelashes. “I love you, Gray.”
“I love you.” His voice was rough with emotion.
He pulled off my clothes then his as if he wanted nothing between us, not our pasts, our indiscretions, mistakes, or our regret. Hovering above me, his cock gliding through my folds, I knew I’d never get enough of him.
With a smooth roll of his hips, he slid inside, the moment more perfect than anything I’d ever experienced. Our ugly truths laid bare between us, love shining from our pores.
He thrust, long and slow, savoring each push, each pull, each slide bringing us impossibly closer until our skin was slick with sweat; my moans poured from my lips unchecked, uninhibited.
We came together, his forehead resting on mine, our breaths mingling.
We’d never forget our pasts. They made us who we were together. Strong, determined, caring, and loving. Nothing could come between us―not Alice, his dad, or our families.
Gray settled next to me on the couch, sliding an
arm under my head, cradling me to him. “You have me now, Elle. I’ll always love you, look out for you, care for you. You won’t be alone again.”
I stroked his face. “I’ll be the same for you.”
Epilogue
Elle
“Happy Holidays,” I said, handing out hot cocoa to one of the townspeople enjoying the hot cocoa crawl.
I’d pitched the hot cocoa and cookie crawl idea to the town coordinator. She’d loved that it would draw attention to the shops before the holidays. I made up a gift bag to hand out that included coupons and flyers about upcoming events going on at Smoke & Mirrors.
“I’ll take over for a bit. Why don’t you take a break?” Piper sat next to me at the counter.
“Thanks.” I smiled at her gratefully.
Gray and Henry sat on the leather chairs in the waiting area, hot cocoa in their hands, a tray of cookies on the coffee table.
I placed my hands on my hips. “Did you leave any cookies for the guests?”
“There’s plenty.” Gray popped another cookie into his mouth.
“I’ll go help Piper at the front.” Henry stood, joining Piper.
Gray tugged me onto his lap. “I’m so proud of you.”
I looped my arms around his neck. “I hope more locals will give the shop a chance.”
“These events draw people in; the shop looks amazing; you’re bound to get more clients.” I’d been staying afloat with the tourists but wanted the locals to embrace me too. I knew it would take time.
Piper and I had gone all out with the holiday decorations: elaborate window displays, twinkling lights around the mirrors, and a tree. Gray was great at grounding me, reminding me what was important. “Thanks for being here.”
He smiled softly. “I wouldn’t miss it.”
There was an ease to us that wasn’t there before. We’d bared our souls to each other; there were no more secrets from our past threatening our future. When his father was denied parole, Gray was relieved he didn’t need to worry about his father dropping back into his life just yet. It was him and me, our dreams, and our friends. We’d made a family here in Telluride.
“Do you think we can sneak out of here a little early?”
I glanced at the clock. There were only ten minutes left. I wasn’t usually open this late on Friday evenings. “I don’t see why not.”
Gray’s expression was a mix of excitement and nerves. “I have a surprise for you.”
My heart rate picked up, wondering if he was giving me my Christmas present early. “I can’t wait to see it.” Our lips met, soft and light.
Pulling back slightly so our foreheads met, I said, “Let me make sure Piper is okay with closing up.”
My hand was in Gray’s as he drove away from town. Love for him and anticipation for what he wanted to show me, invaded every part of my body.
Gray glanced over at me. “Are you excited?”
“I love surprises.”
Gray shot me a smile before turning his attention to the road. Homes were already decorated for Christmas.
It was the first year I could remember I felt free to enjoy the season the way I wanted to. I didn’t have any parties or events I had to attend. I wanted to immerse myself in everything Christmas: the decorations, the baking, the feeling of closeness with my new friends, and the joy of owning a new business.
Gray turned down a gravel lane lined with trees, the base of each wrapped in twinkling white lights. I gasped. “It’s so beautiful.”
Gray squeezed my hand. The warmth of his hands and his steady strength and support never failed to anchor me in our relationship.
After passing the last tree, the house came into view. Greenery was wrapped in lights around the porch railing, a fully decorated tree stood on the porch, a candle lit each window. “Who lives here? What are we doing here?”
My first thought was he was taking me to a party, but the windows were dark.
“I wanted you to see the lights.”
I unbuckled my belt, eager to see more. “Is it okay if we’re here? We’re not trespassing, are we?”
“No. I okayed it with the owner.”
My eyes caught on a tire swing that hung from a large tree to our right. Did a family live here?
“I want to show you something.” I waited while he walked around the truck to help me out.
When he held out his hand, I stepped down. I closed my eyes, inhaling his familiar, comforting scent.
When he turned, I saw the barn for the first time. “Even the barn is decorated.”
A large wreath was centered above the doors, and the roof was lined with lights.
Gray tugged me toward the porch of the house, up the steps, pausing at the door.
Was he taking me inside? Did he know who lived here? I covered my pounding heart with my free hand. “Gray—”
He dropped to one knee in front of me, my hand held in his. He looked up at me, his eyes shining with love, hope, and happiness.
I pressed my hand harder over my heart. He was going to propose.
“Elle Carmichael, the day we met, you drew me in without even trying. I noticed your natural beauty; how down to earth you seemed. Each time we met, your concern for other people and animals impressed me. You saw something inside of me. Your love pushed me to be a better person. You made me see that life was more than work, and my future was more than my past.”
My heart clenched inside my chest. The moment was surreal―the crisp air, the lights reflecting in his eyes. I wanted to take a picture of this moment, him looking up at me, telling me everything in his heart so I could remember it forever.
“I love you, Elle, more than anything―more than fear, more than doubt. Marry me. Make a life with me here in this house. We’ll fill this home with love and the barn with animals. We’ll be there for our kids, making sure they know they’re loved.”
His vision was so clear. I could see us living here, dogs, kids, friends, and family. I fell to my knees in front of him, cradling his face in my hands. “Of course, I’ll marry you.”
I kissed him, returning every sentiment he’d said into the kiss until my cheeks were wet, and my hands were shaking. Pulling back from him slightly, I caressed his face. “You own this house?”
He smiled, the expression of a man who had everything he wanted. “I do.”
I raised a brow. “I thought you didn’t find any houses you liked?”
“I saw this house the day Alice visited. I knew it was perfect then. I wanted to buy it even though I wasn’t sure if I’d screwed everything up with you that day. When we got back together, I wanted it to be a surprise.” He tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear. “I wanted to ask you to move in with me, but it wasn’t enough. I wanted you by my side in every way that mattered. I wanted to build a life with you. I wanted everything I thought I’d never have.”
“I want that too.” I was in awe of him and the beauty of this moment.
The Gray that had run from anything permanent was now running toward me, holding on tight with both hands. I never wanted him to let me go. I thought it was our pasts that made us infamous when it was our love that was unforgettable.
Bonus Epilogue
I hope you loved Gray and Elle’s story! If you’d like to read more about their happily ever after, download the bonus epilogue.
https://dl.bookfunnel.com/157jj9u4mi
Mountain Haven Series
Coming October, 2021
Adventurous Love, the second book in the Mountain Haven Series
I’m a city girl at heart but when a dear friend invited me to stand up in her wedding, I decided to embrace all Colorado had to offer. I was not expecting Henry Rigby—the ruggedly handsome best man—a lumbar jack fantasy come to life. Flirting with him was more dangerous than any wilderness adventure I'd imagined.
For more information about Lea Coll’s Mountain Haven Series, click here:
https://www.ladybosspress.com/infamous-love
Acknowledgments
To Kristen Proby, whose advice has been invaluable. I wouldn’t have created this amazing new world in Telluride without your inspiration.
To the readers and bloggers who’ve read and reviewed my books—I appreciate it more than you’ll ever know. There’s nothing better than connecting with readers. To know that something I wrote resonated with you. I read to be in another world for a few hours and I hope that you enjoy spending time in the world I created.
About the Author
Lea Coll worked as a trial attorney for over ten years. Now she stays home with her three children, plotting stories while fetching snacks and running them back and forth to activities. She enjoys the freedom of writing romance after years of legal writing.
She currently resides in Maryland with her family.
To learn more about her books, please visit Lea’s website. (https://www.leacoll.com/books)
Books by Lea Coll
Mountain Haven Series
Infamous Love
Adventurous Love (coming soon)
All I Want Series
Choose Me
Be with Me
Burn for Me
Trust in Me
Stay with Me
Take a Chance on Me
Annapolis Harbor Series
Hooked on You (previously titled Easy Moves)
Only with You
Lost without You
Perfect for You
Crazy for You
Falling for You
Quick Snap Novellas
Lucky Catch
Trick Play
Download two free novellas, Swept Away and Worth the Risk, when you sign up for her newsletter. (https://landing.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/v5z3m1)