by Tricia Goyer
“So, how did it go?” Mem moved to the kitchen table and sat. Her stationery box was there, and it looked as if she’d been working on a letter.
Lovina guessed that Mem was writing to Regina. How many conversations had Lovina overheard between the two women growing up? Over cups of coffee, they’d chatted about all their concerns for their community and the people. They always seemed to know what was going on and they had an opinion on all of it.
Lovina had no doubt that letters had been flying back and forth about what she was up to. Had Regina been the one prodding Mem about a romantic interest for Lovina? Or did Mem come up with the idea that Thomas Chupp would make a good husband on her own?
Lovina darted her eyes away from Mem’s expectant gaze, and then she hurried toward the refrigerator, pouring herself a glass of lemonade.
“How was it?” Mem asked again. She scooted up the chair, causing the chair legs to scrape on the ground.
“Well, when I last checked in Noah and his crew were working in the bathroom. They were replacing the toilet and everything else in the bathroom. I can’t wait to see what it’s going to look like when they finish. It’ll be like a whole new bathroom!”
“That’s nice, Lovina. Bathrooms are important…but I was wondering about your lunch with Thomas.”
Lovina knew she wasn’t going to escape her mother’s questions. If she didn’t answer them now she’d have to later. She picked up her glass and carried it to the table, sitting across from her mother.
“Well, the truth is that the food was good, but the conversation was barely adequate. I mean, Thomas is nice enough…for a friend.”
Mem’s face fell, and her smile was replaced by a frown.
“It’s clear he misses Somerset. He’s very proud of his farm and his life there. I’m thankful that I’m not attracted to him, since I’m setting up roots here…building a business and all.”
“It’s not as if the business is up and running.” Mem straightened her shoulders. “Like Thomas said this morning, with the work you’ve already done on the building you could put it on the market and make a nice profit.”
Lovina took another sip of lemonade and set her glass down. Instead of anger, she felt pity for her mother—having so many expectations. She felt sad that she’d never been the daughter Mem wanted. She also felt a bit of relief too. Relief that they were having this conversation.
“Mem, I appreciate that you have such high regard for the changes in the building, but my goal has never been to make money. The pie shop—it’s something I’ve wanted to do for so long. And I’m thankful the opportunity has arisen. Thankful for Dat’s help, and for Noah—”
“Noah Yoder,” Mem interrupted, “may be a gut carpenter, but I sure hope you don’t let your heart get wrapped up in him. He’s the last person you should consider as a future husband.”
“The last person?” Lovina sputtered. “Really, is that what you believe?”
Mem picked up the pencil from the table and began tapping the eraser on the tabletop. “You have put so much trust in him, but you never even looked into his past. Did you ever call for references? Did you ever ask how Noah knows so much about construction? Or why? Do you know why he ran away from Illinois? Or what he’s running from?”
“Ran away?” Lovina cocked an eyebrow.
“Ja, that’s what you do when you’re not respected by your community. What you do when your bad reputation follows you wherever you go. You leave. You find a new community.” Mem stopped the tapping and placed the pencil on the table, smoothing out the letter in front of her. “Well, that would work for most people, except those in the Amish community. The Englischers think they are so connected, being on their computers all the time, but we have our ways of protecting each other. In addition to The Budget I’ve heard about Noah Yoder from all sorts of folks. He may have fooled you, Lovina, but there are some people he can’t fool. More than that, I can see the way you look at him. I would have to question if the reason you hurry out of here each morning is to go work at the pie shop…or to see him.”
Lovina’s jaw dropped. She couldn’t believe the words she’d just heard come out of Mem’s mouth. Her heart pounded in her chest, and she tried to calm herself. She focused on her words, on her attitude, determined to keep herself in check. Determined not to let her own tongue run away from her.
“Mem, I know that Noah left behind his community. I’m sure he’ll tell me all his reasons when he’s ready.” She spoke as calmly as she could. “And just because I have friendly feelings for him doesn’t mean I’m going to marry him. I have one thing on my mind, and that’s opening my pie shop. I’m just thankful God chose to send someone like Noah to help me.” Lovina stood. “Without him I’d be unable to open it.” She picked up her glass of lemonade and her notebook. “And if you’ll excuse me, I have work to do. There are business plans I need to make. On our time-frame I can’t waste even a few hours trying to dig up someone’s past, especially someone whom I so greatly respect.”
She hurried to her room and shut the door. Leaning against the cool wood, Lovina’s knees trembled. And for a moment she didn’t know what made her more upset. Was it Mem’s comments about Noah or the way Noah had treated her this afternoon, ignoring her? Or that deep down she knew both of Mem’s statements were true—that Noah had run away from something, and that Lovina did look forward to seeing him as much as she enjoyed working on the shop, maybe more.
Lord, am I making a mistake letting my heart get wrapped up in him? You’ve given me a mission—a dream to fulfill—with this pie shop. Am I letting myself get distracted?
Lovina placed the glass of lemonade on her bedside table and sat on her bed. She had to admit that Noah was on her thoughts most of the day. She also could see from his gaze that he cared about her too. He didn’t try hard to hide it.
But was he the right person to be holding her heart? Mem was right. She didn’t know much about his past. She knew hardly anything about his family.
More than that, was this the right time to be letting her heart lead? She didn’t need anything—anything—to distract her from her pie shop. Dat had invested a lot in her. Mem knew this too.
Lord, help me know the truth. Help me to see…
Lovina thought of that tapping pencil. Mem was usually a happy person, but there were a few things that got her troubled. Money problems and the unmarried state of her daughters. And where Lovina was concerned, both of Mem’s greatest worries were on display before her.
Lovina felt emotion building in her throat as she considered things from Mem’s point of view. Dat had no doubt confessed to her that all his money was wrapped up in that old warehouse.
And with Dat’s illness was Mem worried about the financial future for her and her daughters? Lovina guessed she was.
More than that, Lovina was twenty-five years old and had never had a serious relationship. Mem was never one to carry a grudge for long or to look unfavorably upon her neighbors. For her to know so much about Noah Yoder from the moment he’d moved to Pinecraft, there must be some merit to her worries. Even before Lovina started working with him, Mem had encouraged Dat not to let him work on their roof—a simple project.
A chill traveled down Lovina’s spine, and the room seemed to dim around her. Mem hadn’t mentioned what Noah had done, but then again neither had he.
Why hadn’t Noah said anything about his past…unless he was trying to hide it?
The beginning of a headache pounded at Lovina’s temples. She wanted nothing more than to curl up on her bed and sleep. She suddenly felt tired and overwhelmed—so different from the way she’d felt this morning. How quickly things could change. The progress on the building continued, but inside she felt as if everything was falling apart.
Maybe Mem was right. Maybe she shouldn’t allow her feelings to be wrapped up in Noah Yoder.
From this day on, Mem would be watching her like a hawk. Because even worse than not getting married, in her mother’s opinion, was fo
r her to fall in love with someone like Noah Yoder.
Anna knew from Lovina’s face that things hadn’t gone well with Thomas. Lovina hadn’t met her eye when she’d come in the door. She’d hurried to her room instead, not even pausing to enjoy a slice of upside-down cinnamon pudding cake, one of her favorite desserts that wasn’t a pie.
Anna was alone in the kitchen, but from the feeling deep inside it seemed that the nearest kind smile was a thousand miles away. She supposed Lovina was upset that she’d pushed the issue about a date with Thomas, but didn’t her daughter realize that sometimes mothers do know best? It had been her own mother who’d urged her to go on a date with John. Where would she be if her mother hadn’t urged her? She wouldn’t have been married to such a wonderful man all these years. She wouldn’t have these girls or this cottage. Yet to whom could Anna explain this? No one except Regina.
Lovina wasn’t ready to listen. Not yet. John, well, he wouldn’t understand. So she sat down with her stationery once again.
Dear Regina,
How thankful I am for the Lord Jesus Christ who has blessed us with adequate health, good friends, and love that endures forever. I’m also thankful for gut friends, no matter the miles that separate us. Thank you so much for your letter.
Things have been busy, and I haven’t spent much time at the warehouse. The warehouse is the old building that Lovina is turning into a pie shop. Or at least that is the plan. I have to say that I was impressed today when I saw the improvements that have been made in such a short time. Still, there is so much to be done. So much. Lovina has help from an Amish crew. That’s all I’ll say about that for now.
What has kept me so busy as to not be involved in this endeavor? (I know this is the first thing that you’d ask.) First, I’ve been spending time with new friends. Many have been ill and it seems fresh-baked muffins or upside-down cinnamon pudding cake can brighten anyone’s day. I’ve also been working with Joy on some quilts for the Haiti auction. Joy works with diligence, and she’s found a dear friend in the elderly woman who owns the quilt shop, Elizabeth Beiler. Joy had always been close to her grandmother and perhaps this friendship is filling a hole that has been there since her passing.
You mentioned news about the pie shop in The Budget. I was surprised that the local scribe mentioned it already. In my opinion it’s like boasting about the harvest before it comes. Besides, what type of a business name is Me, Myself and Pie? If anything the pie shop needs a better name.
It seems to me that too much is being focused on that pie shop and too little on common sense. Today I saw Thomas Chupp, that nice young man I wrote to you about. He’s very interested in pursing Lovina, and she’s treating him as if he has the plague. Too much dreaming is happening in Love’s head. And there is an Amish bachelor from the work crew who has caught her fancy, I’m afraid.
From what I heard from Thomas’s Aunt Vera, Lovina made it very clear to Thomas that she thinks of him as nothing more than a friend. After all these years of praying for a husband for my oldest daughter she pushes him away just like that! I’m not sure I’m going to be able to sleep tonight. My mind’s too full of all the things Lovina should be worrying about but isn’t. Like the fact that she just threw away her chances with Thomas, and the state of our family’s finances if this endeavor does not succeed. I know that God can bring good out of anything. I just don’t know why there are some folks who make Him work so hard to do so! There, I finally said it.
I still wonder if I should just sit Lovina down and tell her what I know about Noah Yoder. He is the one helping Lovina with the pie shop. Do you remember what we heard about him and that horrible accident? Was it five years ago? I can’t imagine my daughter with that type of person. What do you think, Regina? Oh, I wish you were here to give me your advice.
Well, I suppose I do know one thing you would tell me. “Anna,” you would say, “instead of focusing so much on your worries, be thankful for your gifts.” So, yes, I will end my letter with that. John’s health continues to improve and, even though I hate to admit this, I believe it’s due in part to having something to dream about as much as it is the gentler climate. If anything, Lovina’s pie shop has given him that.
I hope the chocolate tasting went well. I guarantee the only chocolate we’ll be tasting around here is chocolate pie!
Sending all my love,
Anna
P.S. Oh, and other exciting news is that Yoder’s gift shop is carrying some of Faith’s sketches! The shop owner even worked to help Faith frame them. If you do come down we’ll have to stop by so I can show you the display. And if I were to guess Faith was the one who showed the most interest in Thomas Chupp. Yet once I saw Thomas’s attention turning to Lovina I tried to discourage Faith. Now I wonder if I made the wrong choice—pushed the wrong “friendship.” Oh, the challenges of being a mother with five unmarried daughters. You’d better eat another piece of chocolate for me!
Upside-Down Cinnamon Pudding Cake
2¼ cups brown sugar, packed
3 tablespoons butter
2½ cups cold water
2 cups flour
½ teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons baking powder
2½ teaspoons cinnamon
2 tablespoons butter
1 cup brown sugar
1¼ cups milk
Preheat oven to 350°. Combine 2¼ cups brown sugar, 3 tablespoons butter, and water. Bring to a boil. Set aside to cool. In a large bowl, sift flour, salt, baking powder, and cinnamon together. In a separate bowl, cream 2 tablespoons butter and 1 cup brown sugar. Add to dry ingredients, mix well, and add milk. Spread into greased 13×9-inch pan. Pour cooled brown sugar mixture over the unbaked batter. Optional: Sprinkle ½ cup chopped nuts over the unbaked batter. Bake 35-40 minutes. Serve warm with ice cream or whipped cream.
Twenty-One
The trouble with experience is that you never have it until after you need it.
AMISH PROVERB
Noah Yoder paced the swatch of concrete by the front door of the pie shop’s interior, waiting for Lovina to show up. She was usually at the shop by eight in the morning, but not today. He’d walked by the Miller house this morning, but her father, John, wasn’t sitting outside as he usually did. Normally Noah would have stopped to knock, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. A burden weighed on his heart. He’d been horrible to Lovina yesterday. Instead of confronting her about her lunch date with Thomas Chupp—and instead of fighting for her—he’d ignored her. His heart ached at the thought of it.
Noah paused and leaned against the front counter. He’d made it from an old bar, and Lovina had claimed it was perfect. But what good were all the things he did for her if he treated her with contempt? He’d been working hard out of his growing love for her, but had he let her know that? No, not in the slightest. He’d just expected her to guess his feelings for her. Noah ran a hand through his hair. What a fool he’d been. No wonder she’d accepted that lunch date with Thomas. Any girl would be drawn most to the one who made his intentions known.
He sat down on the phone bench that Lovina was going to use to display menus, and he leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees. He ran a hand through his hair, remembering what it was like to be ignored. It was worse than being confronted and accused. And suddenly then he was twenty years old again, with a battered body and a battered reputation.
The memories surprised him, surfacing before he could push them down. Those in his community started ignoring him around the time of his rumspringa. Not that he’d gotten a lot of attention before. In the Amish community most families had eight, ten, or twelve kids, so keeping track of them all wasn’t easy. But once Noah bought his own car and started wearing Englisch clothes, people went out of their way not to talk to him.
And after the accident, well, he understood a little of what it was like to be shunned. After that it was like he didn’t even exist. He knew then that not being acknowledged was an even worse punishment than being yelled at or accused.
At least when people accused you they acknowledged that you were there. And that was another reason he’d decided to take the young men to Pinecraft. Even if their misdeeds were known by the people here they wouldn’t be completely ostracized—not like back at home.
He blew out a breath. This past pain wasn’t worth thinking of now. Now he had to think of Lovina. Was it too much to hope that his foolishness hadn’t pushed her into another man’s arms? Instead of ignoring her, he needed to be pursuing her! And he was determined to start now.
Noah rose and looked to the large box he’d set just inside the doorway. It was an ordinary cardboard box, and the lid was folded so she couldn’t see inside. The box still smelled like the laundry soap it once held, but that wasn’t what was inside. Instead it was something special. Something for the shop…something he hoped Lovina would like.
He peeked in the top and then closed it up again, smiling. Was it a silly gift? Noah frowned. Maybe he should have gotten flowers or chocolates instead, like he’d seen other guys do. But Noah didn’t have a chance for second guessing before the shuffling of bike tires on gravel caught his attention. It had to be Lovina parking her bike. Noah sucked in a deep breath and forced a smile.
The door swung open and Lovina hurried in. She stopped short when she saw him, and her brow furrowed. Normally Lovina’s hair was perfectly combed back under her kapp, but today dark, wispy strands curled around her temples. Her face looked pale, and dark circles rimmed her eyes. Noah swallowed down the lump in his throat, wondering if she’d slept. Wondering if he was the cause of her disheveled look. From her sad look as she peered up at him, he knew he was.
“Lovina, I need to apologize for yesterday.” The words came out in a rush, and he stepped toward her, wishing he could wrap her up in his arms. She looked so worried. So weary. Noah wasn’t sure he’d ever seen her like this before. He reached out and offered her his hand, palm up. She looked at it, and then placed her hand in his. It was trembling.