Lana stiffened at the mention of a third accomplice. “A third person? Someone here in the hotel?”
“They don’t know. The detective doesn’t think so. He’s going to keep digging and see what he can find. Maybe Mr. Bahlmann will confess when he sees the charges piling against him.”
Lana nodded. “Thanks for stopping in to tell us. It’s good to know that this problem is behind us.” Her voice was tight and her words clipped.
“Do you need anything,” Sage asked.
“I don’t think so. If I do, I’ll be sure to call. Thank you.” Lana stood and took Sage’s hand when she approached, giving it a squeeze. “I’ll talk to you later.”
“You can call anytime if you need to.” She looked at Lana, then glanced back at Blake. “Seriously, anytime, day or night. But you’re going to be fine. It’s over now, for sure.”
“Thanks, I appreciate it,” Blake said.
Joel threw Blake a commiserating look as he said goodnight and escorted Sage out.
Blake tried to figure out what exactly had Lana on edge, even as he tried to swallow the guilt of knowing he should have figured it out somehow, despite the fact that the signs had been so subtle. But he hadn’t, and Lana had nearly died as a result.
Lana could only wait until she got Blake alone before she turned to ask him the question that had been burning through her. “Did you know all this time? Did you have any idea what he was doing? Help him?”
Blake looked at her with hurt and disbelief etching his face. “I can’t believe you would ask me that.”
“That’s not an answer. Yes or no. Did you know?” She felt stupid for asking, for even considering he would get involved in something that could ruin his career, but she couldn’t get Royce’s echoing words out of her head—even if Vanessa was involved in the case.
“Of course not. How could you think I would ever do anything so underhanded? That I would hurt you.” He leaned against the kitchen counter and stared at her. “How could you even think it?”
“Your dad. He said something, insinuated it was you helping him.” She shook her head slowly, as if she were getting bad reception and if she could only turn the right way, everything would come into focus. “I just can’t help but wonder. You’ve always wanted his approval.”
“Not like this. Never like this. I feel terrible that I didn’t even suspect him, that some kid died and you nearly did because it never occurred to me. I wouldn’t hurt you for anything, Lana.” Despair filled Blake’s face and he turned away from her, saying nothing for a long minute. The clock on the nightstand changed time and someone walked by the door, talking loudly about the Nuggets game. When he spoke again, his words were thick and full of emotion. “Go home to your sisters. If you can’t trust me even that much, then you don’t belong here.”
“Blake—”
“No. After what you just asked me, I can’t be reasonable. Just go and give me the night to figure out how I could be with someone who thinks so little of me.” His voice broke a little at the end of the sentence and he didn’t turn back to face her.
When she didn’t move, he looked at her over his shoulder, grief in his eyes. “Go. Go now.”
Lana stumbled back, wondering what she had done. How could she have put that expression on his face? She picked up her coat on automatic, grabbed her purse and shuffled toward the door. “Blake, I—”
“No. Go to your sisters. Let them coddle you. I can’t talk to you right now.”
Lana stumbled out of the room, moving for the front door. She didn’t even care about the tears on her face, except she wondered if she should be driving when she was so upset.
When she reached the entryway, Joel came upon her. “Hey, are you okay? Whoa.” He turned her and looked in her face. “What happened?”
“Will you drive me home? I probably shouldn’t.” Calling that big house “home” again when it wasn’t where Blake lived made her chest shudder with pain. Her hands shook as she pulled the coat tighter around her. “Please. I can’t.”
“Of course.” He tucked her under his arm, leading her to his SUV. “What happened? Did you and Blake have a fight?”
“He kicked me out, but it was my fault. Why did I say that? How could I think...” She couldn’t think at all anymore so she was glad when he didn’t ask anything else, just loaded her into the passenger seat and headed for her house.
When they pulled up, she realized Cami wasn’t back from her honeymoon, but that was fine. Lana didn’t need anyone, not now that she was home. She just needed to be alone. “Thank you,” she said when Joel stopped in the driveway.
“I’ll make sure you get in okay.” He slid out and came around to help her inside. Rosemary was by her side almost before they were in the door.
“What happened?”
“I don’t know,” Joel said. “She’s not very coherent. I think she and Blake had a fight.”
“Come on upstairs and tell me what a jerk he is. I’m a really good listener,” Rosemary said, taking over for Joel. “I’ll take care of her.”
“Good. I’ll send Sage over with something too.”
“Perfect.”
Lana let Rosemary take her upstairs and start a hot bubble bath.
“This is just what you need—hot water, good scents, a chance to relax and to get a hold of yourself. We can talk when you get out and you’ll be feeling better,” Rosemary said.
Lana nodded, but she hardly cared what she did. When the tub was full, she undressed and climbed in like Rosemary told her to, and when Sage brought in a big cup of tea, she drank it all down. Soft music played from the other room—the soundtrack to the Last of the Mohicans.
To her surprise, by the time the water cooled and she was forced to add more hot or get out, she did feel a little better. At least she could look at their discussion more sensibly. She should never have said what she said. She was in shock, but the thought had been there, like a germ working its way into her system. And even though she was pretty sure she was way off base, she couldn’t handle facing it all right now.
“Better?” Rosemary asked, sticking her head into the room after Lana was dressed in flannel pajamas and snuggled into bed.
“Yeah. Just so you know, this is going to be the suckiest Christmas ever. Even worse than last year. And I didn’t think anything could top last year.” She easily remembered the weepy holiday she had spent alone in her apartment, unable to handle more than an hour with Cami and their dad. This year she knew she wouldn’t be allowed to be alone. Her sisters would see to it. She wasn’t sure if that would be better or worse, but knowing it was her fault that things with Blake had fallen apart would make everything feel worse.
“So what did he do?” Rosemary asked, settling on the edge of the bed. She picked up the giant stuffed dolphin and held it to her.
“Nothing. It’s what I did.” Lana pulled her legs up to her chest and set her cheek on her knee. “Why am I so stupid?”
“Stupid Lana.” Rosemary tilted her head for a moment. “Sorry, nope, those two words do not go together. But pregnancy can stop your brain from functioning properly, and you do have a concussion. Maybe they’re responsible. What happened?”
Lana rubbed her face. “I asked Blake if he knew about any of the stuff going on. I practically accused him of being behind the whole thing. His dad said something, tried to throw blame.” She put a pillow over her head. “His dad really hated me that much. He wanted me out of the way. How could he? Doesn’t he care about Blake at all? Doesn’t he have even the slightest decency?”
Rosemary pulled the pillow away. “I think I caught all of that, even through the stuffing. And what makes you think he has any decency? Just because Blake is a stand-up guy, doesn’t mean his family is. And seriously, did you not have any clue what a jerk Royce was before this? Did you totally miss how he puts Blake down all the time, even though Blake’s totally awesome and any parent should be thrilled to claim him?”
Lana peeked out and looked at Rosem
ary. “Do you want to adopt him or something?”
“Oh, yeah.” Her brows wiggled.
“Hey, that’s my husband you’re talking about.”
“Yeah. Your husband who you just accused of being in cahoots with someone who has been trying to tear down the hotel Blake has worked so hard to build. Someone who tried to hurt the woman he loves. Are you completely mental? Oh wait, yeah, pregnancy hormones. Maybe if you go to him and tell him you’re certifiable, he’ll still forgive you.”
“Maybe he doesn’t love me as much as I love him. Maybe he loves me the way my dad loved my mom. Maybe even if he forgave me, he’d get sick of me and start seeing other women every time he takes a business trip.” She buried her face in her knees and cursed. “I couldn’t stand that. It would kill me just wondering if he might leave me someday—or worse, stay with me, but see someone on the side.”
She threw up her hands, mad at the string of thoughts. “And I thought I was past all of this. Why am I even thinking about it now?”
Rosemary shook her head. “I saw your parents together, and while they were nice, and he seemed to take care of her, Dad didn’t look at your mom the way Blake looks at you. As if she was his whole world. That’s precious, Lana. It hardly ever happens. You have to make this better, or you’ll spend your life wondering how you could be such a total idiot.”
She stood from the bed and tugged the blankets over Lana’s lap from where they’d been folded down on the bed. “Now, sleep. Take it easy, let that tea Sage brought you work to help you relax—don’t worry, it’s perfectly safe for the baby,” she anticipated Lana’s question. “Do you think she’d risk your little one? Rest.” She waited until Lana followed directions, then flipped off the light and left the door ajar. “Cami will be home tomorrow and I’ll have her come tell you what an idiot you’re being. Then you can go apologize to the hunk. Or we can sit up and eat ice cream half the night while she tells us about her honeymoon.”
Lana smiled despite herself as Rosemary walked down the hall. She had good sisters. How had they known exactly what she needed?
The next day Lana didn’t leave her bed except to use the bathroom and get food. The doctor would have been pleased, but she was just miserable. She flipped through TV, pretending to read magazines. She learned she had no knack for Angry Birds on her phone, and refused to answer if anyone called. Especially Cami, because Rosemary was right, she would definitely have words about Lana’s stupidity. She tried calling Blake, but he didn’t answer, and she didn’t know what to say anyway, so she hung up instead of leaving a message. Was this what it was like for him a year before when he was trying to call her and couldn’t find the words?
Lana wanted to spend a few more hours wallowing before she had to face the wrath of her older sister—who was bound to be bossy.
When Cami came by that evening, she did not disappoint.
She pushed into the room without knocking. “I heard you did something stupid. Rosemary was a little lean on the details. You want to fill me in?” Cami sat on the edge of the bed.
“Nope.” Lana scooted up a little more in the bed so she leaned on the pillows instead of laying on them.
“I hear you haven’t gotten out of bed all day.”
“Sure I have. I used the bathroom three times and went downstairs for food at least four times. Maybe five.” She thought for a second then nodded. “Five. The baby really wanted ice cream. Besides, the doctor said to take it easy, to rest for a few days so I am. Big deal. I have a fractured skull, you know.” She sounded more like a sullen kid who knew she deserved punishment than someone sticking up for herself, but she couldn’t muster any righteous indignation.
“I don’t think your son was dying for ice cream.” Cami looked at the stack of dirty dishes beside the bed. “And if you brought all the food back here to eat and wallow, it doesn’t count as having gotten out of bed. What happened?”
Lana looked away. “I’m stupid. I’m a stupid idiot, and I can’t help myself. Apparently.”
“I bet you can help yourself, you just choose not to.” Cami folded her legs in front of her and grabbed the same dolphin Rosemary had been holding the previous night. “How are you a stupid idiot this time?”
“Hey.” Lana threw the eel pillow at her.
“Well, you married the guy in Vegas, kept it a secret, got pregnant and didn’t tell anyone. I gotta say, your track record isn’t very good right about now. I never knew you to act like an idiot before.” She studied the porpoise. “You always seemed insanely sane and impossibly smart. You actually intimidate me sometimes.”
That perked Lana up. “Really? I never knew that.”
“And I’ll never admit to it again.” Cami set down the stuffed animal and turned all of her attention on Lana. “So really, tell me what happened.”
It was difficult for Lana to get all of her thoughts in order. She was hungry again. Stupid pregnancy. She managed to explain everything after a few minutes, though, and waited for the backlash.
“Well, now I understand the comment about being a stupid idiot. But it’s not like it’s terminal. You’re only an idiot where he’s concerned, apparently. Why do you suppose that is?” Cami leaned back against the pillow beside Lana’s.
“Because I love him. Love turns us all to idiots. Look at Mom—staying with Dad even though he kept cheating on her.”
“You think that made her an idiot? She was willfully blind, maybe. But they had a good relationship, for what it was. It wasn’t what I have with Vince, or what you had with Blake before your idiot gene kicked in, but it was good. For her.” She shrugged. “At least enough to justify staying despite everything else.”
Lana stared in confusion. “Last week you said he made her sad.”
“Sometimes, but she didn’t do anything about it, did she? She wouldn’t have stayed without a reason. I don’t have to agree or understand for it to be good enough for her.”
Lana considered that. “Rosemary says my idiocy is caused by the pregnancy. That I lost all my brains because of hormones. Or it could be the concussion. Do you think Blake will buy that?” She looked at Cami hopefully.
“Doubtful. But if you can figure out what made you think such an idiotic thing, maybe you can manage not to do it again and he’ll forgive you.” She glanced at her perfect nails. “Maybe. If you beg a whole lot.”
“You’re really making me feel better here.”
“I’m not trying to make you feel better. I’m trying to goad you out of bed to go after what you want.”
Lana looked down at her lap and picked at the nail polish that was starting to flake off. “I love him.”
“I know you do, honey. Now get showered and dressed. Do something with yourself and go talk to him. Christmas is tomorrow and I want you to be happy.” Cami leaned over and gave Lana a tight hug, then kissed her cheek. “You’re okay? Anything I should know about the incident at the hotel?”
“I’ll be fine. I just need to take it easy for a few days and not hit my head again anytime soon.”
“Good. I was worried sick when Delphi called me. I hear Blake’s been calling to check up on you today too.” She stood. “Now I’m going home to unpack and snuggle with my hubby before we have to return to reality in the morning. Let me know how it goes. Text me. Don’t call. I won’t answer before morning.” She waggled her brows at Lana, jumped up and danced out of the room.
Lana watched her go. Blake wouldn’t answer her calls, but he called one of her sisters to check on her. So there was a ray of hope. She peeled back her blankets and headed for the shower.
An hour later Lana stepped out of Rosemary’s car at the resort—she’d left hers parked at the hotel when Joel drove her home. Blake’s car was in its usual spot, so she was sure he was there. That was a relief.
She walked up to their suite—his suite that had begun to feel so much like theirs instead. Her heart pounded, her hands turned sweaty and she wondered if she would start to hyperventilate, but after considerin
g whether to knock or not, she used her key to open the door.
Blake was in his suit coat, sitting at the table with his laptop open and reports on the screen. He looked up in surprise, then stood to face her, his expression unreadable. “Lana. You weren’t at work today. I heard you stayed home to recover.”
She nodded. “I wallowed in bed and ate copious amounts of ice cream. I’m feeling a little better now.”
His voice was flat and careful when he spoke. “You needed the day to yourself. I’m glad you were able to take it.” His eyes skimmed over her, but didn’t meet hers. “It’s been a crazy few months, especially the past couple of weeks.”
“Yes.” She knew she needed to say something more, but she didn’t know what or how to begin. Finally she just forced herself to say, “About yesterday.”
He waved his hand. “No. Don’t worry about it. I understand.”
“You do?” Relief poured through her. “I thought for sure you were going to be mad and I wouldn’t even get a chance to explain.” She stepped closer, then saw the emptiness in his eyes.
“No. I get it. I do. You can’t trust me. Because you can’t trust anyone.” He reached over and picked up a stack of papers from the desk. “You didn’t want this marriage. You wanted to be free. Apparently I can’t give you what you need, can’t give anyone what they want, so maybe you’re right.”
Panic arched through her. “What? No.”
He didn’t let her go on, though, interrupting. “Yes. You need to be free so you don’t have to risk. I get that now. Every time we get too close, you back away. I can’t live like that—I won’t live like that. So I decided to take your most recent offer.” He handed her the pages.
Reclaiming His Bride (DiCarlo Brides book 3) (The DiCarlo Brides) Page 20