by Lauren Dane
“Stubborn.” He ran his fingertips over her collar.
“I have to be to keep up with you. I had to take it off. At the airport I mean.”
“The collar?”
“Yes. I’m sorry.”
He laughed, pulling her even closer, which was just fine with her. He gave off heat like a furnace and he made her feel safe. Plus he smelled good.
“Don’t apologize. It’s not because I think you need it to remember what we have. Also it’s the airport, you have to do it and I certainly don’t expect you to do otherwise.”
“It helped. The collar, I mean. When I felt alone or overwhelmed I’d touch it. Or when I was lost, it would be there against my skin. Reassuring. Strong. Like you.”
He hummed, kissing the top of her head. “I like that. You should sleep. I’ll leave when you fall asleep and lock the door. There’s a bed in the couch. I’ll be fine.”
“The last eight times I slept at your house I started experimenting. At first I’d unlock the door when I woke in the middle of the night. Then I left it unlocked, which was hard, I admit. But then I left it unlocked and slept just fine. The last time I left the door open a crack. I want you in here with me. I can’t promise I’ll be able to do it, but I want to try. I want to sleep next to you. I need that. Especially tonight.”
He moved so that she was on her back and he loomed over her. “Really?” He kissed her softly.
“Yeah.”
“Then I’ll have to make you nice and tired, good and relaxed, so you’ll sleep well.” The flash of that grin made things tighten up. Her nipples, her clit. Her skin was extra sensitive with him so close.
“Yay.”
He kissed her again. A slow, deep, meandering kiss. His tongue slid over her bottom lip just before he nipped it. She moaned and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. Holding on.
He slowly unbuttoned her shirt, petting over her skin, bringing her to life in a way only he could. She gave over to him immediately because things were better when she did. Because he took away all the anxiety and worry and he made it all right.
“Love these tits.” He pinched her nipples, tugged at the hoops in them until she writhed into his touch.
She managed to get the muscle control to grab the hem of his shirt and pull it off, tossing it away somewhere. She hissed when she rose up and they were skin to skin. The heat of him was so good.
She licked over his chest. “I can pierce you. If you like.” She ran the edge of her teeth over his left nipple, the one he favored. The one that made his cock jump in her hand where she’d shoved it down the front of his sleep pants.
“Yeah?”
“Mm. Yes.”
She ran her nails down his sides. She still had one last session to do on his back to finish up the shading and he’d be done. She was careful not to dig her nails into the muscles there, though she wanted to. Though he made a rather delightful groan when she did. He needed to be totally healed first.
Then she’d scratch her nails down his back so he’d know he was all hers.
“That smile you’re wearing strikes fear in my heart.”
She laughed, her head tipping back, exposing her throat to his hot, openmouthed kisses. “I was just thinking about how I’m going to mark your back up with my nails so no other ladies can get a taste. You’re all mine.”
He laughed, nipping the delicate skin of her neck. “I’m all yours already. Not like any other ladies will be around me with my shirt off to see anyway.”
“Oh, well done. I like that answer.”
“It’s true.” He reared up long enough to pull her pants and underwear off and kick his own free as well. When he returned he lay on her, all his weight for a short period of time. Skin to skin. Both groaned at how good it was.
“I never understood what it was to be like this with anyone. I heard people talk about the deep connection they had while they were having sex and I thought it was bullshit. Sex is great and you can feel close to your partner, sure, but this? What I feel every time I touch you? Nothing else compares.”
He kissed her long and slow again, seducing her as she let herself fall under his spell. She was safe with him. No matter how much he excited her or stoked her desire, she could trust him with the barest parts of herself.
He licked her nipples and she sucked a breath, arching into his mouth as his hands found her hips and held her just where he wanted her to be.
He nibbled and licked as she was helpless to do anything but hold on. So she did.
“I need you a whole lot right now,” she managed to say. “I want you inside.”
He pulled back enough to look into her face. “Hands and knees.”
She rolled and got into position. Once he got behind her, she leaned into his thighs because that’s how he liked it. He thrust into her pussy so fast she nearly choked when she sucked in a breath.
He kept a pace that pleased him. He wanted to pull out and make her suck his cock before he let her come. He wanted to come on her tits and make her finger herself to orgasm. So much. But she’d opened herself up, told him some things that left him sure he needed to keep those things on deck for another time. That night he wanted to possess her, to let her know she was his to protect and cherish. It’s what they both needed.
She was so tight and wet around him as she thrust back in the small amount of space the position allowed. She essentially bounced back on his cock, her ass against his thighs.
“You’re so sexy.” He ran his hands all over her back and hips before he reached around to take her breasts in his hands. Pulling and pinching those nipples wearing the hoops he’d given her.
“Mmmm.”
He smiled as he leaned forward to kiss her shoulder. “Make yourself come around my cock,” he whispered against her skin.
She whimpered, changing her balance to slide a hand between her legs. He felt the brush of her fingertips where he thrust into her cunt. A feather of a touch before her hand moved up to her clit. She tightened around him, making him see stars for a brief moment.
He nibbled over her back. Nipping here and here. Hard enough to leave a mark where only he would see. Their secret. She arched on an indrawn breath.
“Greedy.”
She raced to climax as he tried to hold his own back. He wanted a long slow fuck but she took it to a frenzy because he needed her with such an intensity he couldn’t see straight. He sped up his thrusts and she pressed back against him, taking him even deeper.
Her inner walls began to ripple around him, her cunt squeezing, super heating, so fucking wet as she finally exploded. There was nothing he could do but go with her, follow her into climax as he whispered her name and took her to the bed, wrapping his arms around her and whispering that he loved her.
21
She hated the way the hospital smelled. It was more than the general antiseptic of a regular hospital. There was something else. It made her sad.
They had gone through two doors, acquired special visitor passes, had emptied their pockets and their belongings had been placed in a plastic bag to be kept at the nurse’s station. They’d told her the day before to leave her purse at home, so she had.
Her hands shook, but Jonah just reached out and took one. “You okay?”
Raven shook her head. “No. But I’m better off than she is.”
They went through another set of doors and were led into a room with a few pieces of furniture. There were big windows, but they were safety glass and bars held anyone several inches away from their surface.
“I’m going to go get Lena. Do you have any questions before I go?” The orderly who’d accompanied them was a pretty big guy, probably in his forties.
“Is there something I should avoid talking about? I don’t know what to say.”
He smiled. “You’re her daughter. She’s been talking about it all day long. She’s having a good day today. Just tell her about your life. Everything will be all right. I’ll be here the whole time. Over in that corner. If
she gets excitable, and I don’t think she will, but if she does, I’ll step in and if we can’t get her calm again, I’ll take her back to her room.” He paused. “The medications she’s been on . . . she’ll most likely be heavier than you last remember her. She also has some tremors in her face. Namely her mouth. The older drugs had more side effects than they do now. I just wanted to let you know. She’s not in pain or anything.”
They sat at a table, Jonah at her side, and they waited.
It wasn’t long before the door on the far side of the room opened and the orderly led her mother in. Raven hoped she hid her shock well. Her mother was still recognizable, but she was heavier, yes. Her once glorious deep black hair was short now, shot with gray.
Raven stood and moved toward her mother.
“Beautiful Raven-Haired Baby Girl.” Her mother used Raven’s full, given name and then she opened her arms. “Got a hug for your momma?”
She went into the hug and tried very hard not to cry. And failed.
“Shhh. Everything’s gonna be all right now.” Lena patted her arm and they walked over to the table together. “Sit now and introduce me to your young man.”
Jonah stood and took Lena’s hand, kissing it in chivalrous fashion. Lena blushed.
“Ma’am, I’m Jonah Warner. Not so young, but certainly Raven’s. I’m very pleased to meet you.”
“You’re alive. My lord, girl. For so long.” Her mother had to stop speaking, dabbing her eyes with a handkerchief. Raven made a mental note to buy her mother some more and send them. They had said she could send care packages.
“I know. But I’m here now. I missed you so much.”
“Dolly, I’m sorry. So very sorry I wasn’t there. I’ve been sick a long time. I kept losing my way. Heard voices. I was afraid I’d hurt you. I got arrested and they put me in a mental ward. That’s when they finally found out about the schizophrenia. And then I tried to get better. Sometimes the pills worked. But before they’d let me out, they wouldn’t work no more. And then my sister Lorene came and told me you were dead! I lost myself for a long time. Can’t say I cared much about getting better then. And those nice people came. Mike and Bonnie. They told me you was alive and that my sister lied. I can’t imagine why she did that, Raven. My goodness, you’re a beauty. Like Mama Eula in her day.”
Eula was Raven’s great-grandmother. “She sure did love you. I think they lied to her too, Momma. I don’t know why they did it either. But I’m going to go down there and find out. Lorene is still alive and living in Happy Bend.” And she was due a reckoning.
“She ain’t worth your time. Don’t you let her get you all worked up.”
“Answers need to be had. But never you mind. Now that I got you back, I’m not getting worked up.”
Lena looked to Jonah. “You be sure of that. I don’t want her down there near my people alone.”
Jonah nodded, solemn. “Yes, ma’am.”
They talked for the entire hour allotted for the visit and Raven promised to return the following day for another visit. She could stay a week or so and she planned on it. And on her way back home she was going to pay a visit to her aunt in Happy Bend.
Jonah walked her out, an arm around her shoulder.
“I figure I can visit her once every two months or so. Write her. They said I could. I’ve been without her a really long time. It’s strange to think I have a mother. I was so used to being alone. And now I have her. And you. God, next thing I’ll start being nice.”
He laughed, pulling her closer. “Well, let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”
“I know you need to get back to Seattle.” She moved around their suite, putting things away, organizing them. He’d figured out some time before that it had to be connected with a childhood of total chaos. She liked things where she knew they’d be. Wanted to know they were in their place.
So he tried to make that easy for her, though he had to admit to being messy at times to watch her get grumpy and then smooth out as she worked. It made them both feel better, to click. She needed to fix things just like he did. So he gave her things to fix and when she did, it fixed him too.
“I have the time. I’m not leaving you here.” He worked at his laptop at a makeshift office space he’d created at the table. He could totally work from there and so it wasn’t necessary for him to leave until two days from then. After they’d gone to Happy Bend to deal with her bitch of an aunt.
Even if he’d had to back out of his cases, he would have rather done that than have her face any of this on her own. The week with her mother had strengthened her in several ways, but it wore on her. Her mother was not okay. Her medications were stabilized, yes, but she’d lived a long time with a great deal of upheaval and it had taken a toll. Her physical health was also in bad shape. Her liver was shot from having been exposed to years of the medications she’d been on. Her heart was bad. Raven wanted to move her up to Seattle, to a private facility. He’d secretly looked it up and would take care of the costs himself, though he knew it would be a big fight. That kind of care was ridiculously expensive. But if that’s what she wanted and if the doctors approved it, he’d make it happen.
Raven had endured enough heartbreak for multiple lifetimes. He’d do his damndest to spare her any more. Even if she got testy.
But he didn’t think it would come to that anyway. Lena had a life there in Oklahoma City, such as it was. She had physicians who knew her and who she knew and trusted. She had relationships with some of the other patients and the orderlies and other staff she dealt with. It was her life and he knew, deep down, that Raven knew it too.
He’d let her work it through and be there every step of the way.
His mother had checked in several times. The way Raven had backed Liesl at Thanksgiving had forged a bond between the two. He was grateful for it and Raven seemed to be as well. He had only given a small bit of information to his family, not wanting to share until Raven was ready. They knew she was dealing with a family health crisis here, but not anything more specific.
“You have a law practice, Jonah. It’s not like you can just up and take a week off without batting an eye. I don’t want you blowing off work for me.”
“We’ve gone over this. I’m not blowing anything off. I’m working several hours a day here remotely. I don’t have any appearances for two weeks anyway. The motions I needed filed are easily filed through my staff. That’s why I have a staff. My father is a far better attorney than I am; if there’s any problem, he’ll handle it.”
“Have you noticed how you argue with me as easily as breathing now? Think of all the color and adventure I’ve added to your life.”
He looked up from his screen and smiled at her, often surprised at the things she said. At how she got him and teased. Her way of connecting.
“I’ve told you many times, you’re beyond awesome. And you have a nice rack.”
“Always a plus.” Her phone rang and she answered.
“Hey, Brody.” She went to sit near the sliding glass doors, staring out into the gray.
“How are things? How’s your mom?”
“I’m fine. She’s okay. She’s tired a lot. They say it’s normal for her though. How’s the shop?”
“Fine. We had three people call in this week to volunteer to fill in for you. You have a lot of friends.”
She started to cry. She sort of hated that part. After not crying for years and years, she couldn’t seem to find a way to get all her emotions in check. The day before she burst into tears when they were in a diner and they ran out of cherry pie.
“Aw, sweetheart, it’s okay. I told you to make you happy, not upset you.”
Jonah moved nearer, his laptop on his legs. He worked to be close to her, understanding she didn’t want to be petted right then, but needed his nearness.
“It’s not you. It’s all this stuff going on. My mother’s doctor said it was normal for people who are dealing with this stuff be emotional. I’m glad you’re covered. I feel ter
rible leaving you in the lurch.”
“You shut up. Jesus. It’s a fucking tattoo shop. I can limit hours or hire extra help, which I have. What you’re dealing with is way more important, so stop or I’ll be mad and sic Erin on you.”
She smiled, taking the tissue Jonah handed her.
“She okay? Alexander? Martine? Rennie? Poppy?”
“Everyone is fine. The kids miss you a lot. They’ve all gotten used to having you around so don’t go running off.”
“I won’t. Seems I’ve sort of hooked up with a dude there and I have a mortgage and a life and all.”
Jonah made a grumbly sound of assent and it soothed her. He was good at that. Soothing.
“We’ll be back day after tomorrow.”
“Don’t you dare come back to work for another two days after that. You got me? Can we do anything to help? All you need to do is ask.”
“I know, which is really all I need. Thank you.”
“You got it. You know where we are. I’ll see you soon.”
He hung up and she did too before putting her phone on the table and leaning back, tucking her feet beneath her. She needed to get a decent night’s sleep. They were waking up early and driving to Happy Bend first thing. She was going to confront her aunt and get some answers.
22
She was up long before dawn. She’d tried to go back to sleep, but that hadn’t worked so she’d carefully gotten out of bed and moved into the main room. The hotel had a perfunctory gym so she got dressed, dashed off a note to Jonah in case he woke up, and headed down.
The nice thing about hotels at four in the morning is that they’re deserted. So she didn’t have to share the machines with anyone as she warmed up or even when she set the treadmill. She hated running. With all her heart. But it was a good way to deal with all this shit in her head.
That’s where he found her. Her hair in a ponytail, swinging back and forth. Sweating. She wore headphones as she ran. He used to not know what from. But now that he did, it hurt him to see her this way, even as he knew it was necessary.