by Lauren Dane
“I never really had a home until now. I’m glad to be back too.”
25
She’d put her hair up so the earrings he’d given her sparkled in the light. Her collar necklace accented the neckline of the dress she wore and filled him with heat every time he looked at it.
Christmas had arrived and they were at his parents’ annual mixer. People he’d known most of his life moved around the house, glasses in hand, smiles on their faces. Toby stood in front of her, grinning as she tried to appear stern but failed. Jonah had been pretty happy about how his family had taken to Raven and she to them.
Carrie moved to Raven’s side and Raven turned a big smile her way. His women there together. Raven might have been off-putting and socially awkward in some situations, but she was good to his daughter. Kind.
Perhaps it was that her own mother had failed so terribly and she saw some of herself in Carrie. Perhaps it was that Carrie belonged to Jonah so she extended that caring because of that connection. But regardless, though she was still totally unique in the way she dealt with Carrie, his daughter had taken to Raven. She’d even suggested Jonah ask Raven to move in.
They’d come a long way since that first meeting. In the weeks since they’d returned from Oklahoma City they’d gotten a great deal closer. Raven trusted him enough to lean on him when she needed to. He kept finding out things about her that made him love her even more.
She slept in his bed now without hesitation, though it had been rocky the first few times. There were nightmares from time to time but she didn’t speak of them. He simply put his arms around her, letting her snuggle back against him and fall back to sleep.
He was totally and utterly satisfied with his life and ass over teakettle in love with the funky, bitchy, inked-up gorgeous dame across the room.
One of the waitstaff approached him quietly. “There’s someone at the door asking for you. They weren’t on the guest list.”
“Thank you.” He headed toward the front entry to find Charlotte standing there. “What are you doing here?”
She once had belonged there. Had been welcomed by his family. Her beauty turned heads. Still did, he’d wager. She was pale and fragile and knew exactly what to wear to accentuate it. But she left him cold and had worn out that welcome years before.
“Carrie told me you were seeing someone.”
He shook his head, trying to figure her out. “What?”
“Carrie told me you were serious about someone. She said you were in love.”
“As it happens, I am. But that doesn’t answer the question of why you’re here.”
“Isn’t it obvious?” Raven came into the entry. For all Charlotte’s regal, fragile femininity, Raven was all fire and sensuality. And, he could easily see, some anger.
He put an arm around her waist, partly because he loved to touch her and partly to keep her away from Charlotte.
Charlotte curled her lip. “This? Jonah, she’s your midlife crisis. I’m the mother of your child.”
Then it hit him and he barked a laugh. “Are you shitting me?” He looked to Raven. “Gorgeous, I had no idea.”
“Hm.”
He kissed her, still laughing.
“Jonah, you’re her ATM. Your daughter is nearly eighteen. Her ability to control you through Carrie will be lessened then. She’s here to play the understanding and yet wounded woman. Jeez, how can you be so smart about everything but not have seen this a mile away?”
Raven then focused on Charlotte, losing the amused smile she’d had for Jonah. “You don’t deserve that girl. How dare you come here and try to put her in the middle? What kind of person are you?”
“Oh please. You think you’re just going to walk into my life?”
Raven snorted. “As if I’d want it? I have my own life. You have your life and it sucks. My life on the other hand includes Jonah. I should feel sorry for you that you only see Jonah’s worth in his wallet. Frankly the other side of his pants has a lot more appeal.”
Jonah guffawed a moment and tried to be serious again. It made Raven feel even stronger about her point. “Now, you need to go before Carrie hears you’re here and you upset her.”
“Don’t you tell me how to be a mother.”
“I’m telling you how to be a human being. You already failed at mothering.”
“Charlotte, I really don’t know what you thought you’d gain here. I’m not interested. You’re not interested. This is insulting to both of us. You need to go now. You weren’t invited. Carrie tells me you informed her you were in Gstaad for the rest of the year anyway.”
“I’m staying with my parents for a few days. You can’t stop me from seeing my daughter.”
“Jonah, Raven, people are asking for you.” Liesl came into the room and Charlotte took a step back.
Jonah turned, holding an arm out for Raven. She patted him.
“Just a moment. Charlotte, I’d like a word. Outside.”
Liesl gave him a glare when he began to argue.
He looked nervous, but he sighed and clearly gave in. “I’ll be here waiting. Don’t get the police called out on such a cold night.” He kissed her cheek and then put his suit jacket on her shoulders.
“I’ll try not to ruin your clothes.” Raven opened the front door and turned her attention to Charlotte. “It’s me or her.” She jerked her head in Liesl’s direction.
Charlotte paled further and scurried out. “I can’t believe you’d just give up on us, Jonah.”
Raven shut the door in their wake. “Yeah, yeah. Of course you can. Now, you and I need to have a chat.”
Charlotte rounded, her tiny little fists balled up around ridiculous nails. Raven found it hard to imagine her and Jonah together.
“I know who you are. I know what you are. White trash. Mother in an institution. Tattoo parlor? You had several relationships with women.” She sneered. “You’re a whore, a lesbian, and a temporary fling. Once he hears what you are he’ll dump you so fast your head will spin.”
Raven rolled her eyes. “Honey, I’m going to be totally honest with you. Mainly because I don’t have the energy to blunt the truth and I don’t like you. I’m totally white trash. I lived in more than one shitty little trailer growing up. My mother is schizophrenic and living in an institution, and Jonah has met her. I can’t imagine why I should be ashamed of her mental illness, but you’re fucked up, so there you go.”
Charlotte began to speak again and Raven made a quick movement with her hand. “No. Not your turn. I’m many things. Since you’re name-calling and all, you should get your terminology straight. I’m not actually a lesbian because I like men too. They call that bisexual. I call it not your business. I work in a tattoo parlor. Which means two things. First, unlike you, I have an actual job. Second, it’s not a secret. In fact I just finished a full back piece on Jonah. It’s amazing. He’s got a great body, as I’m sure you remember. As to temporary?” She shrugged. “Time will tell. One thing that isn’t temporary is your divorce.” Raven bared her teeth in a feral smile.
“However, I am not a whore. You see, I have more dignity and class than to ever sell my pussy. Not to a biker, and not to a rich guy who I plan to cheat on and divorce and hit up for money when my latest loser boyfriend strands me in whatever country I’m in instead of raising my kid.”
She took a step closer, seeing all the women she’d met before and since Jonah who projected their own misdeeds onto her. “There’s a whore out here, but I’m not it. You’re not even a good whore! Instead of finding yourself a new rich guy you keep hooking up with losers. Oh? You thought you were the only one capable of doing a background check? I didn’t even need to waste money. I just looked up your stupid ass online.”
Raven let that settle in. This bitch and her little private investigator. So scandalized over a bunch of crap Jonah already knew. And she was there with him and his family at Christmas. It had taken her a long time to admit she was worth it, that she should open up and let Jonah in and let him
love her. But she had and she would fight until she was bloody to keep what she had. Take that, Charlotte.
“So here’s how it goes. You aren’t getting Jonah back. Not ever.”
“I could if I wanted.”
“Really?” Raven looked all around. “Where is he? Hm? Please, you’re embarrassing yourself. See, your mistake, one of many, was to assume I was a stupid useless twat like you. I have a job. I pay my own bills. I’d never use a man like that. I can see Jonah’s value and you can’t. He’s a smart man. He knows what you are. He’s only tossed cash your way to protect Carrie. But that’s over too.
“You can’t have him back. He hasn’t been yours in a long time. You blew it. I’d urge you to put some effort into your relationship with Carrie. She’s an amazing girl. You have so much to be proud of. But we both know you’re a shitty mother. A failure. A heartless, conniving bitch. The best thing you ever did was to give birth to her and you can’t even see that. But he can. She’s got a wonderful father and a family who adores her. A great education and lots of opportunities will ensure she’s nothing like you. Be proud of that and back off.”
“Or what?”
She got right in Charlotte’s face then, nose to nose. “Or I will make you. I didn’t grow up in your world. I can’t make a game out of clever insults. I’ll end you. I love Jonah and I have no plans to have you messing around in my relationship. Back. Off. He’s not yours. He’s mine. I’m not giving him up. This isn’t a game to me. This is my life and the man I love. Don’t make this any worse than it is because I won’t lose and we both know it. I love your daughter too. But I’m fairly sure that if you continue your little games, it’s Liesl you’ll have to watch over your shoulder for, and God help you. Now, take your high-class-hooker ass out of here before I let Liesl call the police and you once again hurt your daughter.”
She turned and walked away, leaving Charlotte gaping in the driveway.
Jonah looked worried, but relaxed when she appeared to have no blood on her clothes. She decided to take it easy on him. “I believe your mother said we had people looking for us?”
He grinned and pulled her to him, hugging her tight. “I’m sorry. You know there’s nothing—”
She made a dismissive sound. “Of course I know that. You’d be limping for the rest of your life if I thought otherwise. I’m not going to let her continue to mess with you. She needed to know that.” An interesting thing, as she’d never actually felt the need to mark her territory or defend her man before. Oh, that Jonah, still making her break her rules.
Carrie came over, looking worried. “I heard my mother was here. I told her about you, but not in the way you think.”
Raven took Carrie’s hands. “It’s all right.”
“I told her because I wanted her to know Dad was happy. I thought it would help her let go.”
“Jonah, can you please get me some cider?” Raven motioned toward the back deck where warming stations had been set up with seating. “Carrie and I are going to be out there a while.”
Jonah kissed Carrie’s temple. “Be right back with two ciders and probably some pie.”
Carrie grinned and followed Raven outside. “This way he can watch us without hovering and feeling guilty. Carrie, I’m not mad that you told your mom your dad was dating.”
“I didn’t say that. I told her he was in love and that I figured you two would be married by this time next year. And I’m glad of it. She’s just . . . I feel bad for her. But I didn’t tell her because I think she and my dad should get back together.”
“Look, kid, I promise you, I’m not mad. Even if you had done it that way, I wouldn’t be mad. He’s your dad, you have the right to feel any way you choose about him and me.”
“I never pictured him with anyone like you.”
Raven couldn’t help it, she laughed. “I bet!”
“No. I mean, you’re different than the women in this world. The ones he dated before were like my mom. Do you think I’m like my mom?”
“That’s like making me tell you if your butt looks big in that dress.” Carrie snorted, one brow going up in a very fine imitation of her father. Raven shrugged. “Well, okay, so I have to admit I have trouble not being really frank. But, the truth is, I don’t know her. But I know you. And I know your dad and I know he’s beyond proud of you. And from what I can see he’s got reason. You’re smart and successful and independent. Those are all good things. If your mom has those qualities, then I guess you are.”
“Wow, you were working really hard there.”
Raven snickered. “Your dad has had a good influence on me. Don’t tell him that though. I like to keep him on his toes and perpetually concerned I’m going to say something rude.”
Carrie giggled.
“It’s really not in my best interest, nor is it my place, to say anything negative about your mom. She made you and really, right there that’s all I need to know.”
“She was awful, wasn’t she?”
Raven took a deep breath. She’d tried diplomacy and it was damned hard. Carrie was a smart girl; she knew the truth. “Yes. But it was about me. Not about you. So that’s something you don’t need to be concerned over. She’s in charge of herself. Like you’re in charge of yourself.”
“She’s my mom. She’s supposed to not be like that.”
“My mom is in a mental institution after repeatedly abandoning me and leaving me at the mercies of her horrible family and foster care. Perspective is important.”
Carrie’s eyes widened. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I don’t want you to be. Thing is, she’s the way she is. Your mom, I mean. Now she’s not eighty or anything. She could change. But chances are? She won’t. You, on the other hand? You’re seventeen and on the verge of everything. Everything. You come from a great home. Your family adores you. You will fall in love for the first time and get your heart broken terribly. So terribly your father will growl and snarl and buy you things to make it better. And possibly punch the boy responsible in the nose. You will go to college and have roommates. You will graduate and get a real job. You will make friends who will be at your side for the rest of your life and you will find that very right person. You have the chance to walk into your future with your eyes open and arms wide. What your mother is or isn’t can’t hurt you now. Not unless you let it. She’s who she is and what she is. But that doesn’t mean you can’t make better choices. And, I speak from experience when I say it is absolutely one hundred percent all right to build a deep moat around yourself to keep out the people who will harm you either on purpose or because they are not fully formed human beings and only see themselves.”
“I guess I keep waiting for her to snap out of it.”
Raven shrugged, unsure what else she could say. Charlotte wasn’t going to change because she was a spoiled bitch.
Jonah came out holding a tray with cider and pie. She grinned at him, enjoying his anxiety for a brief moment before she smoothed her grin into a smile to let him know everything was fine.
“I’m sorry, Dad.”
He shook his head. “It’s not your fault, honey. You warm enough out here? I think your grandmother is looking for you, and Levi and Daisy have an announcement so I’m supposed to round people up.”
“You should assure him I didn’t say anything scary.”
He rolled his eyes at her. “I trust you with my most precious thing.” He tipped his chin in Carrie’s direction. That made Raven nearly tear up, but she wrestled it back by thinking of his dumb ex-wife instead.
They filed back inside, moving to sit on one of the long couches.
“I’m eating this pie.” She spoke in an undertone after putting the cider down.
He placed a hand on her knee, making her tingly. The rogue. “Gorgeous, that’s what it’s there for. I enjoy watching you eat pie.”
Well, given the swank level that night she wondered if the food wasn’t for decoration. But it was pie and she loved pie. So.
A tray with champagne glasses passed through. He grabbed one for her. “Keep eating that pie.” He leaned very close. “I’m just going to imagine licking it off your belly.”
Guh.
“You’re going to make me choke.”
“Not on pie.”
That one made her laugh and people turned to look. Jeez.
Levi and Daisy came in and waited for everyone to quiet down.
“As most of you know, we got engaged some time ago. Daisy has been busily creating art people have been busily buying. We set up house together. I’ve continued to build the Bainbridge Island office of the firm, taking on a new associate this summer. So we’ve been busy and the wedding kept being put on the back burner.”
Liesl frowned and Raven held back a smile. She knew via Daisy that Liesl had been sending many helpful suggestions to them after they’d passed the year mark of being engaged. Daisy was feeling panicked and trapped by all the expectations placed on her for some big giant wedding.
“So it was sort of a surprise to find out we’ll be parents in a little over six months from now.”
The room erupted with applause and well wishes.
“We’d better get on that planning then.” Liesl managed a smile and made Raven believe it. The woman did adore her granddaughter so it wasn’t so hard to believe she’d be thrilled with another one.
“Well, as it happens, we snuck off to Las Vegas day before yesterday and got married. Just the two of us. We haven’t told anyone yet.” Levi looked to Jonah. “Sorry. I wanted you to stand up for me, but it was a whim.”
“I’m thrilled for you both. You can make it up to me by letting me throw you a reception dinner.”
He took Raven’s hand and she squeezed it.
There was a toast or three made. Lots of happy hugs and well wishes, and at last things mellowed a little. Enough that Raven thought she’d make her escape. But Liesl pinned her with her gaze and made her way over.
“Damn.”
Jonah, who’d been talking with Toby, turned and saw his mother on the way over. “Welcome to the family. Sink or swim, gorgeous.” And then he scampered off with Toby like a naughty little boy.