—William Shakespeare
“What’s wrong?” Kishan asked.
I shoved the note back into my pocket and blushed furiously.
“Nothing. I’ll, umm … be right back. Okay?”
“Okay. Hurry though. We’re almost there.”
“I will.”
I ran down the steps and slammed into Ren’s room as he was pulling a shirt over his head. “What exactly do you think you are doing?” I yelled.
He froze and then smiled disarmingly at me and lowered his shirt over his very nice chest. “Getting dressed. And good morning to you too. Now what’s all the yelling about?”
“I don’t know how you snuck this into my jacket, but you’ve got to stop.”
“What exactly did I sneak into your jacket?”
I thrust the crumpled paper into his hand. “This!”
He sat on the bed and opened the paper slowly, smoothing it out on his jean-clad thigh. I involuntarily squeaked as I realized I was mesmerized by his movements.
“It looks like a Shakespeare poem, Kells. You like Shakespeare so what’s the problem?”
“The problem is that I’m no longer entertaining poems from you.”
He leaned back and assessed me boldly, grinned, and said, “‘Was ever woman in this humour woo’d? Was ever woman in this humour won?’”
“Give it a rest, Shakespeare. I’m not a shrew to be tamed. Like I told you last night, I’m dating Kishan now.”
“Really?” He stood and stalked toward me.
All of a sudden I couldn’t breathe. I kept backing up until I hit the wall. He pressed his hands against it on either side of my head and leaned in close to me. I stubbornly thrust out my chin, refusing to be intimidated by him.
“Yes. I am. It’s a good thing I came here to talk with you about it anyway. I don’t want you … chasing me around or making things,” I swallowed thickly, “difficult.”
Ren laughed throatily and leaned closer to nuzzle my ear. “You like me to be … difficult.”
“No.” I groaned when he bit my earlobe. “I want my life to be simple and comfortable. And with Kishan, it will be.”
“You don’t really want something simple, do you Kelsey?” His lips pressed against the soft skin behind my ear, and I shivered. “Complication,” he began trailing slow, teasing kisses down my neck, “is what makes life,” he cupped the back of my neck and slid his hand into my hair, “exciting.”
I turned my face away, but he just took the opportunity to explore more of my exposed neck.
“Love is complicated, iadala. Mmm, you taste delicious. Do you know how good it feels to be able to touch you without pain? To kiss you?” He pressed tingling kisses along the length of my jaw, and whispered, “I want to drown in the pleasure of being close to you.”
I groaned and gripped his upper arms. Speaking of drowning, I was going under, and fast. Blinking open my eyes, I grabbed his shoulders, faced him, and used all my strength to push him away, but he only backed off a few inches.
“That’s it, Ren. I mean it. Read … my … lips. I want Kishan. Not you.”
His eyes tightened, but then shone with a wicked gleam. “I thought you’d never ask.” Suddenly, he yanked me into his arms. One of his hands splayed against my back, and the other slipped into my hair. He angled my head and crushed his mouth against mine. Our bodies snapped together like two magnets. A driving wave of heat washed through me. I could have sworn I was drowning, and he was my life preserver. I was so desperate to cling to him, to become a part of him. His touch was familiar yet new. He was like the ocean, so vast, so full of life, so essential to the world. So essential to my world.
My arms slipped around his neck and held on, while he slid his hands up and down my back, pressing me closer. One arm locked around my waist and the other pressed against my middle back. He kissed me wildly, overwhelming me like a giant wave rushing to shore. I was soon lost in the turbulent grasp of his embrace and yet … I knew I was safe. His kiss drove me, pushed me, asked me questions I was unwilling to consider.
But I was cherished by this dark Poseidon, and though he had the power to crush me utterly, to drown me in the purple depths of his wake, he held me aloft, separate. His passionate kiss changed. It gentled and soothed and entreated. Together we drifted toward a safe harbor. The god of the sea set me down securely on a sandy beach and steadied me as I trembled.
Effervescent tingles shot through my limbs, delighting me with surges of sparkling sensation like sandy toes tickled by bubbly waves. Finally, the waves moved away, and I felt my Poseidon watching me from a distance. We looked at each other, knowing we were forever changed by the experience. We both knew that I would always belong to the sea and that I would never be able to part from it and be whole again.
He brushed my cheek with his thumb, touching me lightly, gently. A part of me screamed that I needed him, that I belonged with him, that I couldn’t deny this. But another part of me felt guilty, remembered there was another who loved me, who cared for me, who would be hurt. And I’d made him a promise. I moved back and took a step away from Ren’s all-consuming presence so I could shake off my reaction to him. It didn’t work, but I sucked in a breath determined to pursue my course.
“Hmm,” he trailed his finger from my temple down my cheek to my lips and touched my bottom lip lightly. “That’s interesting.”
Sighing, I asked, “What’s interesting?”
“Despite your protestations, I would say that your lips definitely want … me.”
I let out a cry of frustration, more at my own betrayal than with him, pushed him aside, and brushed my lips with the back of my hand.
“Kelsey.”
“Don’t.” I held up a hand. “Just … just don’t, Ren. I can’t do this. I’m not this kind of a person. I can’t be this way with you anymore.”
“Kelsey, please—”
“No!” I ran out of his room though he called after me.
At that moment, something shook the ship. Ren barreled out of his room toward me, grabbed my hand and yanked me all the way to the wheelhouse. We entered at the same time and got stuck together in the door. Ren thought that was a wonderful opportunity to put his arms around me while I yelled at him. When I finally got through and headed for Kishan, he was frowning, and Ren was smirking. The ship lurched again and I fell into the bookcase and hit my head.
“Can’t you at least make sure she doesn’t get hurt?” Ren hollered.
“He protects me just fine!” I yelled back.
Kishan pulled me into his arms and rubbed the bump on my head. “Don’t let him egg you on, Kells. He’s only trying to get a rise out of you.”
“Perhaps you three could continue this conversation when the ship is not under attack?” Mr. Kadam said. “Nilima! Take the helm!”
Ren grabbed his trident and rushed to the stairs that led to the top of the wheelhouse. Kishan grabbed his chakram and ran to the front of the boat. I took the rear.
Ren shouted loudly, “I can see it! It’s a big fish of some kind.”
I stared at the water and gasped as I made out a huge tail. “It’s heading toward you, Kishan!”
The giant body shoved the boat until it leaned dangerously to one side. When we straightened and the boat fell with a splash, I took off running to Kishan’s side. Because the chakram couldn’t cut through the water, I hit the creature with lightning, and it circled and dove. Everything was silent for a few forbidding minutes, and then a huge shape rose out of the water behind Ren.
My mouth opened in amazement. It was a giant monster fish. Its lower jaw protruded several feet past the upper jaw. Its mouth gaped. Huge vampire-like teeth stuck out from thick gray lips and a giant yellow eye fixed on Ren. Two long flippers whirred in the air like a hummingbird and long black stripes ran from head to tail. Its jaw suddenly snapped shut like a vise.
“Ren! Behind you!”
He spun and thrust the trident into the belly of the fish several times. Black blood poo
led from the circular holes. The fish angled its body, and it fell partway onto the top of the tower. Ren fell overboard and slid down the slick fish’s body into the churning water below.
“Ren! Kishan, help him!”
Kishan at once dove into the water after Ren.
I screamed at the men below, “How’s that going to help?” and ran to the wheelhouse. The fish was circling the area and trying to snap at the two brothers floating next to the ship. Ren used his trident, but he wasn’t making much headway. It helped that the fish’s bottom jaw seemed too big to get close enough for a bite; it kept banging against the boat instead. I grabbed the Scarf and ran back to the side. By now, the fish had given up on biting them and was trying to smash them into the boat.
I mumbled, “Trying to make a couple of Indian prince pancakes? Well, not on my watch.”
I shot the heaviest bursts of lightning I could through my hand, and hit the fish in several places. It twisted angrily in the water, trying to get out of my reach. At the same time, I had the Scarf make a rope ladder that trailed from the railing, down the side of the yacht, to the sea, and yelled at the brothers to grab it. I kept the fish off them long enough that they could climb up.
When they were aboard, dripping and tired, I yelled at Nilima, “Get us out of here!”
I kept blasting bolts at the fish until we were far enough away that it gave up. When I felt that we were finally out of danger, I glared at both the brothers, and then ignored them and stomped up to the wheelhouse.
I shoved in the door and said, “Well, the barrier theory is a sound one. I suggest we plot a course between all those spots. When the boys show up, tell them I said they’re idiots, they’re welcome, and to leave me alone for a while.”
Nilima and Mr. Kadam said nothing. With that, I huffed out of the wheelhouse and went to my room. I locked both doors and filled the Jacuzzi for a good soak. While I soaked, I thought guiltily about the kiss. Apparently, I’m going to have to strengthen my resolve if I want to be loyal to Kishan. I can’t let Ren get me alone. I just don’t have the willpower to resist him. He’s too … too potent. Despite my self-chastisement, I ended up thinking about him the entire time. I felt a rumble. The boat was moving, so obviously we were headed for the green dragon’s lair. I sighed, opened my eyes, and stepped out of the tub.
After I dressed, I went back to the wheelhouse. Everything was quiet. The sun had gone down, and neither Ren nor Kishan was around. I found Nilima alone steering the boat, carefully following Mr. Kadam’s instructions. Grabbing a blanket, I cozied up in a nearby chair. She glanced at me from time to time, but I was totally absorbed in my own thoughts.
“You’re wondering what to do now, aren’t you?”
I sighed. “Yes. I’m wondering how to make Ren understand we can’t be together now.”
“Oh?” She shifted to look at me. “Is that what you are wondering? I was thinking you’d be wondering which one of them will make you happy.”
“Nope. That’s not what I’m wondering at all.”
“I see. So you are determined to be with Kishan, then?”
“I made a promise to him. A commitment.”
“Did you not also do the same with Ren?”
I winced. “Yes. But that was a long time ago.”
“Perhaps not so long to him.” Nilima stared ahead at the blackness.
“Perhaps not.” I studied my hands in my lap. “What do you think I should do?” I asked.
She stretched prettily and then settled back into her former position. “You like to write in your journal, don’t you?”
“Yes.”
“Then I suggest you write about both of them. Write of their strengths and weaknesses. Record what you love about them. Put down what you wish was different. It may help you to see your thoughts on paper.”
“That’s a good idea. Thanks, Nilima.”
I spent the next few days recording my thoughts about both brothers but found I had lots of things both good and bad to say about Ren, and though my list for Kishan was all good, it was also short. I didn’t feel I was doing a good job focusing on him, so I set out to spend time with him. I asked him hundreds of questions and then stubbornly recorded his answers in my journal.
I kissed him several times in a clinical way, trying to gauge my reactions to him. He seemed oblivious to my “tests” and enjoyed the kisses for what they were. Not once did kissing him cause the same reaction it did when kissing Ren. Despite my best efforts, I found I couldn’t duplicate the feeling from that first night either, that first kiss with Kishan, the one when Ren got his memory back. I started to suspect my reaction had not come because of Kishan at all.
One evening, I was strolling the deck with Kishan and had an idea for another test. “Kishan? I want to try something. Do you mind helping me?”
“Sure. What is it?”
“Stand right here. No, behind me. Good. Now stay there for a second.”
I aimed my firepower down at the water. White light shot out of my palm and hit the ocean. A cloud of steam rose up. “Okay, now step up behind me and pull me back against your chest.”
“Like this?”
“Yes. Good. Now lean your head on my shoulder and touch my arms. Put yours on top of mine.”
He ran his hands up and down my arms. I concentrated and pushed with all my energy, but the light didn’t change. There was no intense golden burst of power. I wasn’t overwhelmed with a sense of connection. My power fizzled and died out. I stared hard at the water.
“What is it?” Kishan asked. “Is something wrong?”
Plastering a smile on my face, I turned toward him. After pecking him on the lips, I said, “No. Nothing’s wrong at all. Just a silly idea I had. No big deal.”
I heard a noise above us and saw Ren leaning against a post. He was smirking at me knowingly. I glared at him and kissed Kishan hard. Kishan wrapped an arm around my waist and kissed me back, soundly. When I looked back again, Ren was frowning.
Later that evening, I was lying in a deck chair looking up at the stars while Kishan was working out. I felt a warm tug, a familiar pull on my heart and knew he was near.
A deep hypnotic voice asked, “May I sit?”
“No.”
“I’d like to talk with you.”
“Talk all you like because I’m leaving. I think I’ve had too much sun.”
“The sun’s not out. Sit down and stay put.”
Ren dragged a lounge chair over next to mine and lay down with his hands behind his head.
“How long are you going to let this go on, Kelsey?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Don’t you? I saw you testing Kishan earlier today. You don’t feel for him what you feel for me. You don’t feel with him the way you feel with me.”
“You’re wrong. Being with Kishan is … it’s like heaven.”
“‘The love of heaven makes one heavenly.’”
“Exactly, our love is heavenly.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“It means what I interpret it to mean.”
“Fine. Then you should have no problem interpreting this one. ‘The lady doth protest too much, methinks,’ or how about ‘O, how this spring of love resembleth the uncertain glory of an April day; which now shows all the beauty of the sun, and by and by a cloud takes all away.’”
“A cloud didn’t take our love away, you did. I warned you what the consequences would be, and you said, and I quote, ‘I won’t need another chance. I won’t be seeking you out again.’ Are those not your exact words, Ren?”
He flinched. “They were. But—”
“No. There is no ‘but.’ There’s no coming back from this one, Ren.”
“But, Kelsey, I did it for you. Not because I wanted to, but because I wanted to save you.”
“I understand that, but what’s done is done. I’m not going to hurt Kishan because you changed your mind. You’re going to have to live with the consequences
of your choices just as I do.”
He got up and knelt beside my chair. Picking up my hand, he twined his fingers with mine. “You’re forgetting something, iadala. Love is not a consequence. Love is not a choice. Love is a thirst—a need as vital to the soul as water is to the body. Love is a precious draft that not only soothes a parched throat but also vitalizes a man. It fortifies him enough that he is willing to slay dragons for the woman who offers it. Take that draft of love from me, and I will shrivel to dust. To take it from a man dying of thirst and give it to another while he watches is a cruelty I never thought you capable of.”
I snorted and he sighed.
“‘Thou art to me a delicious torment,’ Kelsey.”
“Who said that?”
“The first part? Me. That last line, Emerson.”
“I see. Go on. You were speaking of your parts being vitalized?”
He narrowed his eyes. “You’re mocking me.”
“Well, don’t you think you’re being overdramatic,” I held up my fingers in a pinch, “just a teensy bit?”
“Maybe. Perhaps it’s because I’m a coward. Shakespeare wrote, ‘Cowards die many times before their deaths, the valiant never taste of death but once.’”
“How does that make you a coward?”
“Because I’ve died many deaths, mostly over you, and I’m still alive. Trying to have a relationship with you is like trying to rescue someone from Hades. Only a fool would keep going back to get a woman who fights him every step of the way.”
“Ah, but that makes you a fool, not a coward.”
He frowned and said, “Perhaps I am both.” He studied my face and asked quietly, “Was it too much to ask you to wait for me? To believe in me? Don’t you know how much I love you?”
I squirmed under his gaze.
Ren pressed on, “I die a little death every time we’re separated, Kelsey.”
I swallowed the guilt and let pride take over. “Lucky for you, cats have nine lives. I only have one life and one heart, and it’s been jerked around so much I’m surprised it still beats.”
“It would help if you stop offering your heart to every man you meet,” he suggested dryly.
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