“I was just gonna say, if you need somebody to talk to or anything…” She turned her head toward her lap, evaluating her artwork on her arm. “I know what’s it’s like to not have anybody- to be that girl.”
“I bet.” I admitted. “I’ve been that girl too. It sucks.”
“And there’s the tattoos…” Ava mumbled.
“What about tattoos?” I asked.
She looked up right into my eyes indignantly, “It just seems a little strange that the same week you show up to Balmorhea flashing around that wicked tattoo, Heath goes and gets one too. His looks like yours too, all glittery. It’s like writing, but I’ve never seen it before.”
Ava was staring right at my neck mesmerized by the design like she was cracking an age-old code. I knew so little about being a daemon, but I knew enough not to question possibilities. Anything was possible. Whatever darkness lived inside this girl, I knew it wasn’t a daemon. The ability of seeing auras gave her special insight to people. So many things about Ava’s ramblings were right, and raised many more questions within me. She wanted answers as badly as I did. But just like my dad, there were things I wasn’t allowed to tell her- for her safety and mine.
I took a deep breath, I couldn’t deny everything she said, “Look, I can explain a few things to you about me. I can’t speak for Heath, but I can tell you this,” I squeezed my eyes shut, not sure I should be doing this, “I’m kind of an original…like you. I can see things, do things that no one else can do too.”
Ava just looked at me, her face unmoving, almost frowning. She sniffed, “I’m listening.”
“Not many people can see this tattoo on me,” I touched my shoulder, “I was surprised, because I’ve only met one other human being that could see it besides me.”
“Hmm,” she grunted.
“You don’t believe me?”
She looked heavenward, “I don’t know. I’m used to people making fun of me. I hope that’s not what you’re doing.”
I wondered about the extent of Ava’s damage. It couldn’t have been easy to live in a small town and not have anyone to turn to with this kind of inescapable secret. I felt like that for a while, but I had Orrin, and Ben, even though I never actually told her about my true origins.
And I had my dad.
“I’m not making fun of you. I promise.”
“Does that mean that Heath is something ….something other than normal?” She asked.
“I can’t speak for him,” I didn’t want to answer that, “I can only tell you about me.”
“Ahh,” she said, “You mean you’re only allowed to tell me about you.”
I didn’t say anything. Just sat there and remained motionless.
“Am I getting warmer?”
I nodded. “I hope you don’t ever have to know the things I know, or have to see the monsters in my closet. If your thing is auras, you at least should know there’s a reason you see what you do.”
“What is it? What’s the reason?”
“I don’t know,” I answered honestly, “But you should find out. Have you ever done research on it?”
“No. I’m afraid of what I might learn. Most of the time I try to pretend it’s not there- the auras, I mean. Sometimes I wish it would go away.”
“We can’t change who we are, but we can decide what to do with the gifts we have- that goes for everyone.”
Ava nodded, “I figured that too. Like maybe there’s a reason I can into peoples souls. That’s where the color comes from, you know. It’s like a light emanating out from someone’s soul. That’s why it’s weird that you and Heath have two separate colors.”
“Why is that weird?” I asked her.
“Well, to me, I can only figure it’s because you have two parts inside you. At one time one color is always more prominent, but the other one is still there, like they are battling for control.” She gestured wildly excitedly talking about her gift. “It’s like yall each have two souls.”
I gaped, open-mouthed, and stared at her with wide eyes.
She smiled, “Or you’re two halves of the same soul.”
I turned my head, searching for Heath on the track. He has running around the last bend, the sun beating down on his body. His shirt left his arms exposed, but I saw nothing. I turned back, about to tell Ava exactly what I didn’t see but she interrupted. “Sometimes the mark is there and then other times it disappears. Keep looking at his arm.”
“Oh, I know where it is.”
Heath reached the finish line before the rest of his teammates. I didn’t take my eyes off him as he moved toward his jug of water. There was nothing. I wanted so badly for those black marks to be there. Maybe that meant my presence was starting to affect him and that his birthright was returning. I needed those marks to show themselves to me too. But after a few minutes of staring, Heath began to notice my blatant staring, so did the rest of the track team down below. They were giving him a hard time, and he obviously didn’t appreciate it. My eyes found his and they held for long, precious seconds. It almost felt like he was Orrin again, those beguiling eyes slightly exasperated with me.
But Heath looked angry at the spectacle I was making in front of his friends. He shook his head breaking our connection. He raised his arm to wipe the sweat from his brow and there it was.
Black scrawls moved like watery serpents slinking around the skin from his wrist to his elbow, and then they drifted back underneath his skin. The judgment put upon him was strong and unbroken, but so was his soul, and for one breath-taking moment, I saw him.
And I think he saw me.
“Look at that,” she whispered looking all around my body, staring at the colors only her eyes could detect. “There yall go again. You guys just lit each other up torches.”
Ava Ruiz was definitely insightful, eerily so. I stared at her pleased and yet very irritated. I wasn’t sure if she was going to make my pursuit of Heath more difficult or not.
Let me have her. I’ll make it painful and beautiful.
I got up, not knowing what else to say only knowing my daemon wanted to eat her for dinner. I had embarrassed myself and Heath, and soon Daisy would hear about it too. I knew that wasn’t my greatest concern, but I didn’t want to hurt her.
A goofy smile was plastered to Ava’s face as she watched my aura dance. Her eyes had gone heavy and hazy. Her arm rested on top of her knees. I could see the work she created on her own arm. She was a very good artist. I wondered if she had any other media besides her own flesh. There were words that crawled along the vines, mimicking its movement, blending and forming the petals on the back of her hand.
“Love is the only redemption from darkness,” I read the words aloud bringing them to life. The poignant words were like daggers in my heart.
Moments such as those made me believe in fate. That was another example of the people and events, all woven together, their form still unknown. Ava was a girl I could trust. I didn’t know who put her in my path, but I’m glad she was there.
Chapter 6
Gossip
Desperation clawed at me like another daemon, but I only had myself to blame for this problem. Everyone at school began to notice my silent stares and quiet fascination with Heath.
After embarrassing myself in front of the entire track team, Ross Bryant became a human barricade- me on one side and Heath and Daisy on the other. Heathcliff Darringer’s best friend would stand with his arms crossed over his chest like a personal body guard.
I had been exorcised from Daisy’s group of friends and anyone else loyal to the golden couple. The whole school thought the two of them walked on water, perfect in every way. Valerie figured I was just jealous of Daisy and accused me of trying to mess up her chance to be voted prom queen.
None of that mattered. If I couldn’t get to him during school hours, I would just play along with their petty game, and find another way to get Heath alone. Little did they know I spent the moonlit hours curled around him in his narrow bed, while he sighed
my name and pulled me close.
Prom was only a week away and the temperature was rising just like the tan lines on most of the student body. These were good people and most of the students around here either participated in after school sports or performed some kind of hard labor like bailing hay, driving a tractor, or mucking various livestock pens. The way the rallied around Daisy and Heath made me understand they were hard-working, loyal bunch of folks. They thought I was trying to horn in on Daisy’s man and were going to put a stop to it.
I wondered what Daisy thought at that point. She wasn’t less friendly to me, maybe only a bit more awkward, but always sweet. Daisy didn’t buy into the gossip, as far as I could see, but she couldn’t stop the opinions that had spread like wildfire, in which I was a total jealous whore bent on stealing Daisy’s boyfriend away, just because it would be something entertaining to do while I stayed in their po-dunk town.
The inspiring part was that everyone else began to see our connection too- even Heath. It irritated him during the day, but didn’t fight it during sleep.
Basically my new classmates had a very low opinion of me, which didn’t matter to me in the slightest. But it did matter what Heath thought and he tried not to think about me at all. His strategy was to ignore me in the hopes that I would just go away.
I know you’re in there. Just come back to me. Help me, somehow, so I can make it right for both of us. You’re all I have left.
My silent pleas went unanswered, blown away and swept up with so many other unanswered prayers that went missing in the West Texas winds.
My need for Orrin was a tangible presence. My daemon was rising up, becoming more forceful in its quest to burn and destroy. People would pass me in the hallway, and I would hear my daemon whisper, What would smell like if she were burnt alive?
At first, I believed that my angelic side would help me control the daemon within me- like two against one, human and angel versus daemon. But that wasn’t how it felt at all. There was any increased goodness inside of me. This past week I had been pushed to the edge of a deep gorge with forces pushing and pulling me toward the edge. The evil was gaining strength, its voice louder in my head louder with every passing moment Orrin was apart from me.
“So you’re not going to prom either, huh?” Ava had snuck up behind me, her lunch tray clattered on the long cafeteria table. She caught me staring at Heath and smirked.
“His aura’s a little redder today, but that gray cloud around him is still there.”
I tried hard not to make eye contact with Heath. He began to watch me as much as I watched him, but his glances were hooded and quick. He stole glances at me when Daisy and Ross weren’t close by. I hoped it wasn’t because he was creeped-out by my presence. He seemed curious. Whenever his eyes fell on me I could feel it as strongly as if his fingers grazed my skin. My tattoo tingled into life and my daemon purred for more.
At least it’s a start.
“No, I’m not going.” I chewed on my carrot sticks I had brought from home, “Red, huh? Is that for love, or something?”
“You wanna hang out then?” Ava asked. She obviously was bothered by the idea of spending her senior prom night by herself. “And yes, it’s a sign of love. Probably love for Daisy, don’t you think?”
“Probably,” I said taking a bite of meatloaf.
Prom.
I didn’t have a date. I should have had a date. I wanted to have a date. I was still part human and who wouldn’t be bothered by the idea of not having a date or even going to their Senior prom?
Not me,that’s for sure, I lied to myself. There wasn’t anyone else I wanted to celebrate, dance, laugh or hold- other than Orrin, and he wasn’t there. It was only Heath, and I wanted him just as badly.
I had convinced myself that Heath was an imposter- as if he was somehow holding onto Orrin. I thought that he had locked him away, knowing that Heath, the persona, couldn’t exist if Orrin ever emerged.
But after studying him for some time, my view of the situation changed. All the nights I watched Heath sleep, his peacefulness, sincerity, and guileless smile were genuine. He would hold me, whisper my name, and sometimes kiss my forehead. I began to feel things for Heath that I previously only felt for Orrin. My soul cried out for Heath just as often as it did Orrin, like Orrin was slowly being replaced by someone different. They were the same person, the same body, same soul. So why did I feel like I was being unfaithful to Orrin by wanting Heath so badly?
They’re the same person!
I breathed a heavy sigh and turned to Ava. She wanted to hang out Saturday night while the rest of the upper classmen lived it up at the VFW on Main Street. If anything this would be an opportunity to learn more about her abilities and if she could possibly help restore Orrin’s memories to Heath.
“So what are we doing?” I asked her blandly.
She smiled wickedly, “It’s a surprise. I think you’ll appreciate it. Not many people do, but I have a feeling you will.”
I tried to act excited, “It better not involve a Ouija board.”
Ava was genuinely glad for my company. I didn’t want to just use her, but I didn’t plan on being buddies either. I came to Balmorhea for one reason and wouldn’t be sticking around once the job was done.
Chapter 7
Nightwalking
I’m awake.
Why am I awake?
I rubbed my eyes, wondering why everything was suddenly in black and white. The world around me was colorless, drained of all life and feeling. I felt desolate and numb. I knew nothing around me was real, but I didn’t know how I got here or where I was.
It looked familiar though, the field and the dirt road that separated the Darringer’s farm from Balmorhea.
And Orrin. It was Heath actually. He was looking around frantically, scared. He was as confused about our location as I was. I was dreaming, I knew, I was in my pajamas, my feet bare, I could feel the long pointy grass beneath my feet.
“Layla? What’s happening? Am I dreaming?” His mouth moved but the sound was only in my head.
I shrugged, not trusting my own voice yet.
We stood in an empty field, the same one where Mr. Reese and I practiced self-defense. I looked to the tree that stood a good distance away. It was the only part of this place that had life inside of it. Its thick brown trunk and lush green leaves stood out prominently against the grey of our dream world. It alone was a light of life surrounded by desolation.
We walked toward each other, but froze when we sensed another’s presence.
Lillith stood across the field from me maybe ten paces away. She skin glowed inhumanly white but she smelled of decay, rot, and death. Her cheeks were sunken and her eyes glowed like fire. Her hair, the same color as mine blew loosely in the wind. Her dress, once beautiful, was tattered and worn. She looked as if she just escaped from the grave, but she was still powerful and striking. Being banished to hell had taken its toll on her. Her powers had weakened, but I knew I was still no match for her. I looked forward to the day we would finally face each other, but I knew it wasn’t that moment. Nothing about this place was real.
“Heath, run!” I yelled, but my voice was silent. I could hear his heart beating above the dull silent roar. He looked to me, hearing my words in his head the same way I had heard his.
“No,” He answered, holding his ground.
“Stupid,” I threw back, never taking my eyes off Lillith.
“I won’t leave you again, Layla. I’m staying.”
Lillith raised her hand and touched the tips of the tall grass. Orange flames dripped from her fingertips, devouring the dry colorless blades. A shock went through me, like pure lust. I moaned seeing that fire, wanting it to touch my skin and consume me the same was it was consuming the field. I shuddered and reached out my hands beckoning, pulling the fire toward me. It burned a straight path and fanned out, like fingers growing taller and brighter. I could feel its heat, bringing death to this lifeless world and life to the darkness
within me. I breathed it all and looked to find my mother. We shared a smile for the first time.
“Come find me, Layla,” Lillith’s voice was a soothing as the fire.
“Layla, it’s a trick,” Heath’s voice was barely a whisper consumed by the roar within my mind.
“Tell me how, mother,” I said automatically, my voice layered with my daemon’s own raspy sound.
“You must free Orrin. He’s the Porter. He is the only one who can free me.”
“I’ll do it,” I felt like crying and tearing this world apart, “I’ll make him do it. For you.”
“My baby. Come to me,” She reached out her hands. Her movements were mechanical, wrong somehow, but I didn’t care. I craved her acceptance at that moment, and she was there, arms open ready to ease my loneliness. “You can have me and I’ll give you Orrin. You’ll never have to be without us again.”
I was so thankful for her. She gave me my birthright, the fire, my strength that could only be raised from destruction. I had so much to be grateful for, and it was all because of Lillith. At that moment I loved her so much tears filled my eyes.
I took one solid step into the flames and toward her. Heath began to fade into the flames when a booming voice drawing me from the fiery miasma, “Do not deviate from your journey, girl.”
It was Orias. He looked more like a God than a daemon. He brought darkness and light into this place. His eyes blazed with an eerie blue light. He stood like a statue unmoving the fire dying around him. His presence alone was enough to immobilize me.
“I just want him back,” I cried silently, feeling defeated. I didn’t know what everyone wanted from me, or what this was happening. This nightmarish place was sucking the life out of me. I felt as lifeless and the burning grass around me. “That’s not him,” I pointed at Heath. He wore a look of betrayal, “You never said it would be this hard.”
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